Need some help being understanding.

Painten

My sister has a lot less to lose than me. She is a lot slimmer. When i look at her, to me she looks fine. I'd be ecstatic to be even close to her weight, however i know she is struggling to lose. She has been battling with the same 6lb for months now. On off, on off. For us bigger people we have to realise if we eat clean we can lose more easier. For every lb i lose my sister must lose 1 oz or something like. She is on here and she sees my calories burned and when she logs hers she doesn't have half the burn for more work.

Really you just have to realise that actually it's as hard for slimmer people to lose weight as it is for us bigger people, just in different ways, and just because she has less to lose doesn't mean it's less of an issue for her than it is for you.

foodforfuel

Having lost a lot of weight in the past, I can tell you that the last 5-10 pounds were they absolute hardest for me to lose. It took an incredible amount of focus and discipline. To me it is very comparable to how hard it is to make the commitment to the lifestylye change and discipline needed when you first start out with a long way to go. I've been in both places, and they are equally as hard, yet different. As long as she isn't doing anything to harm herself, she probably needs a sounding board just as much as you do! And friends do that for each other.

crazycat828

Try to be patient with her. Remember you're both just trying to better yourselves and are making healthy choices. I don't think she's trying to downplay your efforts. Maybe she just wants to share something you both have in common to talk about..

Breckgirl

Thank you all for your wisdom and input. This site is the best only because of the wonderful people on it...YOU ROCK!!!

BflSaberfan

I have the opposite perspective. My friend and I started losing weight around the same time. She wanted to lose what I wanted to weigh. I have 10lbs to go to my goal, and she has about 80. She is extremely unsupportive of my weight loss because as she said it "I wish I had your problem". When I look in the mirror I dont think - well at least its only 10 and not 100. I SEE and FEEL that 10lbs and its as much of a struggle for me as it is for her to not like what you see in the mirror. I have never bragged about my weight to her, I have only been encouraging and supportive and the last time we discussed our weight loss journey she was down right rude when I told her the scale hadn't budged for me in weeks.

Just remember there will always be people that have more to lose than you do, and there will always people who have less....but our daily choices and decisions are all based on the same motivation and will power.

astovey

I understand. I have a friend that just ran a marathon...like 26 miles. She calls women that weight 150 "heavy"....my goal is 145 :-/
She complains about her weight and going to the gym etc.....sometimes I just think she doesn't understand what it feels like to be as big as most people are...all of us fatties over 150. But at the same time, I think most women aren't happy with their body no matter what size they are so I try to be understanding.

MinnieInMaine

It's totally a perspective thing. When I started last year, I was in the same boat as the OP - 100 pounds to lose and most of my friends are skinny but are always talking about "feeling fat" or wanting to lose a few pounds. At first I did feel like "if you're fat, what does that make me?" and think I even said it to my closest friends. Thing is, they're kind of like my DH and don't necessarily see how heavy I am because they love me and see that I'm still active and happy. Anyway, after some soul searching, I realized that it's all about how we feel about ourselves. Many women say "I feel fat" when they really mean "I'm so bloated today" or "I wish my thighs weren't so flabby" or even "I hate my outfit today". It's a generic self-insult that's easy to toss around. I learned to ignore it at face value and know in my head that they don't really think they're obese, just not feeling so self-secure.

In the end, I let those friends see themselves as heavy if they chose to and teamed up with one or two of them as part of this journey. Sure they only have 10 pounds to lose while I have about 40 pounds left to lose but we're all really in the same boat together...trying to eat right and be fit. Might as well look at it in a posibitive light, support them and get their support as well!

Breckgirl

I understand. I have a friend that just ran a marathon...like 26 miles. She calls women that weight 150 "heavy"....my goal is 145 :-/
She complains about her weight and going to the gym etc.....sometimes I just think she doesn't understand what it feels like to be as big as most people are...all of us fatties over 150. But at the same time, I think most women aren't happy with their body no matter what size they are so I try to be understanding.

See, I've never been that person. I was bone thin through age 32...I even had to gain weight to join the Air Force. I never paid much attention to my body or anyone elses body for that matter. The only thing I didn't like was my boobs, but then most women aren't happy with thoses, so I didn't worry. So I don't understand people that are thin or at a good weight being unhappy with their bodies. It just seems petti to me. Maybe it was because I grew up with a next door neighbor who lost an arm in a combine. It's makes you look at life differently.

raven1114

i know people like that and yes it is aggravating. i honestly just try to avoid people like that or at least try to avoid the subject of dieting with them.