Why do people say stupid things!

janetbr

My husband and I along with my DIL and grandson went to my in-laws yesterday to celebrate their wedding anniversary. My MIL has been very sick with an overactive thyroid issue. She weighed about 180 lbs before getting sick and has lost 47 lbs. We have always been very close and always have gotten along well. Yesterday when I walked in I said "my MIL you're skinny". She came back with "my DIL you're fat". I thought I was paying her a compliment and didn't expect her response. I was very hurt by the comment. She felt bad all day for what she said and called to aplogize, but I'm still hurt my it. However, it did make me choose healthy stuff for breakfast this morning. :ohwell:

janetbr

My husband and I along with my DIL and grandson went to my in-laws yesterday to celebrate their wedding anniversary. My MIL has been very sick with an overactive thyroid issue. She weighed about 180 lbs before getting sick and has lost 47 lbs. We have always been very close and always have gotten along well. Yesterday when I walked in I said "my MIL you're skinny". She came back with "my DIL you're fat". I thought I was paying her a compliment and didn't expect her response. I was very hurt by the comment. She felt bad all day for what she said and called to aplogize, but I'm still hurt my it. However, it did make me choose healthy stuff for breakfast this morning. :ohwell:

Juliebean

That is awful! I can't believe that she would say something like that! :noway:

I'm wondering if maybe she's taking some form of medication that causes her to behave completely inappropriately and forget her manners...? :grumble: Just think, you can fix the fact that you're "fat" (which you're not, by any means!) but she can't fix the fact that she's rude.

elliott062907

So sorry sweetie, been there done that.
I was pushing 300 lbs about 5 years ago.
Then I went to 238 lbs
Then 200.

I was so excited to be from a size 22 to a 14.

I saw my adopted granny after all the weight loss and she said, "well, you still have a long way to go".

I let that bother me so bad.

But ya know what, no more......

You can forgive, but never forget!!!!

shkaki

sorry for what happend! I do know that for people who do not choose to be skinny and would like to be bigger feel that being called "skinny" is just as hurtful as someone who's always been larger and wanted to be smaller being called "fat". My younger sister has always been built really really skinny. She's 23, has always eaten whatever she wants whenever she wants shes 5'6" and weight maybe 110lbs soaking wet. She can't keep weight on, and HATES being called skinny. Its hard for those of us who have always wanted to be classified as "skinny" to even imagine it being taken as an insult, but it is just the same as a larger person being called "fat".

I hope that you two can work it out and that it doesnt put a strain on your relationship. I think that if you guys talked it out and explained that you were trying to give her a compliment and..so on you'll be fine!!!

elliott062907

That is awful! I can't believe that she would say something like that! :noway:

I'm wondering if maybe she's taking some form of medication that causes her to behave completely inappropriately and forget her manners...? :grumble: Just think, you can fix the fact that you're "fat" (which you're not, by any means!) but she can't fix the fact that she's rude.

I have a friend who's wife is recovering from Thyroid cancer. She is the same way. The meds she is taking just causes her to fly off the handle and be really mean.

That may be the problem as well.....

JennyBanker

not to start controversy but like you said she has been sick so maybe your comment to her was rude also. have you apolohies for what you said to her. No one like to be reminded about being sick.

BrenNew

That's awful! I'm so sorry that she hurt you like that! It DOES hurt, and if you're anything like me, you WON'T ever forget that hurt either!
In my case, my husband's aunt stopped by unexpectedly last year, and I hadn't seen her in years. She came into my house and proceed to say "WHAT HAPPENED!" I said "what?" and then she said something like "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU'VE GAINED A TON OF WEIGHT!" So then I told her that I had a thyroid problem. I was sooooo hurt inside though that she'd even brought up my weight. I know that if I ever saw someone who'd gained a lot, I certainly would NEVER have been so rude as to even bring it up at all! But even after I mentioned a thyroid problem, the woman kept on, saying stuff like "WOW, I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE HOW HUGE YOU ARE! THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU, YOU WERE WEARING A BIKINI, AND NOW LOOK AT YOU!!!" ( I wore a two piece ONCE in my whole life, when I got down to a size 8 between husbands!)
I was so damn hurt, and just kinda sat there with her and my husband, looking normal on the outside, but dying inside. She just couldn't shut up, she just kept saying stuff that about killed me! As soon as she left, I called her sister, who's my husband's mother, and told her how unbelievably rude and horrible her sister was, and that I would NEVER, EVER forgive her for all that she'd said to me!
My husband says I need to get over it, but, the one time since that day that I COULD have talked to her, I wouldn't! And if I can help it, I'll continue to have nothing to do with her. And if SHE presses it and comes to me, I think that NOW I'm strong enough that I'll tell her EXACTLY how much her RUDE, horrible words hurt me!
I guess you'll have to do the same with your MIL too, if you feel as strongly about being hurt as I did!
Sorry for going on and on, but your being hurt brought all MY hurt back!

Phoenix_Rising

Can I just be a total *itch here and say that there is a REASON Mother-in-laws SUCK.:mad:
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Her comment was OUT OF LINE.



EDIT-- Unless there is a medication issue, in which case, she was still out of line, but possibly unable to control her anger and her mouth. I was on a medication once that made me psycho and I honestly couldn't control my emotions or the toxic spew that came out of my mouth. After one week, I quit that med. I could not live with those side effects.