Why we love children...

kistinbee

This is too cute not to share! Enjoy!

Why we love children ...
>
> 1) NUDITY I was driving with my
> three young children one warm summer evening when a woman
> in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was
> stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my
> 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady
> isn't wearing a seat belt!'
>
> 2) OPINIONS On the first day of
> school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his
> mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this
> child are not necessarily those of his parents.'
>
> 3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard
> to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the
> phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
> the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk
> to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
>
> 4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got
> lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
> locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into
> shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
> The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
> 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a
> little boy before?'
>
> 5 ) POLICE # 1 While taking a
> routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
> interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up
> and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?
> Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My
> mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.
> Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told
> her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot
> toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
>
> 6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of
> the day when I parked my police van in front of the
> station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake,
> was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.
> 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
> 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at
> me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said,
> 'What 'd he do?'
>
> 7) ELDERLY While working for an
> organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I
> used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
> She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of
> old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
> One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth
> soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable
> barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,
> 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
>
> 8) DRESS-UP A little girl was
> watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her
> dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you
> shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not,
> darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a
> headache the next morning.'
>
> 9) DEATH While walking along the
> sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the
> intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
> Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found
> a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be
> performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting,
> then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the
> deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the
> appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his
> version of what he thought his father always said:
> 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and
> into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my
> funeral!)
>
> 10) SCHOOL A little girl had just
> finished her first week of school. 'I'm just
> wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I
> can't read, I can't write, and they won't let
> me talk!'
>
> 11) BIBLE A little boy opened the
> big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through
> the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
> He picked up the object and looked at it . What he saw was
> an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
> 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
> 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment
> in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think
> it's Adam's underwear!'
>
> HOPE THIS BRIGHTENED YOUR DAY!!

kistinbee

This is too cute not to share! Enjoy!

Why we love children ...
>
> 1) NUDITY I was driving with my
> three young children one warm summer evening when a woman
> in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was
> stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my
> 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady
> isn't wearing a seat belt!'
>
> 2) OPINIONS On the first day of
> school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his
> mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this
> child are not necessarily those of his parents.'
>
> 3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard
> to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the
> phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
> the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk
> to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
>
> 4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got
> lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
> locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into
> shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
> The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
> 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a
> little boy before?'
>
> 5 ) POLICE # 1 While taking a
> routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
> interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up
> and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?
> Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My
> mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.
> Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told
> her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot
> toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
>
> 6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of
> the day when I parked my police van in front of the
> station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake,
> was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.
> 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
> 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at
> me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said,
> 'What 'd he do?'
>
> 7) ELDERLY While working for an
> organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I
> used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
> She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of
> old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
> One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth
> soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable
> barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,
> 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
>
> 8) DRESS-UP A little girl was
> watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her
> dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you
> shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not,
> darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a
> headache the next morning.'
>
> 9) DEATH While walking along the
> sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the
> intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
> Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found
> a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be
> performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting,
> then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the
> deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the
> appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his
> version of what he thought his father always said:
> 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and
> into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my
> funeral!)
>
> 10) SCHOOL A little girl had just
> finished her first week of school. 'I'm just
> wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I
> can't read, I can't write, and they won't let
> me talk!'
>
> 11) BIBLE A little boy opened the
> big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through
> the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
> He picked up the object and looked at it . What he saw was
> an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
> 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
> 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment
> in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think
> it's Adam's underwear!'
>
> HOPE THIS BRIGHTENED YOUR DAY!!

magichatter06

haha those are good! Thanks!!!

MontanaGirl

Thanks!!! Those were great :laugh:

AJCM

:happy: :flowerforyou:

areason4stars

:laugh:

mommared53

Those are just soooo cute!! Thanks for sharing. :laugh: