How do you react to people who don't support you?

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  • cynthiakrich
    cynthiakrich Posts: 2
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    hey there.. some people just dont know when to keep there mouth shut or just say something nice. On the other hand if its coming from a guy who doesnt know what to say it usually comes out wrong. I was at work and a guy came up to me and asked if i had lost weight because he noticed my pants were a little baggy, when i told him i was running alot he said "well that sucks i kinda like girls to be a little bigger." I was crushed. I am 6 feet tall but i have never thought of myself as being a "big girl" i have always been active and i just put on a little growing pudge. People that dont care about the way they look dont know how to talk to somebody that is trying to better themselves. And alot of people are just dumb or jelous:)
  • Marcus_E
    Marcus_E Posts: 124
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    It's awful when you are achieving something for yourself and people put you down. Unfortunately it's in some peoples nature to continue to live their lives negatively.

    It's hard to ignore them, but that's what I'd suggest. Remember that you are actually setting yourself a goal and achieving it, something they probably haven't done in their lives.. This makes you better than them, it makes you inspirational and you will find that if you ignore their comments, they will eventually stop, but you may even be surprised when they ask you "how did you do it..", "can you help me".. It does happen and it's a mini hop-skip-jump of rejoice when it does..

    Keep it going and ignore the doubters - the world is full of them and unfortunately we all know at least one...
  • ahmedlogic
    ahmedlogic Posts: 29 Member
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    Haters gonna hate.

    Try to take this aspect and turn it around. I've always heard and read that when people are not supportive to one's weight loss goals, it is usually because of their own security. But whatever the reason, use it as motivation. They are only fueling the fire.

    Nothing burns me up more than when I hear someone saying that "I will end up gaining it back anyway" or that "I can't do something".

    Think about what these people would say to you if you weren't losing weight and trying to get healthy: probably nothing. So that would mean that as long as they not being supportive (i.e. being haters), you are doing something right. Jealousy is an inevitable human emotion. Like I said, haters gonna hate.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
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    I have learned that most of the haters are jealous and have feelings of itheir own inadaquecy. I say *crew 'em!!! It's their choice to stay on the couch, get bigger and stay miserable. It's not what I choose and they are not going to make me feel bad for it!
  • taiyola
    taiyola Posts: 964 Member
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    I don't get rude comments, but I get unhealthy eaters offering me unhealthy food. It was the same when I quit smoking. Smokers offered me cigarettes. I think the un-supporters fear being left behind, and they feel like they are lacking if we are successful in our attempts.

    Sometimes it even comes in the guise of being "helpful"..."Oh, you're having a bad day? Let's get ice cream (or have a cigarette)."

    I get this. Overweight people around me trying to feed me up! I can do that perfectly well on my own, thanks :laugh:

    Also, I rarely drink or go 'clubbing' and want to stop drinking for a few months, and my friends are always like 'you coming out? let's go for drinks... oh just the one! go on, it's only one!' One cake, one drink, one drunken cigarette and takeaway meal... ugh. They don't have the will power to stop drinking, smoking and eating kebabs, and they want some company so they don't feel so bad about it.
  • dieseljay74
    dieseljay74 Posts: 376
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    Don't forget the saying....." Obsession is the word lazy people use for dedication". Get's 'em every time.

    Good job and hope you reach your goals by summer!
  • wildon883r
    wildon883r Posts: 429 Member
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    I'm doing it for me. I could care less what anybody else thinks. I don't require support to accomplish my goal. Take pride in yourself that eventually most of your friends will be overweight and you will be the exception. Good Luck
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
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    Being an *kitten* elitist, with an ego that puts megalomaniacs with delusions of grandeur to shame, helps me breathe my rose-scented *kitten* throughout the day, worry-free from opinions other than mine.
  • emadigan
    emadigan Posts: 89 Member
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    Thanks for all the very humorous suggestions. In all honesty, I can't cut my boyfriend's family out of my life. And they definitely were NOT complimenting me when saying I didn't need to lose weight. They were legit being rude and invasive. I can't be rude back; I just had no idea what to say to them. A healthy lifestyle is not at all important to them. Luckily, my boyfriend feels very differently than his parents and is especially inspired since I lost weight, so we are both very committed to living a healthy lifestyle.
  • babygurl48
    babygurl48 Posts: 1,236 Member
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    from experience.. i find that people are envious when u lose weight and that is why they question the weight loss and the side remarks or whatever. i just ignore them now and do my own thing and let them eat their hearts out!!!!
  • LeeBeeW
    LeeBeeW Posts: 100
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    I haven't had too much negativity, thank goodness but I do have that alot of people ask me how I did it and expect some miracle cure/answer.
    All I say is that I got off my butt and learnt how to eat properly.

    Well done!
  • HisPathDaily
    HisPathDaily Posts: 672 Member
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    I recommend saying something back totally random ... ok ... example:

    Comment: "What made you want to start losing so much weight? Are you eating enough?"

    Response: *long pause* "You know ... only you can prevent forest fires." *long pause* ... *walk away whistling*

    Just an idea ;)
  • MyNameIsNotBob
    MyNameIsNotBob Posts: 565 Member
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    Being an *kitten* elitist, with an ego that puts megalomaniacs with delusions of grandeur to shame, helps me breathe my rose-scented *kitten* throughout the day, worry-free from opinions other than mine.

