How are you changing?

Options
xerinx2011
xerinx2011 Posts: 222
in Chit-Chat
Well as the weight is coming off im noticing that im becoming a different person.

Im so much girlier than i used to be.. I havent worn dresses for maybe 10 years but since the weather has been good ive been wearing them everyday! Instead of comfy ballerina pumps its been strappy sandles and im taking so much more pride in myself. I actually care about how i look now!

Im not scared about what people think of me anymore and have a million more times confience than ever. The thing is my other half has noticed these differences in me too and i dont think he likes them. Hes always been with the fat girl who plays ps3 and who used to get panic attacks when going out. Now i wanna go out and show off the new me, im making so many more friends and I get chatted up quite a bit. He doesnt know how to handle it and seems to be in denial i guess.

I seem to be in a catch 22, i love feeling good and im liking the person im becoming but i dont like the way he is about it. He buys me chocolate and junk food and then gets offended when i dont eat it. He seems to be sabotaging my efforts i guess.


So what changes have you noticed and how do people react towards them?

Replies

  • KatyE213
    KatyE213 Posts: 446 Member
    Options
    Sadly its not an uncommon reaction, he is probably feeling a little insecure that you might outgrow him. You just need to give him lots of reassurance (God men are like children!) so that he knows that you still want to be with him, and that you are changing for YOU not to get a new man! Good luck :smile: xx
  • RNewton4269
    RNewton4269 Posts: 663 Member
    Options
    Have had very positive reactions to my weight loss and lots of encouragement from friends and family. My boyfriend loves the fact that I am getting healthy..it has made him think about his own waist line.
  • lizzycomp
    lizzycomp Posts: 64
    Options
    Sadly its not an uncommon reaction, he is probably feeling a little insecure that you might outgrow him. You just need to give him lots of reassurance (God men are like children!) so that he knows that you still want to be with him, and that you are changing for YOU not to get a new man! Good luck :smile: xx

    Well said.
  • KittMahan
    KittMahan Posts: 106
    Options
    This happens when one partner makes life changes for the better and the other is comfortable where they are. Often in insecure men, but not always. It's human to fear someone will change and want something else in other parts of their life too.

    I'll take a small bit of exception to Katy's comment about good men being like children. I mean, all adults are like children at times, and I know it's fashionable to call men babies too. Heaven knows many men act that way.

    A secure man will celebrate your weight loss (or other achievement) and be happy about it.

    Love means celebrating your lover's successes, if you ask me. Love is wanting your partner to be strong and beautiful.

    Katy's right about reassuring him. Do that, but remember that it's his job to support you as you get better, and that he will reap the benefits if he doesn't get stupid about it.

    Great work!

    Monty
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
    Options
    My wife plays both sides, she says she's happy for me for losing weight, but then tells me repeatedly that I'm too skinny and that I shouldn't lose any more.

    I have found myself checking the mirror more often to see if I can see any new muscle definition. I also like to flex my stomach and feel to check how much fat is left.

Categories