SBF 2, Boogaloo, April 11th

yoginimary

Welcome back, MM!

We got a little much needed rain last night.

I need to get moving and start planning my class for today. So, today is double yoga, walk this afternoon, and hopefully some yard work in cooler weather.

Summer is coming, boogaloo.

mechanicmom

Thanks Mary. Glad you got a little rain. I heard we had some bad storms in Dfw.

We are about an hour from Fort Worth. Going to DH's work to get the other vehicle and then on to the doctor's office to get our blood work done for the adoption physicals and get my thyroid checked. We were going to wait till Wednesday but the thyroid is making me feel so bad that I want to get help. This morning I felt angry and did not have feelings of love and happiness toward my hubby. Lol! Yeah I'm a mess. I really just want to go home and sleep for a week instead of getting four vials of blood drawn. But it has to be done. Just hope I can stay awake to drive home!

Jet lag and crankiness boogaloo.
MM

lotusfromthemud

MM, do not underestimate the powers of hormones, stress and exhaustion. I don't know that I could have any "right" feelings right now, either.
Mary, yay! rain, Yay!

I just got back from dance class. I was sitting around thinking of about fifty reasons to not go, and decided they were really fifty reasons to go. I was feeling physically OK, but mentally/emotionally a wreck. I am, as I described myself to my husband "a bundle." I am still pouting about yesterday (it was just a cranky day. . .I had students trying to contest their exam marks as they handed in their exams. . .it was not pretty. . .also, I was nervous and feel like I was a jabberjaws in front of my boss and then was up most of the night trying to rethink the whole conversation of the afternoon thinking "what did I say that was stupid?" because I found out she was on the hiring committee for the job I didn't get. Ugh. It made the entire year feel like a job interview, if you know what I mean.) Dance class helped.

Moving on to more positive intentions, or at least forward-thinking ones: intentions for the week are:

three more workouts, within reasonable daily assessments of what my body is feeling up to. (including my first yoga class on Thursday). Working every day (including the dreaded exams, which must be finished and given over to my boss by Friday, which is the same deadline I'd given myself to send something to my Supervisor.) So, the other goal is to be kind to myself both emotionally and physically.

Kindness, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

mechanicmom

V, I hope you are feeling better today.

I am still in grogville but I am sure I will come out of it soon. I slept for the most part so I guess I am back to Texas time. I think I just need to accept the fact that I am going to feel exhausted until my thyroid meds are changed again. I could hear back today, maybe tomorrow.
My goal for today since returning home is to get on the TM and walk at least 3 miles. However the second to last day in Moscow I twisted my knee or something while walking, and it still hurts. I will try to get on the TM unless sleep wins over. If I can't sleep or get on the TM, I might try to do upper body taebo. I am determined to keep working out.
I am amazed. I only lost 1.5 pounds. I walked at least 6 miles a day, and ate half to three quarters what I normally eat...if that much. I really expected at least three pounds. I blame my thyroid and I think I have a right to. I don't think that's the wrong place to put blame right now. I think I have lost some inches though not a whole lot. I'll find out when I put my jeans on this morning. At least, I didn't come back looking sick like I did last time. A loss is a loss and I should be happy.
I was tempted to eat a lot when I got home yesterday. I wasn't hungry but I wanted to eat. I was able to resist, but I wonder what it is about being home that makes me want to eat.

Count it all loss boogaloo!
MM

lotusfromthemud

Morning,

Finally slept straight through the night, which has helped my mood somewhat. I've discovered that the most important coping skill when I feel overcome with the inadequacies is to keep working, which is what I did yesterday. Also, I once again had the harder-core than I was expecting dance workout, so my only activity planned for today is some errand walking and cleaning in between marking and editing. I am running into to some very time consuming issues with tracking down composer/publishing dates stuff for recordings. I guess Fisher Hendley and his Aristocratic Pigs (actual band from the 1930s) didn't think anyone would ever need to cite them in their doctoral thesis. I'd like to think Mr Hendley would be pleased, wherever he is, but I wish he'd left better info with his recording studio. :laugh:

Other goal for the day: have a plant (grains are cheating) based meal. I think it's been weeks since I've eaten a salad. Not good.I might make some soup or something for dinner. Something low effort, as the marking pile didn't seem to get any smaller yesterday.:ohwell: Despite my efforts. It was one of those days full of teeny tiny progresses, even after working all day long.

Efforts, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

yoginimary

MM - you were only gone for a week. I think it's a lot of weight to lose.
V - that's one of the best band names ever.

I was originally planning to ride the bike to the store, but I need too many things. I'm making perogies today for Easter (they freeze well). I wish I could convert them to whole wheat - they really are close to junk food. I think half whole wheat works though.

I'll probably do yoga this afternoon at home. I need to go through the class my fellow teacher trainees and I have planned. I think it's too long. I also think we need to link the class together better.

I'll walk this morning.

Perogies, boogaloo.

mechanicmom

Mmm, perogies. I didn't get any while in Russia this time. :frown:

I did not work out yesterday. Instead I typed up my journal about the trip and put it in my notes on FB. I figured another day of rest won't kill me, although I did have a pretty unhealthy lunch yesterday. I regretted it.
I have a lot to do today, and I have a case of the don't wannas. Ten days away from cooking and cleaning and I get spoiled. I need to clean up the house, finish laundry, go to the doctor's office so they can check my arm and tell me I don't have TB, do some school with Alex, and get some exercise in. I am thinking I may want to go roller blading this morning and Alex can ride his tricycle. Roller blading seems to be easy on the knees strangely enough. And it's a high burn even if I only last fifteen minutes. Plus I have callouses built up on my feet so maybe it won't hurt my feet as bad as it usually does. :laugh: Besides that, it's going to be a gorgeous day.
I am really hoping to hear back about my thyroid results today. I am so ready to get passed all this and start feeling better! I need more energy! I plan to get my goals done this morning so I can relax this afternoon when I typically start to feel bad. Oh and I also have to make a grocery list today.

Don't wanna but gonna boogaloo.
MM

yoginimary

It's lovely outside now. I just volunteered to teach at noon, so I'll be teaching all morning. It's the time slot I would like to add to my schedule.

Other plans today include: yard work, yoga class tonight, some cleaning, making soup. How to fit everything in alludes me. It's been ages since I've watched a movie sitting down (most are watched on the treadmill).

I also need to kick my classmates into gear. Our group assignment is due Friday.

Three yoga classes, boogaloo.

lotusfromthemud

Morning pebbs,

I am in "impending deadline full freakout mode", as I described it to my husband yesterday, when I had a freakout in his direction. I didn't expect my marking deadline to be so tight, and to be exactly the same as my self-imposed (but incredibly important to me) deadline to get a draft of my chapter to my supervisor. So, when I read the phrase ""how to fit everything in alludes me", Mary. . .my whole being resonated with a sort of bong like one of those noise in the zen timer. :laugh: I just sat down (after going to dance class to clear my sleep-free head) and planned the rest of the day, making sure there was time to eat and prepare food, and sit down periodically to collect my thoughts. There is a lot to do, and I am in "work all day and finish nothing." mode, which truly beats me down. I hope to finish the marking pile today, which I think/hope is possible, and maybe, just maybe finish inserting the music transcriptions into my paper (which might also be possible if everything works). Optimism!

Best wishes to all my pebbles that test results are received, groups get their booties in gear (when I read "group project" I shuddered) and all else is well. Hey, other pebbs. . check in. . .I miss you.

Get it done, and stay kind, boogaloo:flowerforyou:

mechanicmom

Update:
It's not much of an update. I did go roller blading. My knee felt okay while I was doing it but afterwards it has been hurting. :frown: Pretty sure I am falling apart. I need duct tape!
Also the doc's office called and said all the labs are normal. I said, "Uh, no they're not." Apparently the numbers can be normal but I can still have symptoms. The nurse is suppose to be talking to the doc about it but I haven't heard anything else yet. I'm liable to tell them I am going back to my old pills if they tell me to stick it out longer or say everything is fine. I can't handle this weirdness much longer. People are asking if my hormones are messed up. The thyroid is hormones and it can affect every other hormone in my body, so yes they are messed up. Sorry. My snotty side coming out. Shutting up.

I need to be nice boogaloo.
MM

mechanicmom

I don't like posting after myself. I guess I post too much.

