Angry spouse!!

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imichabod
imichabod Posts: 7
in Motivation and Support
So... This morning I get up at 515, as ussal and ride my bike (it is on a fluid trainer and in the house) when I finish and go downstairs for coffee there she is with her arms crossed lookng angry. She says it wakes her up and she does not like it. Trust me it makes some noise but, on the other side of the house it sounds like a fan or vibration or something. Not very loud... She is usually off work on Monday so she does not need to get up early. This has happened a few times now she looks pissed...
I think she is mad that I can get myself up every morning and workout and she has no motivation. I refuse to get fat....
What do you think?

Replies

  • squidink85
    squidink85 Posts: 1
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    HM. Hard to tell without actually knowing her personality. One side of it is that she COULD be jealous about not being bale to wake up with energy like you do [I am the same way. It takes me, on average, 2 hours to completely wake up and find energy] or she could be an extremely light sleeper [again, I am TOTALLY the same way].

    Before you go to bed, let her know that you're sorry if it wakes her up, but you need to exercise in the morning. By forewarning her, AND being the sweet/ sensitive guy, you should be able to cover your @$$ and exercise with no guilt. Maybe even invite her to start working out with you some mornings or when you guys have some time off together.

    Good Luck!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Tell her you wear the pants and you'll do what you want. When she starts chasing you, you'll be able to outrun her.
  • LeAnn_Mae
    LeAnn_Mae Posts: 263 Member
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    Don't let her discourage you. I was the same way with my husband but once I realized that I can be motivated too I learned to support him and he supports me right back. Just keep on, keepin' on!
  • andipandi
    andipandi Posts: 91 Member
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    hmmmm....have you asked her to be truthful? do you invite her into your workouts? could you do weights or strength traing (which are quiet) on monday mornings? you could switch up your routine on monday mornings, that would be good for both of you...there are lots of peaceful solutions :)
  • zave
    zave Posts: 238
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    I think on Mondays I would run outside. Or be prepared to sleep on the couch.
  • Lexie28
    Lexie28 Posts: 219
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    My ex-husband was the same way. Whenever I wanted to exercise...he made excuses not to join me. You may want to find a way to motivate your wife to join you. The best relationships are the ones where you both share the same interests. Good luck and don't let her mood get you down. Keep on trucking :flowerforyou:
  • hitxgirl
    hitxgirl Posts: 31 Member
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    Ask her what she is really mad about. Is she really mad that you are waking her up on the day she gets to sleep in or is it something else. (I have/am her at times, and I get disappointed when I plan on sleeping in and then don't get too!:yawn: ) Talk it over with her and ask her for suggestions. Maybe she will have a great idea that will work for both of you!
  • monicaP413
    monicaP413 Posts: 165
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    I sleep with a noise maker in my room because I am such a light sleeper. I love it cause it blocks out the noise outside the room or at least hushes it. If I don't have it on, I wake up at the slightest noise. I suggest you put one (on her side of the bed) in the room. It may take a few nights to get used to, but may be worth it. Either a fan or I use a little air cleaner thingy! Hope this helps!!
  • starboardzor
    starboardzor Posts: 312
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    I would LOVE if my significant other was that motivated! Mostly because it would motivate me to get a workout in, too. We went for runs together all last summer and it such an awesome bonding experience for us. Plus I push myself harder when I'm running with him. I told him now that the weather is warmer we have to run again.... it's just so much fun to go out and get all hot and sweaty with your significant other, like a couple dogs, panting and thoughtless, forgetting all your stress/worries/past arguements. Maybe you guys could try that =)
  • Jovialation
    Jovialation Posts: 7,632 Member
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    Im really trying not to be mean here but the last part of your post seems very disrespectful toward her. Maybe you're angry because she is...but this "shes just mad because IIII refuse to get fat" thing seems like a rude thing to assume about the wife. Maybe she is jealous, but what a quick assumption on your part. =\
    Maybe you should just talk to her about it. Be fair. If she is that light of a sleeper wait until later to use the bike or compromise somehow?
  • DPruneda17
    DPruneda17 Posts: 124 Member
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    hmmmm....have you asked her to be truthful? do you invite her into your workouts? could you do weights or strength traing (which are quiet) on monday mornings? you could switch up your routine on monday mornings, that would be good for both of you...there are lots of peaceful solutions :)

    I agree with the above. Maybe make a deal with her that you will not do the bike on Monday mornings. But other mornings you get to. I can sympathize with your wife, I HATE being woke up early if I don't work that day. So talk to her, love her, and compromise with her! If you are talking to her with your arms around her, it will make it hard for her to stay angry at you, and you'll be able to come to a good compromise! Good luck! :wink:
  • amandalc980
    amandalc980 Posts: 383 Member
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    Ok so I am going to pretend that she is me. To pretend she is like me means she is irrational, jealous and insecure. No worries, we have good traits, too, but these are the three important ones to consider when looking at this situation.

