Jealous of my boyfriend

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redwngs13
redwngs13 Posts: 194 Member
in Motivation and Support
I signed me and my boyfriend up for the Race for the Cure 5k. I've been running for a while now training for it (almost every day since January) and my boyfriend didn't start working out til just around the end of Feb. I am jealous of him because he's been running half as long as I have and his 5k time is already way better than mine! I know I should be happy for him that he's been doing so good but I can't help but feel mad that I've been training for this way longer than he has and he barely has to try and has a faster time than me. I'm trying to use this as motivation for me to get better but whenever I start running I tire out after about 15 minutes and I have to slow down to a walk. I get disappointed in myself that I can't keep going like he does... I hate feeling mad at him just because he's faster than me :( Has anyone else out there had this kind of thing happen with their significant other? What did you do to overcome the jealousy?

Replies

  • sweetheart03622
    sweetheart03622 Posts: 928 Member
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    That's men for you... I've been training since the beginning of February and my boyfriend went running with me over the weekend and kept stride with me no problem, and he's pretty much a couch potato... just tell yourself that at least you get to wear pretty shoes =)
  • Newfiedan
    Newfiedan Posts: 1,517 Member
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    well if he is taller than you that plays a role. I am only 5ft8 and my max speed on the treadmill is 11 mph, my average is now 6 mph so If one is taller then their stride is bigger which makes a big difference.
  • gooberr4
    gooberr4 Posts: 253 Member
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    at least ur boyfriend is being supportive. I'm sure he doesn't mean to "steal the spotlight" I asked my boyfriend to run a 5K with me....he said no haha.
  • Little_Lisa_Ann
    Little_Lisa_Ann Posts: 59
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    My boyfriend is skinnier than I am..and I don't just mean he looks skinnier because he's 5 inches taller, but he actually weighs less than me! He works 50+ hours a week behind a desk, eats like crap most of the time, and almost never works out..yet I'm at the gym 3-4 days a week, watching what I eat and how much, and he weighs less than I do..most frustrating thing ever! >:o
  • Picky_nikki
    Picky_nikki Posts: 405 Member
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    That's men for you... I've been training since the beginning of February and my boyfriend went running with me over the weekend and kept stride with me no problem, and he's pretty much a couch potato... just tell yourself that at least you get to wear pretty shoes =)
    Love this!
    My husband is the same... if he notices he is up 5 lbs he watches his diet for a week and is down! We are going to do P90X together once I am done JM Ripped in 30, and I am sure I will hate him more after that! lol
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    Interesting post. Its hard not to compare yourself to someone else when you are working on the same goal. But I try to look at it this way... we're all different so we have different potential/capabilities/acheivements. If my husband can do something better than me (like cook) there is something that I do better, like entertain the kids. It balances out. I used to get frustrated that he won't eat my food but that's okay. Doesn't make me a bad person, he's not getting into heaven any quicker. We just do what we do.

    Bottom line, be proud of what you can do. Because if it wasn't your boyfriend, there will always be someone around you who can do it longer, better, stronger. Good for them. But GREAT for you that you are doing it at all, at your own speed!
  • taldie01
    taldie01 Posts: 378
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    I train all the time, and my husband doesnt train at all he still beats me by 6 mins on a 10kms
  • AlyssaC2010
    AlyssaC2010 Posts: 100
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    Oh no I'm sorry about that :( I swear, it seems like everything is easier for them...losing weight, working out, etc. I don't have a boyfriend to have that jealousy, but I do feel it w/ other people. I heard an old friend talking about how he only trained for 2 months and did a 5k in like 28 min. I was like SERIOUSLY!!! I struggle at 40 min for one and shaving time off of that. So I was kind of in the same boat as you. I tire out very quickly too, and I don't know how to turn it around.
  • ckncj
    ckncj Posts: 183 Member
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    I get tired quickly, too. BUT, if I keep my pace in the forefront of my mind, I can track for longer distances.

    Slow your pace down a bit and see if you can run further.

    Slow & Steady wins the race, right? Don't compare yourself to your BF. Be happy that you two are doing something towards a healthy lifestyle together!!!
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
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    Funny you should post that, I've just had a similar conversation with my boyfriend. He's nearly a foot taller and 40lb heavier than me, and unlike me he's fairly fit and actually has some muscle. It's so annoying that I'm working out far more than he is, and eating far less but he's burning more calories and dropping the pounds far quicker.

    Grr... When it comes to diet and fitness, men are just basically annoying!

