SBF, Reboot Boogaloo, Apr 18

yoginimary

Morning peebs. We miss the other peebs who haven't checked in - come back!

I got plenty of sleep last night, yet I'm still a bit tired. I'm sore too, so that's good. I still have that strange soreness in my shoulder, though it didn't hurt doing handstands yesterday - so maybe I'm sleeping on it in a weird way.

Today's plan: teach and go to yoga, get a walk in. Yesterday it was only about a mile walk, so I need to make it a little challenging today.

Over and out, boogaloo.

mechanicmom

CP, Mummsy, WL, Bobbi and everyone else! We miss you! Come check in!

Mary, I have had some weird pains too that I have to chalk up to sitting/laying weird. I have been sleeping better so maybe I'm sleeping hard in one place for a long time. Could that be what's going on with you? While I was in Russia I had a sore on my thigh and I couldn't figure out why. Then the last day I was there I realized I was leaning up against something everyday when visiting Miss I and that was causing a bruise. Maybe something like that?

I am beginning to think my thyroid is finally balancing out more. I actually felt excited about the adoption for a second this morning! It was a flutter in my tummy! I haven't felt anything like that at all since before the med change. I also have pigged out the last three days and was only up half a pound today. A couple of months ago I would have been up three pounds. I have been SO hungry! We are going to the doc this morning for our physicals and we will talk about the thyroid and adrenal fatigue.
I also need to get housework done today and I'd really like to get a work out in, but house work may be my work out since it's pretty bad.
Last night after dinner I forgot to put Alex's chocolate milk in the fridge. (He usually returns to it after eating and finishes it.) It's rice milk and chocolate syrup. This morning he tells me he finished it! This morning! After it has been sitting out all night. Ugh! I feel like a bad mom. :frown: He drank it probably an hour or so ago and seems fine so far. Maybe rice milk doesn't spoil like milk does. He said it tasted okay. :ohwell:
It's things like that that make me realize I have got to get things under control in my house. It's not like a huge wreck but there's just stuff out. It really shouldn't take that long to get it straightened up. Must do it today!

Milk does the body good? boogaloo.
MM

lotusfromthemud

Yeah, other pebbs, come out wherever you are!

I had intended to go to dance today, but after Zumba yesterday (with a special guest star, super intense sub) and a very severe massage I am opting to go to the gym later for an elliptical session. I think my hips need a day off. The massage therapist worked on my left hip until I had to ask her to stop. It feels bruised this am, despite ice and heat yesterday. Apparently, there are adhesions in both glutes. Boo. I'm turning into one giant super muscle.

Did well on the food goals yesterday. With my current stress levels and health issues preventing me from exercising at my usual levels some of my old binge demons have returned, and I haven't been being honest about it, either. It hasn't been up to my old levels, but it's escalated enough to frighten me. To that, I want to start sharing with you guys. So, current days without a binge: 2. (Friday was the ice cream incident). I want to continue with my current food goals this week, which are 1. eating when hungry, and then setting a timer for an hour after I've eaten. I will then journal a page on how the food I ate made me feel (am I hungry already again? Still satisfied? Do I still think that potato chips were the best choice for lunch? This sort of thing) 2. No eating after dinner. And, for now that's it. I'm trying to just put myself in touch with my eating in a different way, because the tight pants say that what I'm doing now isn't working.

Super muscle (in a bad way) boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

mechanicmom

V, good job on not binging for 2 days! I've been binging for 3!

Doctor update: It turns out our doctor is pretty good. (I'm still not sure about his solution for the cyst in my wrist, but...) He looked at my numbers and said they aren't where he wants them to be. And then he looked at me and asked how I was feeling. I told him and he nodded and I asked him about adrenal fatigue. He said he does have Drenamin that he can give me, but he wants to do a test for mono first. He said I could have had mono for years and it's been dormant but with all the stress it could be surfacing, causing the thyroid changes and the adrenal fatigue. So they drew more blood today. I should find out tomorrow. He already gave me two prescriptions for it and my two thyroid prescripts. He also gave Steve a prescript for the "IBS" symptoms he's having. Well, we are really in the hole financially so I could only get my thyroid pills filled today because I need them to live. :laugh: I hope and pray we will have the money to get the others soon if I need them. So it was a good and helpful visit.
Also I was excited to see that my weigh in at the doc's office was under 155! Yay! It's always been over.
As far as a work out, I really want to work out but I am wondering about just focusing on the house (like scrubbing floors, cleaning up clutter, scrubbing the tub) until I get it clean and then the guilt will be gone and I can focus on working out again. Cleaning is exercise after all and I need to probably stay off my knee a few more days. I seem to be having a hard time catching up after being "sick" for so long. I feel bad for not working out though. :frown: Kind of feel like I am failing myself and my pebbs. Does that make sense?