Goals for the day are: get to the grocery store and stay in budget, school with Alex, maybe a walk or taebo (my knee seems to be okay at the moment), and get a hold of the doctor. And get outside for some Vitamin D.
A friend of mine told me about a medicine for thyroids that contains T3 and T4. I may ask the doctor about it when we go in on Monday for our physicals. If he keeps me on the meds I am on currently it will cost us $75 a month! :noway: Maybe this other stuff is cheaper and works the same.
I hope you all are well and feeling energized!

Short post today boogaloo!
MM

lotusfromthemud

Don't worry, MM, you don't post too much!

Today is yoga. . .and I'm a little bit nervous. A few reasons for this, I guess. New place, new style, and I'm dealing with some ego stuff with the fact that it's "special needs". The other thing is, I've been very, very emotional lately and I'm scared I will cry. I'm sure it's happened before. Yesterday, after my marking was finished I tried to do more editing work but my brain was all done working. ( fibro does this. When you are mentally finished for the day, you are finished. I use the descriptive word "gobbledygook" to describe what everything turns in to. I lose my ability to sort, if that makes sense. Imagine you were trying to alphabetize something, but could only really remember about half the alphabet) so, I watched a movie, the ending of which reduced me to a puddle of sobbing, emotional mess on the sofa. What romantic melodrama did this to me, you ask? The Fighter.:laugh: it was a combo of being really emotional in general, it being a pretty emotional climax, and missing boxing like crazy.

So, condensed version:trying for good choices food wise, drinking water, yoga, and finishing as much detail work on the draft as I can, as tomorrow morning it gets (gulp) released for scrutiny.

New stuff, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

yoginimary

I can't wait to hear what your yoga session is like. I know it will involve lots of props - the horse, the backbender, sandbags. If you are feeling emotional, they will take that into consideration as well.

I never get tired of reading anyone's posts, but I know what you mean by posting after yourself - makes you feel like you're talking to yourself.

I got some flowers planted yesterday. I will do some weeding today. The Texas sun is starting to fire up, so I need to watch how much time I spend out there. I really need to do some yard clean up though.

I also need to clean the house and run some errands - and walking and yoga of course.

Flowers, boogaloo.

lotusfromthemud

Morning, pebbs,

Hoping to get a walk in today. If the weather Forecast is right, this will be our last day of sunshine for a bit. I have stuff to drop off including my chapter draft (um, gulp) and all of my grades. So, I'm officially on break from teaching. Now I wait to see if I'm teaching this summer. (I applied for a scholarship instead of a work assignment, but I might now get it)

I pm'ed Mary a full yoga report, but the short version is: it was awesome, all restorative supported poses. Also, I cried, but it seems to be the class for that (several people were). Looking around, it seems like a lot of stress and pain is getting left in that room. I decided to make Thursday a day off from working (I take two a week, and Tuesday used to be one with teaching) and have it be official "peace, be still!" day. My teacher (there's a senior overseer and then every student gets an individual teacher) is awesome! My favorite thing she said to me, to get me to pull my knees in closer to my chest was "for you are an embryo with no problems." which is the perfect mix of slightly funny and wonderful.

Drop it off, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

mechanicmom

Good morning,

Yesterday I struggled with food. I finally went to the store and got FOOD, and I felt like I hadn't had any in two weeks. I had but it wasn't the best food, plus with the nausea from the antibiotics, it was rough. So I did over eat yesterday. I hope I don't fall into a pattern of it. I had a sweet tooth all day. Gum and peppermints weren't really helping. That's what it is! After being sick and not having my normal food, everything tastes SO good! No wonder I wanted to eat all day. :laugh:
I am not sure what to do with myself today. School needs to be done since we didn't do it yesterday. It's not like it's hard. I've got to get on a schedule. My world is about to change and it cannot change with it already in this chaos. I really should leave the computer off until all my stuff is done, and some days it may not get turned on. That's what I should do.
So today I will do school and then clean. If I get in the groove, I will clean all day and that will be it for exercise. If I just do general pick up then I will try to work out. Still nursing my knee injury. It is also absolutely gorgeous out. My yard is in need of assistance, but because of my wrist and knee I really don't know if I should do anything in the yard. (Seriously need duct tape.) It is windy so I may take Alex to the park to fly the kite. Overall goal for the day: drink water and watch how much I eat.
Mary, you commented a few days ago that 1.5 over a week is really good. At first I was like, "No it's not." But if I look at the over all picture of the last six weeks, I have lost 5 pounds. It's not a lot but it has gone down! 1.5 pounds is good. So is 5! I haven't been counting calories, and a lot of that time I have not been able to work out like I wanted, so it is good! If I had lost more than that 1.5 over my trip like I did last year I'd be gaining it all back right now, plus some. I'm smaller than I have been in about a year, even if it's only by a pound or two.
I do miss working out, but by the afternoon my motivation and my energy has been gone. I think possibly I might be balancing out some. I am not feeling quite as weepy or fatigued. We got our lab results back which had my thyroid numbers on them. We looked at mine and compared them to Steve's. Both are in range but Steve's are more in the middle, mine are kind of all over the board. I am hoping those numbers will be scattered enough to get the doc to change things to balance them out more. It was neat to see the numbers of a "normal" thyroid and then to see mine.

