Am I the only one?

wonnder1

Agreed, I'm not going to lie--I absolutely NOTICE other people at the gym. Like a budgie, a bright pair of shoes or a really cute shirt will draw my eye. But I was always taught to keep opinions to myself.

I would DIE before I would say something like the fatty at the gym or the noneck by the weights. But there is this one girl I can't help but watch, mostly because I want to look like her one day. She is just a brick of muscle and when she's on the scary machines that I don't even know what the heck they are, I think about how one day I'll know what the hell that contraption is.

The people who say those things, I imagine they don't mean them, they think they're being funny.

Human Nature makes us notice, Upbringing makes us not care.

"First, I’d like to say that I do not defend derogatory statements about people, that is in fact, immature. That being said, referring to someone as fat, is not derogatory, it is simply an adjective like tall, skinny, athletic, white, black etc"

Actually, referring to someone as fat IS derogatory in this society. In which you live.

Derogatory
–adjective
tending to lessen the merit or reputation of a person or thing; disparaging

valentine4

I agree completely they have little to be doing! as for what people are wearing? eh who cares its a gym not a fashion show! I saw a yummy mummy at the gym recently in full make up! that is the one and only time I have ever noticed or commented on someones appearence at the gym. ( she did look funny)

End6ame

I am going to allow myself to get flamed to defend some of these comments. First, I’d like to say that I do not defend derogatory statements about people, that is in fact, immature. That being said, referring to someone as fat, is not derogatory, it is simply an adjective like tall, skinny, athletic, white, black etc… and I think there has been too much sensitivity that has developed around referring to someone as fat.

Additionally, from my experience, many of these individuals that are sitting on the bike going 1mph and are more focused on their, book, phone, video games (yes, I have seen fat people on bikes playing handheld video games) are the same people that will come on here and say “but I am eating right and working out, why am I not losing weight?” and then reject every suggestion other’s give them.

Personally, I think that if people were criticized and judged more rather than spoon fed only what they want to hear, they would be much more motivated and achieve better results.

Let the flaming commence.

Well I guess my whole point was why do you care? and so what their playing a video game, maybe they have a heart condition and cant over do it so their doctor told them light workouts only? The point is you dont know their story or the day they had.

You think people should be judged more? Really? Tell that to the girl sticking her finger down her throat to get her body to what society thinks is thin. I think we'd all be better off minding our own business and letting others go about their journey in the way they want to get there!

I care because these are the people that will then post on here and say things like “yeah, I tried the bike for a while too and it never worked for me” when they didn’t actually put forth an effort; and the plague of misinformation and the idea that everyone’s circumstances are special continues to spread.

I am for pushing people in the right direction, through fitness and healthy living, not just their appearance, as is what drives those with eating disorders. More people should be hearing what they need to hear rather than what they want to hear.

kimmerroze

I've never seen a comment like that here... hmmmm

Same here.

me too... I have however seen people bash peoples "cute" work out clothes! Step off! haha Who cares if I like to match!

BflSaberfan

I am going to allow myself to get flamed to defend some of these comments. First, I’d like to say that I do not defend derogatory statements about people, that is in fact, immature. That being said, referring to someone as fat, is not derogatory, it is simply an adjective like tall, skinny, athletic, white, black etc… and I think there has been too much sensitivity that has developed around referring to someone as fat.

Additionally, from my experience, many of these individuals that are sitting on the bike going 1mph and are more focused on their, book, phone, video games (yes, I have seen fat people on bikes playing handheld video games) are the same people that will come on here and say “but I am eating right and working out, why am I not losing weight?” and then reject every suggestion other’s give them.

Personally, I think that if people were criticized and judged more rather than spoon fed only what they want to hear, they would be much more motivated and achieve better results.

Let the flaming commence.

Well I guess my whole point was why do you care? and so what their playing a video game, maybe they have a heart condition and cant over do it so their doctor told them light workouts only? The point is you dont know their story or the day they had.