Not failing; flourishing boogaloo!
MM

cp005e

Hey everybody. Mary, are you all done with your teacher training? Are they doing a graduation or anything for you? MM, I'm glad your doctor is listening to you. I hope you figure out what's going on. And, congrats on the weight loss. :happy:

V, seriously, get out of my head. (just kidding - feel free to tidy up in there if you have time! ) I've been on a serious binge-fest lately. Most of last week it was Clif bars and Snickers bars. Friday it was taking some of EACH of the desserts that they had for the monthly birthday celebration (carrot cake, angel food cake with strawberries and chocolate cupcakes). Saturday it was more cake at my friend's daughter's birthday party, and then chocolate mousse and (yes) more cake at our friends' wedding. Mostly, it's just finding myself looking for something to eat ALL THE TIME for no good reason. But, after the disaster that was last week, I've decided on no sweets until my friend's birthday party in 2 weeks. I like your idea of journalling an hour after eating. I'm pretty sure the main thing is depression - the "why bother" monster. So - days without binging: 1. I don't want to have to think about food all the time, but I'm afraid of what not thinking about it allows me to do.

I'm also realizing how much I depend on my husband to re-enforce my good habits. We've both been slipping (for different reasons) and it's just one more thing (on top of working late, and having a bum ankle) that always makes it easier to just go home and spend time with him instead of going to the gym. And have ice cream if he's having some. Etc. But, most of my pants are tight now, and I'm sadly turning to the slightly larger ones I had stuck in the corner of my closet but not donated like I should have. Darn.

No binge, boogaloo.

mechanicmom

Aw, CP, I hope you can get back on track soon, but don't beat yourself up. I hate the "why bother" monster. :frown: I can relate to so much of what you said. I hope you can stay binge free now. :flowerforyou:

I guess I'd better make a quick post here. I need to leave earlier than usual and drop off adoption paper work to the doctor for him to sign and notarize. Such a different experience than last year when they got frustrated with all the paper work.
I am going to work on eating more proteins. The doc told me to eat more protein and lower carbs (which is a given for a "diet" right?) so that my blood sugar will stay more level. He wants me to eat every two hours, just a little protein. I need ideas. I do not like things like hummus, chick peas, or lentils of any kind. :ohwell: I'm really picky. I'm going to get some nuts today and possibly get cottage cheese (dairy is really not the best thing for me. I can take a pill though.) and yogurt etc. I tried Greek yogurt not too long ago and I'm sorry but I found it disgusting. Are you suppose to put stuff in it? lol. How do you all feel about soy? I have heard that having it a lot is not a good thing. I thought about getting soy yogurt or soy based protein powder, but I don't know.
I did get some house work done yesterday, though not enough. I will try to work out this afternoon. After a full morning I tend to crash, but I did up my meds this morning so maybe that will help? I am also wondering about taking my B vitamins at lunch to help me through the afternoon. That may not be a bad idea. I will try it today and see if it helps.

Can't think of a boogaloo, boogaloo!
MM

lotusfromthemud

Morning pebbs,
Confessions first, I did not work out yesterday. My pain level was way crazy high, and I was having my one day a cycle that is super low energy. Today is walking for sure as I have to get this butt (literally) moving again. I have to give the massage therapist feedback that she crossed the "too much pressure" threshold. It's crazy because I don't know during how it will feel after, but I sort of feel like I got hit by a truck. Ugh.

Anyway, MM, since you eat meat, one of my go-tos is low sodium nitrate free sliced deli meat. Or those little laughing cow or baby bel cheeses. I mix "all fruit" jelly into the Greek yogurt. Or, I make a protein shake with egg white protein powder, frozen berries and this coconut milk stuff by a brand " so delicious" or almond milk if you need dairy free and high protein. In fact, those all sound like things I should be snacking on. (even though I'm trying to avoid saying "should" to myself). Also, since I'm in advice mode, I take the b complex in the am, or it keeps me up at night time.

