Newish relationship preventing weightloss

janiedoe111

When I am in relationships I seem to eat less healthy and not workout as diligently. Please send me any thoughts, suggestions or recommendations you have for staying on track, especially with eating when it comes to relationships.

Thank you!

ambrosij

I think that is a personal choice and you may be using a relationship as a scape goat. While your evenings may be consumed with building and developing that relationship there is still plenty of time early in the morning (like 4:30-6:30 am) for workouts. Also, what you choose to order off a menu or put in your mouth is really a personal choice. Even when eating fast food there are better choices and worse choices. Also, if your desire is to live in a healthy lifestyle and that is important to you then you should tell that person your are in relationship with that healthy living is part of your life; as it should be his if things ever get serious and you want to maintain that healthy lifestyle...if not it will always be an uphill battle.

taiyola

I find that whenever I'm with friends or whatever, I find it harder to eat good and work-out. Weekends I'm usually not at home much, so I eat crap.

How often are you with your partner? Maybe do activities together that give a little burn. Ice skating, shopping, bowling etc. You could have them over for a romantic night in and make a healthier version of a dish you both like

DarkAngel864

Hmm, you have to be serious about weight loss to accomplish it, though I'm sure you know that. Perhaps you could tell the person you're dating about your new journey and encourage them to help or join in. Instead of going to dinner together, take a hike together. Or instead of going out to eat at TGIFridays and eating all things fried, look up a cool new restaurant that is a healthier choice that neither of you have been to!

Hope this helps! You can do this

NanBar

Only YOU have control over your actions.

audjrey

Either find someone who supports you in your goals or live alone. That's my advice.

However, that said, you might be with someone who is supportive but you yourself might be using your relationship as an excuse to not workout and eat healthy (self-sabotage).

I've been married almost 12 years to a man who is a junk-food-a-holic vegetarian. I am vegan. Yet in no way do I allow his eating habits affect mine, no matter how much I love him.

My strength is for me first. My food choices are mine. I alone decide what I put in my mouth. I am the master of my vessel and commander of this ship. No one can force me to do anything I don't want to do.

Yet let's entertain the idea that this man might not support you in your food and exercise choices - is he really worth it? What's more important - you and your overall health and well-being, or some guy you just met?

SassyStef

I would tell the person you are in a relationship what your goals are and why....maybe they just dont understand, and ask for support. We all want plp around us to eat healthier and be fit esp. when we are but it often doesnt happen.
If they choose not to be supportive then maybe you should rethink if you want to be with them.
Dont let someone else steer you from you goal!!

I am married so my hubby has no choice lol I do the grocery shopping and by healthy and at first he was so unhappy but now he see my point. He has even started buying healthier choices and reading labels when he goes shopping lol good habits can rub off, be diligent and dont give up!!

Goal_Seeker_1988

Wow, you're like the total opposite of me! Being in a relationship totally gets me pumped up and makes me wanna eat healthier. I was so stoked when I started datin my fiance I basically starved myself in fear of not lookin good enough for him. You should use it as motivation, think bout it like if I exercise more then that'll boost my self confidence and help me lose the weight. It's all in the way you think. Some guys actually look @ the way you eat and if it don't seem like you care bout yourself then they make wonder if you care bout them. I'd so use it as motivation to wanna look better for my man.

00trayn

I admit I definitely fell into that trap when I started dating my boyfriend in October. We'd eat dinners out, I'd order a few beers, I didn't get a workout in on the weekend, etc. It's just a matter of prioritizing. I got myself back into gear in the last few months and learned to balance things better.

If you know you're going to go out on Saturday night, go to the gym after work on Friday and get a workout in Saturday morning. If you go to a bar, get light beer or diet coke with rum or vodka. When you eat out, choose a healthy option like fish or chicken instead of a calorie-heavy option. I've gotten my act together and I've still managed 5 days of working out a week despite dating. It also helps that we live far enough apart that I only see him on the weekends, and a rare weekday night.

fitniknik

Tell him what you are doing. Ask him If it would be ok to do grocery store runs instead of going out to eat. and then cooking for him!
just a thought

RNewton4269

Get the person you are in a relationship with to understand your weight loss and fitness needs can be tough. I have found that if you include them in your journey it is much easier. I have motivated my boyfriend to join me in eating healthier as well as exercise. Sometimes it works..sometimes it doesn't. But it is your choice ultimately what decisions you make.

abyt42

It's a challenge, particularly in the early stages...particularly eating out, since it's difficult not to appear high maintenance/overly particular if everything is "on the side" or "instead of bread, may I have steamed broccoli." My challenge was changing (or feeling bad if I needed to change) my behaviors as my relationship lengthened. I'd spent early days not being myself. 18 years later plus therapy, I feel like I'm actually me most of the time. It helps that I care less what other people think of me as I age, but that's a long term solution to an immediate question.

