How do i motivate my mum to lose weight?

c_turner

Hi Everyone,

Recentley i have noticed my mum puttin on weight, now this might not be cause for alarm for some people but she is already a size 24 and is 50 years old this year. My mum has never been a skinny girl, even when she was in high school she was a size 14/16 but managed to get down to a size 10 when she was 18 through rigorous dieting, but then she put it all back on and more by the age of 20. Since then she has been creeping up the ladder over the years to where she is now. It doesnt matter to me what she looks like because to me she will always be fabulous and the best mum in the world! However, with her not getting any younger and being the weight that she is (she will never tell me how much she weighs) im getting really concerned that she will start having serious medical problems.

Diabetes all ready runs in the family and she has arthritis. She is also a heavy smoker to boot. It doesnt help either that my dad is slim and a chocoholic who does not entertain the idea of healthy food. I have tried asking her to come to the gym with me and eating healthier with me but she will not go to the gym because she is self conscious and she says she loves her food too much to give luxuiries like puddings and chocolate up. She did try eating healthier for a week but then gave up.

I have tried offering to pay for a personal trainer for her so that she can work out at home but she does not want one and i bought the Wii Fit which since xmas she has been on once! Im running out of ideas! I know she is not happy with her figure because she moans about it all the time. I really want her to love herself again and have the confidence to go out and feel fabulous.

Has anyone else experienced this with a family member or friend? How did you motivate them? How should i go about helping her without getting on her nerves (which i am at the moment!). HELP PLEAS!

sunshine79

I have experienced this and the sad truth is you can motivate anyone to lose weight as it has to be something they do for themselves.

However, in my experience leading by example proved to be very effective. Also, when I went shopping with my mum (as I take her every week), I'd just point out one or two substitutions she could make and slowly she has started to make changes.

It will be slow and don't expect her to jump right into it but little by little, making small food changes and becoming a little more active I'm sure you can show your mum the right way without being forceful.

leslturn8

My mum and friend. I have given up on both. You cant help those who don't want to be helped.
From personal experience, they want magic to happen but arnt willing to make the effort.
I am a unhealthy eater, i was brought up like that, i hate alot of food, so what i did was portion my meals, half it, i have lost 8 kilos in 7 months just from that, exercise didnt count. I want to lose another 8 incorperating exercise.
You cant beat yourself up because i have been for the last year and it doesnt work. They have to want it ......

suzycreamcheese

You cant.

People only do stuff like this when theyre ready to themselves.

Elle408

Interested to hear the responses! Going through this with my elder sister! We used to weigh the same and share clothes and then we both started putting on weight. Only difference is I stopped and she never! Now she's 5'4" and 250lbs+ and can't walk 10ft without sweating buckets and wheezing! She's not happy, but she refuses to change so I'm at a loss of what to do.

I know personally, it was the lightbulb that went off that changed me and I think she may need that moment for herself. Maybe it's the same with your mother? It's really hard work losing weight so you need to be motivated and want it for yourself to put yourself through the pain that's sometimes associated with weight loss. If she's not ready for that yet, then she won't stick with it. Maybe just let her know that you're there for her when she does decide that she wants to change and that you'll be ready to support her.

YourFriendBecky

I am over 50 and a mom myself. If I was not already doing this on my own, I can tell you that the one thing that might motivate me would be knowing that I was causing worry and anxiety for my daughter. I am very protective of my daughter. If she had ever come to me and said, "Mom, I'm so scared of losing you... I need you to be here," that would have been tremendous motivation for me. I remember reading that Richard Simmons, the famous American weight loss guru, was finally motivated to lose weight because someone left him an anonymous note that said, "Fat people die younger. Please don't die." It shocked him into action.

Having someone offer to go to the gym with me or take me shopping for healthier foods would not have motivated me. That feels kind of manipulative and condescending.

I also understand your mom's addiction to sweets, because I have that, as well. Maybe if you told her that she could continue to eat whatever she wanted... as long as she just counted it... that would be a way for her to get started without feeling deprived. Maybe she would choose to eat healthier in time, but at least she could be working on getting the weight off. I've taken off 52 pounds while still eating all my favorite sweets and I haven't done any exercise. I'm gradually starting to substitute fruit for dessert part of the time. It's a process, and it's more challenging when trying to overcome a lifetime of comfortable habits.

Cilenia

Maybe you can go for a weekly walk in nature together, that way she might do some extra movement. It she is not fit, you dont have to go far, just small bits, take a break and then walk a little further. It might be a way of spending some quality time together and get some excersize in too.