Yep, CP, I have to watch the "I'll have what he's having" with my husband, too. Some times I sort of pout eat with it. I'll see that he ate something "fun" and then get petulant and say "I want ice cream, too". Sort of an unfairs binge.

I did good with food goals yesterday. I enjoyed the observing how the food made me feel after I ate it. Winners in the feel-good an hour later category: a tuna melt with shredded carrots on Ezekiel bread with a salad for lunch and Greek yogurt with pecans for dinner. Losers: two gingersnaps, a cup of coffee and a small handful of potato chips for breakfast. Hey, don't judge.:laugh: There were no groceries. Lesson of the day: do not trust your husband to provide groceries, or count on " grabbing food after the workout" when you're not sure you'll feel up to the workout.

Still learning after all these years boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

yoginimary

CP - what about walking outside as your "time with your husband"? We frequently do that - it's not exercise, it's time together. Though I heard it snowed :noway: in Michigan yesterday - and y'all are at the same latitude.

My thoughts on soy - there's nothing wrong with regular soy - edamame is nom, especially with salt. It's high in magnesium, just so you know. I will do soy yogurt if I'm on antibiotics (because I don't like the "wang" of normal yogurt), but I think regular is better for you. I like all nuts.

I'm lucky Charlie is only 5'5". I usually eat whatever portion those around me eat!

I ended up having to teach both yoga classes yesterday, so no yoga for me. We went for a date walk though. Today, I'm going to have a stronger walk then some yoga this afternoon. I spent all morning writing up a workshop review. That's what you get when you ask my opinion.

I'll learn to eat what will satisfy me in the long run, boogaloo!

mechanicmom

Thanks for the protein ideas. I am having a problem not overeating because I am used to 3 bigger meals and a snack in the afternoon. I will work on this.

V, how are you feeling today? Still feel like you got hit by a truck? I hope you are doing better!

Mary, I like the thought of a "date walk". Steve and I need to do that more often.

I finally managed a good work out yesterday. I'm still unsure about my knee. It hurt part of the time while walking on the treadmill, but not all the time. It's sore this morning, but not horrible. It doesn't appear to be swollen after exercising. It was nice to get a work out done. I also started logging again (see how long that lasts ) and raised my calories to 1500 because I am so hungry right now.
Today is cleaning, school work, lunch with a friend, and then I am not sure. I am trying to think of a work out that won't bother my knee. Then we have church tonight.

Short post boogaloo!
MM

yoginimary

I'm trying to decide if I should go to a yoga class at noon or not. If I don't, I won't get my practice in - or at least I never have before when I'm teaching two classes in one day. I don't see how people do this for a living. I can only brain so much. My brain was exhausted on Monday night, thus the walk. That might happen again today.

A yoga student made the following comment Monday night "we usually get smoke from Mexico this time of year, but we are making our own this time" . It's hazy and generally unpleasant outside right now. I'm thinking bike ride tomorrow, though it's supposed to be windy.

That's all my braining, boogaloo.

lotusfromthemud

Morning pebbs,

I feel a bit better today, I think because I've been able to move around. Dance class was challenging but do-able. My hips are still killing me. I'm looking forward to yoga class tomorrow, big time. I'm also pondering a visit to the chiropractor today due to numbness in my hands which means that my neck and shoulders are frozen or getting there. I read this article the other day about someone who lost their disability coverage because they were discovered to be working out. . .I think about this often. I work out through a lot of pain, and I work through a lot of pain in my job. I'm not, nor do I think I would ever ask for disability (like rather than working) but I do get a few extremely minor accommodations at my job due to being disabled (if I'm having a flare, I can call the library and have books pulled out of the stacks and pick them up at the desk, for example). I think there is just a lot of misconception about what the spectrum of being disabled actually means, and it sort of makes me cranky. My workouts are one of the main reasons I a: stay off opium-based painkillers (if I was on these, I believe I would be on full disability and a huge burden to society) and b: am not majorly clinically depressed. The world has a long way to go with understanding chronic pain. (climbs down off of soapbox, haltingly due to pain and stiffness in hips).

So, workout of the day is over. I now have to do braining. My brain is pretty tired, and the weather is not helping (mix of stupid cold rain/possible snow rain mix/general blah in the forecast) but I have to get busy and think about producing something. It would help to get feedback on what I produced, but I have to learn how to produce the next thing before I hear about the last thing. Wheeee!

