So frustrated.. I just want to cry...

AngelicaDulas

Your mom is so wrong!! I spend WAYYYY WAY WAY WAYYYYYY less money (almost $200 less a month) now that I eat healthy. I eat fresh foods instead of processed packaged stuff, I'm not wasting money on chips, cookies, soda etc and I get full and physically eat less on the higher quality foods that I do eat. i'm sorry for you. Do you have even a part time job that you can afford to buy some of your own food? I think that you should ask your family to not do/say ANYTHING to you about it if they don't have anything nice or encouraging to say. They are threatened by you succeeding. Are they overweight or out of shape too? Once they see you making progress and not giving up, maybe their eyes will open... good luck.

faerybun

Baby girl i'm going through just about the same thing, except my family isn't worried about the cost as much as they are jealous... It's so hard not to have support from the people that are closest to you, I know.

But MFP (And Tumblr) have an amazing web of people that will be incredibly supportive.

I was always a 'big girl' too, but no more! With some determination and hard work you can be any size or weight you want.

Don't let them discourage you!

Keep an eye out in the Sunday papers for healthy foods that are '2 for 1' or something like that. The other day our market had avocados for $.50!

VictorinoDennis

Eating healthy is not expensive. If your mom would stop buying junk she could spend that money on healthier snacks and help your family at the same time. I thoughtthe same thing before I cut out all junk. My kids werent happy but now they have more energy.( which is ok sometimes) but I ask her to give it a try. Good Luck

gemco

it's hard when you aren't getting any support. are your parents overweight themselves? I think some people can rebel against it because they take it as a criticism of them, rather than being about you. They're wrong to act that way of course, but it is because they're maybe in denial about their own weight. Also they might not want you to be successful because that would contrast against them NO tackling it. Try and use it as a 'well I'll show you!' motivator? You can't make people support you so you have to be your own cheer squad. Good luck with the dress!

abbeylolee

You are worth every second you spend defending yourself, excercising, eating healthy, and feeling good about yourself. You should be SO SO proud that you are motivated enough to get healthy and lose weight. If you lose the weight now and start to see results, adopt some healthy eating habits, you will be SO much happier in college, or wherever you go.

It's sad your parents think eating healthy is too expenseive, because later in life, all those hospital bills that will accumulate from diabetes, cancer, obesity are REALLY going to add up. Cost benefit. You are RIGHT to start eating healthy. For me, healthy food is a priority and I spend less money on clothes and shoes (as hard as that is!), but it makes such a difference when I feed my body good whole food. I feel mentally and physically well.

Good luck, good luck, good luck. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS! You are WORTH IT!

Coyla

I'm on a very strict grocery budget, but I can still eat healthy- not the whole, organic foods a lot of people here promote. I can't afford that. But I search for frozen vegetables, fresh produce on sale, and whole wheat options.

It IS possible to eat well on a budget.

However, maybe the problem with your family is that you're making a big deal of this. I've known some younger people to use weight loss as a means of getting attention. It's silly to assume that's your motive, but think of it from their perspective. Suddenly your weight loss is all you care about, and it could be drowning everything else out. (I'm guilty of this myself.)

Also, maybe they feel guilty because they're not jumping on board, and when you bring it up, they feel like you're rubbing it in. That's not what you're doing, but it feels like that to them. If you could somehow try to get them excited about it, so they do it WITH you, it would be great! (I don't have a magic wand to make this happen, of course.)

Another thing: when you complain about how unhealthy the foods are, in essence, you're insulting your mom's ability to buy good food. To her, it's like you're saying she's a bad mom. As the head grocery shopper of my house, I really take it to heart when people question my ability to shop for good food. I know that's not what you mean, but that's what she feels. And feelings aren't always connected to logic.

I'm playing devil's advocate a bit to provide perspective, I hope.

