HELP from other mommies!! (Not weight-loss/fitness related)

allison7922

OKAY! I have a 2.5 year old who has NEVER slept through the night! He wakes up wanting milk and because I have two and a half years of exhaustion built up, I let him have it! I tell myself every morning that "this is the night that he will sleep in his own bed and I will not let him have milk 2 to 3 times a night!" But when 2am/4am comes around and he cries and comes to sleep in my bed and wants his milk, I give in! I really need to stop doing this but it is SO HARD!!! Has anyone ever been through anything like this and will it ever end?? I know I have got to make the big changes here but I am just wondering if HE will ever NOT want to sleep with mommy and NOT have a night time bottle (the only time he has a bottle is at night)??? He has a toddler bed, he has his own room, his own tv, but NONE of this appeals to him, he would rather be with me. I love him so much and I don't mind him sleeping with me (right now) and ONLY if he didn't wake up a billion times a night! (Oh and by the way...my 13 month old has been sleeping in his crib on his own, all night, for months now) I know I've started this bad routine but I can't seem to get myself out of it! HELP!

JennsLosing

if you dont put a stop to it soon, it may last. my friend has a 7 yr old daughter...still sleeps in the bed with her. you may just have to be a meany and put him in his room, and when he wakes for milk just say no. my 3 yr old went through a stage where he would visit the bed and try to get in the bed about 4 times a night...each time i walked him back to his room and layed him down. hes going to cry, its not going to be easy, your just gonna have to tough it out momma.

RedHotRunner

That interrupted sleep can not be good for your son. I understand being tired, but you really need to fix it once and for all. Tell him he's in for the night and ignore the cries. The only reason he wants these things is because it's a habit that you let him form.

And ditch the bottle. That can't be doing his teeth any favor.

Last thing, I would not have a TV in a toddler room. It's distracting and there are studies that say it hurts the sleep process. I have a 7 year old, and we have one family TV. If she wants to be in her room, she can either read or do creative play.

1FITmamaofTWINS

I think you already know the answer to this and I think you're crazy for allowing this so long. It's very simple, he knows he cries and you come in and give him what he wants.

Once my doctor said that my twins know longer needed a bottle at 3 months in the middle of the night I cut that crap that night.

I would allow them to cry for 15 minutes at a time, then I could go in rub their back, kiss them and say I love you.
every night I let them cry a little longer....... by the 6th night dead quiet.....

they are going on 6 months & I put them to bed at 9pm, sometimes they fuss a little till 10pm but after that everything is great and they sleep till 8am

good luck

randi50

(((hugs))) my stepson had that habit. I started just giving him water and it ended. As for sleeping with you he slept with us till he was 6 and I was 7 mos pregnant and said NO MORE! lol Needless to say my other two did not get bottles in the middle of the night after about 4 mos old and they sleep in their own beds! haha GL I know it is hard, but you have to stay consistant and ride it out

kimmerroze

My advice is that you are going to have to sacrifice a few nights of sleep to get him trained to sleep in his own bed. The only reason he wakes up and asks for milk every night is because he knows you will give it to him. Quit giving it to him, and walk him back to his bed when he gets up and pretty soon he will get the picture that you aren't goign to give in.

I am not a mom, but my mother ran a daycare, and I have acted like a sudo mom to by little brothers who are 12-13 years younger than me, and this is what we had to do.

You cant give in or it will never end.

But be prepared that its not going to happen in one or two nights, its going to take some time, but my suggestion is to Stop immediately, giving him what he wants.

JennsLosing

That interrupted sleep can not be good for your son. I understand being tired, but you really need to fix it once and for all. Tell him he's in for the night and ignore the cries. The only reason he wants these things is because it's a habit that you let him form.

And ditch the bottle. That can't be doing his teeth any favor.

Last thing, I would not have a TV in a toddler room. It's distracting and there are studies that say it hurts the sleep process. I have a 7 year old, and we have one family TV. If she wants to be in her room, she can either read or do creative play.

i was going to suggest ditching the bottle as well, its not good for their teeth...especially the night time bottle, but hey, one step at a time right.

hamsmash

Our toddler we had a similar situation when we switched from the crib to a bed he can freely move about on. Time and perseverance are what worked for us. For the night milk we ended up making sure a couple hours before bed to let him have a snack and some milk. then waking up in the night we essentially locked him in his room meaning every time he comes out we march him right back in. Overall it took about a month of this before he was over both problems. After going through all that the only time he gets up once he goes to sleep is when he doesn't feel good. So stick to your guns and put the munchkin back to bed it will get better!

good luck

dspearsb

I have a 2 and half year old girl. When she was around 18months she was doing the same thing. the doctor put to me like this. "You're training her, she's not suppose to be training you." That really ticked me off! So I started letting her fall asleep with me, either in her room or mine. then I would return to my room or move her to her bed. I also stopped giving her milk. If I had to, i would go sit with her in her room, talking or singing, but not giving out milk. It took a few night but she got over it.

