Here's my Issue, it's pretty lame

bcpie

Oookay everyone, I believe my main issue in losing weight is the amount of time I spend at the gym. I would love to spend more time there, however, I get pretty bad social anxiety. I'll either wuss out before I even leave the house or I'll spend a shorter amount of time at the gym because I get nervous about too many people being there.
What's worse is that I KNOW it is absolutely ridiculous. Nobody else at the gym cares about me working out. I have no idea why I get so anxious but it's a struggle to go there everyday. Bringing my ipod helps somewhat, but not entirely. Anybody else have this problem? Any advice to help me get over it?

Also, my self confidence is actually really great in other situations, so I don't understand.

al_berri

I have the same problem. I've tried going at odd hours when there aren't that many people there. I know people aren't there to watch me, but I still have terrible anxiety about it. I'm curious to see what others have to say about this.

pj_writer

I think it's like any situation where you feel a bit self conscious, the only way to get over it is to meet it head on and go more often. After a while you feel like you 'belong' there and feel more comfortable.

I used to feel like that when I first started going, and feel more self conscious if I've not been for a while, but if I'm going 3 times a week it feels normal!

good luck

fantomette

I so hate the gyms! So I cannot help you with that! And like you, usually I'm a social person, I love people. I just hate the gym it makes me anxious.
For me, walking or running alone with my ipod, outside, it works.
Or taking a yoga class or any other class: seeing the same few people every week is not as stressfull.

jenny2002

I try to walk 30mins a day & it really helps!!!

amstein18

what if you went with a friend you felt comfortable with? or why not try working out at home with dvds?
i kind of think the opposite of you... when there are tons of people at the gym i like it because i feel like i just blend in and nobody is watching me but when it's not crowded i stand out more

monkeybelle83

What I find usually helps me with my social anxiety is having a friend or my husband go with me. I get the anxiety everywhere I go. As for the gym, I am planning on going early in the morning, when hopefully there won't be as many people around.

bcpie

wow I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I appreciate all the advice, truly

upnorthtim

If your gym is like mine, then there are people of all shapes, sizes, and ages. Most are pretty focused on their own workouts. If they are looking at anything its themselves in the mirror...lol. Keep going and I think you will get over it. I've dealt with social anxiety, especially when I was younger, and the only way past it is to dive in head first. The more you go the more comfortable you'll be. Good luck!

LoveDLady

I don't have this problem. But I just want you to know that when I'm at the gym I see the other people there and all I think is, " God, these people are awesome!" I bet they are thinking the same thing about you.

celticgirl1787

Oh at least I'm not the only one. I feel awkward at the gym like people are watching me. I was kinda scared to go at first - and even now I still feel sefl-conscience. Some things that might help you: get on workout equipment toward the back of the room - that way it feels like less people can see you (helps me sometimes). Also, try going with a friend or your significant other. I tend to feel more confident doing stuff when I have a companion.

fsugirl26

Obviously you want to be comfortable while you're working out, and you want to be able to stay focused and motivated, so the fewer distractions you have, the better. Going to a gym may be too overwhelming for you (for now).

First of all, have you thought about investing in some exercise equipment and working out in your own home? Weights and workout videos are readily available and pretty affordable. You can also finance workout equipment such as bikes, treadmills, ellipticals, etc. Over time, you'll be spending the same as you would for a gym membership.

Second of all, if you don't want to work out at home by yourself, you can probably find a personal trainer who works in a smaller, more private environment with fewer people around.

Or, as a few other posters already said, going for walks/runs outside by yourself is great exercise too! Fresh air always makes for a better workout

marci355

I have that problem in the "unisex" area of my gym. I really don't want some sweaty bodybuilder checking me out,, even worse watching himself flex in the mirror!! Gag.....so I solved that problem. I work out in the ladies only section. Problem solved!
Gym's can vary a lot. Some are frequented by a lot of normal folks, where others consist of mainly body builders. There's a Gold's gym here in my town, where it's like that. Those guys can do some weird stuff....like shave their whole body, oil themselves down....yuck! I used to work at a vitamin store that was just down the street from this gym and believe me, those guys spent more time staring in the mirror than us ladies do! Plus, they were a pain to wait on. Just find a ladies only gym or one that has a special section for us. Much better!!