Success again on the food goals. But. . .starving last night around 9 p.m. I don't think I ate enough during the day, especially at dinner. I think I might have to either eat a bigger dinner or plan a structured evening snack. I will ponder and report back. No binge-type behaviour since Friday. I did have sort of an urge yesterday afternoon. I think that the "purpose" of the binge for me as of late is to serve as a "mini-vacation". I'm having problems turning off the brain from worry, from thinking, from braining and it's very, very tired. I've been using the binge to go away for a little while. I have made a list of other ways to do this, and I'm trying to use those instead. The added attraction of the binge behaviour is that it feels naughty and rebellious, if that makes sense. This naughty-rebelliousness makes it feel like a more fun option than more virtuous mini-vacations like meditating or a bubble bath, even though I know those are non self-destructive options. Even though I know that hurting myself should not seem like "fun", and I understand that there is major cognitive dissonance in the urge, the urge is still there, and still powerful. This is why I think it's an actual eating disorder behaviour (it definitely feels compulsive) and not just "hey, cake is delicious". Stuff to ponder. . .

Pondering boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

Also, novella boogaloo, sorry.:flowerforyou:

mechanicmom

V, I think I can understand your "mini-vacations" with food. I do the same thing, though I just didn't have a name for it. I also do those "I deserve it" and "Hey my husband is eating it" things. I find any reason to eat. :laugh:
Mary, I hope the air is clearer this today! We have gotten smoke from the fires in the west.

I forgot to tell you all that I threw away a cookie on Tuesday! This is a big deal. :laugh: It was given to me and I took two bites (should have stopped at the first one). It was so sweet that it was almost like instant sugar buzz. Things are rarely too sweet for me, but that was like a donut. I can't eat donuts. Actually I'm pretty sure that cookie was worse than a donut. So that was a small victory.
Also my mono test came back negative and the nurse sounded really surprised. She said they almost always come back positive. So yay! I am starting to feel a little better each day though I'm still not sure about it sticking around. A little gun-shy I guess.
I am working today on portion sizes as well as logging my food. I am starting to realize (starting ming you) that what I eat is effecting my health. It has never bothered me about heart disease and all that. Still really doesn't. Ignorance is bliss maybe? But I am thinking about how sugar and wheat drag me down and how protein will keep me more level during the day. I went to a deli yesterday and was so excited to find that they have gluten free bread! So Alex got to eat a PB&J and I got gluten free bread on my sandwich. It didn't taste bad but it was dry. :ohwell: But I wasn't falling asleep after I ate! Progress! I did eat all my potato chips though. I was trying not to even get them, but I must have been hungry because I ate almost the whole sandwich (except the really dry bread parts), the chips, pickle, and the fruit (without the fruit dip!). And those strawberries were the best I've had all season! I did not get to work out yesterday, but I was still close to my calories. And I got my catch-all in the living room cleaned off. So all in all in was a good day!
So goals today: watch portion sizes, log food, buy healthy at the store, clean another area in the house, and either scrub the tile floors (glue from tree has to be scraped off) or rake the front yard. (The front yard is an eye sore. I've tried and tried to make it look nice. I give up. I think I am going to plant Asian Jasmine up there and let it go to town. It's easy, can be trimmed and grows fast. I really don't like ground cover but nothing else is working.) Overslept this morning so a little behind already!

Small victories boogaloo!
MM

lotusfromthemud

Morning, pebbs,
My little auto-correct has learned "pebbs". . . cute. Also, sort of creepy.

The observing an hour after I've eaten seems to really be helping. Just a really objective observation of "is this helping or hurting your body/helping you stay satisfied and full?" vs. " these foods are good and virtuos and these foods are evil and make you a naughty naughty bad person!" just objective calm perspective. My only thing yesterday that felt slightly overindulgent was too much chocolate peanut butter with an apple (it was one of those "oh, you might as well just finish this jar" moments). What I thought was an extra tablespoon was more like an extra two tablespoons, once it was on the plate and not in the jar. Context is everything.

Also, I blogged yesterday about some stuff that's been happening these past few months. I'm in full disclosure mode.

Today is yoga, probably walking home from yoga, and dropping off the chapter to another advisor. (yay/eek) Also, I'm singing in church tonight (it's been a while) so I have to carefully ration my energy today.

