Children with autism???

Theresa35

Hi Everyone,

I recently found out from one of my closest friends that her 2 year old was diagnosed as autistic. As her friend, I want to support and encourage her, but am at a loss on how to do so. Any suggestions from those of you who are also the parents of or a friend of an autistic child???

Thanks and many blessings...

Theresa35

Hi Everyone,

I recently found out from one of my closest friends that her 2 year old was diagnosed as autistic. As her friend, I want to support and encourage her, but am at a loss on how to do so. Any suggestions from those of you who are also the parents of or a friend of an autistic child???

Thanks and many blessings...

busymoma

good day.

My son is 2.5 and we found out he has autism this year in april. Do a little homework so you sorta know about autism and then just be there to listen. She has been hit with a ton of bricks and it takes time to dig your way out from that.

Steff

caseynjason

This certainly caught my eye. My son was diagnosed at 2 years old as well. He is 3 1/2 now and doing so well. There is so much out there now in regards for treatment for autism. First of all, tell her that you are so proud of her for knowing that something was not right with her child and getting the proper diagnosis, because early intervention is the key to his recovery. Don't let anyone tell her that he cannot recover, because he can. Mild or severe, you can bring them back into our world.

I could write a novel about my journey, but to keep it simple, if she hasn't already, have her contact her early intervention in the area (mine is called First Steps) it is where they come to your home and help with speech, occupational therapy, etc. It is free and it will pay for the most important therapy, ABA. ABA is applied behavior analysis and it uses behavioral modification to change the screwed up wiring going on in their heads and helps them to focus outwardly instead of inward.

My son is only 3 and 1/2 now and he is acting like a typical 3 year old. His speech is still a little behind, and he has a few emotional outbursts once in a while if something isn't right (what toddler doesn't), and according to specialists, he will recover (escape his diagnosis). I thank ABA for this, it is amazing. In the beginning, we were losing him (lost language, everything made him scream and cry, he wouldn't play, only watch movies) lots more, but this morning as I am typing this he is chasing his sisters and playing "supers" while wearing a cape and holding a wooden spoon. If that isn't a road to recovery, I don't know what is.

Again, the most important is get the right therapy for her child, and in my opinion, ABA should be a serious thought. The early the better. It gets harder to recover the older the diagnosis.
Good luck and you are being a great friend!

mechanicmom

My son is two and a half and we found out in February that he is austitic. My first advice for your friend is to get her child on a gluten free/casein free diet. It goes beyond milk and wheat. It is very overwhelming at first but we saw a huge change in my son just after a week of being on that diet. It has been a huge help! She can also email me if she has questions. I don't know everything but I would like to be supportive and helpful in any way that I can. If she wants to email me just send my a private message and I will send you my email! :happy: Also a cookbook called The Kid-friendly ADHD and Autism Cookbook is great! I absolutely love it! There are lots of things she can do but definitely start with the diet and see if that helps. See if there is a state program that helps with delays or early childhood intervention. Therapy helps a whole lot. If you need more help, let me know. :flowerforyou:

Theresa35

This certainly caught my eye. My son was diagnosed at 2 years old as well. He is 3 1/2 now and doing so well. There is so much out there now in regards for treatment for autism. First of all, tell her that you are so proud of her for knowing that something was not right with her child and getting the proper diagnosis, because early intervention is the key to his recovery. Don't let anyone tell her that he cannot recover, because he can. Mild or severe, you can bring them back into our world.

I could write a novel about my journey, but to keep it simple, if she hasn't already, have her contact her early intervention in the area (mine is called First Steps) it is where they come to your home and help with speech, occupational therapy, etc. It is free and it will pay for the most important therapy, ABA. ABA is applied behavior analysis and it uses behavioral modification to change the screwed up wiring going on in their heads and helps them to focus outwardly instead of inward.

My son is only 3 and 1/2 now and he is acting like a typical 3 year old. His speech is still a little behind, and he has a few emotional outbursts once in a while if something isn't right (what toddler doesn't), and according to specialists, he will recover (escape his diagnosis). I thank ABA for this, it is amazing. In the beginning, we were losing him (lost language, everything made him scream and cry, he wouldn't play, only watch movies) lots more, but this morning as I am typing this he is chasing his sisters and playing "supers" while wearing a cape and holding a wooden spoon. If that isn't a road to recovery, I don't know what is.

Again, the most important is get the right therapy for her child, and in my opinion, ABA should be a serious thought. The early the better. It gets harder to recover the older the diagnosis.
Good luck and you are being a great friend!