It is good boogaloo.
MM

yoginimary

Food and my relationship to it - could be the story of my life (seriously - my eating patterns and what was going on in my life - from my diet coke and candy bar to organic salads and coffee). I'm trying a new practice of taking 10 breaths before eating anything (except breakfast where I'm tired and grumpy). I'm hoping to develop a better understanding of why I'm eating too much. So far, I noticed that when I sit down to eat, I'm in a hurry and slightly agitated. The 10 breaths helps this. The relationship between emotions and food is amazing.

So I measured yesterday. Humph. Time to work harder and eat less.

I got lots of yard work done (there's always more to do). I didn't get the house clean, but I will soon. Today: out with friend to run errands together (maybe go for a walk, in the windy, but lovely day), beginning of yoga workshop tonight.

Food, life, boogaloo.

yoginimary

Last up yesterday, first today.

We did revolved standing poses yesterday. I'm hoping for backbends this morning, though my left shoulder is a little sore - it feels like it got a vaccination. I've never felt that kind of soreness before.

5 hours of yoga today, then nephew's birthday party late this afternoon, dinner, bed. I have to be up even earlier tomorrow.

Early to bed, boogaloo.

lotusfromthemud

Happy Saturday, pebbs

Yep, Mary, I've recently come to the same "food and my relationship with it." conclusion. I just bought/started reading a book called "food:the good girl's drug" because I read the title and thought "holy. That's me.", I've been coming to terms over the past while with the idea that what I have is emotional binge eating, an actual eating disorder type thing, which is what the book addresses. I'll report back. I get it under control, I feel out of control, I get it under control, repeat. I feel as if I really want to be in a place where I don't feel like I need to restrict in order to eat normally and healthfully. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Yesterday, which was, I might add, a very good day involved eating an entire pint of ice cream. (fear of success? Celebration? I deserve it? I don't even know. . .) afterwards, I felt guilt and shame, which made me want to eat more. Seriously? What the? Instead, I started reading the book and went to bed, resolving "tomorrow, I'll be a better grownup"

Anyways. Today's goals are: figuring out which chapter to attack next, making a trip to the health food store, and pondering starting to log my food again. It's a planned day off from working out, but I was planning on walking (but it's raining). Due to the rain, I might go ride the spin bike at the gym, or clean the house depending on my afternoon energy/anxiety levels.

