My little sister... Help?

mholmes

So my little sister is 14 almost 15. She has always struggled with her self image and recently she posted a blog where she talks about how much she hates herself and her life. She's commited to a goal of losing 1 pound a day by whatever means necessary. Any words of wisdom as to what I could do to convince her otherwise? I've told her one pound a day is next to impossible and most certainly not healthy but she's "not a baby anymore" and I'm concerned about where she'll end up with her current thought process and goals...

mholmes

So my little sister is 14 almost 15. She has always struggled with her self image and recently she posted a blog where she talks about how much she hates herself and her life. She's commited to a goal of losing 1 pound a day by whatever means necessary. Any words of wisdom as to what I could do to convince her otherwise? I've told her one pound a day is next to impossible and most certainly not healthy but she's "not a baby anymore" and I'm concerned about where she'll end up with her current thought process and goals...

lifesaver

If she's serious, I think it would be best to find her some help. She might be looking for attention, in which case you shouldn't just blow it off but it might not mean she needs psychiatric help. I don't know, that's a tough one! if she's saying she hates herself she might benefit from talking to someone, though. I'm sorry, I hope it works out :flowerforyou:

LML79

Yeah it really is a tough one. When I was that age weighing in at less than 100 lbs and thought I was fat there was no talking sense into me either. I wouldn't eat lunch at school....ever and can't believe i actually survived! Things have changed since then of course but it wouldn't hurt to talk to her doctor about it....... especially if she is actually really thinking she can make herself lose a lb each day!

jlwhelan1

Start by telling her you think she is beautiful and wonderful, but you know she is struggling.
If you can:
Offer to take her to a dietitian for a detailed eating plan.
Offer to go to the gym with her and perhaps hire a personal trainer to work with her to develop and appropriate plan and goals (it would not hurt if the trainer were male and attractive and able to tell her straight that the only way to a beautiful healthy body is to make healthy choices.)

It sounds like she needs to have some sessions with a counselor as well, to help her deal with the thoughts of self destruction that are there. Posts like these scare me b/c I have a dd nearing this age group.

Be well.

Phoenix_Rising

can you talk her into using this site, or one like it, to lose a pound a week? or even two pounds a week?

mholmes

can you talk her into using this site, or one like it, to lose a pound a week? or even two pounds a week?

I'm going to try. It's 11:30 am here so I'm sure her lil butt is still sleeping (man I miss the summers and no school) but I did leave her a message to ask her to call me.

gabi_ele

Not to long ago my dd was at that age and she hated everything, I think it comes with that particular age. There is some reconstruction going on in their brains and for some reason they think they know it all and everybody else is stupid. (Exept other teenagers of course) It will pass, find Banks article of 700 calories day and still overweight and let her read it, but since she already knows everything I doubt she will listen.
There are no quick fixes for teenagers and I don't know if she has someone she looks up to or not, sometimes they will listen to a teacher or maybe a friends mom she thinks is cool? Another thing to get her involved in would be valentiering, maybe in a homeless shelter or a childrens home where she would be able to compare her " awful" life with others?
All I know is that around 18 or 19 they get their minds back and you will be able to reason with her once more , untill then hold on to the rollercoaster ride and pray.....
I am proud to tell you my dd survived her teenage years, is now a proud member of the US Armee stationed in Iraq, has met the love of her life and is planning on getting married in May. She thinks I am an " awsome" mom even if I don't send her homemade cookies and popsicles, I take care of her most prized possesions ( her dog Zavier and her 2007 Mazda 6) and she even loves her dad whom she now askes for advice .......

ali106

oh Megan she is beautiful just like you!

I think you can really help! I agree w/ everyone start by telling her how beautiful she is....introduce her to site....and get her everything you can on how starving yourself can ruin your body....and chances for really being healthy and how it can only make it harder for her to lose weight eventually....ugh...teen years are sooo hard girl...hugs, I was a mess as a teen w/ my self image, I thought I was sooo ugly, fat, because I was not pencil rail thin w/ a young boys figure...I thought being skinny would end all my problems and make me more confident...sigh

Maybe if you tell her how you may have felt at that age, how you maybe were insecure....etc... it helps for them to hear they are not alone...I know it sure helps me....anyway...keeping you in my prayers and thoughts girl!

big hugs for being a great big sister...I love my little sister who is 8 yrs younger, I think you guys are similar in age difference...they end up being your best friend girl, I couldn't spend a day w/out that girl in my life....best of luck!
hugs!!!!
Ali :flowerforyou:

ChubbyBunny

Oh, she's pretty!

I think you are being a great sis.

I agree with the suggestions that the others have made here.
I hope it will help.

I starved forever and look where it got me....50lbs+ in the fluffy phase....not fun

shannahrenee

Okay I hope this doesn't sound awful, but I wouldn't be too concerned about the "goal of losing one pound a day" thing just yet. As we all know, it's really hard to stick to something like that and after a couple days she'll likely give up on that. What I would be more concerned about is the fact that she says she hates herself and her life. Speaking as someone who had serious depression for awhile and probably a mild eating disorder as a result, definitely the bigger issue is how she feels about herself. Although it's likely she'll come out of that too on her own, it's a hard road to have to deal with alone. I think everyone here gave great advice about getting help and whatnot, but I think you being there for her is the best thing you can do (I wouldn't recommend trying to throw her into treatment with a professional just yet, that can be very intimidating). When my sister approached me when I was having problems it really made me think about things differently. So that's my advice, hope it helps! Keep us posted.

mholmes

Thank you :flowerforyou:

peej76

Awww, she's beautiful:flowerforyou: Just be there for her, and try your best to teach her about being healthy. I know at that age it's all about image and I hate that! It's hard at that age, because they think they know it all and think that nothing bad can happen to them, my son is going through the same thing as far as his looks go. Just inform her the best you can about the dangers of fad dieting and so on. My lil sis always listened to her big sis, even though it sometimes took awhile to get through her to her thick skull lol! Be patient:flowerforyou:

overthehillsandfaraway

So my little sister is 14 almost 15. She has always struggled with her self image and recently she posted a blog where she talks about how much she hates herself and her life. She's commited to a goal of losing 1 pound a day by whatever means necessary. Any words of wisdom as to what I could do to convince her otherwise? I've told her one pound a day is next to impossible and most certainly not healthy but she's "not a baby anymore" and I'm concerned about where she'll end up with her current thought process and goals...

Inform your charming little sis that based on medical statistics, she'll most likely crash back into all the weight lost (sometimes more) on a crash diet or plunge into a dangerous situation with her body and well being. If she thought she was depressed before, wait until her body starts demanding the nourishment it deserves. That's when all the wires really get crossed!

She's definitely not a baby but she isn't an adult either. Coming from personal experience, kindly remind her that the "teenage intellict" is just a phase and there are changes she can make to achieve the results she wants.

From 15 to 17, I remained stubborn and remained persistant that I'd lose weight without exercise or simply just be a big huge fatguy. Why? Because I "knew better and wasn't a baby anymore." That's when my doctor stepped in and gave me a reality check of the lifetime.

You both have my support. :happy:

sindyb9

My daughter went through this at that age as well. Just be there for her if she is talking to you about it maybe you are what she is looking for to help. Spend some quality time with her take her to the gym or just hang out. A good looking instructor wouldnt hurt.