    Hilarious.
  • ImBabyBunny
    ImBabyBunny Posts: 75
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    Ew! I hear ya girl! I have been there too! Isn't it crazy that sometimes the people you would think you would get the most support from, you don't get any support from? I like to do this little thing, that I call a mental line of separation.

    What they are doing sounds like a projection of there own thoughts/feelings because of Jealousy. Mentally they could be thinking ''I am fine, I don't want to/need to lose weight.'' And seeing you having a succeeding weight lose journey, contradicts what they belive as true. (That they are happy with the way they are)

    I am a sensitive gal, so it's not easy for me to tell people off. What I find works they best is to talk about yourself in a manner that COMPLETELY separates them and you. YOU are not THEM, THEY are not YOU. So you and them don't need to be on the same page when it comes to health. And they don't need to be talking crap/saying rude comments and anything about your success that isn't positive.

    If you want, you could try saying something in the lines off.

    ''I appreciate your ummm..concern about my weight, but what you are saying is in no way helping MY future goals for my health. I prefer you keep your ever changing opinions to yourself. Thanks.''

    Look at yourself as a teacher. Of course you have room to grow, but if you are the bubbly girl who wants to help everyone get healthy, anyone who doesn't have that desire will NOT want to talk to you. Therefore no negative comments.(hopefully)

    For example if someone says ''You never needed to lose weight.'' You could reply, ''Oh, I did a little research on it and as it turns out I did need to.'' (So you did! good job!) You could also try saying. ''I want to be a healthy and happy women for myself and for my boyfriend, because we both deserve that.'' By talking care of yourself your also doing something for your boyfriend and their son. How could they be upset with that?

    One of the things I have always notice to shut people up quicker is saying ''Hey! I do not have a health problem..YOU are the one who has a problem with my health..You are the one with a weight /health problem.''

    Stay strong! Congrats on all you achievements and never give up!
  • emadigan
    emadigan Posts: 89 Member
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    I recommend saying something back totally random ... ok ... example:

    Comment: "What made you want to start losing so much weight? Are you eating enough?"

    Response: *long pause* "You know ... only you can prevent forest fires." *long pause* ... *walk away whistling*

    Just an idea ;)

    Hahaha. This is probably my favorite!!!
    For example if someone says ''You never needed to lose weight.'' You could reply, ''Oh, I did a little research on it and as it turns out I did need to.'' (So you did! good job!) You could also try saying. ''I want to be a healthy and happy women for myself and for my boyfriend, because we both deserve that.'' By talking care of yourself your also doing something for your boyfriend and their son. How could they be upset with that?

    That is pretty much what I did at the time. I just focused said I was trying to live healthier. Plus, I threw in there something about my boyfriend and the future, because they always get excited about that. That distracts them. Then I get the "when are getting married?" questions.
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
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    I can so relate. I've actually had people ask me how much I weigh, how much did I weigh, and what size my pants are!!!!
  • Rockin33
    Rockin33 Posts: 58
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    So embarrassing but I once was rude to someone without even knowing it. I had not seen a friend in a few weeks (6weeks). She always looked perfect for her height and had never expressed wanting to lose weight. Next time I saw her she was about 20lbs lighter and my reaction was to ask if everything was o.k. She was very offended. She expressed how bad she felt that I did not congratulate her. I was being sincere in my shock. But when I realized that I hurt her feelings I felt bad. The reassurance that she had lost in a healthy manner made it better for me. Sometimes people around you don't realize that it is a heavy subject. It may be something you can sort out with a frank conversation. But if they're just being haters... let haters hate. Just a small obstacle on this journey. What you think about yourself is all that matters.
  • live2smyle
    live2smyle Posts: 592 Member
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    kick them in the junk! lol, just kidding, I do not need their support I do what works for me, if they do not like it then sucks to be them.
    :laugh:
  • prov31ms
    prov31ms Posts: 62
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    I also have a friend who likes to make snide comments whenever I report meeting a goal or say something about how hard it is.

    Just to see things from the other side...

    I have had the experience where someone I know is dieting / working out / losing weight / etc... and that is ALL they talk about!!! Something I am trying to avoid doing is talking about my goals / progress / nutrition / etc. too much to those around me - I realize my "diet" is important to me & it is something I think about quite a bit these days - but I also realize other people don't want to hear about it all the time - so, I limit myself to when others ask me about how it is going so I won't be annoying to them!

    Not to say that this is what is happening - just something to watch out for - if your friend does not ask you how your weight-loss journey is going - don't tell her/him. =0)
  • Barbelizah
    Barbelizah Posts: 18 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel, my husband actually is not very supportive about the whole idea but that was the reason why I failed so many times when I try to lose weight, But not this Time I just told him straight to his face "If you don't like the idea Of me going to the gym than you know what to do", what I meant was that If he was not going to be supportive about this than i don't need him In my life :( He has no idea how bad I want to be healthy he has no clue what it feels to be fat!(He has always been skinny) He tells me I'm Neglecting my "house work" and my kids. But I try my best to not let his words get to me!!

    YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR YOU, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY YOU CAN NEVER HAVE OTHERS 100% SATISFIED!!

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