I know how frustrated it is when you don't sleep but you need to set up a routine for him and don't give in! I know what it's like to hear that heart wrenching cry but just remember it's for the best! Stay strong!

kbeach08

unfortunately I am in the same boat with my daughter. She will be 3 in June and it is the same thing wants to sleep with Mommy and she wants a sippy cup of milk sometime throught the night usually at least once... I agree it is SOOO HARD to say no when your half asleep and need to get up for work in the morning! Oh and she wants nothing to do with her daddy at night so my husband can't even help...

hamiltonba

Maybe if you looked at it from a health point of view. Drinking his bottle of milk at night is the worse thing you could be doing for his teeth. My mother did that w/my brother and he had cavities and teeth staining. Unfortunately, as long as you allow the bad behavior, it will continue. I don't know of any older children who had to go to counseling because their parents made them stay in their own bed. You are not hurting your child by making him go to bed in his own room. He knows how to manipulate you and it is working. Good luck and stay strong!

donicagalek

Cut out any naps (if there are any) during the day perhaps? :-/ Make the kid *exhausted* before bed so there is no waking up. No waking up = no midnight milk and no switching beds. :-D

My oldest would get up in the middle of the night still at that age. He didn't ask for a drink, but he was still waking up with us until he was 3 and a half or so. He stopped napping by the time he was two - so we had to just ride it out. Every kid is different (like you, my younger one was happy in his crib well before my older one stopped sneaking into bed with us) but I hope it's a piece of hope to know that I was there and it stopped? :-)

sillygoose1977

Just realize it's best for everyone and nip it! At the very most it will take about a week of standing your ground. A week of hell is worth it. He will not be traumatized and he will not be physically harmed.

jreese5226

This won't be super comfortable for you, and may not be a solution that fits your lifestyle, but try sleeping in his room next to his bed for a couple of nights (hopefully you have an air mattress). If he wakes up during the night, perhaps you can pinpoint why he is waking up so frequently (nightmares? he's thirsty? he's hungry? he just wants mommy?) If you can get him comfortable sleeping in his own bed with you in the room, you could then work your way out of the room and back into your bed. My son went through the same thing around 4 years of age and we rewarded him with marbles. Each night he slept in his own room he got a marble in a jar. When the jar was full, he was rewarded with a trip to Chuckie-Cheese. I don't know if your son is old enough for that to work for him, but it might be worth a try if nothing else works. It will take at least 2 to 4 weeks to get him to transition, but in the grand scheme of life, what's 2 to 4 weeks of a lifetime? Best of luck.

MelissaG36

Ok when my second child was little, he wouldnt sleep through the night cause he wanted to nurse. His ped. told me as long as I get up & nurse him he will continue to wake up & expect it. She said he his perfectly healthy & there was no need for him to eat or drink in the middle of the night. So I stopped, when he woke up screaming I let him know he was ok & went back to bed. After about the 3rd or 4th night he figured it out & has been sleeping through the night ever since (he will be 6 in Sept). 2 months after my last son was born we were transferred to Greenville. We got an apartment & since I hadnt ever lived in one & was afraid of disturbing the neighbors he slept with us alot. Basically when he woke up to nurse I just didnt put him back to bed. Once he was 2, we had to wait for him to fall completely asleep & try to sneak him in his bed, but he would still wake up & cry until he was in our bed Finally I had enough, I didnt get no sleep anyhow either with him hogging the bed or screaming to get in it. So I warned the neighbors, Stuck him in his room with his brother & let him cry until he passed out from exhaustion, being sure to give him tylenol before hand so we woudnt wake up with a headache. Took about 3 nights & he's been sleeping in his bed ever since (he will be 4 in June). I know some people are not fans of "crying it out" but its better than me not getting any sleep & being a crap all day. Snapping at my 3 childern, cause Im tired & cranky. Its not fair either way. I adore my childern & they love me as well, the "crying out" did not scar them at all. They are perfectly happy & healthy boys. My daughter was just a piece of cake when it came to sleeping
I have a friend, who I love dearly, her son is almost 2, still wont sleep in his room, still nurses, wakes her up to eat... she doesnt believe in the "crying out" & she is utterly EXHAUSTED. I feel so sorry for her, she's tired & gets sick all the time. She has absolutely no energy, shes unhealthy (& weighs 95 lbs) & its just horrible to watch. I dont think it makes us love our babies any less if they are made to learn some independence. How are they ever supposed to learn to sleep on their own if they are always with us.... Look done the road, Do you really want to have a teenager sleeping with you? Hope this helps & you get some rest soon

allison7922

Thanks everyone! I knew what I needed to do, just needed to "hear" it I guess.