Bad day continuing to get worse

bdewitt92

This post is not about my diet and exercise, but more about how my relationship has affected it today. My boyfriend and i have been fighting a lot lately and he's been working a lot more over time and therefore i have only been able to see him on weekends instead of everyday. As you may assume spending so little time together has put a strain on our relationship. This morning he called me and i get horrible service on my cell phone in the dorms and so i did my best to speak up and speak clearly and i may have come across as angry and mean, which is how he took it. He then hung up on me and we began the text fighting. He told me i didn't love him anymore and that if i did then i didn't show it like a girlfriend should. I wasn't acting like a girlfriend should and on and on the fight goes. I spent the beginning of my morning crying. somehow the fight proceeded to me asking him to come over after work so we could talk and work out our problems and he refused. He basically told me to have a nice life and that this was goodbye. I then spent the remaining of my time before class buried in my toilet losing what little i had forced myself to eat. Hardly made it through class. I have hardly eaten since then and have been crying and hyperventilating in my bed hugging the pillow he keeps here. I'm not sure what i'm doing posting this, i suppose i just needed to vent and i know the people i have made friends with on here are a great support system.

crystal10584

I rarely see my boyfriend except on weekends. our work schedules clash and I'm in school... but he's always very supportive of me and my decisions... so I'm not sure why not seeing each would strain your relationship, if anything it should make it stronger... maybe give him a few days to cool off and see if he wants to give it another go. If not... then I'm very sorry but know it isn't the end of the world.

susinator

things are going to be alright. You will find someone who you will get along with better, if you all do not work out. Keep your chin up, every relationship goes through ups and downs try not to make yourself sick over it. Take care.

RTricia

he sounds stressed, let him have his time away for a bit. He might cool off in a few hours and come back to talk. If he doesn't, then you don't want a man who will not communicate with you when difficulties arise in a relationship.

potluck965

Yeah, it hurts like hell and a bunch of old folks telling you it will get better really probably won't help.

But, you are very young and you will most likely have many "loves" before you find the "one". Boys/men are a lot less mature at your age than girls/women and they come and go, hot and cold, like the wind.

If he is that easily put out he is not worth making yourself sick over him. You owe it to yourself to concentrate on your health and your education. Love and romance will come.

je24gordon

This may be something that will be hard to hear, but in my opinion, he isn't worth the time you are giving him right now.

A boyfriend/girlfriend is supposed to be there for you through good times and bad, regardless of how much time you actually spend physically together. The more important thing is that you are emotionally and mentally together, which, it appears to me, that your "boyfriend" isn't either of those things.

Yes, I'm a guy, but I also know that this "guy" treating you the way he did, and saying those hurtful things, isn't what you're supposed to be when you're a "significant other". He is what gives us good guys a bad name.

I'm sorry on behalf of the male gender for what he's put you through. But quite frankly, if he's gonna bail on you this easy for something out of your control, imagine what he'd do when LIFE got really tough.

Consider yourself better off without him, let him come crawling back to you when he realizes what he let slip through his fingers, then step all over him. You deserve better.

If you ever need to talk, you know where to go. Take care.

kimmybefit66

BIG (((hugs)))

suzieqdiva

Hang in there.. just give him room to cool off & then try to meet up, Sometimes both sides get angry & communication then does not work. Instead when you do meet him.. try to connect with who you really love & explain what happened & have a open communication of expectations & what you can do. Relationships are not easy.. and misunderstandings do not help. It is best to clear the air.. then decide if this is somebody you want to continue with. Hugs:)

Azzrielish

He then hung up on me and we began the text fighting. He told me i didn't love him anymore and that if i did then i didn't show it like a girlfriend should. I wasn't acting like a girlfriend should and on and on the fight goes. I spent the beginning of my morning crying. somehow the fight proceeded to me asking him to come over after work so we could talk and work out our problems and he refused. He basically told me to have a nice life and that this was goodbye.

I feel terrible for you - I remember how painful it was to fight like this. I'm sorry that you are feeling so much pain right now.

I just quoted part of your post cos I wanted to point a couple of things out to you (that you might not be ready to hear) - he seems very manipulative (telling you that you dont act like a girlfriend, have a nice life etc) and he is obviously deliberately trying to hurt you.

Maybe he's having a hard time and he is taking it out on you - but is that right? How dare he tell you that you dont love him?

I spent four years in an awful relationship and it wasnt till I was out of it that I could look back and realise just what a mess it was and that I was so much better out of it - I was married and I stuck it out on sheer principle of not wanting to be divorced but I was miserable all the time.

Now here I am after seven years with a pretty fabulous guy who NEVER speaks down to me, never tells me how I feel or think (pet peeve of mine) and makes me feel loved and happy every day. Do we have bad days where one of us is grumpy and not so fun to be around? Yep. But when I think about my relationship its all good and I'm smiling even as I think about him and write this.

