All I see is DISGUSTED!

darla499

OMG!

I am on such a roll right now. I know I'm doing it but I'm powerless to stop it.

I was just going through my closet and came up with a whole new load of clothes for Goodwill. I don't fit them anymore. I'm 91 pounds down with about 110 to go. This should be a happy occasion, right? Wrong. BIG wrong.

I've never been able to see my progress by looking in the mirror. I just don't see it. But I KNOW I'm losing it because the scale, my clothes and my inches lost tell me I have. I've gone down from a 26 to an 18. I've gone from a 48DDD to a 42D.

But ... in the process of the clothes donation, I went into the bathroom and undressed to try on something and all I see is DISGUSTING!

Horrible. I can't IMAGINE myself nearly 100 pounds heavier! How could I have let this happen? I don't see progress, I see a whole ton of fat to lose. I am thoroughly disgusted right now.

Does anyone else go through this crap?

Collyloo

One of my sister-in-law's had a lot of weight to lose. She is almost at her goal and looks AMAZING! Hang in there! Don't worry about how you got there -- YOU ARE BACK! Keep up the AMAZING work! I only want to lose 25 pounds, and I am not working out enough for anything to happen. You have kicked *kitten* in my opinion!

JulieBoBoo

I mean this in the nicest possible way: I think you should look into getting some professional help to deal with your negative self-image. Obviously you're filled with self-loathing and it is colouring how you see yourself and how you treat yourself. This is not healthy mentally or physically. You are beautiful... you always were. Now you're beautiful AND carrying around less weight. It's time to let go of the mental weight as well.

DarMC

I do. But I try not to look...I try to keep my mind on the positive; that I am healthier and feel better. It's a change, but it's a good one. Try not to worry about your looks on the outside; when your goals are met, you can tighten up those loose ends. What's important is how you feel, within! "Hugs" :flowerforyou:

sh3lby03

I'm not happy with the way I look. But it's funny because I will look back on pictures from the healthiest I have ever been and think why can't I look like that again but then I recall those times I looked that great and I was still so hard on myself when I had a rockin' body!!! We are definitely our toughest critics, focus on your successes and let them motivate you for more:)

ronda_gettinghealthy

Oh honey ===stop right there. don't go down that road. You are amazing- go find someone who knew you when you started-ask them- look at old pics-put on an old pair of jeans. You have lost 90 pounds almost another person- I bet you look greater than you think.

emaybe

I think everyone challenged by their weight feels that way from time to time. 91 pounds is nothing to sneer at! You're doing great, just keep at it until that image changes. And if that image is being a stubborn jerk image, maybe try talking to a therapist about it. Body image issues that are very extreme are often linked to the same sort of mental health problems that eating disorders are; it might not be a bad idea to find a professional to talk to about feeling better about yourself. Seriously -- a 91 pound loss should not have you feeling down; you're kicking *kitten*!!

abra526

I know how you feel, but you have made some great accomplishments! Not only is the scale going down, and the clothes are getting smaller, but you're getting healthier too! You are doing a wonderful job of making sure you will be around for your loved ones for a much longer time. You are probably putting too much pressure on yourself. Keep your head held high, and keep up the good work!

Christine1110

Just look at how far you have come! Just take it one size lost at a time. I just want to tell you congrats for all your hard work! It has paid off ; )

faerybun

I definitely empathize. It happens to people of all shapes and sizes, it's a hard road, but try to be proud of yourself, you've made an amazing accomplishment!

lcoulter23

I am only about 8 pounds from where you started right now, and I can say that I go through this every time I look in the mirror. Although not as much as before. I feel a lot better about myself now that I have started this journey. I hate that I weigh so much, but I know it isn't entirely my fault either. a shot I used to get triggered my PCOS and insulin resistance to go from dormant to erupting like Mt. Saint Helen's. I gained 100 pounds in less than six months while watching my diet and exercising. It has taken me years though to realize that I need to do more about it than just whine and make excuses.

You will eventually discover your progress and see all the good you have done for your body.

kirstinkrueger

We are our own worst critics! sure you still have a way to go till your goal and you don't look like you want to.....YET
but look how far you have come!! 91lbs is no easy task! That is amazing!!! If i have learned anything about myself on this journey it is to embrace the progress you have made and use it as inspiration to keep going, and not to look at how much more you have to go!

It's easier for me to tell myself every morning how proud i am that I have lost over 100lbs then to look in the mirror and go GEEZE I have a long way to go!

keep up the good work!!! You are awesome!

Kallisti

It's easy to see nothing but the flaws in yourself. We all spend a lot of time looking in the mirror and thinking about what we'd like to see change. I've started getting compliments on my weight loss in the past few weeks, and it's been embarrassing, because I keep thinking, "But I'm still really fat!" When I see old pictures of myself I don't think, "Wow, I look so much better now" - I cringe. And then today I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the gym and did a double take... I honestly didn't recognize myself. And even though I'm not where I want to be, I'm getting there one day at a time, and I can see all my hard work in the body I have right now, right this very moment. Be proud of what you've accomplished; you deserve to be.