Calm perspective, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

yoginimary

Yeah for small victories! In a way, these are the only victories we have. We don't lose weight, pay off a house, have a happy marriage as a big victory, it's a bunch of small ones.

So, my SIL sent me a cryptic message on Facebook. She said "if there was EVER a time to randomly call your brother, NOW would be the time". Let me explain something - I never call my brother. We get along fine, and we care about each other, but we aren't that close. I don't call either of my brothers or my sister for that matter (or anyone if I can help it, I don't like to talk on the phone - the phone was a just a device for getting information across before there was email) - we are a family that works through my mom - she keeps us together. So this is an odd request. She's somewhat new to the family, so to her, calling someone might be normal. I just needed to get that out. I'm going to ask her what is going on.

Anyway - my husband said I did a great job teaching last night, so another small victory. Today, I'm teaching at noon, running errands this afternoon, planting this morning + walking + yoga, and then the university fashion show this evening. My yoga teacher, teaches textile and design at the university, so we get good seats.:laugh: It's odd, I'd rather not dress up, but my friends are dressing up - so I will.

Small victories, boogaloo!

mechanicmom

V, I want to know what this chocolate peanut butter in a jar is. Actually maybe I don't. I could go crazy. But it sounds good especially with an apple.
Mary, That's interesting about your SIL saying you should call your brother. Hope everything is alright. I don't like to talk on the phone either but I do like talking to my sisters. My brothers are hard to talk to, of course they are still teenagers.

I didn't work in the yard since it was raining this morning. Not complaining! I decided to scrub the floors by hand with a razor blade. The tree in the front yard drops balls that contain super glue. So the break open outside, stick to our shoes and put brown glue all over the floor. :grumble: If this was our house, that tree would have been torn out the first year we were here. It drops these balls starting in November and continues until March. So my floors have been a mess...until today! :bigsmile:
I am doing good on my "diet" today but I have a bad headache so I think I am having withdrawals. I don't know what from. Food I think. :laugh: I have also been super duper hungry today. I stay full for maybe 30 minutes to an hour. I'm not used to this, but I know it is good for me and I will not die. I am so looking forward to dinner! :laugh:

Making progress boogaloo!
MM

lotusfromthemud

It is made by a company called "peanut butter and company", and it is the devil. I find it is not as sweet (although it is sweetened) as nutella, and doesn't trigger me. Nutella is essentially a candy bar that you can spread, period.

The company makes several flavours, and they are all evil but delicious. They are my special portion-controlled treaty snack-times.

I think even as a renter I might find a way for such an evil tree to, um, "meet with an accident".:devil:

Had a good yoga class today. After what you said, Mary, I researched my senior teacher, and she's like one of the senior teacher in all of North America! No wonder she's so impressive and grounded.

I'm trying to stay in a very quiet place. In addition to lots of other singing, I have to chant the psalm tonight, and it is a very emotional psalm. When I was first going through my isms diagnosis, I read it every single day when I was very scared and in a lot of unexplained pain. It's already a pretty emotional thing, from a religious standpoint, and when I add to it my personal relationship to this psalm, well, it's a hard job) My goal is to get through it with minimal crying. (People say "Oh, you are so emotive. . .it's so moving!" like I'm acting. :noway: I'm not acting. ) There's one line "I am poured out like water." Which I think is the most evocative description I've ever read anywhere for physical exhaustion.

mini-nervous-novella, double boogaloo, boogaloo.

yoginimary

Yeah, I'm think I need to go to TO to take class with your teacher

I like these individual nut butter/ chocolate packs by Justin nut butters. The Hazelnut/Chocolate, Almond/Chocolate, and PB/Chocolate are my favorites - but mostly I like that it's already measured.

cp005e

The added attraction of the binge behaviour is that it feels naughty and rebellious, if that makes sense. This naughty-rebelliousness makes it feel like a more fun option than more virtuous mini-vacations like meditating or a bubble bath, even though I know those are non self-destructive options.

I definitely relate to the self-destructive vacations seeming more attractive for some reason. It's hard to explain why, since usually after the first couple of bites most of the pleasure is gone and it's all numbness/punishment. The more virtuous vacation means you have to believe you deserve it, or are worth building up instead of tearing down... and if I'm stressed or numb, that's a harder psychological hill (for me) to climb. I don't have to prove anything to junk food. If I feel bad at the end of binge, well, that's almost expected - I *knew* it was bad for me. But if I still feel bad after I did something that was supposed to be good for me, then I must be really screwed up.