And you'll definitely get into that dress!

daylilies

I just got a pamphlet from my new personal trainer and one of the things she says is "You don't need motivation to do something, you need determination." in other words you can't rely on other people to get you through this, it has to come from within you. That really changed my perspective and I hope it helps you too. I'm sorry your mom isn't supportive. It sounds like she might be resistant to your changes because she's jealous.

stanvoodoo

Be strong and don't lter others even family get you down. You are doing the right thing and yeah eating better does sometimes cost more but living better and longer is well worth it.

They may come around you never know and maybe you should get your own little fridge if it bothers them and don't make it a topic of conversation, just smile and know you are doing what is best for you and your body.

Congrats, keep it up, we are all here for you and we all believe in you!

ShannonE1978

OMG! Do not let THEM get YOU down. Your journey is exactly what it is, YOURS. I don't know your whole situation but I have found that sometimes people who struggle with their own weight try to bring down other people who are trying to make a go at it. Other out of shape people just don't want to hear about your success, they want you to be the one worse than they are. Focus on yourself only. If you want different food, go get it for yourself. Maybe get a small refrigerator for your room that you bought. Maybe your mother is worried you will ask her to buy these things. If you really want to show them you are serious, do it for yourself. If they continue regardless of you asking their opinion, just offer this well known phrase to shut them up: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Be strong, I wish you the best!

missy1970eb

come on dont give up, u got us 2 support u:flowerforyou:

AquaAura

Ignorance is blind ..... You obviously know better there aint no shame in wanting to be healthy. Big ups to you and when you succeed and you will !!! you'll be a shinning example of what is possible. Teach by example. And at the end of the day it does not matter what anyone else thinks about you as long as you are happy with yourself and the person you want to be.

You can achieve anything you want to if you want it bad enough ! (so I tell myself every day :P)

We're all here to support you and there are thousands of us out there who are trying to be healthier too !! so don't ever feel like you're alone.

enygmatic1

Hey I know it's easier said than done because all I ever heard growing up was how "I can't..." or how disappointing I was, or fat, etc...the reason behind getting healthier and living to our fullest potential in life needs to be our only movation and driving force because others will let us down. Either they fear what they don't know, or are turning a blind eye because they aren't happy. You know that saying misery loves company? It applies to the one's we love the most and because you're on a path to being a healthier, happier you it may be making your family scared because they don't know any other way and eating healthy pans out to being cheaper if you consider the medical benefits on top of everything else. I struggle everyday and every meal and sometimes it feels hopeless but I have hope and that hope keeps me going. Don't give up, don't give in, keep fighting and maybe, who knows, you can change you're families minds!!! You'll always have us kid!!

christmre

So sorry you aren't getting any support at home, that sucks. Don't let them get you down, you can keep up the exercise and eat healthier. Do it for you, not them. I think it's a great idea to have a goal outfit, I have one and it's keeping me motivated! :happy:

lisy28

This would be my motivation do it to PROOVE THEM WRONG!!!!!!!

When you get down in sizes and fit in to that dress FLAUNT IT GIRL no need to say i told you so just dance you little butt off in the nice small dress in front of them he he he

TourThePast

Is your mother genuinely concerned about the cost of healthy eating? Or is she feeling threatened and perhaps a bit ashamed that she hasn't been able to look after her family properly? I'm sure you already know that eating sensibly doesn't have to be expensive, perhaps you could offer to take over the shopping and cooking for a week and show them that healthy food can actually be enjoyable?

The good news is that you're leaving home soon, so you won't have to put up with this sort of attitude any longer.

PantalaNagaPampa

Wow, I am so sad to hear that you are getting an utter lack of support from your parents and home life.
You are right though, you can always turn to this amazing and vast community of people for quality support. Everyone here is on some type of journey, whether it is to lose weight or gain muscle or whatever, we all know what it means to work hard, eat right and be the people we want to be. Just keep posting and working hard. In the end, you will have the last laugh. illegitimi non carborundum!!

jerseygirlmaggie

When I read your post, my first thought was "You need to remember you are doing this for you, not for them!!!"