    First off, why are you riding a bike and getting all sexy hot? Am I not going to be good enough for you? Are you still attracted to me? What if I don't turn you on anymore!!! How do you fix that? Be overly attentive after you workout. Show her that exercise is more than just getting healthy, it’s about endorphins that make you want to eat her skin off her body (in a sexy non zombie kind of way).

    Second, maybe she is annoyed that you are waking up early for whatever reason. Maybe she enjoys the Monday morning cuddle with you. Maybe when you wake up to go bike lean over and kiss her and say I love you(because odds her she woke up a little and that kiss will remind her that you love her). Maybe you could offer to make breakfast after you exercise, or even just take coffee to bed to enjoy with her. Make Monday morning a fun time to wake up early for everyone.

    Do not encourage her to workout with you! Seriously! Are you kidding? First off, she probably feels jealous of your motivation and maybe a little insecure already (doesn’t matter how hot she is, woman are insecure over everything). If you ask her to, but she doesn’t have the motivation it just brings us back to the “first off” paragraph.

    Finally, don’t be annoyed with her! Try to understand where she is coming from. Being annoyed with her for being annoyed with you just makes everyone annoyed and nobody wins.
  • MakingAChoice
    MakingAChoice Posts: 481 Member
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    I sleep with a noise maker in my room because I am such a light sleeper. I love it cause it blocks out the noise outside the room or at least hushes it. If I don't have it on, I wake up at the slightest noise. I suggest you put one (on her side of the bed) in the room. It may take a few nights to get used to, but may be worth it. Either a fan or I use a little air cleaner thingy! Hope this helps!!

    Yep, we sleep with a fan on in our room every night. We actually find it hard to sleep if we do not that the white noise from something now. It helps to mute the kids, or noisy spouses. :laugh: Either try the fan thing, or change to a quiet workout like strength training or outside riding/running on Mondays.
  • amfmmama
    amfmmama Posts: 1,420 Member
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    Maybe she is intimidated by your success and motivation, or maybe you just woke her up. Seeing a clock at 5 am, when you get to actually sleep in... not a lot of fun. ... Just sayin'
  • otr12
    otr12 Posts: 632 Member
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    If it were me I'd get up on Monday and ride my bike to the store. Buy a rose and some fruit. Take it home, arrange it to look all pretty on a plate and leave it next to the coffee pot. Then when I saw her say "Goodmorning sweetheart. I know it's your day off so I didn't want you to have to do anything as soon as you wake up. I'm a little sweaty from my workout. After we eat why don't you hop in the shower with me and let me wash your back".

    But then again I'm more concerned with keeping the peace and nourishing the relationship than standing up for what I have the right to do. I feel it has a greater net gain, especially in the long run. My 13 year wedding anniversary is in 2 weeks.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    Do you play music or watch the tv while you're working out?? If you wake up early every morning to work out, why not go for a jog or bike outside on Monday's??

    It's just one day out of the week. :smile:
  • amandalc980
    amandalc980 Posts: 383 Member
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    If it were me I'd get up on Monday and ride my bike to the store. Buy a rose and some fruit. Take it home, arrange it to look all pretty on a plate and leave it next to the coffee pot. Then when I saw her say "Goodmorning sweetheart. I know it's your day off so I didn't want you to have to do anything as soon as you wake up. I'm a little sweaty from my workout. After we eat why don't you hop in the shower with me and let me wash your back".

    I think I just fell in love a little! :love:
  • mrsbullard21
    mrsbullard21 Posts: 24
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    If it were me I'd get up on Monday and ride my bike to the store. Buy a rose and some fruit. Take it home, arrange it to look all pretty on a plate and leave it next to the coffee pot. Then when I saw her say "Goodmorning sweetheart. I know it's your day off so I didn't want you to have to do anything as soon as you wake up. I'm a little sweaty from my workout. After we eat why don't you hop in the shower with me and let me wash your back".

    But then again I'm more concerned with keeping the peace and nourishing the relationship than standing up for what I have the right to do. I feel it has a greater net gain, especially in the long run. My 13 year wedding anniversary is in 2 weeks.

    Best response thus far! I have a feeling she's intimidated as to your reasons for working out. My husband just started going to the gym a few days a week and it was an adjustment for me - someone mentioned the questions that she might have as to what happens to me after you start looking super hot, what if I don't measure up, etc. Personally - and I'm only speaking for me - I went through that phase too.
    That response above shows a man who's willing to nurture, comfort, and support his wife - something that is extremely, extremely important. Men and women are so different and when a husband puts his own wants aside and tries to make his wife more comfortable...well, it works out in the end for everyone. In more ways than one. ;)

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