People say hurtful things...

sarglava

I think people can be rude in general and it extendes to judgement for being heavy or thin. I went out to eat with some co-works and was sitting at the end of the booth, the waitress took everyone's order and then just started to walk away!!! I was like "hey! I haven't ordered yet" and she said "I just assumed you didn't eat because your so skinny". My agent sends me out on audtions for crack *kitten*, unattractive, character and sickly. It makes me paranoid like if I lose the look no one will hire me anymore, yet at the same time to hear how ugly you are in each and every brakedown sent your way it really plays on your self-esteem. I think as we venture out into the world each day we have to remind ourselves to be kind to everyone and not to judge fat, skinny, tall, short we all have the ability to hurt or be hurt at the same time we have the ability to inspire, uplift and encourage.

I'm glad you posted this. We all have issues with our weight. Skinny, fat, muscular... it's a shame we live in a society where we have to put down other people. It's human nature to focus on the differences, but we can be civilized and learn how to keep our comments to ourselves.

FearAnLoathing

Me and my husban went to get on a ride once an they told him i should ride on the inside cuz i would squish him.

b00b0084

I grew up a heavier kid. Once I hit puberty I started gaining weight (and I was a stick before that). My brothers friends that he hung out with all the time would not let me hang out with them. If I wanted to play on the swingset or in the tree house they would scream "hold on tight the hippo is coming". At 10-11 years old that is very hurtful. In highschool I was very low on my selfesteem by this point and I wore baggy clothes so my fat rolls didnt show. I would actually have guys tell me that if I lost weight they might talk to me. They wouldnt even be seen talking to me because I was fat. I have had so many bad experiences from being fat that I am ready to make that change. I know I am pretty, now I have to make my body match that.

Xanadar

I use negative comments as motivation. They help to fuel my desire to reach my goal weight. Its ok to feel hurt and angry when someone says something negative. Channel that emotion into a positive drive toward change.

kittyinaz

Holy crap. Those are horrible I'm so sorry!

The only thing I've gotten recently (except for all the bullies in Jr. High and High School) is before I started dating my boyfriend, my family kept telling me I needed to get lap band surgery so I could lose weight so I could find someone. Mind you, they are all fat, too! AND I was perfectly content being single. Actually, only a couple months ago my dad pulled me aside and said he was glad I finally found a boyfriend because he knows "it must be hard being a bigger girl".

cherubcrnp

I am sorry for what those people said to you, you should have high-fived their face!

Personally I just got sick of my boyfriend poking my bum and asking when I was going to get rid of this, I am now back down to the weight I was when I met him a year ago (yet he still wants me lighter) and now he is the one carrying the extra couple of kilos so I make a point to poke his beer gut every few days and ask when he plans on shrinking it as I held up my end of the bargain and got back to what I was!

I would dump anyone so superficial. :grumble:

Me too!

frostiegurl

We need comeback friends! I love to think of things to answers these crazy people "before" they say their rude things. Obviously some of them just blindside us and those are not as easy to answer because of the shock but if we could be armed ahead of time...
When are you due? "Today in fact. I think I just felt a contraction"
Store clerk saying they have nothing in your size. "Oh I'm not shopping for clothes I'm from the better business bureau investigating customer complaints about your customer service."
Rude relatives. Yeesh we need a lot of these, help me out people!!!

This.

I haven't had any horrible things said to me recently but I've had things said to me in the past.

Things like

" What are you looking at, fat girl." From a random stranger
"Wow, you don't look like a mack truck anymore" From my younger sister after I had lost weight about 18 years ago
"You'd look so pretty if you lost weight" From an older gentleman when I was a tour guide in Minnesota

AmberRose0319

That is truly upsetting. I don't get rude comments often, but normally when I do it's people asking if I'm pregnant. My brother is not the nicest person,[thats putting it nicely] Everytime I see him, which is not very often he asks me if I'm pregnant and will proceed to tell my Grandfather that I'm pregnant. He, himself has no room to talk, nor does anybody on my dads side of the family. We're all over weight and I'm the only one trying to do something about it. They're constantly trying to bring me down, but I've come to realize, I don't want to make this change for them but for myself. I no longer care what anybody thinks about me, what matters is how I feel about myself. Don't let anybody bring you down, EVER! Atleast your trying to do something about your weight!

Higglyjiggly64

Sorry you guys had those bad experiences.

Mine is not about weight but it was hurtfull and made me so angry.

After telling my mother inlaw that we were expecting twins she was like really?
Jackie your pregnant? I said yes and she was like oh wow and insted of saying something nice
the first thing that came out of her mouth was "oh! we don't have money for a babie shower"

OMG!! I wanted to yell at her and tell her not only do I not expect anything from her but who the hell was asking for a shower?
We were just sharing our happy news. After being soo angry I started to feel so hurt.
not so much because of what she said (Like i said I don't expect anything from her)
but I think she should have kept that to herself.


