SO CLOSE to giving up!

Japangela

Ok, first off I have to say I'm thankful I'm not gaining more weight. But I'm still ticked off that I'm not losing any weight! I'm tired of feeling hungry and wanting food, but having to deny myself (timing) or stop eating when I don't feel full (portion sizes). I don't want to make excuses for myself, but really am wondering if I'm working against something that I don't have a lot of control over right now. Someone please encourage me or offer advice. Y'all have given me such helpful perspectives and ideas in the past, that I actually use! I'm so discouraged right now.

So here's what I think I'm up against:
Breastfeeding= I'm not Bf'ing full-time as my baby is 11mos old. But I'm still cautious about dieting while lactating. Maybe that's not helping me mentally, because I keep thinking I need calories when maybe I don't.

Medication= I'm taking a low dose of Zoloft, and I'm not ready to come off it right now. I've read online that people report weight gain or the inability to lose weight. I keep thinking that's hogwash- that if I just come out less-than my daily calorie goals that I should lose weight. And in the past that's how I've been successful! But not so this time. This time it's a lot harder to lose weight, and I can't help but think it's the medication.

Emotional= Well, I'm on Zo for a reason... depression SUCKS! Though I try to avoid it I must confess that I frequently try to comfort myself with food. Particularly desserts, which rack up the calories quick. I'm stuck in that well-known cycle of "I feel bad, therefore I eat to feel better, but then I'm not losing any weight, so then I feel bad, and I eat to feel better..." and so on and so forth. I'm not bingeing, but I'm still eating more than I should, and not the right things.

I'm TIRED= High stress, six children, depression, not sleeping well at night, overweight, and not exercising enough contributes to my fatigue. And my fatigue makes correcting my bad habits very difficult. And when I'm tired like this I don't feel like preparing nutritious meals. I just want something quick! Yesterday I fell asleep in the doctor's office waiting for my son's pediatrician appointment. And I fell asleep during the prayer time at Bible study last night!! I'm not usually that bad, but I came off a very taxing, stressful weekend only to jump straight into another burdensome week.

I'm so close to giving up on this weight loss thing. HELP!

JustMichelleB

Think of the 6 children (six kids!! no wonder you're tired!!), the example you're setting for them by eating healthy, exercising, taking care of YOU.

crystal10584

don't give up... and make sure you meet your daily calorie goals. don't eat less, MFP creates the deficit for you and helps you that way. drink tons of water and make sure you're getting in exercise.

miss_kelcy

keep going! the fact that you've gone this long and havent gained any weight is amazing!!! that's great progress - just because the scale doesn't say so, you're doing so well! you can control everything and you have been, otherwise you would've given up a long time ago - but you didnt. your strength to continue even though you feel down is so inspiring, i wish we could all learn from your motivation to stay strong.

bparr

Going from unhealthy to healthy isn't easy and it will take focused commitment. Take little steps each week to make a change that gets you closer to better choices. Plan ahead for your meals and every little bit of exercise you can get will increase your energy and improve your mood.
Good Luck-- and remember-- little changes every week will lead to big changes in a few months.

catniss

I wish I could pour support and encouragement through my keyboard to yours so that you could soak it up and take it to heart! I've been to some of the same places you are and I still visit them from time to time--I just (as in just last night) took on one of my demons and while I almost let it win (yet again), I fought back and made it through with renewed motivation and determination. You can too!
Struggling with depression on top of everything else you describe gives you a huge mountain to climb, but just try to do it one step at a time--that's all we can do anyway...
DON'T GIVE UP!!! Everyone here is pulling for you-we need to believe that other people can do this, just to reassure ourselves that we can do it too (one of my friends reminded me of this last night).
Friend me if you like and we can remind each other of that as often as we need to.
DON'T GIVE UP!!!

Tropchica

I know how you feel on some levels. I too have been close to giving up on this weight loss challenge. Recently I gained back most of what I lost simply by not monitoring what I was eating. It is difficult to keep going at times, especially when you are not seeing my reward. My suggestion to you is to set smaller goals for yourself that way, when you achieve them, you have a strong sense of accomplishment. For example, this month I have set a goal to do 30 minutes of activitity daily: dance, go for a walk, yoga etc. This is a much smaller goal that saying I am going to go to the gym 4-5 times a week (a goal I can never seem to accomplish). If you need more encouragement, just know that you have support, even if I don't know you! Good luck!

LongMom

What's your support network like? With 6 kids, girl, you need one. I have two kids and I don't know what I would do without my friends, MIL, hubby....

I ask, because I think you need to get some help from this network You need to relax, breathe and have some YOU time to reflect. You need some friends/family to discuss all of this with, so they can support and help you. I believe a community raises a child (or six) and the more help the better.