If they choose not to support you, then spend as little time discussing this with them as possible. Surround yourself with people (this board, friends, etc) who will support you.

I think your personal quote speaks volumes! "It comes down to a simple question: what do you want out of life, and what are you willing to do to get it?" Live that....

grumpy2032

I know how hard it is with no support .My family likes to feed me .Icecream , pizza , candy, I have learned to say no thank you I am making better choices.Its hard at first but it can be done. You just keep going and they will see you mean it Then they may come arround.You can always come to us for the support you need !!!!!:bigsmile:

abra526

Stay strong, girl. I think all of us have those people in our lives that are "de-motivators" but unfortunately for you, it is people that are supposed to be the most supportive and closest. Remember you are doing this for YOU. No one else. The fact that you are here is a great first step, and it seems that you have it straight about what you need to do to accomplish your goals. Good luck, and hopefully they will come around! Feel free to add me as a friend

PrincessLacey

Okay first I know exactly how you feel.
My mom was at first unsupportive because I'd done this whole weight loss thing before and gave up,and gained it back.
After a few months she became supportive but then I started exercise (30DS) and she's totally unsupportive like,"you don't need to exercise everyday like that"
Now she cool for the diet but ehhh for the exercise I think she finds it annoying but she doesn't understand that it makes me feel well good about myself and I feel stronger and beginning to love my legs :bigsmile:
Be patient I believe your mom will get there and your sister's best friend you know what i know?screw her!!I am 188 pounds my niece and my mind always said ,"you'll never be below 200 pounds trust me" all my life I've had this stuck in my head finally one day I said,"eff this"
Just watch what you eat,exercise and the most important thing?PROVE THEM WRONG!
You can do this,I believe that you can :flowerforyou:
Don't stop believing! lol :laugh:

rockabillydarlin

Keep going and prove them wrong! I think YOU know you can do it, and WE know you can do it... so DO IT GIRL! They'll be eating their words when you're rocking that dress. Don't give up. Keep going!

clothes_of_sand

Wow, that's really harsh. Is your mom overweight? Because sometimes people don't want those close to them to lose weight because it means they have to look at themselves differently. Also, it doesn't have to be expensive to eat healthy.

For vegetables, eat canned. They're not quite as healthy as fresh or frozen, but they're cheaper, still healthy (especially if you get the low sodium ones), and low in calories. Also, canned fruit in 100% juice or even light syrup is a good, cheap alternative to fresh fruit -- again, not *quite* as healthy, but still healthy, low cal, and cheap. Bag salad, homemade soups, and rice can be your best friends (just watch how much rice you eat -- it's cheap but the calories can stack up quick). Also, clip coupons, look for sales, and if you shop at grocery stores, make sure you take advantage of the store card they often give for free. It is hard to eat healthy on a budget, but you can -- I'm in college, with limited fridge space and limited money, so I have to do the same. Maybe you can ask your mom for the portion of the food money that would have been spent on you, so that you can spend it yourself?

Either way, we're all here backing you up. Don't let them tear your motivation down

rklein88

similar (kinda) situation happened to me, but not in such a disappointing way. My roommate (5'10" female weighing 310lbs) told me that with my "a** and thighs" i would "never be able to get to that weight" when I told her my goal is 150 (i'm 5'9" and 171). needless to say, i was livid. Now i hear her saying that in my head every time i get up and every time i work out or weigh myself. When I reach my goal, she will hear about it. It's hard to get mad like this at family, but I hope you can use their words as motivation, I know that's how I'll use her comments. GOOD LUCK!

you can do this, you don't need anyone but the support on here

givprayz

I'm sorry, that has to be tough. I'm sure it has to be harder when you aren't the one buying the groceries, but eating healthy really isn't more expensive. I am spending the same amount of money that I did before. Junk food and drinks can add up and as soon as I cut them out and just got healthy food it worked out to the same amount. Some affordable options are frozen veggies instead of fresh ones, tuna is cheap, ground turkey isn't much more than beef, the store brand light bread is only .25 more than regular bread, low sodium lunch meat is usually the same price as regular. Also just eating smaller portions than you are used to can dramatically reduce your calorie intake.