My husband and I, when we're on the same page, can be a force of nature. I wish we'd been on the same page about fitness and diet earlier, but now that we are, we're both much happier. And vrey long walks are good talking time for two perapatetic (?) teachers....

Talk about your goals. It might be awkward, but if the two of you are still in the "____ is SO interesting" phase, you'll probably get lots of support.

dalzinho

Surely in a new relationship you should be getting plenty of, er, vigorous exercise (to put it delicately)?

janiedoe111

I admit I definitely fell into that trap when I started dating my boyfriend in October. We'd eat dinners out, I'd order a few beers, I didn't get a workout in on the weekend, etc. It's just a matter of prioritizing. I got myself back into gear in the last few months and learned to balance things better.

If you know you're going to go out on Saturday night, go to the gym after work on Friday and get a workout in Saturday morning. If you go to a bar, get light beer or diet coke with rum or vodka. When you eat out, choose a healthy option like fish or chicken instead of a calorie-heavy option. I've gotten my act together and I've still managed 5 days of working out a week despite dating. It also helps that we live far enough apart that I only see him on the weekends, and a rare weekday night.

Thank you! This was the advice I was looking for. Thank you for being positive and affirming.

janiedoe111

It's a challenge, particularly in the early stages...particularly eating out, since it's difficult not to appear high maintenance/overly particular if everything is "on the side" or "instead of bread, may I have steamed broccoli." My challenge was changing (or feeling bad if I needed to change) my behaviors as my relationship lengthened. I'd spent early days not being myself. 18 years later plus therapy, I feel like I'm actually me most of the time. It helps that I care less what other people think of me as I age, but that's a long term solution to an immediate question.

My husband and I, when we're on the same page, can be a force of nature. I wish we'd been on the same page about fitness and diet earlier, but now that we are, we're both much happier. And vrey long walks are good talking time for two perapatetic (?) teachers....

Talk about your goals. It might be awkward, but if the two of you are still in the "____ is SO interesting" phase, you'll probably get lots of support.

You are wonderful! Thank you.

annacataldo

For me, I go out with my boyfriend, alot, and alot of times to a resturant of his choice. He is proud of me for eating healthy and supports me, but he still likes his "junk".. Just yesterday we went to Wendys... while he ordered his large fries, large coke, and a double cheeseburger with all the toppings, I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich with no mayo and instead of the fries that comes with meals by default I got the garden side salad with the fat free ranch. The ranch was only 50cal for the whole packet but i only used half of it (if that), and i only ate half of the bun instead of both sides. Instead of some big old pop loaded with sugar, I got the milk.

We go out alot, as I said. I try to avoid Mcdonalds because that was my weakness before (since its the only fast food resturant in my small town). But other than that, while hes at the bar drinking, I have a drink instead of 5, or dont drink at all and drink water. I look for caesar salads w/ dressing on the side and chicken sandwichs when we go out to different resturants that im not sure of what to get. We go out to mexican mostly and I order a chicken dish with rice, mushrooms and onions, not something fried. Chinese we did last week and I ordered a chicken dish with veggies and steamed rice instead of fried stuff. I usually save half my dish for leftovers for the following day when I order some big meal not only cuz i cant eat the full thing anymore, but then its half the calories and it could be like im eating out 2 days in a row instead of 1 which helps me not want to go out as much.

Try doing things that dont involve eating out if your willpower is really that weak where you cant order something somewhat healthy no matter where u go... Try going on a hike, or a walk around a park/lake.. try going to the beach and walking along enjoying the water... how about a picnic at a spot where u have to walk to and then best of all--you get to choose the food cuz u brought it... how about a romantic meal next to a fire (even if you dont have a fireplace, you could make a fire outside, or at a campground or beach or something like that)...

Losing weight, or being fit, is not something to be embarrassed about, so theres no need to worry about what he thinks or not.. I use to let a relationship be the reason I ate poorly, until I put on 85pounds during that relationship by getting whatever i wanted on nights out for several years.

Its not something that you even need to tell him if you dont feel like it... choosing healthy things at a resturant is an easy choice and doesnt have "im dieting" written all over it... my boyfriend is more impressed with me than ever, and is so proud of me for losing 15pounds (so far).

Liatush

In the same boat as OP... thanks for the great advice, all.