JillyCornwall

Poor you, depression is a terrible thing to battle with, and sadly to lose weight you really do have to be in the right frame of mind to make the right choices for yourself. However giving up will not help you in any way whatsoever, infact might even add to your feelings of frustration and guilt...my suggestion is to make one simple change to your lifestyle each week..and stick to it. Make the choice, simple, achievable and something you can keep up. For example.....1st week..say cut out all sodas. 2nd week go for a short walk at least 5 out of 7 days..3rd week ...1/2 your portions of desserts.....4th week.....change dessert for fruit..etc etc......achieving a little goal each week and adding another the next will help give you something positive to achieve..but not overwhelm you....losing weight is such a positive thing and if you can make changes the wight will drop. You can do it...

linemansgirl

I understand where you are coming from, ALL of it! Nursing, depression, lots of kids, no motivation. :ohwell: In fact, this is my second time to lose over 100 pounds because I DID give up, on myself, on life, on ever being happy.

Both times that I have lost weight I did so while nursing. I have been either pregnant, nursing or both for the last 11 and a half years. :laugh: The first time was10 years ago while I was also on Prozac. This time I have been taking natural things for depression that have been working for me.

Just keep your chin up and keep trying to make the best choices that you can. When you are starving, grab some veggies instead of potato chips. NOT what you want to do most of the time :grumble: , but it does help!!!! :happy: I have had a long term struggle with depression and I feel SO MUCH better when I am eating healthy and exercising.

I dealt with adrenal exhaustion/fatigue a couple years ago. I ended up going to an herbalist who put me on a herb/vitamin regimen that made a WORLD of difference for me. You sound like you could potentially be dealing with the same thing.

My thoughts are a bit scattered right now, my kids aren't being very quiet!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

ClarkMer

Calm down, you can do it! I think part of the problem may be that you are stressing yourself over it. Stress is so bad when you are trying to control your eating habbits. One thing I have found to help with that is to try channeling your stress differently. For example, when I feel stressed rather than heading to the kitchen I go for a walk or a jog. Of course with kids that is not always an option (I have 2 of my own, so I understand)
If you are still hungry after your meal, try drinking a glass of milk, there is a lot of protein in milk, so that can help you fill up. If that doesnt help try a smoothie or a protein shake. There are a lot of calories in those, so use them sparingly as possible. Make sure your meals are balanced also, a small to medium sized serving of protein such as chicken, lean beef, or fish and a lot of veggies. The great thing about veggies is that they have fiber so the help fill you up but they are very low calorie, so you can eat as many of them as you need to (within reason, of course).
I feel your pain on the Zoloft, I am also on a low dose for depression caused by hormonal imbalanced that are being caused by my Mirena that was put in after my 2nd child was born. When I first started taking it I dropped 10lbs really quick because I had no appetite at all. Once my body adjusted to the meds and I got my eating back to normal I stopped losing, and while I have not had a lot of problems at this point, I also have not been trying to lose very long so it still may happen.
For your tiredness/lack of energy- keep in mind that exersizing regularly is an energy booster. I don't know if you work or not, but I have found that on my days off if I get up and workout first thing I have more energy through the day than I do on days that I slack off. You can also try vitamins, since you are dieting you might be depriving your body of some of the nutrients that you need to function. I recommend the beWhole vitapaks from GNC.
Keep your head up and do your best to stay focused. You are strong (you have to be to be a mother of 6!) and YOU CAN DO IT!

marielw

Hi, I'm not breastfeeding, but i have a 13 month old son and am working full time. About 7 or 8 months ago, before i started finding the time to exercise and before i started to really lose the weight, i felt a bit like that - depressed, anxious, fed up of being overweight and just generally tired all the time. Now that i am exercising (admittedly it is hard to find the time), i feel so much better, lighter and with a spring in my step. My sense of humour has returned and life is generally much better. I've got a long way to go still with my weight and my anxiety, but things are ten times better now.

Stick with it - it took a while for my weight to start coming off - i had a 2-3 month plateau between June-August last year, but i kept going and now am 37lbs down.

I know that you say you are tired all the time - i still get tired a lot, but do you have time to exercise? Couldn't you start with gentle exercise, or something that doesn't take too long? Nice walks in the fresh air?

How many calories are you allowing yourself a day? Maybe it's too little if you are always hungry?

Nutritious meals don't have to be more time consuming to prepare - sometimes i find just sticking a load of vegetables in the steamer and some chicken and baked potato in the oven (for example) is much quicker than an unhealthy meal.

Don't give up -im sure you can do it! just give it a bit longer and you might soon see some results.
Take care :flowerforyou:

mparmer

Try to refocus your thoughts from'dieting' to 'healthy eating' and allow yourself some credit that you (your body) are essentially going into shock.

