The wandering eye....

UneJolieFemme

I actually giggle and tease my husband when he does this. He is not at all one to gawk but every now and then I'll see him take notice of a hot girl. I am not at ALL offended by this.... why... because sometimes I'm noticing her too!!! LOL... not in the way he is mind you but I'm thinking... wowzers that girl is freakin' gorgeous. As a married woman, are you completely oblivious to an attractive guy? I'm not. I notice good-looking men and think, "Hello hottie!!!" I call them like I see them. Looking at someone and appreciating their aesthetic advantage is quite common and we all do it. Gawking and commenting is taking it a bit far... but noticing? What's wrong with that? My husband can notice all he wants to as long as he's coming home to me and treating me right. And really... I work quite hard to make sure that what he's got at home is pretty damn good...

Ha, thats what upsets me the most in the first place : I work SO damn hard to make sure what he's got at home is good that
I find it insulting when he still needs to look elsewhere. But it is nice to read all your replies it def. puts a new perspective on this.

rileamoyer

Guys look till they die (or are totally blind). Has nothing to do with you. Visit a retirement community some time. 90 year olds will still flirt with young waitresses. On the flip side, know a young lady of 75 who just married her toy boy of 60 LoL.

If you want him to break his neck, take him to a good motorcycle rally some day - ;-)

stephanielynn76

I actually giggle and tease my husband when he does this. He is not at all one to gawk but every now and then I'll see him take notice of a hot girl. I am not at ALL offended by this.... why... because sometimes I'm noticing her too!!! LOL... not in the way he is mind you but I'm thinking... wowzers that girl is freakin' gorgeous. As a married woman, are you completely oblivious to an attractive guy? I'm not. I notice good-looking men and think, "Hello hottie!!!" I call them like I see them. Looking at someone and appreciating their aesthetic advantage is quite common and we all do it. Gawking and commenting is taking it a bit far... but noticing? What's wrong with that? My husband can notice all he wants to as long as he's coming home to me and treating me right. And really... I work quite hard to make sure that what he's got at home is pretty damn good...

Ha, thats what upsets me the most in the first place : I work SO damn hard to make sure what he's got at home is good that
I find it insulting when he still needs to look elsewhere. But it is nice to read all your replies it def. puts a new perspective on this.

You've got to consider this... no matter how beautiful or fit one is... there is always someone better... right? Does my husband look at me and think I'm the hottest thing that ever walked the planet... not at all... because I'm not! However he does think I'm a hottie... and not just any hottie... HIS hottie... that's what makes me so special to him. It doesn't matter what other ladies he notices or appreciates... I am his reality... and honey he ain't complaining! Men are very visual... they are programmed to be that way. Do not take it personally because it isn't a slight against YOU. I can tell you for a fact there have been times my husband has been in a group of women... and he's noticing them... and his eyes have come around back to me.... and I know he is thinking... "Some of these chicks look alright... but this one... she's mine... and I'm alright with that!"

jjhenry5

A friend of mine used to say, "it doesn't matter where you build up your appetite as long as you only eat at home."

Jovialation

srsly.

I jokingly tell my bf we should take our waitress (or random girls) home with us. I dont get the big deal

Wow, you are very secure in your relationship and you have not one ounce of jealousy in you to say such things. That is great.
I think I've been cheated on one too many times to feel so secure. I hope you never get your heart broken in this way.

oddly enough, we've been on and off since 05. hes left me for exes twice.
I just dont see the point in dwelling. dwelling just asks for problems.

kimber607

Yeah, I never get jealous or frustrated. To be honest, hubby and I check out women together all the time.

He says, Hon, you gotta see this woman!
Me: Yikes! She is smokin'! So, did you want to get the whole wheat pasta again?
Him: Yeah, that was really good.

The end.

Yup...same here...it's like..she is hot..now let's carry on..LOL

michelegbowman

SO frustrating. I hear ya.

I went on a cruise shortly after we were married and I was one hot woman. No kids yet and still in that honey moon phase.

We were playing black jack and a pretty girl walked by and my husband turned all the way around in his chair to look at her.

Everyone at the black jack tables noticed and gave me sympathetic and pitying glances.

I was so hurt.

