i need some encouragement

khlewis85

It's been a long time since i've made any posts in the forums, but i'm finding myself in need of some sort of motivation. i am struggling with food for a long time, and anyone that knows me knows that i've been struggling with an eating disorder for about 10 years. I have found myself back sliding and i need the encouragement to get back on track and replace the weight i lost. i'm having a hard time really justifying it - and i'm eating now more than i want and/or that i'm used to. the increased quantities make me feel sick and uncomfortable, and i know it's probably mostly a mental thing right now, i am finding that my desires to purge are getting worse and worse and i've been acting on them but not really a lot - just.... like once and a while. the last few months it's been several times a day now it's just one or two times a week - but i know i need to get back on the bandwagon and gain back what i lost.... i just can't seem to want to - and i can't go to my family because i'm afraid they'll get mad - since it has been a 10-11 year battle for us all, both ups and downs....
sorry if this is rant-ey but i really need help - not help from dr or wahtever - since i am in recovery etc - i don't want that kind of advice - that's not what i'm here for.

36jessica

Hi! You've got a tough situation to handle and I'm sorry. Maybe if you posted your diet daily you'd feel more accountable. Also, when you feel the urge to purge (no pun intended), you could log on and just start writing in your blog. Every urge is a new entry. If you'd like, you can add me as a friend, but please don't underestimate your family. If they get angry it's most likely because they're worried -- any anger/frustration they could show is way better than indifference. Good luck to you.

MrsChristinaG

hello my dear.

I RARELY tell people this, but I too suffered from an eating disorder for many years. actually to this day i fight the strong urge to binge and purge. I lost over 150 lbs in 2 years due to my disorder. when my family found out how i lost the weightm they fought the battle with me to regain the weight. It was very difficult, and took time to adjust to accepting food as a good thing. I did gain the weight back, AND some. after a while, the purging stopped working for me 9 i couldn'tdo it as much since my family always checked on me, and asked me what i was doing etc. It was very, very hard to accept the weight gain. but there is no other way to lose the weight, besides the RIGHT way. It's going to take much longer now to re-lose the weight. but this time, it will stay off. and I won't be hurting myself or the people who love me. a few things I've learned from my short time of being here are:

"Don't let one bad day hold you down, never quit"

&

"If your not willing to do it for the rest of your life (the method of losing weight), then don't do it at all"

Feel free to add me.

It always feels difficult at first, but it ALWAYS also gets better. just keep pushing through. one meal, one day at a time,