HELP

Drealicious

so i have recently been slacking on mfp..not logging in. For a few months i was crazy and logged in down to the last detail of what i ate. I lost 9 pounds. but ive gained almost all of it back. My self esteem is horrible, and i dont know what to do to get me motivated. its like food just takes over my brain, and i stop thinking in the moment when im eating.
ANyone else feel like this? what shld i do?