So, its good to vent and if that is all you need then thats okay

But ask yourself the bigger questions - does he do this often? does he make you feel happy more than he makes you feel sad? does he make you feel good about yourself most of the time or feel like you are worthless? Only you can weigh these things up - but if the balance isn't positive think hard about how you handle this - because he WILL come back to you and you should make sure its on your terms.

Never settle for less - there's the right person out there for all of us, sometimes you just have to find the wrong one to know what you really want.

Chin up and I hope you start to feel better soon.

cheryldeloach

Life is too short and you are too beautiful!

Sarahr73

This may be something that will be hard to hear, but in my opinion, he isn't worth the time you are giving him right now.

A boyfriend/girlfriend is supposed to be there for you through good times and bad, regardless of how much time you actually spend physically together. The more important thing is that you are emotionally and mentally together, which, it appears to me, that your "boyfriend" isn't either of those things.

Yes, I'm a guy, but I also know that this "guy" treating you the way he did, and saying those hurtful things, isn't what you're supposed to be when you're a "significant other". He is what gives us good guys a bad name.

I'm sorry on behalf of the male gender for what he's put you through. But quite frankly, if he's gonna bail on you this easy for something out of your control, imagine what he'd do when LIFE got really tough.

Consider yourself better off without him, let him come crawling back to you when he realizes what he let slip through his fingers, then step all over him. You deserve better.

If you ever need to talk, you know where to go. Take care.

I agree. I pretty much only see my fiance on the weekends. Sometimes (maybe 2 days out of the 5) I get to see him for 5-10 minutes before work or 30 minutes when he gets home at night (when I am almost asleep and just listen to him talk, no talking from my end). It is stressful on the relationship sometimes, and was more so in the beginning of our schedule changes, but he was very considerate of using our time together on the weekends as quality time and making the most of it. Your man should be the same way, understanding that this is your guys' schedule for now and you need to make the most of the time you have together.
I'm sorry it has escalated into him saying goodbye, but just hang in there. You did what you could on your part by asking to talk about things, he's the one that made it worse than it needed to be. Just try to stay strong, I know it's easier said than done, but you will feel better after a while.

popsicle33

I am sad to hear about your horrible and crappy day. Sounds like both of you are having a really hard time with the changes going on in your life together. He seems pretty oversensitive if you ask me. You definitely have very strong feelings for one another, given how much he has hurt you and how hurt he seems to feel.

I hate to think that his treatment of you has pushed your buttons so it has made you sick. Please take care of YOU at this time. You have control over your own destiny, whether this guy is a part of it or not! You're beautiful inside and out.

And you have lots of friends here who care about your destiny!

lcoulter23

I had a boyfriend who liked to pull stunts like that at one time. He liked playing games and saying that I was a horrible person and calling me names. I finally realized he wasn't worth my time when I tried out for a play that my college was doing and he told me that there was no way I would make it and get a part because I wasn't a good enough actress. He was forced to eat his words when I got a part and a pretty big one at that. Then he signed up to be in a different play that was going on the same weekend as mine was so he didn't have to go to mine. It was a wake up call as it showed me just how important I was to him. He topped things off by assaulting me a month after me breaking up with him, causing me to become pregnant. Did I mention that while we were together he also stole over 2,600 dollars out of my bank account? If I were you I would drop this guy like he was a hot potato.

bdewitt92

Because so many of you have replied to this post i will generalize my reply. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! And all of you were so right! He isn't worth my time anymore. We have been through so much, we got engaged so early in our relationship, set a date, i picked out my ring and his and began making the wedding plans since our wedding was in a little over a year (from that time). We mad the plan of me moving in with him after this semester of college and everything was set. One day he called me and told me he wanted to stay engaged but not set a date so soon and i was ok with that. (more time to plan an even bigger wedding). A little while later he said we shouldn't be engaged anymore (at least not so early in the relationship). He always promised it would happen eventually but that we had rushed things. And this hurt me but i understood and dealt with the pain quickly then continued to plan the move this summer. Then it became only a slight possibility that i could even move in with him since his sister(who hates my guts) also lives there. And he suggested that i could possibly only move in for the summer and then live in the dorms at school for another year before we got a place of our own. We have seen each other every day since the day we met. (literally). The past two weeks he has had to work over time and only have been able to see each other during the weekends (as i said in the first post). I feel like instead of going forwards we are going backwards. I have talked to him briefly since he got out of work but we never talked about the fight...i think he's acting like it never happened. Which isn't good. Baisically i know i should take those red flags and run for the hills but, i'm not ready to give up. Not yet. Thank you eceryone for your support and concern and wonderful compliments. A girl needs to hear them every now and then.