Hi Casey,

Thank you for your encouraging words. They are on the First Steps program and began when he was around a year old. He currently has 8 therapy sessions a week, wears glasses, has hearing aids, reconizes simple sign language, and he walks. His speech is the most behind. He has a very pleasant personality and three older siblings to engage him in activities and in life.

My friend is just overwhelmed right now with just getting the news. Unfortunately she is worrying about everything under the sun for the rest of everyone's lives. We are very close and I don't want my ignorence of the situation or my opinions hurt our friendship. I do not know how she feels and I never will. And while I want to give her some time to grieve this discovery, I want her to see the hope also.

Thanks again!

Theresa35

Thanks so much to everyone who has replied so far. I will begin my study on this and continue to listen and be supportive. :flowerforyou:

ali106

awww hugs to your friends and to my fellow parents and family of beautiful kids on the spectrum!!!

My precious boy is 7, and was diagnosed w/ PDD/NOS at 29 mths...its been a long journey...one that at times I wished we didn't have to take...but at other times I'm glad we did because its taught me to appreciate everything....and that being different is not bad, its just different.....

I learned early on that this diagnosis my son has did not change the wonderful, loving, full of life little boy he was prior to the diagnoses...it only helped me get services that helped him sooo much!

I am going to Private message you a few support groups I co manage if your friend is interested its fulled of moms and dads like her...and a wealth of support and advice and knowledge....

Right now, I'm thinking she is going through a really hard time, getting the diagnosis is one of the hardest things I've ever been through....so just be there for her, support her, and educate yourself on Autism...I think this is something everyone should do as it does effect 1 our of every 150 child....I also think you are an amazing friend who wants to help....she will need amazing friends believe me!

big hugs to you both! thinking and praying for her and her family!
Ali :flowerforyou:

I always say, Autism is not the end of the world, just the beginning of a new one!

Theresa35

awww hugs to your friends and to my fellow parents and family of beautiful kids on the spectrum!!!

My precious boy is 7, and was diagnosed w/ PDD/NOS at 29 mths...its been a long journey...one that at times I wished we didn't have to take...but at other times I'm glad we did because its taught me to appreciate everything....and that being different is not bad, its just different.....

I learned early on that this diagnosis my son has did not change the wonderful, loving, full of life little boy he was prior to the diagnoses...it only helped me get services that helped him sooo much!

I am going to Private message you a few support groups I co manage if your friend is interested its fulled of moms and dads like her...and a wealth of support and advice and knowledge....

Right now, I'm thinking she is going through a really hard time, getting the diagnosis is one of the hardest things I've ever been through....so just be there for her, support her, and educate yourself on Autism...I think this is something everyone should do as it does effect 1 our of every 150 child....I also think you are an amazing friend who wants to help....she will need amazing friends believe me!

big hugs to you both! thinking and praying for her and her family!
Ali :flowerforyou:

I always say, Autism is not the end of the world, just the beginning of a new one!

Ali, thanks for your wonderful words and for your prayers. She really is feeling dumped on right now, very overwhelmed and very angry.

sculley

There is so much online about this. My son was diagnosed a year ago with PDD-NOS which is a form of autism. There is GFCF diet that she should look in to. All you can do is be there for her, it's a very traumatizing experience when you first find out and she will be taking her lil one to alot of therapies, evaluations and will be burned out. Remind her that only god gives parents special needs children when they too are special themselves I feel blessed that god has given me Rion I can't imagine if he were with parents that weren't as loving or "for their child". She is stronger than she knows and she will sometimes feel like she isn't ............just be a motivating spiritual friend for her, just the fact that you are inquiring about it shows just how much you care. There are so many people on here that have experienced this as well I am sure everyone will agree with me when I say email me if you have any questions I could point you to the right site if i dont have the answer. Tell her there is a light at the end of hte tunnel a year ago my son was only saying bye and hi....now he has a huge vocab and even though it's not perfect it's better than the jargon and whining that was a year ago.
It will be ok

hugs
Audumn

jenken99

This certainly caught my eye. My son was diagnosed at 2 years old as well. He is 3 1/2 now and doing so well. There is so much out there now in regards for treatment for autism. First of all, tell her that you are so proud of her for knowing that something was not right with her child and getting the proper diagnosis, because early intervention is the key to his recovery. Don't let anyone tell her that he cannot recover, because he can. Mild or severe, you can bring them back into our world.

I could write a novel about my journey, but to keep it simple, if she hasn't already, have her contact her early intervention in the area (mine is called First Steps) it is where they come to your home and help with speech, occupational therapy, etc. It is free and it will pay for the most important therapy, ABA. ABA is applied behavior analysis and it uses behavioral modification to change the screwed up wiring going on in their heads and helps them to focus outwardly instead of inward.