You think people should be judged more? Really? Tell that to the girl sticking her finger down her throat to get her body to what society thinks is thin. I think we'd all be better off minding our own business and letting others go about their journey in the way they want to get there!

I care because these are the people that will then post on here and say things like “yeah, I tried the bike for a while too and it never worked for me” when they didn’t actually put forth an effort; and the plague of misinformation and the idea that everyone’s circumstances are special continues to spread.

I am for pushing people in the right direction, through fitness and healthy living, not just their appearance, as is what drives those with eating disorders.

The point is you cant PUSH anyone to do anything. If they dotn want to put forth the effort on the bike that day, they just aren't going to and maybe there is a good reason they didn't. I find it hard to believe you followed someone to the gym, watched them go slowly on the bike, then come here and say it didn't work. Judging someone and being mean does not motivate.

I just think everyone should give advice when asked for it, other than that mind your own business.

concordancia

I once had a friend who was about a size five, and pretty athletic and she just couldn't go to the beach one summer because she didn't look good enough. I asked if she spent her time looking at other people and thinking that they shouldn't be there/ wear that. She said yes.

I think the people who are the most self conscious are the same ones that are criticizing everyone else. It becomes a vicious cycle for them.

kimmerroze

I am going to allow myself to get flamed to defend some of these comments. First, I’d like to say that I do not defend derogatory statements about people, that is in fact, immature. That being said, referring to someone as fat, is not derogatory, it is simply an adjective like tall, skinny, athletic, white, black etc… and I think there has been too much sensitivity that has developed around referring to someone as fat.

Additionally, from my experience, many of these individuals that are sitting on the bike going 1mph and are more focused on their, book, phone, video games (yes, I have seen fat people on bikes playing handheld video games) are the same people that will come on here and say “but I am eating right and working out, why am I not losing weight?” and then reject every suggestion other’s give them.

Personally, I think that if people were criticized and judged more rather than spoon fed only what they want to hear, they would be much more motivated and achieve better results.

Let the flaming commence.

Well I guess my whole point was why do you care? and so what their playing a video game, maybe they have a heart condition and cant over do it so their doctor told them light workouts only? The point is you dont know their story or the day they had.

You think people should be judged more? Really? Tell that to the girl sticking her finger down her throat to get her body to what society thinks is thin. I think we'd all be better off minding our own business and letting others go about their journey in the way they want to get there!

I care because these are the people that will then post on here and say things like “yeah, I tried the bike for a while too and it never worked for me” when they didn’t actually put forth an effort; and the plague of misinformation and the idea that everyone’s circumstances are special continues to spread.

I am for pushing people in the right direction, through fitness and healthy living, not just their appearance, as is what drives those with eating disorders.

I have to agree with this.... the only reason I would care about things like this on this website, is because I also believe that peopel are searching for what they want to hear... they don't understand that you cant do something half way and expect all the way results... going 1 mph on a bike, will get you to your goal, but don't expect to be losing weight at 2 pounds per week like other people.... But, with that being said, when someone posts on this website that they are working out and eating right, who am I to judge/guess/decipher what "working out" is to them... if it is pedaling at 1mph... then they aren't working out... if they are pedaling at 10mph then they are working out.... just because your body is moving doesn't mean that it is doing you any good..In order to see change you must always push yourself... and I think that is what frustrates people when others ask for help.... if you aren't doing your very very best, then of course you are not going to see results. so asking for our help is moot to the point.

bnew2010

I've read some of the post on hear and I agree but on the same time disagree. I don't think anyone should be judged at the gym... at least they are going and making an effort, even if that means just getting off the couch and not eating a bowl of ice cream. But I don't think I should get judged by reading a book on the eliptical b/c I'm too bored to do so without it. But either was I'm on it for an hour. I don't want someone who just walks past me and thinks I'm slacking with a book b/c I'm not drenched in sweat (I don't really sweat that much, even when I played softball everyday) b/c they don't see me when I'm still on that damn elliptical an hour later.

wonnder1

I also have to say to people who are afraid of joining the gym, it really does depend on the gym. I found the Goodlife here was ridiculous. A bar scene without the benefits of a bar.

