OT: Sort of...WWYD about "insulting friend" who contacted me

susanswan

Drop her like a bad habit and if she asks, just say, "I am on the road to a more positive life and your comments, whether intended to be funny or mean or anything else, hurt my feelings and don't feel like something I want to include in my life. If you want to be friends in the future, I will certainly consider it, but right now I think it will be difficult for me to forgive your hurtful comments without feeling like I accept your words. Congratulations on your engagement and a happy life together." Buh Bye!

Until she can be respectful and reply with "sorry" rather than "I was only joking," she is a drain on your life. Call her when you know you are confident enough in yourself to let her back in. It's hard enough to do what we are doing when everything is going well. Mean people only hurt us more!

Best of luck with everything!

Very well put.

spcopps

Thanks! That is how I feel too but also..part of me wonders where we draw the line of "forgive and forget."

Honestly I don't think this is an issue of "forgive and forget". You can forgive someone and STILL not be friends with her. Just because you want to remove negative things (people included) from your life doesn't mean you don't forgive them, it just means you are doing what is best for YOU. It also doesn't mean you can't still be sympathetic for her because you KNOW in your heart if she continues with this behavior she will never be able to have a true friend, which is sad but doesn't mean you need to expose yourself to negative behavio just so she can have a friend. I know the bible says to forgive but no where do I remember reading where it says you have to stay around them. JMO

30togomoveit

Oh she hasn't asked me to officially be in the wedding now that she's engaged. I was just saying that growing up or even before I let her know my true feelings...she always told me I'd be in her wedding "someday" when she found the right one to marry!

Unfortunately, this was not an isolated incident but I'd say it was the worst comment thus far!

I do believe that she is one that is not confident in her own skin! She feels this crazy need to bring others down. Crazy enough, I know people in real life that I have only known a very short time (either thru WW or meeting them at the gym) that I would NEVER talk to this way, and we aren't even best friends! That just puts it into perspective for me!

This "friend" has a medical condition that has required steroids to control it when it flares up. The steriods have caused her to gain weight in the past! I NEVER once said a word to her about that!! NEVER!!!

I have been struggling w/ my weight loss (been up and down the past 3 yrs) but NO ONE has said..WOW..you really aren't doing well on WW, are you! So...why should she get away w/ it!

thanks for opening the doors for me w/ all of the input! I really don't know why i feel a slight obligation to her b/c I don't need her drama. I think it really boils down to the TIME that we have known each other. I don't know why that keeps weighing on me. It shouldn't since she doesn't value the time that we have known each other.

Thanks again!

FabiolaEnvy♥

girl you dont need someone who is going to treat you like ****, with everything you do.
my best friend did that to me.

i let it go.. and not only that. she the one that broke of the friendship over and over and over again.
until this last one i finally said no.

and she always has to say something about me... like im being immature about things and how she thinks im the pathetic one. when in reality i never said anything to her. nothing negative, i was not being opinionated, and nor was i being rude. she was the rude one.

you dont need someone who constantly putting you down, or make you less than your really. are. you need to be around people who wants a better life and a healthier life.

here a quote: "Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." — Mark Twain

MissGeorgiaPeachy

Wow! I have an ex-best friend exactly like that. Sometimes, no matter what kind of history you have, you just have to break off ties for your own sanity and happiness. I've learned over the years that real friends will always be encouraging no matter what. Real friends want you to succeed and be happy because they care about you.

You are not being over-sensitive at all! That's just plain rude! You need to surround yourself with people who have positive energy and can offer you encouragement, love and support because people with negative energy will bring you down with them. That's their goal in life, to make everyone as miserable as they are. She may be disguising her jealousy/misery/whatever as passive aggressive joking. If she wants to be a mean, miserable person, let her do it in the world she's created for herself. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment and you're right not to speak to her.

Amy62575

I know I already commented, but I also wanted to add that you sound like a genuinely nice person. And sometimes people mistake kindness for weakness. She is obviously used to saying whatever she wants without any repercussions. This actually feeds the monster, so to speak. I don't think that ANYTHING you say will change how she treats you. Remember that we can't control anyone's behavior but our own. You definitely deserve better than what she has to offer.