Some people!:explode:

Are you positive she was trying to be mean? She could have been upset that she wouldn't be able to give you a nice shower like she should and probably wanted to. You say you weren't asking for a shower, but now you think she hates you b/c she gave someone else in the family a small shower. Possibly, now she had the money. I know I'm not witness to family interactions. She probably has done other things to disappoint you. BUT, if she hasn't, put a positive spin on that event and believe that she wanted the best and just wasn't able to afford it.

mak112388

So sorry that people are that rude.
You should be very proud of yourself for not letting them truly get to you and achieving such great things!

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

deverez

I haven't been asked if I was pregnant yet, but I've been disturbed by what people have said before:

I work IT for the local government, and part of my job is (sometimes) going to the jail to work on their systems. When inside the jail, I turned the corner just as three deputies were chatting, and the female deputy said, "I'm getting fat." They all saw me and immediately stopped talking, and suddenly all started laughing hysterically. As I was walking down the corridor (still in earshot) I heard one of the deputies tell the others, "Bad timing on that one, eh?"

It didn't ruin my day, but I didn't get any fuzzy warm feeling from it either.

letsdothis2010

This kind of topic really makes me pause and wonder what is wrong with people these days. I was brought up the right way. To be kind, to be polite...to be a good person. To recognize that everyone carries their own burden and hardships, and that it isn't right to put someone down especially when it isn't merited. Whenever someone has insulted me, I have always held this firmly in my mind.

I haven't ever been straight insulted to my face like this before....but ooooh buddy, if someone did. Something along these lines would come flying out of my mouth: "I may be fat, but I'm changing that. You, however, are a miserable and bitter person that apparently wasn't raised correctly. It's very ugly on you...you should work on changing that".

Don't let people get you down, they are miserable and trying to project their misery onto others.

jeneey

Honestly if I could have a dollar for everytime someone has said something I'd be well off. People don't realize how much they can hurt another and how it affects them years later. Even today at 48 I still hear insults and I look the best I have in years.

RecliningFigure

Yesterday, a colleague sent an email full of personal insults. I was angry, but surprisingly, not hurt. They weren't true and I truly knew it. All I thought was "what an immature idiot. What I see in this list are either mean acts or ignorance or both. I got the pregnancy question before but I just let him know that he was mistaken. He was so embarrassed, I don't think he will be making that mistake again. And to those really mean people, I never show that I'm hurt, never give them that satisfaction! I might say, however, something like "oh sweetie, that was quite inappropriate and frankly, insulting. You should think twice before you say stuff." then I walk away with my conscience clean knowing that I'm the type of good person that I aspire to be. I also think to myself, what kind of life this horrible person must lead to be that way, and then instead of feeling bad about what was said about me, I just pity him and then forget about him. When people are mean, it's probably all about them and not about their victims.

Be strong! And remember, when someone tries to darken your soul, it's really their own that they are hurting. You can walk away and say,I'm better than that. I would never do that to someone else. I can feel good about who I am. They on the other hand... If they have even a little conscience, it will have an effect. And if it doesn't? Well that's when I really feel sorry for them.

marsts

when i was 13, and not terribly obese but probably 10 pounds heavier than the norm, i dated this guy for a month or w.e. (you know how junior high dating goes) anyways, a month after we broke up i was walking home from school when 2 of his friends were walking the same route behind me -because one of them lived near me- and for a good 5 mins they kept laughing at me and then called me a fat cow, etc etc etc.

So now I just can't wait to lose 40 pounds to be at 140, look super hot, and rub it in their faces.

_Jessica_

I was being intimate with my boyfriend at the time, and he got all serious and said..."when did you concieve" (refering to the stretchmarks on my bellie) I said ..."never, they are from being overwieght." He said "really, its okay that you had a baby, I dont' mind." That was the end of that relationship!

treadingpurple

Well, I was rather peeved this afternoon at a comment my Mom said to me while I was talking to her on the phone.
We were just chatting and I was telling her about how my physical therapy was going and about this website. I explained to her how wonderful it was that I was going to finally lose weight. She just commented back, "Well, I doubt it. Knowing you, you will just cheat on the food diary to make it look like you are eating well. You need to buckle down and lose weight, because you are way too fat. I'm afraid sometimes to have you sit on my couch, because I am worried it will break!"

I was so pissed off at what she said! Here I am trying my absolute hardest now to lose weight, so I can have more energy and have a healthy pregnancy in a year, and all she did was put me down. I have been putting everything down to a tee on my food diary. I have been exercising everyday. I even started doing yoga and meditation more often to keep from getting frustrated.

I agree, some people's comments can be very rude, but I am going to just ignore what Mom is saying to me. She is not in my shoes.

redhead91

I have always been overweight. A couple weeks ago a man (who was obese) asked me when I was due. The worst part was not only am I not pregnant now, I miscarried twice in the last 6 months. I wasn't ever far enough along to gain weight, but it brought back terrible memories. I hate when people say such careless things.