why do some over weight people put others down?

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blackdragonclare
blackdragonclare Posts: 91
in Motivation and Support
Was just wondering as someone very close to me who weighs about 300lb keeps making jokes about my weight and counts everything I eat. if I eat anything like chocolate they won't let it drop. it really winds me up as they don't seem to even notice what they eat and if I dare to joke back at them they sulk for hours.

I just don't get it does anyone know how someone who obviously knows how little digs about weight hurt cam say them ti someone elseespecially someone they are ment to care about.I don't know how to deal with it and as some of you might know I have a real problem with food and rarely ever eat my daily allowance so someone jumping down my throat at every opertunity doesn't help :(

sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant lol. oh and I have tried talking about it.

Replies

  • sarahbear1981
    sarahbear1981 Posts: 610 Member
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    This person is clearly insecure with themselves and apparently feels better when they attack you, or they wouldn't continue to do it. I would kindly tell them that what you eat and how you look is none of their business. next time they do it, point it out right then and there. Say "You know I am struggling with my weight issues and when you treat me like this it really hurts. if you love me try encouraging me instead." or something like that. if they don't quit, get a new friend who respects you for who you are on the inside.
  • Charger440
    Charger440 Posts: 1,474 Member
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    I'm not sure how much if any use it would be to you but it really sounds like the person is picking on you because they don't feel good about themselves....maybe someone more enlightened could add to what I'm trying to say......


    Yea, what she said ^^^^^^........
  • nickyevans
    nickyevans Posts: 216 Member
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    Because it is easier to put you down than face the fact that they have a problem. My ex husband used to regularly criticise my management skills and point out that he was a manager and I was only a team lead. It made no difference that I got paid £15,000 more than him a year. Twice he has been fired from his management position for being unable to perform the job! I have just moved out of my team lead role for a better job. It was much easier for him to pick on me than for him to admit he wasn't really cut out for management! He could never understand why I divorced him.....
  • silkystarfish
    silkystarfish Posts: 30
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    I do think your friend is jelous you are loosing weight and they cant, or dont have the motivation.
  • chattygirl2
    chattygirl2 Posts: 103
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    This sounds like pure jealousy to me! They don't like the fact that you are trying to take back your life. They are just trying to discourage you. Next time tell them.. "Don't get mad at me because I want to look and feel better!" And so what if they sulk! They are making you feel so bad your calling out to strangers! Who will become your friends, that give you strength and encouragement in the long run.
    Please don't feel badly about ranting, this is what this place is for! :)

    Keep up the good work!

    Gina
  • wenders123
    wenders123 Posts: 338 Member
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    I would ask them the question as you have put it to us. And then explain how it makes you feel. And as the other lady said, I would not worry if they sulk - they obviously don't care how you feel when they put you down. Sometimes a little bit of their own medicine may cure the problem!
  • fuzzymel
    fuzzymel Posts: 400 Member
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    Tell her you don't like her comments. If she continues then you need to seriously consider if she is a friend worth having.
  • becka63
    becka63 Posts: 712 Member
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    Oh dear, that's never helpful.:frown:

    You say that you've tried talking about it, did this person contribute to the talk or go into their sulk mode? Could their constant criticisms be a 'cry for help' (as some have suggested) and perhaps they are wanting you to invite them to lose weight with you?

    You say it's someone close to you and others have suggested that you don't spend time with them if they're negative and critical of you, but I'm wondering if they are a family member and this isn't possible? Would showing them this thread help to understand how you feel?

    Maybe the easiest thing to do, is to smile sweetly and say "it's a chocolate, but my scale is still moving in the right direction" and leave it at that - your ticker shows you've lost weight, which is excellent and shows you are doing the right things, so take heart from that!
  • shandy32
    shandy32 Posts: 193 Member
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    Yep i agree with everyone else. this person is picking on you because of there own insecurities. Tell them to back off and because of there comments and to look at there own issuses before commenting on anyone elses. xxx
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    if they start it I snap right back. "what did you say? I can't hear you with all that jiggling sound your fat is making." :bigsmile:

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