I still am.

I just wouldn't ever do that to him.

ebgbjo

I love my car..love love love it. However, doesn't mean I am not going to look at newer or customized models of it when I see it on the road

jackiemarie

I was just in the Emergency room with my fiance when he broke his ankle, we were waiting in the room and he (half) jokingly said "I hope I get a hott nurse" and in walks a smoking hott MALE nurse! Lol it was hilariuos he got his Hott nurse alright!!!!

binary_jester

It is like admiring a painting. You can admire it from afar but you don't take it off the wall and handle it. If his glancing at a woman is the least of your problems... nice.

binary_jester

I was just in the Emergency room with my fiance when he broke his ankle, we were waiting in the room and he (half) jokingly said "I hope I get a hott nurse" and in walks a smoking hott MALE nurse! Lol it was hilariuos he got his Hott nurse alright!!!!

You should have said your fiancé needed a sponge bath.

UneJolieFemme

SO frustrating. I hear ya.

I went on a cruise shortly after we were married and I was one hot woman. No kids yet and still in that honey moon phase.

We were playing black jack and a pretty girl walked by and my husband turned all the way around in his chair to look at her.

Everyone at the black jack tables noticed and gave me sympathetic and pitying glances.

I was so hurt.

I still am.

I just wouldn't ever do that to him.

Im sorry you are still hurt... I totally understand, I would have been mortified.

TDGee

I was just in the Emergency room with my fiance when he broke his ankle, we were waiting in the room and he (half) jokingly said "I hope I get a hott nurse" and in walks a smoking hott MALE nurse! Lol it was hilariuos he got his Hott nurse alright!!!!

You should have said your fiancé needed a sponge bath.

Unless you are covered in something, I wouldn't make requests like that in any ED that I know of. Emergency Nurses historically have a low threshold for sponge bath humor; it's just too busy and the crazy perv in leathers with police escort just said something similar, creepy creepy!

keb80

I don't blame you one bit for getting upset with your husband... I'm sure if you were staring at some young stud , he wouldn't take it to well. I think its disrespectful and rude to do that!! That being said though, I wouldn't take it to mean that YOU don't look good. I think some men just can't help it....

arewethereyet

Quick, true story.

I was 6 mo preg with my 3rd kid. Hubs, my 2 and 4 yr old and myself were walking from the grocery store to the car with a cartload. I was exhausted, grumpy and the kids were hungry when I noticed an old high school friend was quickly approaching.

She was slim, rested and holding the keys to a nice new sporty car. Hair all in place, makeup perfect, slim jeans and tight top and pretty shoes with painted toenails.

I wanted to crawl under a rock with the big belly, smelly sneaks and grumbly kids and hubs.

She came up and 'HI!!" and proceeds to tell me she looks great. Hubs is nice and takes the boys and groceries to the old station wagon to unload so I can catch up for a moment with her.

I tell her I am so jealous! She looks great and stayed so slim and young looking. She :ohwell: at me and said " Well my husband just left me because we were planning on a family and I found out I can't have kids. I have a great job, am lonely every night, and wish with all my heart to have just a piece of what you have right now"

We both stood there and cried at how our lives were turning out and promised we would enjoy some of what God had given us.

I found out later she married a guy and adopted a kid.......so she got her wish.

BUT I never, ever wished to be anyone else ever again.

You bubs loves ya and he was just doing what comes natural to men. Talk to him and ask him to be less obvious next time, cuz it hurt. I bet he does!

:flowerforyou: Jeannie

koosdel

I'll bet he was checking out her outfit thinking, "My beautiful wonderfully gorgeous sexy hot fine loving bride could wear that way better than that smelly skank."


Yup, that's defnatly what it was.

Karleyyy

I see it differently. It is human nature. I think you are over-thinking it, he is with you, not her. It doesn't hurt to look.

Karleyyy

I'll bet he was checking out her outfit thinking, "My beautiful wonderfully gorgeous sexy hot fine loving bride could wear that way better than that smelly skank."


Yup, that's defnatly what it was.

For sure!

justsummie

Quick, true story.