Breastfeeding - don't think of denying yourself or your baby, but think of the 'good' choices you are not only feeding to yourself but to your baby as well.

Medication - yes, many anti-depressants have effect on weight gain/loss but don't discount the natural affect healthy foods and excercise have on your body as well.

Emotional - I know for myself I need positive reinforcement and work well when I can 'reward' myself. So set yourself up with little plans, like: "if I walk/run *#* more minutes today I can treat myself to *reward*" [Hershey kisses (especially the dark chocolate ones) are great for rewards, but just one.]

Tired - remember your body is going into 'shock' and the energy will come in time, healthy eating and exercise will always win out in the end of the energy battle.

Don't give up, it's hard....WE all know it, but just takes time and some work. You can do it, really, you can!

leomom72

don't give up..i have thought of doing it too, but think of all the hard work that would be lost..try upping your calories..i did it, and offered it to a mfp friend, and it worked..we were both plateaued, and upping them has helped..best of luck

tuskegee4

Online support is great, but there is nothing like someone physically pushing you to be the best you can be. Find a partner to take this journey with in your area. Take care of the kids but find time for you also. I read the courage and strength in your post and a fitness partner will see things in you, you don't even know you have. DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF OR YOUR CHILDREN!!!

tracienryan

I was told when you reach a plateau in weight(not losing any more) its because your body thinks thats the appropriate weight form your height and proprotion. It may be tuff but I was told I needed to step it up, eliminate more carbs, exercise etc. I am a mother of four boys. afte having my first three natural, I dropped weight lik there was no tomorrow. my fourth was a c section, I have battled to keep weight off for quite sometime. After my third boy I did teh Atkins and lost 90 pounds. I kept it off for quite sometime until I found out I was pregnant with my fourth. I swear c section has something to do with it. Its been a struggle for me lately because I am on an axiety medicine that makes me extremely tired and makes me want to eat. I am aloso getting married this Oct /I really need to get on a move to lose weight. I am a size 14 and want to be at least a 10 by Oct, I know I can do it Ihave done it before. My fiancee talked me into doing this. Good luck!!:)

dlaplume2

Wow you have a lot going on. Don't give up. I have 5 kids and I know the time just blurrs by and soon they will all be grown. I did try to look at your diary and it is not public. I don't know what you are eating and I am not familiar with anti depressants, but is it possible you are not eating enough? Between nursing and taking care of 5 kids, if you are not feeding your body that could contribute to the tiredness and loss of sleep.
Try to have some safety foods that you don't need to prepare. Carrots are really good dipped in hummus. you could try yogurts, cottage cheese. Then you don't need to cook to have healthy snacks.

Make sure you are drinking all your water. that should help a little. I hope you feel better soon.

take care of yourself. You need to do that so you can take care of your family, so make sure you move yourself up to the top of that list.

:flowerforyou:

Noz7

I'm totally impressed! your life is busy!

I don't want to come off as a know it all, as I haven't achieved much myself... yet....but I have done my homework. Forgive my less than perfect structure - I hope some of this helps.

The first comment is that you shouldn't try to lose weight while breast-feeding because your fat stores all sorts of toxins that will be released into your blood stream and possibly into your child. I think you're already very aware of this.

Depression can be linked to artificial sweeteners, lack of B vitamins particularly B12 (is used to make serotonin), lack of water. Coffee and caffeine and alcohol and refined sugar are the enemies of B vitamins and if you have these, you'll need to supplement.

I recommend the 'Dingle Deal' by Peter Dingle... you should be able to buy the book online or ask for it at your library but the crux of the diet side of it, is to come off all 'white' carbohydrates (bread, pasta, over-processed potato etc) and replace them with healthier options such as fruit and seeds and nuts. This has the effect of helping to stabilise blood sugar.
For example, breakfast of fruit and seeds, the oils etc in the seeds will extend the release of sugar from the fruit across your morning.
Oats and rye are the only grains he recommends.
He also recommends regular exercise across the day (10 min brisk walk from time to time). This is better than running a marathon and he makes the point 'would you rather look like a marathon runner or a sprinter?' Sprinters always look amazing! Marathon runners look like they've got a terminal illness! This is a hormonal response to the type of exercise.

I've taken to having a big salad with cabbage, lettuce, seeds, cheese, a sweet fruit and an oily dressing (measure the oil, so you can track calories). This extends the release of sugar for longer. Some people express it like this: "oil is the cleanest burning energy source". But don't go for heated oils - they must be raw, or use coconut oil for cooking.

