Is it wrong to change an otherwise awesome doctor solely bec

babytmarie27

:huh: I have been going back and forth about this for about a month. Im trying to decide if I should change doctors. I have recently become dedicated to getting in shape and becoming healthier. My doctor is significantly heavier than me and I find it awkward to mention my need for weightloss when she obviously needs to lose weight too. In addition, I have been overweight for three years now and she has never mentioned a problem with my weight. Even when I began showing signs of being prediabetic. Is this because she is uncomfortable with her weight and doesnt feel comfortable giving me that advice? Does her being obese make her any less qualified to give me advice? I do realize that if I find a smaller doctor that doesnt mean they live a healthy lifestyle...but it sure makes it less awkward to talk about my weightloss. What do you guys think?:huh:

millesun

Please don't hate me.....but if you stop seeing her just because she is fat....what does that say about you?

babytmarie27

Well the topic was: Is it wrong to change an otherwise awesome doctor solely because she is obese?

Painten

Why don't you try and talk about your weightloss too her. If she reacts inappropriatly and by that i mean overly upset and unsupportive then change doctors. Otherwise she might actually be able to give you support. Just becuase she is overweight herself it doesn't mean she is uncomfortable discussing weightloss.

Biggestloserfan

I would actually open up the discussion first and if the doctor isn't willing to give you information or willing to talk to you about it then you might want to consider changing but up until you actually attempt to talk to him/her about it then I wouldn't make a rash decision to change. If you haven't approached the subject then it isn't fair to the doctor. They just may have not brought it up because of other issues or that they haven't felt it being a major problem as of yet. I would give them the benefit of the doubt and actually attempt talking to them about the issue and see if they are willing to help you with your concerns before you make the decision to change.

epj78

If I were you, and your #1 health priority right now is to lose weight and you otherwise love this doctor....YOU bring up the topic and see how well versed she is in healthy weight loss. Like you said, just because a doc is skinny doesn't mean they know a thing about diet and fitness. And, frankly, I may be about 30 pounds overweight still, but I feel incredibly well versed in diet and exercise because it's been a life long struggle for me. One of those do as I say, not as I do things.

MayMaydoesntrun

You are PAYING her for her services. If you are not satisfied, you should probably speak up. More than likely, she will appreciate your honesty. And if she becomes offended...well, there's your answer.

babytmarie27

Its not that simple. As a doctor shouldnt she have warned me about the dangers of my weight? Advised me to lose weight to prevent diabetes? If her own personal struggle affects how she advises me....shouldnt I change doctors?

jreese5226

Hmmmmmm... If she is an awesome doctor otherwise, I would keep her. Just remind yourself that you are there to discuss "your health." If she seems indifferent to your health concerns as a result of excess weight, then I might consider switching doctors. Otherwise, who knows, your success may even inspire her.

emmaleigh47

I would discuss it with her before changing ... see what kind of things that she says.
I would agree to some extent that those people who are heavier and are not making attempts at weight loss likely do not know the tricks. However, how do you know she isnt working hard at it too in a different way?

I have seen alot of posts on here about people who get all bent out of shape when their doctor makes comments about their weight... and then I have seen posts from people who are mad that their doctor did not comments.

As a health care provider myself (NP) I actually just had a patient fire me because I dared mention that her over 300 lbs could have possibly contributed to her chronic pain, arthritis, and fibro. I did not say anything inappropriate, just questioned whether she thought that might be contributing? Hmmm

catcrazy

If she is otherwise awesome then yes I think you would be wrong. She may not have bought your weight up for a variety of reasons including the one that you suggested. If she is a good Dr she will still support you in trying to lose weight and get fitter...if she doesnt then maybe shes not as awesome as first thought and then you could switch Drs but at least give her the chance first.

amymeenieminymo

If you changed, I don't think you would be doing so just because she is fat (like in a discrimination sort of way) but it is diffcult to get the support and care you need from a doctor who has the same issue. I find it a little alarming that she didn't even say anything when you were verging on being pre-diabetic....that's her job afterall, it's not like you would know that necessarily without her doing the tests and giving you the results.

You could always talk to her about it, but I'm pretty non-confrontational when it comes to something like that, so I personally would just switch and not say anything.

Sara1978

I think the most important thing is to find a doctor that you are comfortable with. You need to be able to talk to your doctor. For some people, that means they look for a doctor of a certain gender, or a certain age, or who has a certain personality-- and for you, the weight issue might be a determining factor. It really shouldn't matter if it is "right" or wrong to feel that way. Your health could be at stake if you aren't able to speak freely to her about things that may come up.

babytmarie27

Maybe Im pushing my own issues on her? I just know how crappy I feel when one of my friends who is a lot smaller than me go on and on about the weight they need to lose. Im like if you think you are fat...I must look like a big *kitten* cow to you lol

Jessica_Lo

You might be right on about this. My sister had a pediatrician for her kids who was over weight and made it known she was an over weight child. My sisters kids were all heavy kids. She would ask the pediatricial about this and she would blow her off telling her it was normal and they were fine. Yes, they might have been "healthy" for the most part but they're eating habits and their weight was NOT fine. However that gave my sister the blessing she needed to continue living unhealthy with her kids. I think the doctor did her an injustice by not encouraging a healthier lifestyle and I encouraged her to switch which she never did.

So yes...if it makes you uncomfortable then change. I went to a diet center once who had all heavy nurses and the nutritionist was obese. I took their information kindly and never went back. I can not take advice from someone like that and you are probably in the same boat. She might be a perfectly good doctor but you have already seen signs to make you question your ability to get to where you want to with this particular doctor so trust yourself.

Good luck.

miatavixxen

Its not that simple. As a doctor shouldnt she have warned me about the dangers of my weight? Advised me to lose weight to prevent diabetes? If her own personal struggle affects how she advises me....shouldnt I change doctors?

if she were that "awesome" - and your weight has turned (or might be turning) into an issue for your health and she hasn't mentioned anything, then maybe she isn't so awesome... your doctor should be advising you regarding your health...

DarMC

How long have you been seeing your Dr.? And have you been able to discuss other issues with No problems? If so, I would take the step to talk to her about your health and goals. Some Dr's have boundaries within their own stats of what can be talked about, for fear of someone suing them. And who knows, maybe you can both work together to accomplish your same goals?! I would try it, what do you have to loose at this point....besides your weight? "Hugs"

foxxybrown

Maybe she isn't struggling. Maybe she likes the way she looks. It's a lot easier to give advice than to follow your own. But she is a doctor, not a nutritionist so weight/nutrition is probably not her specialty. And she may not feel comfortable giving you advice about weight if she obviously has not conquered it herself.

Painten

Its not that simple. As a doctor shouldnt she have warned me about the dangers of my weight? Advised me to lose weight to prevent diabetes? If her own personal struggle affects how she advises me....shouldnt I change doctors?

You can guess what is in her head but as neither of you talked about it then you don't know. It seems you are uncomfortable with her being overweight and now your here looking for someone to support you wanting to change doctors.

Tree72

If you like your doctor otherwise I'd definitely try talking to her about it. If things don't go well, you can always change at that point. Also, it may not be just because your doctor is overweight that she didn't mention it to you. Many, many doctors are afraid or embarrassed to talk to patients about weight loss. Or she may think you already know you're overweight and don't want to hear it from her. My doctor never said a word until I started being pre-hypertensive, and she's a healthy weight. I've even read articles on CNN about how many doctors are unwilling to confront their patients about weight issues. So, I don't think it's just your doctor, and I'd definitely give it a try.

picturesing

I would discuss it with her before changing ... see what kind of things that she says.
I would agree to some extent that those people who are heavier and are not making attempts at weight loss likely do not know the tricks. However, how do you know she isnt working hard at it too in a different way?

I have seen alot of posts on here about people who get all bent out of shape when their doctor makes comments about their weight... and then I have seen posts from people who are mad that their doctor did not comments.

As a health care provider myself (NP) I actually just had a patient fire me because I dared mention that her over 300 lbs could have possibly contributed to her chronic pain, arthritis, and fibro. I did not say anything inappropriate, just questioned whether she thought that might be contributing? Hmmm

Exactly!!!! It could be a lose/lose if you fire this practitioner. As a nurse I am VERY proactive regarding my health and I had to switch docs 2 yrs ago b/c lack of attention.....my perception of course. When I went to the doc I see now - my first comment was that I wanted a practitioner who would listen to me and work with me! He agreed to do so....recently I began to feel like he wasn't listening and gently asked if all was well between us - he appologized for any perceptions I was picking up on and we kinda started fresh with some agreements regarding my medications. It was a give and take win/win for both of us!
On a side note I took a weeks worth of my MFP food logs to show him what I've been doing....he was very excited and promised to look at the site for himself....I know my excitement was quite obvious!
Good luck to you in whatever you decide....a good and trusting relationship with your practitioner is so important!

bugnbeansmom

I think the bigger concern is that you knew you were having health issues related to your weight and she failed to guide you. If you like the doctor, try to work it out but I would be concerned if my doctor let a serious health matter go when I knew there was something worng. If she were thin and fit and failed to approach you with the issue would you continue seeing her? What if it is not weight next time? What if it is a mole that is showing signs of issues or girl problems or diabetes or thyroid issues blah blah blah? Would you let that go? My guess is probably not. Don't beat yourself up because she is heavy. Just make sure your doc (thick, thin, or in between) has the abililty to treat you and ensure your best heatlh and safety.

taso42_DELETED

My understanding is that regular physicians get very little training in the area of nutrition. Perhaps you should keep your doctor and seek out a registered dietitian or nutritionist to create a nutrition program for you. Or, start reading up on your own.

numberscolors

i have a thin doctor who has never made any remark about me needed to lose weight. a person being fat or "obese" does not inherently suggest that they are unhealthy, and i think most informed doctors know that. your doctor must not have been concerned about your weight. i'm sure if YOU brought it up as a concern, she would be able to counsel you and make some professional recommendations, as i'm sure she has for many of her patients.

her body size/weight/appearance is absolutely NONE of your business and it means nothing about her ability to diagnose and treat medical conditions.

kjensen15

IMO there is a lot of "do what I say, not what I do" in the medical world.

kjensen15

IMO there is a lot of "do what I say, not what I do" in the medical world.

Soupskin

Shop around. You are the customer here.

If you can't find one better, then sick with what you have.

awelch79

Its not that simple. As a doctor shouldnt she have warned me about the dangers of my weight? Advised me to lose weight to prevent diabetes? If her own personal struggle affects how she advises me....shouldnt I change doctors?

It sounds like you have already made up your mind, but you are looking for some support. :flowerforyou:
In my opinion, you need to do what makes you feel comfortable. I am not comfortable with making other people uncomfortable & it sounds like you may be the same because you hesitiate bringing it up with her... so I understand why you havent. It sounds like you just arent "trusting" her because she didnt bring it up with you when you feel she should have. I may be alone in this opinion, but I feel that if you are AT ALL uncomfortable with someone who would/could have your life in their hands, you should switch. You can always "eat crow" later and come back if you find "the grass isnt greener" with another doctor.

bhb301

Yes , she should be on the look out for your well being and health. If she has never addressed you being pre-diabetic, that soley should make you want to change. Also you should be comfortable to discuss what ever health issues you have. So I think you know this but you should change.

babytmarie27

@milleson Your fine...Im not easily offended. But let me ask you Would you select an obese personal trainer? They may know just as much as the next person but really would you?

kdouglas11

tough topic.... my own thin good looking man doctor never brought up my weight. Yeah, he's my doctor, not my parent. As an adult, if you have concerns it is your responsibility to bring it up, not the doctor's. If you feel uncomfotable bringing up anything with you doc, maybe she's not the right one for you