Better grownup, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

mechanicmom

" I feel as if I really want to be in a place where I don't feel like I need to restrict in order to eat normally and healthfully." - Exactly V. Exactly.
I watch the Biggest Loser every week, and there are a lot of aspects that I don't like about the show, but I look for tips that might help me along my journey and it gives me encouragement on days when I just don't feel like working out. The last couple of weeks they've been dealing with Rulon (the former Olympic gold medalist) and his binge eating at night in his room. Whole bags of chips and salsa and pints of ice cream or whatever. His problem? He felt deprived from all the food he loved and hated that he had to give those up. Jillian Michaels talked to him (I usually forward the psychological/crying stuff, but this is a similar problem I have) and she said it's okay to have those things some times, but only a little bit. A few bites, not the whole bag or bowl or whatever. I know that but it was good to hear it again. I have friends doing the Advocare 24 day challenge and they have been obese. They have lost a lot of weight but they are taking extra vitamins and drinking extra shakes and depriving themselves of food that they used to enjoy (maybe they don't any more). I don't mean to sound mean but how long will it be before they can't do it any more and gain all the wait back? I hope for their sakes they don't. I want to be able to enjoy life, not worry about calories, not worry about portion control. I want it to be done for me I guess. :laugh: I just want to naturally eat the way I should.
On the subject of food I have really really been wanting to eat everything the last two days. I feel like I do two days before girl time. Yesterday I was craving salt all day. I still am. Aren't I dehydrated enough? Ha! I just looked up salt cravings and it says it could be adrenal fatigue. Well, I have many of the symptoms. It says adrenal fatigue is a symptom of thyroid disease. Maybe I'm on to something! I'll keep researching and ask the doc about it on Monday. There are over the counter things I can take to help it. So I'm NOT crazy! :laugh:
I am really chatty today. I'm going to try to control my eating a little better today. I am also going to a baby shower this afternoon. Other than that I have no plans. My knee seems to be improving but I haven't exercised much to test it. I did get about an hour of yard work done yesterday though.

Enough for now boogaloo!
MM

mechanicmom

PS. And I just read that the T3 medicine which he just started me out on 5 weeks ago has a half life. I am taking both pills in the morning which could explain why I am falling asleep and feeling horrible by 3pm! Tomorrow I'm just going to take one in the morning and one at lunch and see how I do. Amazing what a little research will show you!
MM

lotusfromthemud

Happy Sunday, pebbs,

Today is Zumba, the housecleaning I didn't get to yesterday, and the chapter planning I didn't get to yesterday. I decided to look at three chapters and try to storyboard all of them and then see which one feels the most ready to go in my brain. This weird system works in my world. Bring on the index cards. I had an elaborate fantasy the other day that we're probably technology-wise probably pretty close to a gigantic tablet computer the size of my work table. I had a star trek style fantasy of index card free project planning on my giant table computer. It was voice controlled. If there's a hall of shame/fame for geekery, I now deserve a place in it.:laugh:

I've also got some food goals for the next little bit. No snacking after dinner (this is when the binges have been happening). Ive made a big list of things to do other than eat. Other than that, I can eat whatever I want, but have to spend some check in time an hour after every meal thinking "how do I feel from the food I ate". I'm hoping these two things will help me with two issues I've been having: eating to stop my brain at the end of the day, and having good food/bad food systems of punishment/reward that are starting up.

Index card geekery, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

yoginimary

I really like the "I feel as if I really want to be in a place where I don't feel like I need to restrict in order to eat normally and healthfully" as well. I think it's the stuff we dream of at the places we are at in our food issues.
I have a friend that had a gastric sleeve done. She can't eat that much - she's doing really well with her portion sizes, even after a year - her food choices could use some work still, but everyone has their issue, right? She has to drink protein shakes all day. Yuck. Can't imagine. Also can't imagine doing that for a year - which is pretty much how I decide what is a good diet - could I do this for the next year?

Anyway, had a great practice yesterday morning. The afternoon practice was breathing - yep 2.5 hours of breathing exercises. I got a headache, so I'm skipping the planned session of breathing this morning and just going to asana practice (the poses) and teacher training.
V, as a side note, I'm paying big bucks for someone who is two levels lower than your teach in TO (there are 13 levels in all, though no one in the US or Canada is in the top two levels).

I might go for a walk today too. Depends what our practice is like today. I haven't walked in two days, so that's enough of a break right?

Breathing, boogaloo.

mechanicmom

Happy Sunday!

It was good to go back to church this morning. I missed it the last two weeks!

Not too much else going on today. I think we are just going to hang out. I think I might get back to playing my guitar some. My callouses on my fingers are gone so it hurts now to play. Might go to Rita's and get some Italian ice/custard later.
I plan to start working out again tomorrow, regardless of how my knee feels. If on Tuesday it hurts really bad then I will know that I should stay off it for awhile. I should be able to walk and do upper body weights I hope. We also have the doctor appointment tomorrow and we will discuss my thyroid. I've been trying not to get my hopes up that I might actually be feeling better. I have not been as weepy, and have even smiled some.
That's about it for here. I need to get Alex down for a nap and get a little "me" time in. Have a great afternoon!
MM