Don't judge other people!! :(

rachel871

I'm kind of on the fence with this - although there are a lot of people on these forums who do try to preach their way as 'the only way', which does get very annoying, a lot of the time they are giving advice in response to people asking for it - and surely if you're dedicated and motivated to your diet, the way you're choosing to do it, you're going to think its the best way aren't you?!

the other side of the argument is that a lot of people who ask for advice don't give full information to start with - ie they ask what they're doing wrong, so people respond (eg exercise more) and only then do they say they can't exercise for x reason, and then the people giving the advice seem like bad guys!

at the end of the day the trouble with internet forums where you are essentially talking to strangers, is posts can be taken wayyyy out of context! something i think you see more and more of in these threads... i reckon just take what people say with a pinch of salt, if what you are doing is working for you, then keep at it and don't mind anyone else's opinions!

kymarai

Well said. Support is one thing, arguing is another.

ybba12490

I hate when people say I'm wrong for doing something fitness/diet related. If I have been to a doctor and they have told me what I'm doing is healthy, don't try and convince me that I'm wrong, especially concerning calories and or what I'm consuming. Everyone's body is different and has different needs. I wouldn't have lost 8lbs in 2 weeks the HEALTHY way if I was doing something "wrong"

kayemme

That's not true. People spit out their advice without being asked. In another thread on here, people were ridiculing those who walk on treadmills -

it's possible that you're reading more into it than is there and, really, why do you care? the same advice that starts this conversation should end it.

why care what anyone thinks? let's say i am judging you? so, what!? why should you care what i think? you don't know me; i don't know you...

people will judge over a number of things, none of which you can control, but just remember: none of it has anything to do with YOU. that's your own head working against you.

ybba12490

I'm kind of on the fence with this - although there are a lot of people on these forums who do try to preach their way as 'the only way', which does get very annoying, a lot of the time they are giving advice in response to people asking for it - and surely if you're dedicated and motivated to your diet, the way you're choosing to do it, you're going to think its the best way aren't you?!

the other side of the argument is that a lot of people who ask for advice don't give full information to start with - ie they ask what they're doing wrong, so people respond (eg exercise more) and only then do they say they can't exercise for x reason, and then the people giving the advice seem like bad guys!

at the end of the day the trouble with internet forums where you are essentially talking to strangers, is posts can be taken wayyyy out of context! something i think you see more and more of in these threads... i reckon just take what people say with a pinch of salt, if what you are doing is working for you, then keep at it and don't mind anyone else's opinions!

I really really agree with this also. However, there is a difference between being rude and being helpful. I know you say things can be taken out of context, but some people just seem to go out of their way to be rude! Not cool!

36jessica

Well said! We're supposed to support each other but maybe sometimes I get the feeling that it's a competition. I don't want to compare myself to others or have others compae themselves to me. We are all fighting the same war, but each battle is totally unique.

JunkFoodJane

I have been thinking about this for a few days. Since surgery 18 months ago (major) I am soooo uncomfortable with what my body can do. Someone recently was talking about people holding on on the treadmill and how it's worthless and negates the workout.

My HRM disagreed, as did the sweat dripping through my clothes after half an hour. My surgery was for nothing I did wrong- rather following my doctor's orders I ended up in a terrible spot. Sure, I used to charge along at 7mph and only 20 lbs less, but my body is different now. I didnt need 19 year old hard bodies trying to give me advice. I used to look like them, they don't know how TERRIFIED I am of falling on the treadmill. Or how my balance, which I used to take pride in in my gymnastics, is compromised. I am sweating as hard as they are. My body is just in a totally different place.


If I feel sad I'm not losing weight, I'm not asking for tips. Just to let people know.

longtallted

I once heard somebody say "communication... is what the listener does". i.e. It does not matter how appropriate the person talking/writing feels they are being, it is the recipient of their words who feels and decides what is being 'communicated'.

In this context, basically, if you think you're writing useful, appropriate posts on a forum and anybody gives you feedback that they don't appreciate the communication they receive from it... then you need to adapt your style or it will continue to be rejected.