I did a two week trial at the Y and was hooked. A good mix of super fit, young, old, overweight, fashionable, not so fashionable. Where you can talk to the person beside you and if you're doing something wrong, someone will usually stop and help.

So if you have the option, try a couple gym's. Most will give you a trial if you ask for it and tell them why.

Bavaria100

Is it not up to the gym instructor to support people? I think they should speak to people and advice them on the best use of the equipment.
I don't see any point posting such comments on this website as it will only scare people off or make them uncomfortable.

End6ame

I am going to allow myself to get flamed to defend some of these comments. First, I’d like to say that I do not defend derogatory statements about people, that is in fact, immature. That being said, referring to someone as fat, is not derogatory, it is simply an adjective like tall, skinny, athletic, white, black etc… and I think there has been too much sensitivity that has developed around referring to someone as fat.

Additionally, from my experience, many of these individuals that are sitting on the bike going 1mph and are more focused on their, book, phone, video games (yes, I have seen fat people on bikes playing handheld video games) are the same people that will come on here and say “but I am eating right and working out, why am I not losing weight?” and then reject every suggestion other’s give them.

Personally, I think that if people were criticized and judged more rather than spoon fed only what they want to hear, they would be much more motivated and achieve better results.

Let the flaming commence.

Well I guess my whole point was why do you care? and so what their playing a video game, maybe they have a heart condition and cant over do it so their doctor told them light workouts only? The point is you dont know their story or the day they had.

You think people should be judged more? Really? Tell that to the girl sticking her finger down her throat to get her body to what society thinks is thin. I think we'd all be better off minding our own business and letting others go about their journey in the way they want to get there!

I care because these are the people that will then post on here and say things like “yeah, I tried the bike for a while too and it never worked for me” when they didn’t actually put forth an effort; and the plague of misinformation and the idea that everyone’s circumstances are special continues to spread.

I am for pushing people in the right direction, through fitness and healthy living, not just their appearance, as is what drives those with eating disorders.

The point is you cant PUSH anyone to do anything. If they dotn want to put forth the effort on the bike that day, they just aren't going to and maybe there is a good reason they didn't. I find it hard to believe you followed someone to the gym, watched them go slowly on the bike, then come here and say it didn't work. Judging someone and being mean does not motivate.

I just think everyone should give advice when asked for it, other than that mind your own business.

No you can’t push, but you can try. I have confronted multiple people in the gym when I see them doing an exercise with improper form and helped them correct it. This in turn allows them to move heavier weights, increase intensity and achieve better results, whereas before I interviewed they were struggling to make progress, and potentially could have quite out of frustration. All of them have been very appreciative. And this action is supportive, and constructive, but it was not what the person wanted to hear.

Name calling with no constructive purpose is wrong. However a friend of mine asked me if I thought she was fat once (she was obese) and I said yes. She is now in the process of correcting this. Again, she did not want to hear that she was fat, but she needed to.

And it doesn’t matter what kind of day you are having. If you only push yourself when you feel like it then, quite frankly, your results are going to suck. The majority of the time I don’t feel like being at the gym, but I go and work just as hard as any other day, because I know that I can either have my result or I can have excuses, I can’t have both. And that is the mentality that needs to be show to people, not this coddling of “it’s ok just go to the gym tomorrow and everything is sunshine and lollipops.”

I know this all sounds harsh, but I am honestly not an *kitten*. It’s is just when I see someone with a goal that only commits half-heartedly, I get irritated.

wonnder1

Is it not up to the gym instructor to support people? I think they should speak to people and advice them on the best use of the equipment.
I don't see any point posting such comments on this website as it will only scare people off or make them uncomfortable.