My husband asked me a great question last night. It was, "what do you carry around that you think is not you?" For him, it was anxiety. It may affects his behavior in significant ways - but it's not part of who he feels he *is*. For me, I think it's "accommodation". It's a lot easier for me to go along with, or react to, someone else's visible expressed need/want/expectation, than it is for me to figure out what I actually want. It's more than people-pleasing (or cat-pleasing ), or self-doubt, or avoiding conflict - I actually put off or push aside feeling (or figuring out) whatever I might be feeling because it's easier to justify responding to an expressed desire outside myself than sitting around figuring out whether I would have a better idea. Well, alright, maybe that is self-doubt. :laugh: I'm not repressing my thoughts/feelings, I'm actually aborting them. I can't figure them out quick enough to keep from being uncomfortable, and so I distract myself and go along. I don't give myself any space to be creative, because it's easier to find something else to focus on. But when I'm doing things that I am good at, or am truly engaged in, I'm not thinking like that. When I look at myself and my behavior, I realize, "that's not me."

OK, so, maybe that doesn't seem to be related to what you said. But, I think a lot of us carry these things around with us. And maybe they aren't things that you will ever be able to just shrug off like a sweater, maybe they'll always be there and they'll always affect you. But you can still have those times when you can really look at yourself and say, you know what, that's not me. It's just something I carry.

I have not eaten any sweets since Sunday. I am still feeling compelled to eat all the time, but I am drowning it in water, apples and carrot sticks. Binging for me just can't happen with healthy food, so I'm focusing on that. At this point I am not worried about counting calories - I am just trying to eat good food that actually nourishes me. For now, that's enough.

Mary, I am like you in eating however much the people around me are eating, or however much is on my plate. Unfortunately, my husband is 6'5"! (That was one of my big lessons from when I was first losing weight, realizing - and making him realize - that I don't need "half" of whatever he makes. :noway: ) I like the walk idea, and we do it occasionally, but the weather makes it a harder sell about half the year. Also, he tends to be "done" in the evenings - after work, and making dinner, he generally doesn't feel like leaving the house. Heck, he's usually in his PJs by the time I get home (he has to wears ties and stuff to work all the time). We usually get out on the weekends, though.

A couple of good things today: they did a health screening at work, and my BP/chol/glucose numbers are still quite good. My BMI is on the edge, but I knew that, so overall it was a reassuring plus. And, they just started a weekly yoga class at work on Thursday nights (so, really, what sort of excuse do I have to not just walk upstairs?!). The teacher seemed a little bit shaky, but I'm chalking it up to first day jitters. I know enough yoga that I can still get a semi-decent practice in anyway. Also! I have tomorrow off from work, and so does my husband. Hooray!

Novella week, boogaloo. :flowerforyou:

lotusfromthemud

:yawn: Bright and early morning, pebbs,

I like that " things we carry " , CP. I refer a lot to my "authentic" self, and my anxiety is definitely part of my inauthentic self. Last night on the way home, I got overstimulated (monkey brain does not like eight lane highways with crazy speeding drivers) and got anxious and said "can you turn the heat down, I am hot because I am anxious." to which my husband replied "you have no reason to be anxious." I said "I know there's no reason for it, that's why it's anxiety." if there was a reason for it, I would have called it fear. So, I'm recognizing it as something I carry. I've been working on the whole calm observation thing. (sample: "I am anxious.") my theory is the more I can figure out that I'm carrying, the more I can put down.

Today if the weather warms up a bit, I want to go for a walk. Otherwise, it's a ride on the stationary bike once I've put in three work sessions. Friday is a day off, but I don't want to give my hips a chance to get stuck again. They're actually feeling a bit sore from yoga yesterday, which is a testament to how tight I have been. When stretching/supported laying down poses equals sore, maybe issues.

Yes, Mary, you should come and observe this class and all the other special practices classes! I can show you all of our many, many vegetarian-friendly restaurants and keep you in exotic peanut butters.

Also, as of today, binge free for one week. The eat what I want and then observe my body strategy seems to be working. I'm also being mindful of my portions. When I say "eat what I want" that doesn't mean "eat a pie." although, if I really decided I wanted pie for lunch, I would do that, but then I would notice later how I felt.

