are we sometimes congratulating people for undereating? Loo

SK24373

OK I am going to piss some people off with my post but...here it goes.
I will start by saying that I love the support, energy and community here at MFP. I know that we all share common goals of being fit and healthy, and many people are trying to lose weight, etc.

I think it is great that people take the time to encourage others and comment on their status. I have been super touched by people reaching out to say "good job" or comment on a small victory, etc..

BUT...I also think that just because someone's status comes up "Sandy finished her diet and exercise diary and was below her calorie goal - or whatever it exactly says) is not necessarily a reason to say "way to go" or "good job".

We are ALL different. We are different ages, genders, body types. We have different goals and different circumstances.

I personally believe that we need to congratulate EVERY person here trying to live a better life, be fit, be accountable, be honest and be healthy. Anyone who is making an effort, dealing with setbacks, educating themselves on better nutrition, exercise, etc.

BUT...sometimes I look at someone's food diary (partially because I am interested in getting ideas about different foods/snacks to try and because if you look great, I wanna know what you are eating -lol) and it is WAY under what their "goal" is. I mean I have seen people eat only 900 calories, and work out like Olympians. Now...if this happens once in a blue moon because you were busy or sick, or just didn't log in all of your calories, then I totally understand. BUT...I hope we are not just congratulating people for under-eating or starving themselves or not understanding the importance of proper nutrition!

Also...I try to keep it real and honest and log my workouts. SOme days my heart rate is going and I have energy and I kick butt.
Other days I am tired and short on time and I try to keep the discipline of doing something, but it is not always a "great" workout.

I wish we were able to add commentary about how we feel about our own workouts - lol. SOmetimes people write "great burn" or WTG - and it is sooooooooooooo cool of them because I know that they are in my corner. BUT sometimes I feel like telling them "the truth is that I was a lazy *kitten* today and only got my heart rate up to 112 today and barely broke a sweat" - or whatever.

I want people to PUSH me. Don't congratulate me for logging in every day - no matter how many days in a row it is. Kick my butt if I start slacking. GIve me suggestions to kick it up. Share your pics of your progress and inspire me.

NOW this is just the way I feel. I know others appreciate and enjoy the comments and congrats on "logging" anniversaries, etc and if that works for you then I am all for it. Everyone has different motivators and when I comment on your stuff I believe it in my heart and it is genuine.

This is just my personal opinion and perspective. And so...I am asking my MFP to kick my butt little harder.
Thanks in advance

skfj5

Well put...

JillyCornwall

What you say is very true........I think we are quick to congratulate when perhaps we should really be offering supportive criticism instead...I actually read the diaries before I comment.....some don't.

rockabillydarlin

There's an option in your food and exercise diary for notes -- it's at the bottom of the page. Maybe you can log those things there if you want? That way when people look they'll see it too.

erickirb

I agree. Unde-eating can be just as bad as over eating, and maybe even worse, depending on the circumstance.

Tiffanyluvsaaron

I like what you are explaining on here...People do need to make sure that they are striving to eat the calories that they should be getting in a day! Thanks for posting this, and I hope it helps some of those to realize that starving yourself may lose some pounds at first, but not only are they hurting their bodies, but they are at the same time going to eventually stop losing, because their bodies will go in to survival mode and store everything that they do eat as fat. Thats the opposite of getting healthy which is what we are all trying to do on this site

godroxmysox

I'm with you! I'm sure people's intentions are good, but I've always wondered when I read it on my newsfeed. Chances are, many of the people on myfitnesspal are going to eat the absolute minimum calories suggested in hopes of losing weight more quickly. Say the minimum is 1200...and they only eat 950, thus putting them under their calorie goal...I don't think that's "way to go" worthy - it's unhealthy. Thanks for putting yourself out there; hopefully people will read this and realize it's not necessarily a good thing!

JStarnes

I think that status-update feature was originally put out there for people to encourage others to be eating all of the calories if they see that someone was beneath their goal - not so much to congratulate on being under.

beckajw

I congratulate people just for finishing their diary, whether over or under, logging is the important thing.

I'm confused by your statement about telling people how you feel about your exercise. After I enter mine and it appears on my "wall", I can put a comment under it. You're right, it would be nice to be able to post a comment right in that area, but I still often will write something about my workout underneather in the comments area.

BrendaBlis

Makes total sense.