If you want to talk and be listened to, then providing your words in a way that is welcomed by the listener is required. That's not negotiable, it is essential.

debbiequack

You know, when I used to go to trainers, they would tell me things like "well, it's not going to do you any good if you only do it twenty minutes a day"... etc... I would get sooo annoyed.

Two years ago I started with slow walking 2 miles a day, 3X per week, and now (at my own pace) I'm up to 30 min of cardio, 6X/week and another 10 of weight training 6X?week. It worked for me to do it at that pace.

Best,

Debbie

debbiequack

"it's possible that you're reading more into it than is there and, really, why do you care? the same advice that starts this conversation should end it.

why care what anyone thinks? let's say i am judging you? so, what!? why should you care what i think? you don't know me; i don't know you...

people will judge over a number of things, none of which you can control, but just remember: none of it has anything to do with YOU. that's your own head working against you"

I don't agree with this comment. I agree with it in "Life in general" but MFP is a support board and I personally come hoping to filter out everything but advice that's asked for and general encouragement.

In the big, real world, I don't care if someone is judging me, particularly if I don't know them. But here, I'm looking for something specific.

Just my two cents.

Hearts_2015

Wow! I must be lucky. I have been on here for over 9 mos and have yet to come across these people. Whew!

Love the "don't feed the trolls" remark too! LOL

lucky indeed!:laugh:

believetoachieve

That's not true. People spit out their advice without being asked. In another thread on here, people were ridiculing those who walk on treadmills -

it's possible that you're reading more into it than is there and, really, why do you care? the same advice that starts this conversation should end it.

why care what anyone thinks? let's say i am judging you? so, what!? why should you care what i think? you don't know me; i don't know you...

people will judge over a number of things, none of which you can control, but just remember: none of it has anything to do with YOU. that's your own head working against you.

How rude of you to come onto this thread and then try to stir drama! The thread I'm talking about was one titled something along the lines of "stupid/silly things you've seen people do at the gym".

Please, be miserable elsewhere. This is a thread asking people to STOP judging others.

djhavoc

I was one of those judges before, I would poke fun of people at the gym that were working out wrong but then I thought to myself AT LEAST THEY ARE HERE TRYING instead of at home being couch potatoes I no longer make fun of anyone trying to better themselves.

balancingpineapples

Fantastic! I totally agree! It's these type of people that you are talking about that used to make me (and sometimes still do) feel uncomfortable about going to my own gym!!

kayemme

That's not true. People spit out their advice without being asked. In another thread on here, people were ridiculing those who walk on treadmills -

it's possible that you're reading more into it than is there and, really, why do you care? the same advice that starts this conversation should end it.

why care what anyone thinks? let's say i am judging you? so, what!? why should you care what i think? you don't know me; i don't know you...

people will judge over a number of things, none of which you can control, but just remember: none of it has anything to do with YOU. that's your own head working against you.

How rude of you to come onto this thread and then try to stir drama! The thread I'm talking about was one titled something along the lines of "stupid/silly things you've seen people do at the gym".

Please, be miserable elsewhere. This is a thread asking people to STOP judging others.

are you serious? haha.. you misunderstand me.. i'm just saying you can let what others say dictate your actions, or you can keep on keepin on. i am not judging anyone at all. i hope for everyone tobe successful, always.

bests

backinthenines

hey they asked, we answer..just because you dont like the answer we give doesnt mean we are being rude.
dont come on here asking for advice if you cant take what other people say.

I absolutely agree...

This place is full of the most ridiculous threads... like "700 cals a day and not losing" etc etc.

Then people (many of whom have huge amounts of weight and clearly DO know what they are doing, or people where you can see from their pics that they practice what they "preach") give their time to advise... and all the time you can see people getting their knickers in a twist if it isn't what they want to hear.

"no dumbell is too light... no speed is too slow" etc that all sounds very nice... but THEN don't come here complaining that you don't see results!!

If you only do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always had.

backinthenines

Someone recently was talking about people holding on on the treadmill and how it's worthless and negates the workout.

And so it is. http://walking.about.com/od/treadmillworkouts/a/treadmillhold.htm

But if after you have been given the advice and the evidence and you then chose not to follow it, then that's entirely up to you.