My son is only 3 and 1/2 now and he is acting like a typical 3 year old. His speech is still a little behind, and he has a few emotional outbursts once in a while if something isn't right (what toddler doesn't), and according to specialists, he will recover (escape his diagnosis). I thank ABA for this, it is amazing. In the beginning, we were losing him (lost language, everything made him scream and cry, he wouldn't play, only watch movies) lots more, but this morning as I am typing this he is chasing his sisters and playing "supers" while wearing a cape and holding a wooden spoon. If that isn't a road to recovery, I don't know what is.

Again, the most important is get the right therapy for her child, and in my opinion, ABA should be a serious thought. The early the better. It gets harder to recover the older the diagnosis.
Good luck and you are being a great friend!

i do not believe autism can be cured!!! it can be helped with some help ,, but neveer cured, my son is aspergers, and he is in speech therapy he is not cured,
u have to have alot of patients and definetly work with the schools!!!!

couldridge

The best advice is to be the best friend you can possibly be. A shoulder to cry on, a sounding board to vent to. There is a lot of heartache and frustration, but there is also a l ot of joy. My son is 8 and has autism and seizures and he has taught me so much about life. You really learn to not sweat the small stuff in life and when you hear other people complaining about their "problems" you think to yourself, if that was all I had to worry about life would be easy. But then again everything in life is relative and if I didn't have a child with a disability, I'd probably be complaining about the small stuff too.

Advice on the "system" and "school". Find out everything you may have access through your local agencies. Possibly SSI, Medicaid, etc. We have never qualified for SSI because of the income level in the household but our state gives all kids with disabilities Medicaid. If you have a primary insurance, Medicaid will pick up the rest and anything the primary insurer may not cover. They don't like a lot of the "newer" therapies for autism. Also, I had testing done through Great Plains Lab, it was pricey but worth the info received. They test blood, urine, poop, and hair for all kinds of things. We did find out that my son had definite food allergies. The GFCF diet we heard so much about was not necessary with my son only Dairy Free and that was found out through the testing.

With the school systems. Never put blind faith into the system, even when you like the staff working with your child. At certain spots along the way they always try to decrease therapy time and it's really based on case loads not what's in your child's best interest. You are your child's best advocate and you have to create the vision for the future of your child. Always strive for maximum independence. It's hard to think about my son when he's 13, 17, 25 etc., but it keeps me motivated in what I want him to be able to accomplish. I do not know if my son could ever live independently, it's too early to say still and it does keep me awake at night but I know that everything he can do inpendently, no matter how delayed the skill may come, puts him a step closer to taking care of himself.

Good luck to you and your friend and good luck with the weight loss!!

AC:wink

A garden is not made by sitting in the shade---Rudyard Kipling

alf1163

As you have noticed already by all the posts, your friend is not alone. That, in a way, should be encouraging. There is so much information out there and so many services now available that it can be overwhelming at times. The best thing she could do is to try to get involved with a local support group so she can start meeting with other parents and learn about local resources. Someone mentioned ABA, that is fantastic. She can do some research on her own and choose therapies that will suit her child and her family. I suggest that she tries one thing at a time. I see a lot of parents trying different therapies, diets, vitamins, etc at the same time and if they see improvement they don't know what they attribute it to. I know parents can get desperate and want to try everything to help their children but it is best to try methods one at time, especially if it involves nutritional supplements, etc.

My son is 15 yrs old and is low functioning. His main problem is speech and he has also been diagnosed with mild mental retardation. The autism spectrum is huge. Not all children are alike and some might benefit from some therapies while others will not. You are a great friend for seeking help to offer support. I know it is shocking in the beginning, but her son will do great. The main thing is to be the best advocate she can be for her child especially with the school system.

Best of luck!!! Hugs :flowerforyou:

caseynjason

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i do not believe autism can be cured!!! it can be helped with some help ,, but neveer cured, my son is aspergers, and he is in speech therapy he is not cured,
u have to have alot of patients and definetly work with the schools!!!!

