No cuts, no sraps, no bruises, NO PROOF!
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Went mushroom hunting today in southwestern Indiana. It was a great day for it; low 70s, blue sky, just beautiful.
I take off down the horse trail half heartedly looking for some of those tasty morrells. Then I thought everyone looks for those things just off the trail. After carefully studying the terrain. I decide based on the trees on a ridge I should go up the ridge where no one else would be.
Now let me give you a history of the park. It use to be owned by mining companies. So those hills at one time were loose dirt and rock. Then too it had rained hard Monday.
Undaunted by history I head up the ridge, the bastage of a ridge. I struggled to get up there with all the loose soil and rocks. I keep thinking I will be the only one who does this. No other fools like me! Well I clear the ridge and there's a young man looking for mushrooms in the gully below. I tell him how deeply disappointed I was. We chat for a bit and I continue my search.
Soon I am totally engulfed looking for the things. I found a few and was thinking just a few more and I have some for dinner tomorrow. I was excited. Then after about 45 minutes I look up and wonder, "Where the hell am I?" I look around for some natural marker. None, I'm in a gully with briars, trees, stumps, and logs. It all looks the same in every direction.
Relying on my pioneer instinct (?) I say this is the direction. I continue down a gully but the gully becomes blocked by fallen trees and even more briers. Then I came to this huge hill. A huge hill with loose rock. No way I've been up this thing before!
Panic sets in. I'm tired! I've been up and down these hills looking for those mushrooms and plus the 2 hours of fishing. Oh yeah I make it a day trip. I start playing out a 911 scenario in my head. 911, hello. Yes I'm lost. I was looking for mushrooms in the forest. Okay settle down. I take it you're on your cell? Yes, does it have GPS. I think so. Well smarten the hell up! oh! blush! hehe.
So I pull out my cell and hit the GPS App. Lucky me I'm getting a signal. I see a lake I passed when I came into the woods on the screen. So which way is it exactly?! Off I go walking, through briers, leaves, and loose dirt. I re-check the GPS. I'm further away. I'm not making it home. I look at the hills I just climbed down from. Lordy, back up. I put the gps away and start walking. Half way up one hill I step on an apparently very very rotten log. Back down the hill I go on my butt. I take an inventory and hey, I'm okay. Tough bird! So back up I go. Through an amazing amount of briers again. Wow they are everywhere. Nice young tender tough ones too.
I finally see a small lake. Hey that looks like the lake I passed. Not the big lake on the GPS but a smaller one. Well it turns out those smaller ones can stretch out. I like to never found a crossing. Then when I get near. I see the trail I came in on. Once on the trail I look down and there is my beloved Jeep. I'm home!
I jump in the Jeep and call my daughter, "Daddy almost died." No sympathy just laughter. She may have heard that before. LOL.
Briers cut through my thick jeans!
briers got me again.........
and again
I need a pin on my Tee shirt that says, "You are here!"
To add insult to injury, I snagged the bag of mushrooms on the briers and lost all but one.
I take off down the horse trail half heartedly looking for some of those tasty morrells. Then I thought everyone looks for those things just off the trail. After carefully studying the terrain. I decide based on the trees on a ridge I should go up the ridge where no one else would be.
Now let me give you a history of the park. It use to be owned by mining companies. So those hills at one time were loose dirt and rock. Then too it had rained hard Monday.
Undaunted by history I head up the ridge, the bastage of a ridge. I struggled to get up there with all the loose soil and rocks. I keep thinking I will be the only one who does this. No other fools like me! Well I clear the ridge and there's a young man looking for mushrooms in the gully below. I tell him how deeply disappointed I was. We chat for a bit and I continue my search.
Soon I am totally engulfed looking for the things. I found a few and was thinking just a few more and I have some for dinner tomorrow. I was excited. Then after about 45 minutes I look up and wonder, "Where the hell am I?" I look around for some natural marker. None, I'm in a gully with briars, trees, stumps, and logs. It all looks the same in every direction.
Relying on my pioneer instinct (?) I say this is the direction. I continue down a gully but the gully becomes blocked by fallen trees and even more briers. Then I came to this huge hill. A huge hill with loose rock. No way I've been up this thing before!
Panic sets in. I'm tired! I've been up and down these hills looking for those mushrooms and plus the 2 hours of fishing. Oh yeah I make it a day trip. I start playing out a 911 scenario in my head. 911, hello. Yes I'm lost. I was looking for mushrooms in the forest. Okay settle down. I take it you're on your cell? Yes, does it have GPS. I think so. Well smarten the hell up! oh! blush! hehe.
So I pull out my cell and hit the GPS App. Lucky me I'm getting a signal. I see a lake I passed when I came into the woods on the screen. So which way is it exactly?! Off I go walking, through briers, leaves, and loose dirt. I re-check the GPS. I'm further away. I'm not making it home. I look at the hills I just climbed down from. Lordy, back up. I put the gps away and start walking. Half way up one hill I step on an apparently very very rotten log. Back down the hill I go on my butt. I take an inventory and hey, I'm okay. Tough bird! So back up I go. Through an amazing amount of briers again. Wow they are everywhere. Nice young tender tough ones too.
I finally see a small lake. Hey that looks like the lake I passed. Not the big lake on the GPS but a smaller one. Well it turns out those smaller ones can stretch out. I like to never found a crossing. Then when I get near. I see the trail I came in on. Once on the trail I look down and there is my beloved Jeep. I'm home!
I jump in the Jeep and call my daughter, "Daddy almost died." No sympathy just laughter. She may have heard that before. LOL.
Briers cut through my thick jeans!
briers got me again.........
and again
I need a pin on my Tee shirt that says, "You are here!"
To add insult to injury, I snagged the bag of mushrooms on the briers and lost all but one.
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Replies
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LMAO!!! And just what did you call this in your exercise log? lol Thanks for sharing!0
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LMAO!!! And just what did you call this in your exercise log? lol Thanks for sharing!
Hiking
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not to laugh at you but omg that was funny however im a lil confused by the 911 call scene you played in your head.. if you called and told them you were lost why would they ask if you had a cell phone? i would think you would if you called them right0
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not to laugh at you but omg that was funny however im a lil confused by the 911 call scene you played in your head.. if you called and told them you were lost why would they ask if you had a cell phone? i would think you would if you called them right
Changed it a tad. Have to have the suspense there. LOL0 -
Hahahahahaha......
Too funny!
Sounds exactly like something I would do......
:bigsmile:0 -
Thanks my friend, you're always entertaining. Will you be hiking again anytime soon?0
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I sent an email of this story to my mom and brother. My brother asked how many mushrooms did you find?
My Mom said, I'm so lucky to still have a son!
LOLOL0
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