dont open if easily offended, So far OT, you need a plane to
mjfer123
Posts: 1,234 Member
$ex in the Dark
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time
they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the
light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured
she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they
were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on
the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a
battery-operated leisure device… a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. “You impotent b@$t@rd,” She screamed
at him, “how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better
explain yourself!”
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: “I’ll
explain the toy . . . you explain the kids.”
Old people $ex
The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we
had $ex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where
you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.
“Yes, she
says, “I remember it well.”
“OK,” he says, “How about taking a stroll
around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?”
“Oh Charlie,
you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!”
A police
officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a
chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two
old-timers having sex against a fence.
I’ll just keep an eye on them so
there’s no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly
along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally,
they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.The old
lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans
against the fence, the old man moves in.
Then suddenly they erupt into
the most furious $ex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about
ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and
screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The
policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old
age that he didn’t know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground
recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back
on.
The Policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is
truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the
couple passes, he says to them, “Excuse me, but that was something else. You
must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to
this?”
Shaking the old man is barely able to reply, “Fifty years ago that
wasn’t a phlucking electric fence.”
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time
they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the
light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured
she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they
were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on
the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a
battery-operated leisure device… a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. “You impotent b@$t@rd,” She screamed
at him, “how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better
explain yourself!”
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: “I’ll
explain the toy . . . you explain the kids.”
Old people $ex
The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we
had $ex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where
you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.
“Yes, she
says, “I remember it well.”
“OK,” he says, “How about taking a stroll
around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?”
“Oh Charlie,
you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!”
A police
officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a
chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two
old-timers having sex against a fence.
I’ll just keep an eye on them so
there’s no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly
along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally,
they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.The old
lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans
against the fence, the old man moves in.
Then suddenly they erupt into
the most furious $ex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about
ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and
screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The
policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old
age that he didn’t know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground
recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back
on.
The Policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is
truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the
couple passes, he says to them, “Excuse me, but that was something else. You
must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to
this?”
Shaking the old man is barely able to reply, “Fifty years ago that
wasn’t a phlucking electric fence.”
0
Replies
-
$ex in the Dark
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time
they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the
light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured
she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they
were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on
the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a
battery-operated leisure device… a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. “You impotent b@$t@rd,” She screamed
at him, “how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better
explain yourself!”
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: “I’ll
explain the toy . . . you explain the kids.”
Old people $ex
The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we
had $ex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where
you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.
“Yes, she
says, “I remember it well.”
“OK,” he says, “How about taking a stroll
around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?”
“Oh Charlie,
you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!”
A police
officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a
chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two
old-timers having sex against a fence.
I’ll just keep an eye on them so
there’s no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly
along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally,
they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.The old
lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans
against the fence, the old man moves in.
Then suddenly they erupt into
the most furious $ex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about
ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and
screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The
policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old
age that he didn’t know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground
recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back
on.
The Policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is
truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the
couple passes, he says to them, “Excuse me, but that was something else. You
must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to
this?”
Shaking the old man is barely able to reply, “Fifty years ago that
wasn’t a phlucking electric fence.”0 -
“Fifty years ago that wasn’t a phlucking electric fence.”
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Cute..sent the second one to my husband and reminded him he has to check the fence..LOL0
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ROTFL!!!!0
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Those were wonderful! Thanks for the laugh :laugh: :laugh:0
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ROTFLMAO!!! Those were hilarious.0
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aaaahahahahahaha!:laugh: :laugh:
those were awesome youngblood! :drinker: more jerky comin your way soon!!!! :bigsmile:0 -
0 -
Too Funny!!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
roflmao0
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did i do good soup and ali? did I do good?:happy:0
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LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:laugh:0
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did i do good soup and ali? did I do good?:happy:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
HECK YES MONKEY BOY.....YOU MADE YOUR PIT MOMMA"S SOOOO PROUD!!!.....*throws down a big package filled w/ fav jerky, some new GUY flicks dvds, and cat rimmed glasses for your part as Rizzo in our grease revival*......you rock youngblood!!!
hugs!!!0 -
did i do good soup and ali? did I do good?:happy:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
HECK YES MONKEY BOY.....YOU MADE YOUR PIT MOMMA"S SOOOO PROUD!!!.....*throws down a big package filled w/ fav jerky, some new GUY flicks dvds, and cat rimmed glasses for your part as Rizzo in our grease revival*......you rock youngblood!!!
hugs!!!
when can we do lion king?
think were ready for broadway yet?0 -
This is hilarious!! Thanks for sharing this with us all.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
That made my lunch hour. :laugh:0
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did i do good soup and ali? did I do good?:happy:
Ali....our lil guy is growing up so fast *sigh
Great job MJ!:bigsmile:0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Those were good!0
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