And no, you won't be fat no matter how hard you try! It does take hard work to lose weight, but it sounds like you are motivated to do it, just keep at it and you will get there.

I totally agree!. I also think the poster that recommended helping with grocery shopping and cooking has the right idea. Try some Hungry Girl recipes that mimic higher-calorie regular foods. Use lots of frozen fruits and vegetables, because they are less expensive and often more nutritious than fresh. Try lower fat versions of things like milk, cheese, even ice cream. Read nutrition labels of things in the house already and see where you can use something already available to make a better meal, like I add a bag of frozen vegetables into one of those frozen skillet meals to make it stretch farther as well as improve its nutrition value. There's always plenty of sauce in them to stretch. I used to do something like that with hamburger helper, by adding whole grain pasta or noodles to what comes in the package.

Making a simple but specific request often works better than blanket statements. Asking to buy several bags of frozen vegetables to add to family dinners might be better received than "everything you buy is unhealthy." If you have an Aldi in your town, try showing your mom the price per serving of boneless, skinless chicken versus the breaded stuff, it's a much better deal, and can be used for so many more things. Frozen vegetables are also cheaper than boxed side-dishes. If all else fails, use your own money to buy the higher quality foods, cook them in delicious ways, and maybe your family will start asking to have what you're having.

janemartin02

WOW!that`s ashamed that the people who are suppose to be there for you aren`t.Don`t let them get in your way to get healthy.Find the support from your friends on this website.People here are all here for the same thing.To be healthy.Don`t let them get you down.You are so worth it.
Good luck!!
jane:flowerforyou:

AngelsKisses75

Could it be that your mother is afraid she cannot provide healthier meals for you, that eating healthy would cost a lot more money? Maybe like another poster mentioned maybe there is a fear that you are doing something the opposite of healthy and creating something of an eating disorder?

I say you are fighting the good fight here. Maybe if you can show her a healthy meal that is also cost effective she will start seeing things can be good, healthy, and not as expensive as it may seem. Plan a meal, and maybe even fix the meal for the family? Also it might help to let them know you don't expect them to change anything, but to understand and be supportive of your changes?

Just a few ideas I had. *hugs* I hope this gets easier for you.

amfmmama

Sometimes when you are working so hard to better yourself, it only highlights what the people around you have to improve. Having said that too bad. don't let them get you down! My mother has been after me about my weight since I hit puberty. She was the one who made constant comments about my weight and then asked me to go get ice cream. Last year, I was on MFP and lost 25 pounds before anyone noticed or said anything. Do it for yourself and don't worry about anyone else!!

craft338

my mom won't get healthy food cuz she says it's too expensive too. now i do all my own shopping and have my own shelf in the fridge. yesterday i asked if i could put a stationary bike in the living room, so if i'm gonna watch tv, i could at least be moving while watching...but it would "look bad and scratch the wood floor". my dad said that it would just be "another junk in the house" because he doesn't think i would actually use it. but screw that. i'll get one anyway and put it in my room and watch tv in there. i figured we could still watch our family shows together, but i guess i'll just stay up in my room and take care of myself.

you have to find ways around your family with these things. sometimes parents can be closed minded and kinda old school, but u just gotta do what you gotta do. good luck with everything!!!

rwarren2

I'm sorry to hear about the lack of support; I think that's what makes this site so special - the people here are absolutely wonderful, never stop trying to attain your goal, you only fail when you give up.

beastmode_kitty

Do it for yourself despite what your parents say! You always will have the people on MFP supporting you! In fact with what your mom had to say should motivate you even more to prove her wrong!

My mom said to me when I first applied to be a City Bus Driver that she didn't think I would make it or even stick to it. I've been at my bus driving job for 4 1/2 years and proved her wrong! She ate those words and apologized.

I think the same could apply here. So do it for yourself, and prove it to your family that you can and you will do it!