Does anyone have a spouse that undermines their efforts?

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  • AllyS7
    AllyS7 Posts: 480 Member
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    I say you thank him properly later tonight & burn off those cupcake calories naturally! :wink: :devil: :smokin:

    Love this answer!
  • OSUalum
    OSUalum Posts: 449 Member
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    Yes! Its so frustrating and I do my best to see the good intentions behind it but its still hard.
    Thank goodness for MFP to help us all with the encouragement we don't always get at home or work.
    Stay strong and keep up the good work!
  • NobodyKnows
    NobodyKnows Posts: 764 Member
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    You could say, "Thank you so much for thinking of me, but you know what? It made my stomach hurt. When my stomach hurts I don't feel like having sex."

    The end.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • jpw430
    jpw430 Posts: 20 Member
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    I know that my wife and I have both unintentionally undermined efforts while intending to be supportive or just doing things that have been appreciated in the past. The other night my wife ordered a dessert at a restaurant while we were travelling. She offered to share/split the dessert - something that I didn't want at all. We all get in habits - and between husband and wife they are all habits of sharing and expressing care and togetherness. Just as it takes time to readjust my own eating and fitness patterns, it will take my wife some time to remember that I am doing things differently. Loving reminders are going to be needed (don't snap! - that will only cause mutual hurt). I think that the idea of showing your husband your MFP eating/exercise/goals etc is a terrific idea. I am glad to see so many good suggestions that have been given - they will help me too when the next time comes up between my wife and myself. They also remind me to be considerate of my wife's needs too! We all goof at times. Sounds like you have a husband who really treasures you! I'll bet that his next little treat will be calorie-free!
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
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    You could say, "Thank you so much for thinking of me, but you know what? It made my stomach hurt. When my stomach hurts I don't feel like having sex."

    The end.

    LOL - I think my husband would say "LIAR!". As bad as they are for me, cupcakes make me feel awesome, and he knows it! It's the broccoli that always upsets my stomach. :bigsmile:
  • jkleman79
    jkleman79 Posts: 706 Member
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    This often happens as the spouse of the weight reducing person starts "looking slim, trim & drop-dead gorgeous". Whether the "enabler" (a term often used for alcoholics who cannot drink alone so they try to get others to join in their destructive behavior) is able to admit it or not. They are afraid of "losing" that healthier spouse to someone else so they, subconsciously, do what they can to destroy the other person's efforts to keep them fat. That's the bottom line...fear of loss and underlying jealousy of the unknown...it's a protective defense mechanism. That's not a bad thing but it might help you understand the behavior. Be strong and don't give in when the "treats" appear because that person loves you with all their being. Thank them, love them, and tell them that you love them enough to stay with your program and be super healthy so you can enjoy each other for more years than you want to count.

    This is great info right here!! LOVE THIS RESPONSE! =0) VERY TRUE!
  • NobodyKnows
    NobodyKnows Posts: 764 Member
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    My wife and I are both guilty of this, although we have improved quite a bit on it.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
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    You could say, "Thank you so much for thinking of me, but you know what? It made my stomach hurt. When my stomach hurts I don't feel like having sex."

    The end.

    LOL - I think my husband would say "LIAR!". As bad as they are for me, cupcakes make me feel awesome, and he knows it! It's the broccoli that always upsets my stomach. :bigsmile:

    LOL! Then I guess we know why he brings you cupcakes!!! He sounds like a really sweet guy, I bet it'll just take some time for him to get used to the idea of not bringing you treats. Men are providers, he probably just needs a little redirection. Just like it takes time for us to be able to resist, it takes them a little time to get used to idea that we are serious. Like you said, he used to bring half a dozen, so it is getting better!
  • NobodyKnows
    NobodyKnows Posts: 764 Member
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    LOL! Then I guess we know why he brings you cupcakes!!! He sounds like a really sweet guy, I bet it'll just take some time for him to get used to the idea of not bringing you treats. Men are providers, he probably just needs a little redirection. Just like it takes time for us to be able to resist, it takes them a little time to get used to idea that we are serious. Like you said, he used to bring half a dozen, so it is getting better!

    The heck with cupcakes, I would much rather have some karincakes! :tongue:
  • jkleman79
    jkleman79 Posts: 706 Member
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    I seen this morning and thought of your thread...so I wanted to make sure you all seen this quote.


    "The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. "
    ~ Ayn Rand

    Have a great day all and be strong!!!

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