Anyone Else?

CuteAndCurvy83

Since starting my journey a few months back, I have lost almost 30lbs. And I feel great! As of late something bothers me though. Fat People! LOL I mean don't get me wrong, I'm not looking at them and judging them, I don't think less of them, I don't think I am anything better then they are, but as I lose the weight and become a more healthy me, I can't help but feel bad for them and what they are doing to themselves and their future. I don't think weight or clothing size makes anyone better looking or better then anyone else, but even looking at my sister I feel bad knowing that shes not healthy and theres nothing that I can do to really change that, How do I get her to even think about losing weight or becoming active without sounding like a health nut or just a total b!itch? she used to tell my mom that she was worried about MY Health (we are all overweight) and now that I've lost, we are the same weight however I'm losing and you can see that shes gaining. anyone else find it hard to have people around them not living healthy and just want to grab ahold of them and wake them up??

Nkauj_Lis

Everyone has their own way of thinking. I respect them for whatever decisions they make. If they are not ready to make a lifestyle change, no one can force them. I am doing it for myself and could not careless if others are or not. When you are at your goal weight and maitiaining for 2-3 years, they will see and at that time you can inspire them. Look how long it's taking us to make our journey. Others may feel the same way towards us as we feel about others now.

Adsnwfld

I've turned into a "born again thin person" I've caught myself being critical of others.
I don't think their is anything wrong with trying to help, you just have to back off if it isn't working. I try to lead by example. Some people at work have seen me and have increased their working out since I did it, why not them.
I used to eat out all the time, now I almost never eat out and that has also had some influence on people around me.

Paola_Juarez

Can you find your sister's motivators? is it looks? is it health? is it clothing? is it friendships? money? what does she like to do? by identifying a true "turn on" you may be able to modify the message of "being fit" or being healthy to fit her motivation and then she would listen. does she like competition? may be you can make it into a "game" where the one who loses most % body fat gets the other one to do the errands, or laundry, grocery shopping, or may be something girly, like do the manicure or a pedicure, etc.

You can also ask her to take an overall test to check on her sugar, cholesterol, triglycerides, etc, and work out a plan for her. The Engine 2 diet book is something that could inspire her and the recipes are simple and easy to do at home.

get creative, but first find out what her motivator may be, then taylor the message.

starboardzor

I think your feelings are legit. And you're right that people don't respond well to what they see as "nagging" (even though you don't intend it to be that way!). I think the best thing you can do is continue to look and feel better. People will see the change in you and want it for themselves. If they ask, share your success story and hopefully it will inspire them! It just sucks when important people, like family members, don't want to jump on board right away... but people have to do things in their own time, right?

superstarcassie

I do not judge- I just live my life and work hard for myself. If others want my advise, they will seek it on their own terms. I know that it took me years to wake up and realize that I needed to become healthier. I try to be compassionate towards people that are not living healthy- I didn't want to be judged when I was very very overweight. Just realize that by setting out to achieve your goals, you may be inspiring others. Never forget what it feels like to be judged for your weight- it may make you think twice.

MzBug

There is only one thing worse than an ex-smoker..... an ex-fat person! From personal experience, don't tell a fat person that they are doing harm to themselves. Unless that person has come to the realization that they need to lose weight, AND are ready to do so, AND come to you for advice... telling them anything will fall on deaf ears. It may even make them turn to food for comfort. Food doesn't judge you, food doesn't tell you that you are a fat loser, food doesn't 'yammer' at you about anything. Food makes you feel full, satisfied, warm, secure, and happy. Why would they listen to you when you are 'yammering' and making them feel bad?

If someone comes to me and asks how I am doing it, I tell the truth. I can tell by the look in their face if they are interested or not. If it is a case of polite interest I shut up. If they really want to know I will tell them about MFP, then I shut up. If they continue to ask questions I will answer as needed. I will not bring the subject up first in any conversation. I feel bad for anyone that is in ANY situation where they COULD help themselves, but won't bother to put forth any effort to even try.

You can lead a horse to water... etc etc etc. Don't drown the horse!

CuteAndCurvy83

thanks for the input. Like I said I'm not really judging her,because I know just 3-4 short months ago I was in the same place. It's just hard to see someone so unhappy about their weight just go on with it, I just want to let her know She CAN do it. it may be hard but If I Can do it (with what little willpower I have) So can she.