OT: Allowance?

ambertimmons21

My husband and I have different views on allowance. He feels that there are things that your children should do and not expect an allowance (i.e. clean roon, make bed, do own laundry,ect.). By the way our son is 8yrs. old. The issue is we have never been able to get him to do his chores, no matter how hard we try. we would ground him, take playstation away, you name it, we tried it. Well since I started giving him an allowanve every week, he has not only started doing his chores, but he has even started asking for more chores to earn extra cash. I swear, I have a different child. My husband just doesn't feel that it is right that we have to pay him to do the things that he should be doing anyway. I also agree,but I also feel that after years of trying everything under the sun and it not working, when you find something that works, stick with it. I would just like some feedback on what you guys think or, if you have children his age, what you guys do and whether it works or not.

ambertimmons21

My husband and I have different views on allowance. He feels that there are things that your children should do and not expect an allowance (i.e. clean roon, make bed, do own laundry,ect.). By the way our son is 8yrs. old. The issue is we have never been able to get him to do his chores, no matter how hard we try. we would ground him, take playstation away, you name it, we tried it. Well since I started giving him an allowanve every week, he has not only started doing his chores, but he has even started asking for more chores to earn extra cash. I swear, I have a different child. My husband just doesn't feel that it is right that we have to pay him to do the things that he should be doing anyway. I also agree,but I also feel that after years of trying everything under the sun and it not working, when you find something that works, stick with it. I would just like some feedback on what you guys think or, if you have children his age, what you guys do and whether it works or not.

sweetsarahj

Totally agree with you. Not only are you teaching your son how to be responsible with the household chores, you're also teaching him the value of a dollar. He's going to start looking at money differently, because he has to work to earn it. This is an invaluable lesson that children must be taught early.

pbjsand

I have a 13 yr. old and she has been doing chores for allowance since she was 7. We do not pay her to clearn her room or make her bed. But there are other chores she does to earn an allowance. We can't make her clean her room, so I simply close the door. When she's had enough of a junky room because she can't find anything, she cleans it. She can clean her bathroom, computer room, vacuum, empty and reload the dishwasher, dust etc...for allowance. We have found that when she wants something, we don't automatically buy it for her and she will do chores out the ying yang till she has enough money for it. Then she may slack off for a week or so until she sees something else she wants. Then she's back at it again. Knowing that we are not just going to buy it for her has helped alot and she is more willing to help out around the house.

GTOgirl1969

I tend to agree with your husband. I don't believe that kids should be paid to do stuff that they SHOULD be doing anyway...but if he is doing extra chores like raking the lawn or cleaning the bathroom, a reward is OK. Every family is different...if it works for your son, stick with it!

Quenofcrazzy

First..it is a commission for work done, not an allowance cause then it is something he just gets, not earns.
Second, my kids started when they were little, and still do this today at 9, 12, and 15. They have things that have to do because they are a part of this family. Basically that means they keep their room clean, bed made daily, their laundry done and one household chore( putting dishes away, washing dishes and picking up dog poop). For this they do not get paid.
There is a list of chores that are up for payment. Each kid is allowed to pick what they want to do and I pay $1 per week per chore. I allow each child to have as many chores as half their age..so the 9 year old can have 4 chores. This them comes out to $4 per week if everything is completed without me having to tell them, or then having attitude about doing the chore they picked out.
Then..to teach savings & giving..pay day is Friday. I call each child to the bank (the kitchen counter) and go over their list. Most of the time they get the full amount for the week unless something really nasty happened. I hand my son $4 and his 3 envelopes. The first envelope is Savings. He puts $1 in there. The next envelope is Giving. He puts $1 in there and the last $2 he can have..or if he is saving for something he really wants, he may put $2 into savings and only take $1 to spend. He HAS to put at least $1 in each envelope.

When we go to the store and he wants something, I tell him he can buy it if he wants to use his money. It is amazing how fast kids stop spending money on crap when it is their money being spent.

When he isn't actively saving for anything the chores off the list don't get taken as often, which is fine.