Also, if we're suppose to eat our workout calories, why is it good that we are "under" the calories. I thought that was bad. :huh:

Brooklyn5966

I understand were you are coming from, I actaully get somewhat comfused by the site at times. It's like they say YAY you were under your calorie goal GREAT JOB! Then in itty bitty letters it tells you, you are porbably starving yourself. I get confused on what I'm really suppost to be doing here...eat over my calories, hit exactly 1200 a day or ignore the little warning at the bottom once you've logged in for the day!

Krizzle4Rizzle

I too have thought about this.

pilotgirl2007

I agree! I was looking at those diary completion posts the other day and thinking to myself why is it good to be UNDER your goal. I generally don't complete my food diary anymore because I am making it a habit to eat over my calorie goal (not by a lot but somewhere around 100 cals give or take a few) This is still less than I would need to maintain my weight at my goal weight but not even close to putting me in starvation mode so I feel that I don't want to have it post to my wall that I didn't meet my goal because that just isn't true...

chnkydnknmomma

I agree that some people are way under. I'm tending to be under, but I think it's because I am really not "eating my excersize". I'm loving the support and the sharing from everyone, it's so encouraging to see everyone's progress.

As far as commenting on your own excersize, you can. After you log it, it will come up on your profile, and you can comment on it there. I did that the other day. I walked 7 mins on the treadmill, and burned something like 39 calories...I did post the comment that it sounds lame, but it was just a warm-up before a 45-minute abs class at my gym.

In any case, keep up the good work! I'm not good at kickin butt, I prefer Richard Simmons to JIllian Michaels...lol...I will give all the encouragement I can muster!!!

newnormal2010

Personally, I think the "pat on the back" message should be more along the lines of "Sandy completed her food diary and was within her target range." I hate the fact that I can go over by one calorie and lose the good feedback, but I can go under by an unhealthy amount without losing that feedback. On the other hand, if your weight and goals are such that your target calories are at or near 1200, you almost can't win! If you are under your goal, you're going to get the "you aren't eating enough" message. Very frustrating! :huh:

Syreeta6

I never comment on someone's diary unless I can view it and unless I actually VIEW IT. I can't tell you good job if yours is private or I haven't even looked at it. You may be under your calorie goal and only ate an apple today. That is not rewardable (for lack of a better word) behavior

eeeekie

I completely agree.

I find it especially hard to give encouragement to people who's diaries are locked. Who's to know how you ate? You could have had 1 grape all day and exercised like a maniac or you could have binged and ate horribly. I feel like If I tell you you're doing a great job for being under...I have no idea how you were under! I could be feeding into some crazy starvation thing or you could have ate 5 candy bars! I have no idea =\.

I've come to the conclusion if you're diary isn't open I will just say wtg...that's even pushing it. I feel so weird leaving encouragement for closed diaries.

Eric0388

In my opinion I undereat everyday :-)

LeonaB17

I agree. I recently started using the "notes" section in my diary to explain why a particular day was funky or whatever. I like that because 6 months from now I might not know why I had a horrible day that day etc. Not that I'm making excuses or what not but I'm just gonna be honest and say crazy days happen. And generally if i feel additional explanation is warranted on an exercise post - i'll just comment on my own post.

ByTheBeach

thanks for posting this. i used to say "good job" when my friends ate less than they should...then I realized I didn't want to congratulate people on being malnourished.

karensoxfan

...BUT...I also think that just because someone's status comes up "Sandy finished her diet and exercise diary and was below her calorie goal - or whatever it exactly says) is not necessarily a reason to say "way to go" or "good job".

...I wish we were able to add commentary about how we feel about our own workouts - lol. SOmetimes people write "great burn" or WTG - and it is sooooooooooooo cool of them because I know that they are in my corner. BUT sometimes I feel like telling them "the truth is that I was a lazy *kitten* today and only got my heart rate up to 112 today and barely broke a sweat" - or whatever.

1. I usually skim someone's diary before I congratulate them or pat them on the back for being under calories too. I also HATE that the status is either under calories or just "completed the day". I wish there was a way to say if the day was near target or not, maybe within 200 calories or something. I HATE when I'm only a few calories over and had a great day, but don't get "credit" for it.

2. To add commentary how I feel about any of my workouts, I just leave a comment on my own update, so I can write if I was especially proud of an accomplishment, or if I was estimating the burn or anything like that, since I figure most people won't look at the notes I write when I record the workout on the "Track Exercise" page, KWIM?

bootlebop1979

I agree with ya! Btw- I am never under my goal. Since I joined, I have been over my goal every single day. However, I am still losing weight. I may need to cut out a few "extras" later if it becomes an issue. I don't always have to have my Starbucks!

baisleac

From my profile page: "Note to folks requesting MFP "friendship", I will happily cheer you on, but don't hope for comments on your daily calorie posts unless I can see your diary. I'm a firm believer in meeting your Goal calories (eat your exercise calories, darn it!) "

IOW - I totally agree!