I believe the point is to instruct others on what is proper behaviour for a civilized society. Sadly, there are too many who need that.

pixietoes

Of course these comments can be hurtful, even damaging. It is up to the individual, starting in the playground at a very young age to learn that such comments are a part of life. Some people can't deal with themselves unless they are putting others down. If it weren't your weight or the way you work out it might be your hair, or your car, or your job, or your marriage, or your lack thereof.

It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fool using the words to make him or herself feel better. Pity the fool and move on.

I am 46. It has taken me about 45 years to figure this much out. I still get my feelings hurt at times, but when it happens, I share it with someone rather than keeping it in. It is amazing the difference it has made in my life.

This website, like so many others has many different kinds of people, some who are ardently working on reaching their weight loss goals, some who are wanting to help them do it, some who have achieved their goals, and some who like to feel better about themselves by looking down on anyone they can. It is thus on every weight loss site I know about. This has been a hugely supportive community for the most part. I commend the original poster for writing about what she feels, and encourage her (and others who feel the same way) to keep focused on her goals and not get distracted by fools.

Shirley61

That's why I don't go to the gym. I do my exercising outside or at home.
We just bought a Wii Fit Plus and it is perfect for anything you want to do. :happy:

natskedat

You know, as a personal trainer, I'm happy to see people move. If I see a person whose overweight riding the exercise bike at 1 mph and reading a book, I'm just happy they're moving! I love seeing all body types at the gym. Get moving! The first step towards great health is taking a step (literally!).

Also, that person who is overweight (fat, obese, morbidly obese, whatever you call it?) has probably been judged his or her whole life. They don't need it. I always consider this. What if simply putting on their gym clothes and getting to the gym is the bravest thing they've done in 3 years? What if this is their first visit? What if they've just made a commitment to living a long life, and they don't have all the answers their first time out? The side glances, the looks, the judgement? Well, all it does is reaffirm that they don't know what they're doing and maybe they won't come back.

Mary Kay Ash had the right idea: The thing that people want more than sex or money is recognition and praise.

Everybody who tries deserves a high-five!

*hugs to all*

wonnder1

I have confronted multiple people in the gym when I see them doing an exercise with improper form and helped them correct it...And this action is supportive, and constructive, but it was not what the person wanted to hear.

Why do you assume they "didn't want to hear it?" When you stop and HELP someone (please say confront was the wrong word) that is constructive. When you go home and say "I had to show another fatso how to use the damn machine" that is judgmental.

The fact that you do try to help, leads me to believe that you're not being a jerk. The fact that you (seem to) think that we all need that help kinda makes me think you are.

Everybody has a valid opinion, you included, but I think you're being a little harsh and confrontational with yours.

lotusfromthemud

Also, that person who is overweight (fat, obese, morbidly obese, whatever you call it?) has probably been judged his or her whole life. They don't need it. I always consider this. What if simply putting on their gym clothes and getting to the gym is the bravest thing they've done in 3 years? What if this is their first visit? What if they've just made a commitment to living a long life, and they don't have all the answers their first time out? The side glances, the looks, the judgement? Well, all it does is reaffirm that they don't know what they're doing and maybe they won't come back.


Everybody who tries deserves a high-five!

*hugs to all*

THIS!

I have a medical condition that comes and goes. In the past ten years, I have vacillated between being the fittest person (besides the instructor) in any given class and barely being able to walk 2 miles an hour on a treadmill. I'm currently existing at the low end of the spectrum, have gained weight, lost endurance, strength and mobility and I am seriously depressed because of it. When I do go to the gym, I am constantly beating myself up the entire time I am there. It is terrifically difficult for me to accept that walking on a treadmill, or biking slowly is "good enough". I certainly do not need this coming from anyone else as well. I am most definitely worried that someone else is looking at me and thinking I am "lazy" or "fat". I am struggling to not think this about myself, and I can guarantee you that anyone who is trying to start moving or learning how to move or suffering with pain or limitations in their body is thinking about these issues enough on their own.