I look at it this way. No one pays me just cause I live in my house and take care of my stuff. I have to work for a living..and if I don't go to work, I don't get money. My kids will all know that if/when they want something, they have to go out and work for it. Nothing is free!!

Yes I am a mean parent!

greysweatshirt

First..it is a commission for work done, not an allowance cause then it is something he just gets, not earns.
Second, my kids started when they were little, and still do this today at 9, 12, and 15. They have things that have to do because they are a part of this family. Basically that means they keep their room clean, bed made daily, their laundry done and one household chore( putting dishes away, washing dishes and picking up dog poop). For this they do not get paid.
There is a list of chores that are up for payment. Each kid is allowed to pick what they want to do and I pay $1 per week per chore. I allow each child to have as many chores as half their age..so the 9 year old can have 4 chores. This them comes out to $4 per week if everything is completed without me having to tell them, or then having attitude about doing the chore they picked out.
Then..to teach savings & giving..pay day is Friday. I call each child to the bank (the kitchen counter) and go over their list. Most of the time they get the full amount for the week unless something really nasty happened. I hand my son $4 and his 3 envelopes. The first envelope is Savings. He puts $1 in there. The next envelope is Giving. He puts $1 in there and the last $2 he can have..or if he is saving for something he really wants, he may put $2 into savings and only take $1 to spend. He HAS to put at least $1 in each envelope.

When we go to the store and he wants something, I tell him he can buy it if he wants to use his money. It is amazing how fast kids stop spending money on crap when it is their money being spent.

When he isn't actively saving for anything the chores off the list don't get taken as often, which is fine.

I look at it this way. No one pays me just cause I live in my house and take care of my stuff. I have to work for a living..and if I don't go to work, I don't get money. My kids will all know that if/when they want something, they have to go out and work for it. Nothing is free!!

Yes I am a mean parent!

Wow! I really love your system! I'm not a parent yet, but I really like the idea of it a lot! One question, what is the "giving" envelope for?

IAM125lbs

First..it is a commission for work done, not an allowance cause then it is something he just gets, not earns.
Second, my kids started when they were little, and still do this today at 9, 12, and 15. They have things that have to do because they are a part of this family. Basically that means they keep their room clean, bed made daily, their laundry done and one household chore( putting dishes away, washing dishes and picking up dog poop). For this they do not get paid.
There is a list of chores that are up for payment. Each kid is allowed to pick what they want to do and I pay $1 per week per chore. I allow each child to have as many chores as half their age..so the 9 year old can have 4 chores. This them comes out to $4 per week if everything is completed without me having to tell them, or then having attitude about doing the chore they picked out.
Then..to teach savings & giving..pay day is Friday. I call each child to the bank (the kitchen counter) and go over their list. Most of the time they get the full amount for the week unless something really nasty happened. I hand my son $4 and his 3 envelopes. The first envelope is Savings. He puts $1 in there. The next envelope is Giving. He puts $1 in there and the last $2 he can have..or if he is saving for something he really wants, he may put $2 into savings and only take $1 to spend. He HAS to put at least $1 in each envelope.

When we go to the store and he wants something, I tell him he can buy it if he wants to use his money. It is amazing how fast kids stop spending money on crap when it is their money being spent.

When he isn't actively saving for anything the chores off the list don't get taken as often, which is fine.

I look at it this way. No one pays me just cause I live in my house and take care of my stuff. I have to work for a living..and if I don't go to work, I don't get money. My kids will all know that if/when they want something, they have to go out and work for it. Nothing is free!!

Yes I am a mean parent!

You are not mean just very wise!! I love your approach.

Quenofcrazzy

Wow! I really love your system! I'm not a parent yet, but I really like the idea of it a lot! One question, what is the "giving" envelope for?

I knew I forgot something..
We put $1 each week into the giving envelope at then at Christmas time we take the $52 and go buy presents for foster children. We have a Holiday Cottage here and each of my kids will pick a kids wish off of the tree and go shop for them. They then see their hard earned money building up..its ONLY $1 per week..and they get to do something good for a child in foster care.
They have done this for several years and is one of the highlights of the season for our family.