30tips

Well, for starters, don´t look at yourself THAT MUCH without clothes. Instead, look at yourself WITH clothes on, especially if they´re new and you´re wearing heels or something that makes you feel good about yourself.
Next, it would be a good idea for you to think about what things make you feel bad about yourself, that aren´t physical, in case that is affecting the way you look at yourself physically. You might also ponder about what kinds of "voices" you´re hearing, whether it´s your own self-critic, or words that other people have said to you in the past and figure out how to counteract them so that you can be more relaxed with yourself.
Finally, maybe you are so intent on the final goal that you are pressing yourself to feel bad about not having got there yet instead of congratulating yourself on all the work you´ve already done. Maybe you´re afraid that if you let yourself off the hook, you can´t trust yourself to keep going. Sometimes other people do the same. They don´t congratulate us for fear that we´ll stop trying hard.

jghoffman

Trust me when I say this. You are not alone. This is extrememly common especially when you spend most of your time being upset with your appearance and your life style. You have some self image issues and that is nothing to be ashamed of, and seeing a professional would be helpful. You have to love your self first before you can see the progress. You have come a long way and even though I don't know you and we have never met I am proud of you and your accomplishments. Keep your head up. Everyone here believes in you.

spcopps

I'm not happy with the way I look. But it's funny because I will look back on pictures from the healthiest I have ever been and think why can't I look like that again but then I recall those times I looked that great and I was still so hard on myself when I had a rockin' body!!! We are definitely our toughest critics, focus on your successes and let them motivate you for more:)

I was the same way. I was 114 lbs at 5'5" and even then wore a t-shirt over my swimsuits. I NEVER wore a shirt that didn't cover my stomach even when wearing a pair of jeans and my shorts were always on the long side. Man what I would do to have that body back LOL. I do believe we "at least most of us" see ourselves the way we "think" we look and not how we actually look.

Michelle_J

You've lost 89 pounds. 89 POUNDS!!!!!!! Do you know how awesome that is? When I fee like that, I go back and look at pictures of me at my highest weight (and there's not many bc I wouldn't allow it) but it reminds me of where I was 34 pounds ago and where I am now. I may not look like I want to look now but it's a work in progress. And I know that. Don't get discouraged. You've come this far, you got this girl!

kirstinkrueger

I'm not happy with the way I look. But it's funny because I will look back on pictures from the healthiest I have ever been and think why can't I look like that again but then I recall those times I looked that great and I was still so hard on myself when I had a rockin' body!!! We are definitely our toughest critics, focus on your successes and let them motivate you for more:)

I was the same way. I was 114 lbs at 5'5" and even then wore a t-shirt over my swimsuits. I NEVER wore a shirt that didn't cover my stomach even when wearing a pair of jeans and my shorts were always on the long side. Man what I would do to have that body back LOL. I do believe we "at least most of us" see ourselves the way we "think" we look and not how we actually look.

agreed ! i was so self conscious in HS and college and always thought I was BIG and now i look at those pics and i would kill to look like that again, and i am getting there! you are always going to see your own flaws! but no need!

darla499

Thank you ... each and every one of you.

Your comments are very kind. And you're all inspiring. I see that each of you has come such a long way! Some of you have even been up there near where I was/am. That's encouraging.

I just wish I could recognize my own hard work and progress as easily as I can see it in everyone else. Somehow what I do is never "good enough." I work in the mental health field ... maybe I do need to see a therapist, it'd be as easy as walking around the corner into an office at lunch time :laugh:

Thanks again ... you're really appreciated.

JulieBoBoo

Thank you ... each and every one of you.

Your comments are very kind. And you're all inspiring. I see that each of you has come such a long way! Some of you have even been up there near where I was/am. That's encouraging.

I just wish I could recognize my own hard work and progress as easily as I can see it in everyone else. Somehow what I do is never "good enough." I work in the mental health field ... maybe I do need to see a therapist, it'd be as easy as walking around the corner into an office at lunch time :laugh:

Thanks again ... you're really appreciated.

Honestly, I don't know how anyone can go through such a life altering change without needing some kind of therapeutic help whether it be from a medical professional or very supportive understanding friends.

mommacool

Another idea, instead of focusing on how you look undressed, which I still find hard, because I have a way to go too, but I do look at myself dressed up with better fitting clothes, and notice how I am not pulling and tugging my clothes, and how they fit so much better. Try to appreciate the progress you have made. Concentrate on things like...your coat is not so tight, your blouse buttons are not popping, and your pants fit so comfortably and things like that. I find that helps me to overcome some of the disgust I feel when I think about how much weight I let myself gain and how I look in the mirror undressed.

darla499

Another idea, instead of focusing on how you look undressed, which I still find hard, because I have a way to go too, but I do look at myself dressed up with better fitting clothes, and notice how I am not pulling and tugging my clothes, and how they fit so much better. Try to appreciate the progress you have made. Concentrate on things like...your coat is not so tight, your blouse buttons are not popping, and your pants fit so comfortably and things like that. I find that helps me to overcome some of the disgust I feel when I think about how much weight I let myself gain and how I look in the mirror undressed.

Thank you!

Yeah, yesterday was just a really "off" day for me emotionally. Today is a better day (so far) and I get to wear a new outfit to church so I'll feel better. And ... I'll stay out of the mirror naked for awhile