I didn't say cured, I said recovered. And yes, some of these children can recover. With therapy and lots of love, each child and grow to their true potential. If that is to be eventually tested out of the spectrum, then they will be. Never lose hope or become bitter. I was going to ignore this, but I couldn't.

jenken99

no i believe i am not bitter, i have done everything for my child , the behavior ,speech clases at age two and then ppi clases for 2 more years, and after that he has had speech therapy and so on, on top of going to ann arbor to see a behavior specialist,,, we have done everything, the only thing i have seen with him going and spending time at my exhusbands house where there is alot of children he has played a little more with kids than by himself,,

ali106

just want to say that like anyone, any child that no two children on the spectrum are alike....some things work for some, some things work for others....I have friends w/ kids on all levels of the spectrum, asperger's, pdd/nos, mild, moderate, severe....and some w/ lovely add ons like bipolar, cp, adhd ocd etc....and so far to my knowledge and I've been living in ASD land for awhile now...lol what works for one may not work for another....

its all trial and error and more trial ....Like w/ me ....my son has pdd/nos...he's verbal not conversational, easy going and very social....he just doesn't like to talk...he'd rather laugh and be silly and climb and play and be spider man.....with him I want to try the GF/CF diet w/ my guy, but I know it will be really hard as he's older now...still I feel I need to try it....I have a friend who tried it for 9 mths w/ her son, same age, and dx...didn't work, no change at all so she stopped...still I will try....you just never know! I have plenty of friends who have tried it w/ great response in their children, some after a few months on it....so I have my hopes up but I won't get deflated it is not exactly what I expect ya know....

Therapy works though, again its just trial and error finding what works best for your child....my guy does well w/ aba....but we mix it up to meet his needs, lots of roughhousing and play in between sessions.....anyway I could go on and on as I'm sure all you wonderful wonderful WONDERFUL parents could.....

And as different as we and our children are....we are also very much the same....same fears, same sort of challanges....same hope!!! same appreciation for these remarkable children of ours !!!

Okay that's all I wanted to say....big group hugs!!!!
Ali :flowerforyou:

presariofaded

My 3 younger siblings all have Autism. So my advice for you to tell her is "Never Give Up!"
It is pretty hard dealing with an autistic child, believe me, I was the babysitter when I was 8 but everyone needs love

There is this program/building called Fraiser, I'm not sure if it is just in Minneapolis or all over but boy was it a life-saver for my dad. It is a pre-school/ daycare for special needs kids. It helped my siblings transition into elementary school and taught them basic stuff that my dad couldn't teach them. (ABCs and numbers) Maybe reccomend it to her? Or some other program like this one. My siblings started when they were around 3 but I think you can join whenever. My family was in the magazine one year. My brother and I were on the cover. lol

about my siblings;
Laura (13) is doing well. She was diagnosed at 4 since she hadn't started talking yet. (but now she won't stop talking lol) She pretty much passes for "normal" except when she gets shy, angry or sad. She isn't good with dealing with negative comments. She freaks out and remembers everything bad and blames herself. That doesn't happen as much as it used to though. She also gets obsessed with stuff pretty easily, not as much anymore, but i remember when she was younger there was this tiny plastic hippo that she played with ALL THE TIME and then she lost it and it seemed like her whole world was comign to an end. Thank goodness we found it but now she obsessed with her DS. She is taking classes at school for special needs kids to help them transtion into a job.
Jacob (11) also has hydrocelalis. He has pretty severe autism but he is super smart. He can figure out anything. (Like how to work our new VCR/DVD in less than a minute) He has a really really high reading level. He doesn't talk socially much. He repeats lines from Disney movies. He also likes to watch the credits while dancing and jumping all over the place. He used to scream a lot when he didn't get his way but he is doing better now. He used to never communicate his needs but I found out how. I asked him, "What does Jacob want?" Ta-da! Jacob now communicates his needs! We used to ask, "What do YOU want?" But I guess he hadn't grasped the concept of "you" yet. Anyway he lives in a group home now. (With two or three other special needs kids and there is staff there 24/7) My dad chose to put him in there because he was "too difficult" but my dad is just a selfish jerk. He won't even call! :noway: Jacob comes over every few months.
Joshua (11) he is a pretty typical annoying younger brother. He also has ADHD. He is pretty smart but doesn't try in school. Not very good at social stuff. Still has a mindset of a 5 year old. Fun to joke around with though. lol.


so i hope this helps some! :flowerforyou:

Theresa35

Continued thanks for everyone's support and helpful ideas. The one thing that seems to be standing out the most to me is how very different each of these children can be and that they is not way to put it into a cookie cutter diagnosis or in any way try to predict and compare and two children who are diagnosed with "autism", it's just too vast. My friend and I are busy with vacation bible school this week and that has helped to at least take her mind from constantly being in worry. Also, this year at vbs, we have 4 special needs children attending. We have never had one in the past. My friend has talked with all of the parents and has learned and found comfort and help from these people. It is such a blessing and God is so at work in my friend, our vbs, and all of us really. It is amazing to watch it unfold.

Thanks again and much love to each one of you!!!