Put it down, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

yoginimary

Since we are sharing our food issues lately, here's mine. While I'm not sure I've ever been a binge eater, I have a hard time knowing when I've had enough for the next 4-5 hours. I rarely feel full. I'm talking about the "oh, I feel full" feeling, I have no idea where satisfied is - am I having trouble with linguistics here? When you feel satisfied, do you still feel like you want more, but are no longer actually hungry? Sometimes I feel this after a 1/4 of the meal. The holiday meal full, I feel only once or twice a year. So, that is my challenge.

That's one of the nice things about yoga, CP. Even with a less than stellar teacher, it can still be nice. You might have to cross the lake sometime to meet Vs teacher

So one thing that was nice about the fashion show last night. I would rather have the, shall we say soft tissue?, that I have then look like a model. I kept thinking "bring your shoulderblades into your back!" "stop walking with your hips ahead of your shoulders!". There are some days I know that yoga teaching is for me. :laugh: One rather skinny one seemed to jerk her bones when she walked - if that makes sense.

Today - group practice, yeah! should be lots of fun. Also, walk. I went on a short bike ride yesterday, I mean short, and my quads hurt. Sigh.

Eating behavior, boogaloo.

oh, and V, if I came to TO, I don't think I would be allowed to observe - but I would take her class for sure! I looked on the schedule, and she offers 5 day intensives occasionally. Sounds lovely!

mechanicmom

CP, I wish I had more time to comment on your post. My "carry-ons" are fear and anxiety, which I hope I am overcoming. Recognizing them when they are happening is a big help. Then I need to cast them away. They aren't mine to carry. I hope you and your husband have a great day off!
V, congrats on not binging for a week. Keeping a journal of how you feel after eating is a good idea. That might be something I need to look into doing. Oh and yes, we have concocted ideas on how to "kill" that tree. My neighbor said her boyfriend has a concoction that would kill it. :devil: I have also prayed it would die. or get struck by lightning/strong winds and fall in the street and not on our cars. :laugh:
Mary, did you all ever get any rain down there?

Well, the scale says I'm down 3 pounds, which is great, but I won't log it until it's been that way for a few days. If it's true then I've lost a total of 8 pounds in 6 or so weeks and I'm almost out of the 150's! I have to ask was my metabolism really that slow and my diet that bad? I guess so.
I had a bad headache after lunch yesterday. When I ate dinner, it went away for about ten minutes. I still had 500 calories left for the day so we went to get frozen custard. Bad idea. Even with a pill to help with lactose intolerance I was sick to my tummy last night. When will I learn? But my headache went away after eating the custard. :laugh: Either I wasn't eating enough or I was having a withdrawal headache. Next time I need to stay away from the sweets and see if eating something healthy helps.
I did feel a lot better yesterday (other than the headache) with eating a little protein every couple of hours. Just realized I am repeating myself in my posts. I guess that's what happens when I post too much!
Today's goals: keep logging food, eat every couple of hours, no sweets, school, playdate with a friend, and hopefully working in the yard. I am trying to stay active while giving my knee a break. It seems to be feeling a little better. Maybe by Monday I can start on a consistent work out schedule again. I also need to work on the house. Every time I turn around there's a new mess. I remember a time when Alex didn't get into anything. It was nice, the house was clean, but he wasn't "normal". He's making a mess now. He's normal. :laugh:
Casting my cares boogaloo!
MM

mechanicmom

Happy Saturday!

The scale is still down this morning, even after having more carbs yesterday so I count it as a victory! 150.5! I am loving this thyroid change (now I am!). My thinking is that I may be dropping the pounds now since it's just been changed and I might level out in a little while, but I really don't know. I am cautiously optimistic. I have about 20 more pounds or size 8/10 to go. I think I would be happy being an 8/10. I don't need to be a size 4.
I'm not sure what our plan is for the day. We may go out to a friend's house so Steve can go up in his plane, but it's suppose to be really windy so I don't know. My plans, if we don't do that, are to go to a yard/home improvement store (Lowe's. Alex loves it there.) to price stuff to fix up the front yard, clean the house, and maybe walk on the TM. I spent two hours cleaning up the front yard yesterday (everyone's leaves and trash ends up in our yard on windy days) and it still looks bad. I don't want to spend any more money on it but I don't want it to be the eyesore of the culdesac either. :ohwell: Steve is out trying to get the mower to work. It hasn't worked in two summers. I used the weed eater last year which probably didn't help my wrist. I hope he can get it working. It takes all of five minutes to mow the yard but it takes half an hour using the weed eater. Food goals are: to enjoy my pistachio pineapple muffins this morning (more like cupcakes without frosting) and not feel guilty about the carbs, stick with protein every two hours and keep meal portions small. So far I am liking this, but going out or to other people's houses makes me nervous for two reasons. One, they don't understand what I am doing, and two I don't trust myself to make the right choices yet. Tomorrow is Easter, as you all know, and we will be going to the pastor's house for lunch afterwards. There will be dessert. I have already decided I can have one dessert, unless it's cheesecake. Then I won't have any. I like it, but it does not like me. :sick:
Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!
Learning self-control again boogaloo!
MM