The problem is when months later people come back and say "I haven't lost any weight and my back hurts"... :huh:

Hearts_2015

-

it's possible that you're reading more into it than is there and, really, why do you care? the same advice that starts this conversation should end it.

why care what anyone thinks? let's say i am judging you? so, what!? why should you care what i think? you don't know me; i don't know you...

people will judge over a number of things, none of which you can control, but just remember: none of it has anything to do with YOU. that's your own head working against you.

How rude of you to come onto this thread and then try to stir drama! The thread I'm talking about was one titled something along the lines of "stupid/silly things you've seen people do at the gym".

Please, be miserable elsewhere. This is a thread asking people to STOP judging others.

are you serious? haha.. you misunderstand me.. i'm just saying you can let what others say dictate your actions, or you can keep on keepin on. i am not judging anyone at all. i hope for everyone tobe successful, always.

bests

^ ^ I heard this as well! I loved it, truly makes sense for me to not worry so much what others may or may not think of me in life. Often times I worry for nothing as they are in their own head when I'm worrying they are thinking something about me. :laugh: I appreciate what you shared, it was again a reminder that I need to simply live my life and not worry about what is going on around me so much.:flowerforyou: Each of us is likely busy doing our own thing in life and really not the focus of everyone around us. :drinker:

Wileyjoe

sometimes I eat whole grain rice.

Hearts_2015

sometimes I eat whole grain rice.

love my Basmati & Brown rice!

mkennedym

there ARE wrong ways to approach fitness goals. for instance, you don't limit yourself to 200 calories a day or not eat at all. that is unhealthy for prolonged periods of time.

if someone is doing something wrong, though, i think without using some medical evidence for why it is wrong, people shouldn't judge other's attempts. if, however, they can find actual medical research as to why that person's method of weight loss is wrong and possibly dangerous, then there is nothing wrong with stating that there is something wrong with the process and linking to the literature.

cupajoe

I think many people just don't realize what they are saying may feel judgemental or hurtful to others. My husband tends to do this to me. He is a skinny little guy who could eat chili cheese fries for every meal and not gain a pound. He has no idea what it is like to be OBESE and struggle with your weight every day or to feel out of breath after minimal physical activity. When I would be proud of the extra long walk I took that day...he would comment on how he jogs 3miles on the treadmill as a warm-up before working out. It always made me go from YAY ME...to...UGH! But everyones bodies and goals are different. You can't compare someone who is 300lbs and trying to get to a healthy weight to someone who weighs 110 and is trying to define her abbs...

otr12

So all I do is walk - 2 months ago I was just sitting on my butt playing the Sims all day.
So I go over my sodium everyday - 1 month ago I put salt on everything and now I don't put it on anything.
So I drink 2 pots of coffee a day - 3 months ago I was drinking 8-12 cans of beer a day.
So I throw a slice of processed cheese on my food - 4 months ago I was putting liquid cheese food on my 7-11 hotdog.
So I eat flour tortillas - 6 weeks ago I was piling the same stuff on a cheese bagle.

Shadow611

We really are different in many ways. Does a 50 year old man have the same amount of energy as as 20 year old. Or can a lady with with health problems and is only alowed to eat certain foods to keep it from getting worse keep up with a healthy teenagere with a higher metabolisim. No. Each person is different and we all need to do something different. I love getting advice from others but it does not mean I have to do it your way and its not fair to me or anyone elose when you make them feel like its your way or it just will not work out. Quit putting others down if it has to be your way just dont talk to others.

LeAnn_Mae

Who CARES

AGREED! *like*

believetoachieve

are you serious? haha.. you misunderstand me.. i'm just saying you can let what others say dictate your actions, or you can keep on keepin on. i am not judging anyone at all. i hope for everyone tobe successful, always.

bests

Sorry, yes I def did misunderstand your post!! Not sure what crawled up my rear end and died that day, but I apologize!! :drinker:

utah_angel1971

lol i think most of us do that. I eat relatively healthy but about a week before ToM lol i get cravings for everything NOT healthy lol