I was 6 mo preg with my 3rd kid. Hubs, my 2 and 4 yr old and myself were walking from the grocery store to the car with a cartload. I was exhausted, grumpy and the kids were hungry when I noticed an old high school friend was quickly approaching.

She was slim, rested and holding the keys to a nice new sporty car. Hair all in place, makeup perfect, slim jeans and tight top and pretty shoes with painted toenails.

I wanted to crawl under a rock with the big belly, smelly sneaks and grumbly kids and hubs.

She came up and 'HI!!" and proceeds to tell me she looks great. Hubs is nice and takes the boys and groceries to the old station wagon to unload so I can catch up for a moment with her.

I tell her I am so jealous! She looks great and stayed so slim and young looking. She :ohwell: at me and said " Well my husband just left me because we were planning on a family and I found out I can't have kids. I have a great job, am lonely every night, and wish with all my heart to have just a piece of what you have right now"

We both stood there and cried at how our lives were turning out and promised we would enjoy some of what God had given us.

I found out later she married a guy and adopted a kid.......so she got her wish.

BUT I never, ever wished to be anyone else ever again.

You bubs loves ya and he was just doing what comes natural to men. Talk to him and ask him to be less obvious next time, cuz it hurt. I bet he does!

:flowerforyou: Jeannie

That's a beautiful story.

I've found myself drooling over the carefully edited lives of some of my friends on FB only to later find that they don't really have it all that much better than I do.

BellySoonGone

I think I see things differently....but
I think it's natural and human nature....I think he took a quick glance at an attractive women and it had/has nothing to do with you...or how you look....if u wore make-up or not....
It never bothered me...as long as his jaw didn't touch the gorund and he made it beyond obvious..LOL
I think it is more about you and how you feel about yourself than hubby

Just how I see it
Hang in there...being a new mom is tough and I think I lived in yoga pants for a good year after my kids were born

Well said... insecurities won't help the issue.. on the contrary.

BellySoonGone

I was just in the Emergency room with my fiance when he broke his ankle, we were waiting in the room and he (half) jokingly said "I hope I get a hott nurse" and in walks a smoking hott MALE nurse! Lol it was hilariuos he got his Hott nurse alright!!!!

HA, that's a funny story!

WinKitty

I want you to know that the hurt you felt in that moment and the resulting insecurities are totally VALID. Don't just blow them off. Talk to him about it, but also understand that it is truly, very much hard-wired into a man's brain to be highly aware of women (in general) in any given setting.

There was this study on sexual attraction that I read some time ago where men were polled and whatnot. One of the questions was something to the effect of: when you see a good-looking woman walk into the store you're shopping in, how does it affect you? Some percentage of men (single AND happily married) said they actively look for that woman throughout their shopping trip. Some percentage said that they are magnetically drawn to think of her, and where she is in location to them, like a pin in a Google map, and some percentage said that they have to make a strong conscious effort not to think about her, and do the best that they possibly can, especially in the presence of their significant others.

I was so interested in this study because my husband gave women the eye and it wounded me deeply every time, and NO ONE could convince me that it wasn't a big deal. I felt like I wasn't good enough. I read that study and two things happened: I had actual science saying THEY CANNOT HELP IT, EVEN IF THEY WANT TO, and I realized that the insecurities belonged to me alone. I felt inadequate, and I was the most vulnerable after I had our last child, but that was something I had to work on, and I did--with his loving support.

He loves YOU, and he'll do his best, and all you can do is accept that he's fighting evolution, to try to let you know that you are the most important (by only giving her a glance, opposed to being far more curious). He truly is. So keep that in mind when you're communicating about how those glances made you feel.

Good luck.

justsummie

A couple weeks ago I went to the grocery store with my husband and I just happened to notice about 10 or 12 male employees who would normally work "behind the scenes" out on the sales floor. Having worked in a similar environment for many years I say to my husband "Bet there is a hot girl around" and at that moment we spotted her: a tall beautiful blond in a tiny skirt totally oblivious to all the men who had stopped stocking shelves to ogle her. It was truly comical.

Run4iiiiiit

Certain women will get my attention. period. they are not my type...i have no interest, but i'm finna look. i mean no disrespect to my wife. that ***** has nothing on my wife...but i'm lookin'...can't help it.