lotusfromthemud

Morning, pebbs.

I got just a very short walk in yesterday. (small victories, right?) But, did get a pretty good work day. Discovered (just in time) that my planned chapter has already been written by somebody else, which was a last minute save by what would have looked like plagiarism. (there really are only so many ideas in the universe) The good news is, this forced me to come up with a new, more creative idea for the chapter. So, now I have to outline it and get to writing. I need something to show my adviser by the 15th and the clock, she's a ticking. I get to listen to a lot more Johnny Cash, and shoutin' preachers from the 40s and 50s, so, score! (hey, it's what I'm in to).

The weather has given me a headache which I'm telling myself is sinus and will not turn into a migraine. So there. It's actually more of a "face ache", if that makes sense. My cheekbones hurt. How is that possible?

MM, I am so glad you are evening out and getting some results! I am using you for encouragement about when I get to see my new doctor. I think May will be an interesting month. We just decided to go to NYC for my birthday (40. . .eep), I get the MRI, go to my new doc and hopefully hear back from the six abstracts I've submitted. Lots of things out there that I'm waiting for answers on.

Also, officially one week binge-free. There were a few things I considered buying at the store and didn't because I thought "nope, you'll eat the whole box." So, I'm adjusting to the idea that certain foods have to be purchased in small packages for right now. Small victories of knowledge.

Ready for an answer or two, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

yoginimary

NYC for your birthday! How lovely. We should do that (mine 40th is in January) as well. I think we are having a party though - as my dad will be 70. Or, since our birthdays are in the winter, maybe the Florida keys instead :happy:

I'm having dessert tomorrow too, MM. We are getting my favorite chocolate cake for Easter - and my brother's 45th birthday, which is also tomorrow. My yoga teacher's birthday is tomorrow too. I washed all the blankets and mats for her as a gift. I hope she notices.

I might have dessert tonight as well. We are going out to dinner with my sister and parents - I noticed they don't print their desserts on line. Hmmm. I hope it's not one of those places that have "death by chocolate" type desserts. No, I don't need an entire cake, just a small slice, thank you. Or maybe I do hope it is, then I won't order dessert. :laugh:

So I was having dinner with cousins last night, one is a marathoner. He said yoga was the hardest thing he's ever done (exercise wise). That made me feel good. His running group is now doing yoga once a week after their easy run , but he's only been twice ("easy run" is an oxymoron if I've ever heard one!).

I had a great yoga session yesterday, lots of tough work. Have a yoga class today, yeah! and a walk this morning?

Birthday, boogaloo!

yoginimary

Happy Easter Y'all!

Ended up at a Gelato place last night. I thought that was better than mystery dessert at the steakhouse, which didn't impress me with their pasta.

I'm going to get a walk in this morning before heading out to my parents house for Easter food and games. Maybe yoga as well?

Easter, boogaloo.

lotusfromthemud

Happy Easter, pebbs!

Today is Zumba, then working (zero draft -- I love this concept-- you just get ideas out, then fill in with more research where you need it, and tighter ideas where you need it-- in order to get to a "first draft"--- of the chapter begins!) then probably some light tidying. I noticed yesterday that you can tell how productive my writing is by looking at the state of the house. If the house is a disaster, the writing's going great!

Got in a long walk in sunshine and nearly 70 degrees yesterday. It felt great to be warm and coat-free. Had a mild vertigo attack, though, so that's not cool. Sinuses, maybe? Face still hurts. Weird. I think I might take an allergy med after the workout and writing is finished as an experiment to see if that's the issue. (they make me sleepy).

Continually interesting boogaloo.:flowerforyou: