Back Off My Ana/Mia Friends

CCSunlight

I just wanted to comment as someone who has never been diagnosed with an ED, but I was diagnosed a few months back with major depression. I understand the struggle to change the way you're think about yourself and the world around you. It frustrates me to see people on this site who think that people just need a rude wake up call and then that person will be all better.

The worst part of the depression for me is absolutely knowing that my cognitive processes are screwed up. I know the way I respond to stressors isn't logical to other people. I can only assume that it similar to anyone who has acknowledged that they have an eating disorder. They probably already know that they're hurting their bodies. Berating them for reaching out for help isn't help at all, if they're anything like me they'll just shut down and get stuck with negative thoughts about themselves.

If you want to help, be there to listen, to have kind words, and to encourage building a stronger body.

I know that depression and eating disorders often occur together. I promise you that I'm hear to listen and talk any time you need it.

suzycreamcheese

its a tricky one.
When i posted on another thread saying i used to have an ED, i got a few people friending me who had EDs and i added them, but i kept feeling horribly triggered by their 400 cals a day customised goals, so in the end deleted.

I do believe that people have the right to their lifestyle, but im not prepared to go "WELL DONE" WTG" etc when someone is starving themselves to that extreme.

I know i will never totally be over my ED. I still get urges, and i pretty much know if i ever started putting on a lot of weight it would be an option for me again, although I do prefer the MFP way and its much better for my mental health, as well as my physical health to be able to eat and keep it down.

SaraTonin

It's been hard for me to be supportive, mostly because I don't know how. I am trying to gain, but I am not anorexic. Mostly I'm poor. My ED friends on MFP have really made me realize that my food issues aren't nearly so severe as I thought. Sure, some days I would eat next to nothing, but it was never habitual. It was never a "diet" - just emotion driven. Like binge eating but the opposite. I could always eat more when I felt better. Sure I was underweight, but never quite let it go too far.

It hurts me to see these girls go through so much shame and worry, and so much bad self-image. My heart truly goes out to them, and maybe that's all the support they need, but I feel the need to be doctor/therapist and this is just one area where I'm not qualified.

suzycreamcheese

pulling someone up on it wouldnt make the blindest bit of difference.

You cant cure an ED. The person just has to be ready to give it up in their own time and in their own way, and most people dont realise just how scary a thought that can be, especially if the person trying to get the ANA/MIA person to change their eating habits is bigger than them (sorry)

The ONLY thing thats keeping me from being in mia hell, is the fact that actually watching what im eating and exercising just works better! Im only a few pounds heavier now than i was when i was barely eating anything and throwing up everything i did eat, but that is fine for me, because im also a fair bit older and have had 3 kids since then, and being underweight in your 30s doesnt look as cute as it does on a teenager (in my opinion)

IngeborgB

This is such a good thread! I have been waiting for something like this!

I also have bulimic tendencies, and I struggle with them everyday. MFP has helped me in realizing how and when I should eat to better control these urges. And I agree with the above posters, ED is in your head, not in your weight. And it is hard to be in and hard to overcome. And they don't need anyones judgement!

Life0nMars86

*like, Thank you for standing up for ur beliefs and posting this. :flowerforyou: I'm a recovering bulemic, and will probably have to struggle with it for the rest of my life. I've also lost a very good friend due to an ED, and it still breaks my heart, so it's very hard to be friends with those who aren't actually trying to get better because it brings up too many emotions and fears in me. However, I do encourage and support everyone trying to recover from Eating Disorders, as I am in the same boat and know how very hard it is to overcome.

DarkAngel864

Thank you to all these wonderful supporters. All of your input is very thoughtful and appreciated! Big thanks to those of you who offered new information and were brave enough to admit to suffering or recovery. Much love to you all

♥Faerie♥

I love you my darkangel♥

bmontgomery87

Sorry to hear that you're being harassed.

Glad to hear you're in recovery. I dealt with anorexia in high school. Hasn't been a problem since then, but it was hell when I went through it.

ybba12490

I appreciate you posting this.

I'm not sure I could offer proper support to those members who suffer from a ED, because of my lack of knowledge and understanding of the physical and mental aspects of the disease. However, I do applaud you standing up for what you believe is right.

I agree with this. I have never an ED but I can only imagine how difficult it can be coping with that for the rest of your life. I encourage anyone to friend me and would NEVER send discouraging or harmful messages to them, but I'm not sure I could offer proper advice and/or support since I have never experienced an ED. My best friend was diagnosed as anorexic though and I find it hard to understand. But I really appreciate you posting this, I can't believe some people would be rude to you like that! It's sickening. But I can understand if they didn't know about your condition and maybe were just concerned about the low amount of calories consuming. They should be more informed about someone's situation before messaging them. There is a such thing as reading a profile, looking at a food diary, goals, etc. Good luck here! I hope you find some great support

Amybcb

awesome post! And you are correct all the way around. It is twice as hard for an ED person to try to lose weight "the healthy way" because it is so easy to slip into old bad habits and thought processes. Glad there is support here for those of us who have or had ED's.

Jovialation

Im so so glad this was posted.
I've been there and Ive been a severe over eater as well. I know both sides are extremely tough and no one should get flack if theyre trying their best not to eat or undereat themselves to death, ya know?

kirstinkrueger

I am the OP of http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/225639-shocked-at-some-weight-loss-advice?page=2#posts-2992140

I havent been on to see my thread or where it went, and i wanted everyone to know, it was a "I cant believe a weightloss webpage support this" thread, not an attack on anyone or any group in anyway and I am sorry that some people turned it into that. That is all!