just want to sit down and cry for hours

mandamama

I think that is a GREAT Idea, I am just reading this for the first time, and I think what you are saying without saying it, is that you need help. you know you need help. becuase I *think* you know, that once you get to those numbers you are thinking now, at that point, it isn't going to be enough and you are going to want to go further.
I agree you should live to feel healthy and beautiful. you shoul look at yourself everyday, and tell yourself one thing you think looks great, and leave it at that, walk away from the mirror. It sounds to me as though, you have lost the weight, but never gained the confidence you need to know its enough and its time to stop.
I wish you the very best of luck, and I hope that seeking counselling helps you fight your demons

jesster64

You're in college, best 4 years of your life. Enjoy. study, make friends for life, and enjoy being young. The more you stress, the more your eating and weight will be affected.

young1726

Great! So glad to hear it. Good luck. I hope you they can HELP YOU find the strength you need to move past this. You are beautiful.

Sarahr73

In case anyone was interested, I am making an appointment with my school's psychological services tomorrow morning. Enough people have been seriously concerned about me that I realized it has to stop. I need to get help before I get worse. Thank you everyone; I truly and deeply mean that.

I just read this post and I was thinking an eating disorder also. I am glad to see that you are going to talk with someone. Unfortunately, a lot of social media shows women as stick thin but that's not what most men really want. One of my male friends told me once that women should be soft, they shouldn't have bones that stick out like a lot of media shows.
And when you track food and exercise, it is easy to become obsessed with it. One day your just trying to get to a healthy weight and the next you are constantly thinking about eating less and exercising more.
I think you look beautiful the way you are now and I wish you the best of luck to be able to see yourself the way your MFP family does

newnormal2010

Yay you! I'm so glad you've decided to do this. I sincerely hope that you will find it helpful. If you choose to share how things are going, you'll find lots of supportive interest. But if you want to keep that private, people will respect that, too. I'm very glad that you shared your decision to seek help, though -- I've been thinking about you all weekend! :flowerforyou:

NanoReefDiver

I was just thinking about you and this thread again and wanted to wish you the best

loro1971

hi! i came back to this topic to see how you are... thinking about you and hoping you are ok!!!

kiwi_dee

In case anyone was interested, I am making an appointment with my school's psychological services tomorrow morning. Enough people have been seriously concerned about me that I realized it has to stop. I need to get help before I get worse. Thank you everyone; I truly and deeply mean that.

I've just found and read this thread and was really glad to see you post this. All the very best :flowerforyou:

believetoachieve

As a psychology major in university, you should be able to acknowledge that this isn't healthy or safe for yourself. Both your physical and mental body will suffer and you should seek help. A 25" waist on a 5'6 frame is pretty small.

_CHRISTIE_

If your college, like most, has a counseling center, I strongly urge you to make an appointment with someone there. Your student fees pay for this service, so it's a waste not to use it when it would be useful to you. There will be people there who are to some degree experts in body-image and eating disorders, and I think it could be very, very helpful for you. You are acknowledging that there is a problem and that it is in your own head, so that's a huge step in the right direction. You know you're in a bad place and you want to move on so you can live your life. Excellent! Now just reach out to people who can give you the tools to do that.

If you have a problem with your plumbing (in your house), you call a plumber. No one expects to be able to fix that sort of thing for themselves. (Some people can, of course, but there isn't an expectation that they *should* be able to.) Somehow, though, when it comes to internal things not working right, we feel it's shameful to seek professional help. It isn't an admission of weakness to do this. It's merely an admission that you don't have the specific skill that you need right now, so you need to work with someone who can teach you that skill. Maybe better than the plumbing analogy would be this: If you want to play the violin, you don't buy one, try to play it, and then give yourself a hard time because you can't get it. You realize that this is a new skill you want to develop, so you take lessons. So think of seeking professional help in terms of "taking lessons" to think differently about your body. Don't worry about the fact that some people were able to pick up this skill without formal lessons. Some people *can* pick up a violin and just start playing. So what? If you can't do that, and you want to play, you take lessons.

I wish you well with this. Although I'm on MFP trying to lose weight, I understand that your situation is a painful one, and I would never make the mistake of envying you. And, in case you're wondering: Yes, I have gone to a professional counselor, although not for anything to do with my weight. However, working through issues that contributed to my depression got me to a place where I was ready to make good choices for myself and start losing the weight I needed to lose. And, yes, making the decision to seek that help was difficult. But it was *so* the right thing to do!

I'm glad you shared. Don't feel bad about letting those feelings out. They do less harm out in the open. :flowerforyou:

I second this! As a counselor by profession I agree completely with this previous poster and this was pretty much what I was going to post to you as well..... I would def. utilize your student services counseling department at your university.... sometimes they have support groups with other individuals who are going through some of the same exact issues you are.... It def. would be worth your while to check into this.... I am so sorry you are going through this... and I also agree with what another poster said about finding activities to make yourself busy, to take your attention and focus off of how many calories you are counting...

I bet also in your student fitness center there are nutritionists free of charge, I know at the university I went to there was... i would suggest that you do yourself a big favor and do some research as to the resources you have available to you... if it were uncommon or unnatural then there wouldn't be these resources available, but honey you need to get help.... These are very unhealthy behaviors and feelings and all of these feelings you are presenting with are signs of depression and also are associated with eating disorders, as I'm sure you know.... You can work on getting healthy.... and yes that is much much easier said than done... but you can do this! I encourage you to keep on this journey to finding a healthy you, but just make sure you focus on doing it in the right way. You have made a huge step by posting your feelings and venting on here, so let this just be the first of many steps that you make! Good luck!!!