Whats cool is to watch my kids find things that they have or would like themselves and buy those things for other children. Simple things like a pair of sweats, a Cd player, a watch, a pair of shoes, computer speakers, etc.

2day4ever

I wouldn't go to work (even though I like it) if I wasn't getting paid. So, I figure a little payment in kind is fair for my kids. It really helps (esp with teens) for them to realize the value of a dollar (which, sadly, is not much anymore).

This is what we started when the kids started 1st grade (great time to do math with "allowance" b/c we put them in charge of figuring out the dollars and cents):

They receive their age in dollars each week
There is an incentive plan for them to save: whatever they saved at the end of the month, we matched 50% for their savings accounts
We buy school supplies, essential clothes, school fees, extra-curric fees; they bought all the "extras" that they just "had to have" -- LOL! (Amazing how the gotta have list was pretty small)
One dollar each week has to be given to a charity of their choice -- there are a lot of great local causes that they have supported over the years but a current fave is Susan Koman and also Save Darfur (I like that there is one domestic and one international . . . and they found those on their own!)

When they were younger (and it has been a long time since we have invoked this) we also reserved the right to withhold part of their allowance for things they DID NOT do ~ if they did not do chores or if there was bickering or whining, I reserved the right to post a fine. I usually made the fines pretty small (25 cents or 50 cents) but when you're getting a small amount anyway, any fine seemed like a lot.

I also gave out bonuses (but now that they get more money each week, I rarely do). If I saw a random act of kindness, sometimes (but not always) I would give them an extra 25 or 50 cents. I deliberately did not give out bonuses every time b/c I did not want the money to drive their kind behavior exclusively. But they (and I) liked being surprised with an extra bonus along with my huge compliments. (BTW: if they ASKED for a bonus for something, that was an automatic "not going to get it" from me . . .)

So, anyway, I agree with you. I think giving kids the "right" incentive can really help with coaching them to work for the things they want and also learn responsibility along the way. For some kids, that incentive is money. For others, it isn't.

I am happy to report that I will soon have 3 Eagle Scouts so even though I might have used money to get them started on why it matters to do good work, I now think it is just part of who they are.

Good luck! Parenting is not for the faint of heart -- LOL!:happy:

jlwhelan1

Each child gets a base $2 a week allowance. Then they can earn money at $2 an hour doing "extra chores". This works out to $0.50 for 15 minutes. My oldest is good about doing chores and earning, the youngest not so much.

They get fined $0.25 for arguing, throwing fits, being mean to each other, etc. This really helps their behavior.

If they don't do a job that they are supposed to do as a matter of course (i.e. clear their dishes from the table at the end of a meal) I offer to do it for $0.25 pay. (LOL, that usually gets them to do it quickly)

If there are "big" jobs that I know will be difficult then I assign a higher dollar value and impose a time frame. For example, my daughter is very sensitive and a bit of a pack rat. While she was visiting my parents this summer we cleaned and decluttered her room. There were 7 boxes of stuff to go through (toys, compositions, art, random junk.) I told her I would pay her $5 per box and she had three months to do it. Then I would do it and get rid of everything. She did it all within 2 hours, and the $35 was well worth the lack of hassle and waterworks and hysteria. The bonus is two boxes of junk was trashed/recycled and three boxes of toys are going to a charity. She feels great about giving away, has a little stash for something big when she needs something, and I am not the big meanie for throwing out her treasures.

I forgot to add that we pay them weekly on Saturday morning. I tally their accounts and pay them. The fines given throughout the week are immediate and not saved until pay day.

Zeii

My son is also 8 years old and I pay him $2 a week. He takes out the garbage, cleans the kitty litter, unloads the dishwasher, cleans his room, vacuums, etc. Sometimes he'll wash the kitchen/diningroom floors on his hands and knees for extra money.

But I also make him buy his own Wii games, extra toys, etc. with that money. I'm teaching him to be responsible.

LML79

Boy I'm starting to think maybe "mom" ( me) should get an allowance LOL!!!