SK24373

Thanks to all who took the time to read and respond. I also appreciate the suggestions about adding commentary to the exercise feeds. I meant what I said...that I respect and admire everyone on this site for making the effort to have a better life and body.

I hope some of you will become MFP friends. Congratulations on your journeys. KICK SOME SERIOUS BOOTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MelissaG36

I hear ya, And I know alot of times Im under my calorie goal by 2- 5 calories, how am I supposed to eat that?? I rarely count my exercise cause truth is I dont have an exact work out regiment, but believe me I have 3 childern & in the middle of getting ready to transfer to another state. I dont count my cleaning, packing, picking my kids up,etc.. Trust me I dont get to sit much in fact Im standing here, eating lunch & commenting while chasing my son out of the recycle bin :O) I dont count that but use it as good for me when I have a day that Im not doing as much :O)
I recently moved my food diary to public to help hold me accountable & maybe encourage some of my friends to see that they can eat healthy & get more than plenty to eat during the day. Im with you though when someone posts that they wasted 400 calories on 2 cokes & had Pretzels for dinner, WTH??? You cant eat like that your body needs actuall food to survive.
Now I know Im not full blown health nut, I do like my ice cream & snacks, And I reserve calories for that . I eat 5 times a day, fully satisfied & notice the HUGE diffence in the way I feel when I eat crappy. I feel bad for those who starve themselves, I want to tell them HEY, You need to eat! But I dont know them personally or their lifestyles. But I hope your post keeps people from congradulating when its totally wrong to.

donicagalek

The tricky thing is, we ARE all different so it's hard to make accurate comments sometimes. Personally, I'm testing things out with "starvation mode". Having had Roux-en-Y last summer I have to consider the possibility that my body now accepts that much of a deficit as "normal" so I'm aiming for a negative net for at least a couple of days a week.

Why not every day? MS is beating the heck out of me and leaving me with pins and needles in at least half my body. Something I have no control over. But, I'm keeping it positive and trying to keep the stress hormones away. :-D

Regardless, when someone gives you a congratulatory comment for something that you think is nothing it could possibly be because your actions are motivating to them. Looking at your avatar, I would imagine that even half a day of what you accomplish with your workouts would leave me in the dust. :-D

karensoxfan

Personally, I think the "pat on the back" message should be more along the lines of "Sandy completed her food diary and was within her target range." I hate the fact that I can go over by one calorie and lose the good feedback, but I can go under by an unhealthy amount without losing that feedback. On the other hand, if your weight and goals are such that your target calories are at or near 1200, you almost can't win! If you are under your goal, you're going to get the "you aren't eating enough" message. Very frustrating! :huh:

Great minds think alike! I didn't see this before I posted my note.

alesanafyi

Nothing wrong with 900 calories.
You don't need 2000 calories. I mean if you eat that much, don't even complain about not losing weight because DUH.

As for working out, how are you going to tone up if you don't?

rockabillydarlin

I understand were you are coming from, I actaully get somewhat comfused by the site at times. It's like they say YAY you were under your calorie goal GREAT JOB! Then in itty bitty letters it tells you, you are porbably starving yourself. I get confused on what I'm really suppost to be doing here...eat over my calories, hit exactly 1200 a day or ignore the little warning at the bottom once you've logged in for the day!

I find that even if I'm only a few calories under -- 50 or less -- it still says that I may be eating too few calories. I try to eat all of my exercise calories; I'm a grazer, so it's not always hard for me to do so (lol) but it's impossible to hit the exact number of calories allotted and I'd rather be under a few than over.

That being said, I agree with you about only eating a small portion of the calories. It's not healthy.

beatlemom

I congratulate people just for finishing their diary, whether over or under, logging is the important thing.

I'm confused by your statement about telling people how you feel about your exercise. After I enter mine and it appears on my "wall", I can put a comment under it. You're right, it would be nice to be able to post a comment right in that area, but I still often will write something about my workout underneather in the comments area.

Agreed

rob504

Whilst wanting to support and and give encouragement to others who in turn reciprocate, I think we manage to overlook that the site is myfitnesspal NOT my-half-starve-myself-in-the-pursuit-of-shedding-the-pounds-pal .