    All you can do is just ignore his effortless success and carry on and do the best that you can do for yourself. Oh, and slip sneaky bits of butter into his food. :P
  • Raynamama
    Raynamama Posts: 480 Member
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    I trained for my first half marathon last year and I begged my husband to do a few runs with me to mix it up a bit because I was running like 5-6 days/week. He NEVER works out and at the time he was a smoker...and he SMOKED me LOL (sorry I'm a dork)
    But I just reminded myself of the facts: my husband is 6'5" and I am 5'8" ...that right there is a HUGE stride difference. Also, genetically speaking my husband has super muscular legs (I mean it literally looks like there is NO fat on his legs, just muscle) so his legs are literally like 6 foot long springs! LOL, my legs are not naturally muscular - I've had to work really hard for ANY of the definition that I have! Those are just the harsh, cold facts! LOL - I like to run with my husband to push myself, I know I will never run as fast as he will but one thing I do take pride in, is I can run longer and I have more endurance because I worked for it!! ;)
    Men and women are built differently and have different genetics etc etc etc...try to just enjoy your time together and cherish the fact that you are doing this together! I know it's hard when you're competitive, but try not to compare yourself to others and just have fun! You're out there exercising and working on your health and reaching new goals, and that's an amazing thing! =)
    :flowerforyou:
  • WolffEarl
    WolffEarl Posts: 379 Member
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    This post made me smile. So us guys have it easy eh?:) I work hard for every 10 seconds I shave off the 5 K time:) Well let me assure you we guys get jealous too when some of our male friends who do not do a lick of exercising can keep up with us although we have been out there running every day, those friends who do not gain an inch or pound even when having chocolate cake for breakfast.
    However let us remind ourselves that when the lean times arrive and food becomes scarce they would be the first to starve to death with their low inefficient metabolism while we, who only need to look at food to gain weight, would survive. More power to us who store energy so well:)
  • redwngs13
    redwngs13 Posts: 194 Member
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    Thanks for all the replies, I feel a little better about it now. :) I'll just keep doing what I'm doing. The good thing is he hasn't tried running outside at all and I've been trying to train outside more than the treadmill. Maybe I'll actually be able to keep up with him when we do the race since I know what it's like running outside!
  • bikerbiz
    bikerbiz Posts: 179 Member
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    Negative thoughts out! :noway: Be happy for the gifts you have, and that your loving husband IS doing this with you! The competition is not against him...is it? Now, please go give him a hug, and tell him how much you love him for doing this alongside you. Doctor's orders! :flowerforyou: Have fun!! (I wish my wife would have done something like this with me...instead, the kids are getting in on the fun, so now she's coming around. They want to do one of those "Warrior Dashes", now.)
  • LittleBuddy13
    LittleBuddy13 Posts: 137 Member
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    well women have booty to jump around too lol and guys are always faster then girls when it comes to running it seems....dont be jelouse just try to keep up its actually a good think to make you push harder, it will probably benefit you in the long run.
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
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    It's really basic physiology. Males tend to have more muscle mass than females. More muscle = less effort (relatively speaking)
    If you wanted to beat a guy in running, you shoulda called me, I'm still in walk mode. You could have run the course, and had time to come back & call the paramedics for me. :)
    T
  • plcarpenter
    plcarpenter Posts: 83 Member
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    What a jerk...he should run slower :wink:

    I signed me and my boyfriend up for the Race for the Cure 5k. I've been running for a while now training for it (almost every day since January) and my boyfriend didn't start working out til just around the end of Feb. I am jealous of him because he's been running half as long as I have and his 5k time is already way better than mine! I know I should be happy for him that he's been doing so good but I can't help but feel mad that I've been training for this way longer than he has and he barely has to try and has a faster time than me. I'm trying to use this as motivation for me to get better but whenever I start running I tire out after about 15 minutes and I have to slow down to a walk. I get disappointed in myself that I can't keep going like he does... I hate feeling mad at him just because he's faster than me :( Has anyone else out there had this kind of thing happen with their significant other? What did you do to overcome the jealousy?
  • daddyratty
    daddyratty Posts: 305 Member
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    I'm around high schoolers all the time, and kids who do very little cardiovascularly can go out for their mile test and run 8's and 9's, while I'm 2-1/2 months into my training and running around 10:25's in 2-4 mile runs.

    For me, I often envision the years of unfitness that I'm shedding as I train. As I shed through a layer of unfitness, there is plenty more to shed. And I have awhile, still. I'm 12 pounds from breaking through to my lowest married weight (2/17/2001), and 10 pounds from there I'll hit the lowest in 15 years. So I'm sure that weight is dying to hang on.

    Some of it could be gender-based, but my experience is that I just have a lot of unfitness to peel back before I'm where I want to be.
  • PegasusDeb
    PegasusDeb Posts: 665 Member
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    That happened to me. Not so much the training, but the weight lost. I have to keep reminding myself that it's easier for guys to lose then it is for us. It doesn't make it any easier, but now I know better then trying to "compete" with him.
  • sheilamo
    sheilamo Posts: 115 Member
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    Oh girl.

    I have been married to a man that for the last 19 years has been "trying" to put on 10 LBS!!!!!

    He eats whatever he wants and still doesn't put those pounds on. As for me, well, I've put them on, taken them off, put them on...you get the idea.

    I was so jealous at first and then I realized that our bodies are different and I can't expect what he does to work for me, vice versa. You almost have to just "let it go" otherwise you will always feel like the "underdog".

    Cheers!

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