I'm finding my calories really easy to stick to and in fact, don't feel like I'm missing out most days - I put this down to the oil and avoiding sugar 'lows'. Have you actually looked up the calorie needs of a lactating woman of your age? Maybe you actually need more? Anyhow, my maintenance is about 2000 calories a day and I feel free to eat as much as this 1 or 2 days of the week - also known as zig zag dieting.

Adele Davis wrote some books in the 1960s-70s based on a literature review of various medical journals (they're old because they're my mum's) and OIL is essential for weight loss, sticking to diets and retaining the weight loss after the diet concludes. The oil should be raw - ie. not cooked - I prefer flax seed, olive and coconut and mix these up from day to day for variety of tastes in salads and smoothies. Coconut is suitable for frying if you feel the urge, it is also reputed to build health and stamina etc. Seriously, coconut oil and c. cream are very helpful for me - highly recommended! If you feel absolutely terrible and tired, drink some water and take a tablespoon of coconut oil - very satisfying. You can also have a lettuce and mayo 'sandwich' - Mayo is very easy to make yourself and will last in your fridge - this way you can be sure you're getting the best quality oil.

I'm wondering if you might also have low blood pressure - can make you feel awful and tired. You sound like the kind of person who will go to a doctor for help and if you do find it is a bit on the low side a herbal remedy is liquorice - must be real liquorice root based.

I'm supplementing Calcium Magnesium and Vitamin E - recommended by Adele Davis and Vit B complex & C if I feel run down. C is burned up when you are stressed and worn out - you probably need to take more of it than you might realise. You can take C until you feel your bowls get loose -aka 'gut tolerance' - totally safe.

Anyhow, I suggest that you don't do any of the 'low fat' or fad diets and go back to your roots. Full fat foods - whole eggs!! Vitamin A, complete protein! yay!!, healthy carbs only and enough of a variety of protein sources. Plus supplements. You can get checked out for various medical problems and hopefully come good:)

One last thing - I love my fresh herbs... flat leaf parsley on eggs, mint on stone fruit/watermelon salads, coriander in more savoury salads, basil on anything Italian. Lemon juice on brocolli or any green steamed thing! Often, these help absorb nutrients better than if you ate each thing alone.

Your body is amazing and can cope with a lot... until it doesn't! It might take a while for you to come good, but it will happen.

cmor2005

Don't lose hope, sweetheart. I know it can be hard and discouraging, but have faith in yourself that you can do it. Stick with it for your kids. Think of how much longer you will live if you have a healthy lifestyle. Think of how you can actively play with the kids as they grow up. You will feel so much better about yourself and will be happier in your relationships, job, etc. It's hard to love others when you don't love yourself (not saying you don't lol just a figure of speech.) Also, stick with it for yourself.

In the past 3 months, I have gone down almost 2 pants sizes. I have noticed a HUGE difference in my body and the way things fit. I have gained so much confidence in myself because of it. I feel happy and I sleep better at night. I found out almost 2 yrs ago that I have Sleep Apnea. One of the main causes of it is obesity. I ended up with insomnia because I was afraid to go to sleep for fear of not waking up. Since I lost weight, I have been sleeping better. I'm hoping that when I get to my goal weight to find out that I no longer have it.

Every little bit counts. Keep your head up. Everyone's body is different. Yours is just making you work even harder for what you want. No one can tear you down but yourself!

fteale

Dieting while breastfeeding isn't really recommended as toxins stored in your fat are released and go into your milk. Also, for some people (not all, I know a few people who have got very thin breastfeeding), it is actually almost impossible to lose weight while breastfeeding as your body will do anything to cling onto those fat reserves so that you can produce milk. I never managed to lose any real weight while bfing (which I did for 5 years, 3 months in all), but within a couple of months of stopping, the weight dropped off my hips (where I was storing) and obviously bust.

That aside, you have 6 children?! I barely get time to exercise with 2. Give yourself a break. You cannot deal with children if you are hungry. You just can't. Hunger makes people ratty and that is not a good state to be in with a lot of children running around.

Really, give yourself a break.

elena99

*Please, don't throw rocks at me!*

What I would do - stop breastfeeding, or wait until baby is 1 and stop. Then top-up the Zoloft - it will numb your emotions and reduce your reaction to stress. You will feel better emotionally and then you'll be able to think about yourself. Then it would be time to start eating right and exercise. After you lose the weight you want - gradually get off Zoloft. By then you'll be skinny and will have one less reason to get emotional and stress out.

I was on antidepressants for PPD after my daughter was born and I felt... numb but not unhappy. Losing weight is frustrating, you lose some, then get tired, gain again, get frustrated, eat, then lose, then get tired and gain again - you better do it while you are on medication so that your emotional roller coaster will be a little bit smoother.