Improvised

I'm not a gym person, but it's because I find them soooo boring. When I do go, I try to go with a friend, cause it brings out my competitive nature, and makes me work harder.
I think the ideas of doing workouts on Dvds or running outside are good ideas, otherwise, try bringing a friend. You may find it less overwhelming.
Good luck!

rjohnson3452

Not lame at all, I know exactly how you feel. I think it was said best a few comments up, just dive right in, it's a good way to get rid of those fears. I brought a family member with me, HUGE help.

feevis

I also get the feeling that everbody is watching me in the gym and it makes me paranoid so i quit my membership, I bot a Gazelle Cross Trainer to use at home, I use the wii fit and I have two exercise dvds. Also I have the dog to walk. Theres no point paying for a membership if you feel uncomfortable, your more likely to have a much better work out if your not worried about other people "watching you" I think it is quite a common problem for people, particularly for me when I go to the gym and to be honest, most people there are fit and not overweight but are there because they enjoy it as part of their lifestyle. Also buying an exercise machine for home etc, annually will probably work out cheaper even though it seems expensive at the time. However, beware of the using it a a clothes rack lol I have did this before but its going to stop lol

Chickabittie

HI! Not lame at all, I feel the same way, and I'm pretty fit! It's just walking into a new environment that makes most people anxious.

Do you HAVE to go to the gym? I prefer to get my exercise outside, or do DVD's at home. I Love my DVD's! You can have a new world class instructor every day if you want. I get collage video catalogs, and they review and break down a TON of workouts. You can find them online at collagevideo.com

Good luck, there are tons of alternatives to the gym.

mom23nuts

put on your music as soon as you check in the door and don't take it off until you are done
or
ask if they have free passes for friends and family and drag someone with you for a while until you get comfortable.
or go up to someone who looks in the same boat as you and say something like....Do you think this class will be too hard for a beginner....(that's what I did and I thought I would never use my $10 month pass at the gym after the first few days) and now I go all the time.
or
get up front in a class you can handle like spinor something, tell the instructor you are new and just focus on him/her and not anyone else around you.
or
go days like Saturdays at 1pm when all the skinny moms are at their kids baseball practices. Today I went then and there was only 7 people in the whole place.
or
see if you can make friends with an older guy, sort of like a father figure with question like "how do yo adjust this bike" Are these stair machines hard on the knees" usually they are pretty ok to approach and have a helping mentality

there is always the high school track, mall walking, walking at local trails...a friend suggested paved over railroad tracks at www.railstotrail.com for walking paths

small classes at you local community center like for yoga or zumba or pilates

theresnoeggs

This explains how I was to a T. I refused to even try going for years. Just the anxiety when I got a date set to go would nearly give me a panic attack..

Finally I had a friend who was willing to let me be her guest at Planet Fitness. I know a lot of people are dead set against PF, but the whole "no lunks allowed" thing totally helped me at least set foot in the door w/ a companion.

I still tend to avoid the treadmills if there is too many people on them. Same with the machines. First thing in the morning or after the kids bedtime is a great time to go as there is usually only other chubby mom's there. LOL!


I went alone for the first time in months today, and stepped on a treadmill in a row with no one else there. In the back. Then two girls in their teens came and were just one treadmill away from me. The self consciousness kicked in and my heart start racing. I couldn't run any more. I was just too embarrassed... I can only hope becoming more comfortable in my skin will help to over come this.

alifer

I would say the being a social person and having anxiety about going to the gym are totally different. When I used to go to the gym all the time it was not really a social setting, although some people tried to make it that way. I always focused on my workout and didn't pay much attention to anyone else. In fact I often felt bothered when someone tried to make conversation while I was lifting. I know at the beginning I felt self conscious about how I looked because I was wearing tight fitting workout wear. Now that I am older, I don't really care what anyone else thinks about how I look.

jenny95662

Its not lame I know a lot of friends who are like that for all diff reasons. I know anxiety issues as I have panic attacks and need to be on meds for it so it can get really scary when you get into an anxiety state.
Now I think the gym is not for everyone and also it all depends on the type of gym you are at. When I lived in Maine I went to a golds gym there and liked the place and even did classes and stuff. BUT when I went home to visit my mom and I went to the golds near her house I was soooooo uncomfortable and I had been going to the gym for months so I think its the type of people and the envirorment. I got to the ymca right now cause it has free daycare for me and also it was an xmas gift from my mom and sister and I am so comfortable there cause its people of all ages and sizes and I just think I am here to lose weight so I dont care what others think and I am not small lol (261 pounds) Good luck its not for everyone!

elliecolorado

I am just not a gym person I haven't gone to a gym in years! I actually decided I'd rather buy an elliptical then spend money year after year going to the gym. So I use the elliptical at home and also have a yoga ball and dumbbells and do Pilates and Yoga at home with DVD's. Besides that if I am going to walk, run or ride a bike I'd rather do it outside anyway. I just try to mix up what I do every now and then and I think I get as good of a work out as if I went to the gym.

JessJoJell

I can say that I have this issue to. I can not get a good workout at the gym cause Im to paranoid about what everyone around me is doing. Ihave just started working out at home with DVDs and a used treadmill I bought. You can burn just as many calories if not more at home. Good luck!

monkeybelle83

I am just not a gym person I haven't gone to a gym in years! I actually decided I'd rather buy an elliptical then spend money year after year going to the gym. So I use the elliptical at home and also have a yoga ball and dumbbells and do Pilates and Yoga at home with DVD's. Besides that if I am going to walk, run or ride a bike I'd rather do it outside anyway. I just try to mix up what I do every now and then and I think I get as good of a work out as if I went to the gym.

I tried that, but then I never managed to use the thing. For me paying out the *kitten* for the gym membership is what makes me get off my butt and go, I did spend the money on it after all. Just gotta get into the habit of going every day, 3 weeks to make a habit right? ;-)

strapple

i absolutely hate going to the gym for the same reason

try getting some workout videos and doing them. i just started the 30 day shred but im sure there are better ones for you.

you could also get into a sport, tennis anyone?

try going on more hikes and walks

kellykat2

I know what you mean! I do better at a ladies only gym. In a mixed gym I feel inadequate, like the body builders (my husband is one of them) are critiquing my form, etc. I belonged to a ladies only gym, I loved it, went every single day for 2 hours (plus they had tanning beds and child care!) But they went out of business. Bummer. I cannot find another ladies only gym in my area. There is a Fitness USA by my house, but they alternate days for men and women, I don't like that either! I need child care, so I belong to the YMCA. I started going there, dropping my daughter off in the day care area, and then would hit a class. The classes are fun, I would always start out in the back. As the session went on, I ended up in the front.

Upstairs in the gym is another story. I don't like the work out with the machines and weights in front of the men pumping iron! I am so self conscious of that! So I don't, which makes me mad at myself, I should be able to! I use my own weights at home. I only use the track or the cardio machines.

I feel better knowing there are others out there just like me! So I guess there probably are more at the gym just like us too! Maybe we just need to bite the bullet and just go and sooner or later it will feel comfortable to us. We are entitled to the gym too!

Levedi

Just chiming in on the "you're not lame and you're not alone on this." There are so many good solutions listed already, I just wanted to say I know how you feel. Social situations make me nervous too and gyms just freak me out. BUT - you can exercise and you can get past it. if you really want to work out in a gym try looking around at different ones. Gyms are like clubs - they all have different cultures and attitudes. If you don't want to use a gym at all you could try at home DVDs borrowed from the library, Wii Fit, and jogging around the neighborhood. I jog outside in the evening and I love the freedom of running alone. It feels so private, yet I'm not isolated in a scary way.

elliecolorado

I am just not a gym person I haven't gone to a gym in years! I actually decided I'd rather buy an elliptical then spend money year after year going to the gym. So I use the elliptical at home and also have a yoga ball and dumbbells and do Pilates and Yoga at home with DVD's. Besides that if I am going to walk, run or ride a bike I'd rather do it outside anyway. I just try to mix up what I do every now and then and I think I get as good of a work out as if I went to the gym.

I tried that, but then I never managed to use the thing. For me paying out the *kitten* for the gym membership is what makes me get off my butt and go, I did spend the money on it after all. Just gotta get into the habit of going every day, 3 weeks to make a habit right? ;-)

My elliptical is in my living room , classy right? But I have gotten to the point that having it there and not using it makes me feel guilty :-) I also signed up for a 5K on the 4th of July and spent money on the registration that I couldn't really afford, so that is what tends to keep me going because I spent the money so I better be able to do it (and not finish last) by then. Different things motivate different people, but at least we are making positive changes!!!

Nansea

Try working out with a trainer. I know that they cost extra but their encouragement and knowledge will help you.

olyrose

Feel the same way! My gym (Bally's) has a women's only room that is smaller and less crowded than the regular gym. I love going into it because I figure if they're in there instead of the regular part, they want that privacy and non-judgment too. maybe try to find a gym that has something like that?

chnkydnknmomma

I don't know what gym you go to, but I joined SpaLady. For the longest time, I refused to join a gym, mostly cause I was embarassed of my size/shape/general non-atheletic self. My friend convinced me to check it out, and now I absolutely love it. It is women only, and there are women there of all different shapes, sizes, colors and abilities. From day 1 I felt very comfortable, it's a very small gym and everyone says hi and chit chats, etc...This coming Wednesday, I go in for my weight/measurements to see how much progress I've made. I have definitely lost weight, and I'm excited to see how much!

Like the Nike ads say, Just Do It...in the long run, it will be worth it!