Moving some is better than not moving at all.

I would ask anyone who is thinking that they are entitled to be concerned with anyone else's progress or what they are doing to think twice before, um, "helping". It is impossible for you to know anyone else's journey or body.

biattah

I work part time at a gym as a Spinning and group ex instructor and I really haven't heard people making comments about other members. In fact, I have even had members tell me that they love my classes because I have shown them that you don't have to be skinny to be fit. I'm a real girl and I do need to get my eating under control to lose some weight. But, I think the entire community of the gym benefits when there are people of all different sizes there.

BflSaberfan

Also, that person who is overweight (fat, obese, morbidly obese, whatever you call it?) has probably been judged his or her whole life. They don't need it. I always consider this. What if simply putting on their gym clothes and getting to the gym is the bravest thing they've done in 3 years? What if this is their first visit? What if they've just made a commitment to living a long life, and they don't have all the answers their first time out? The side glances, the looks, the judgement? Well, all it does is reaffirm that they don't know what they're doing and maybe they won't come back.


Everybody who tries deserves a high-five!

*hugs to all*

THIS!

I have a medical condition that comes and goes. In the past ten years, I have vacillated between being the fittest person (besides the instructor) in any given class and barely being able to walk 2 miles an hour on a treadmill. I'm currently existing at the low end of the spectrum, have gained weight, lost endurance, strength and mobility and I am seriously depressed because of it. When I do go to the gym, I am constantly beating myself up the entire time I am there. It is terrifically difficult for me to accept that walking on a treadmill, or biking slowly is "good enough". I certainly do not need this coming from anyone else as well. I am most definitely worried that someone else is looking at me and thinking I am "lazy" or "fat". I am struggling to not think this about myself, and I can guarantee you that anyone who is trying to start moving or learning how to move or suffering with pain or limitations in their body is thinking about these issues enough on their own.

Moving some is better than not moving at all.

I would ask anyone who is thinking that they are entitled to be concerned with anyone else's progress or what they are doing to think twice before, um, "helping". It is impossible for you to know anyone else's journey or body.

Thank you!! This is what I was trying to get at. Everyone has their own story, maybe its a medical condition, maybe its a bad day. No one needs the comments or looks on top of their own battle.

Improvised

"fatty reading on the bike instead of pedaling"

Yikes, someone was talking about me? Lol. For the record, I WAS pedaling, just not very fast. Pregnant, ya know. :P

concordancia

Also, that person who is overweight (fat, obese, morbidly obese, whatever you call it?) has probably been judged his or her whole life. They don't need it. I always consider this. What if simply putting on their gym clothes and getting to the gym is the bravest thing they've done in 3 years? What if this is their first visit? What if they've just made a commitment to living a long life, and they don't have all the answers their first time out? The side glances, the looks, the judgement? Well, all it does is reaffirm that they don't know what they're doing and maybe they won't come back.


Everybody who tries deserves a high-five!

*hugs to all*

THIS!

I have a medical condition that comes and goes. In the past ten years, I have vacillated between being the fittest person (besides the instructor) in any given class and barely being able to walk 2 miles an hour on a treadmill. I'm currently existing at the low end of the spectrum, have gained weight, lost endurance, strength and mobility and I am seriously depressed because of it. When I do go to the gym, I am constantly beating myself up the entire time I am there. It is terrifically difficult for me to accept that walking on a treadmill, or biking slowly is "good enough". I certainly do not need this coming from anyone else as well. I am most definitely worried that someone else is looking at me and thinking I am "lazy" or "fat". I am struggling to not think this about myself, and I can guarantee you that anyone who is trying to start moving or learning how to move or suffering with pain or limitations in their body is thinking about these issues enough on their own.

Moving some is better than not moving at all.

I would ask anyone who is thinking that they are entitled to be concerned with anyone else's progress or what they are doing to think twice before, um, "helping". It is impossible for you to know anyone else's journey or body.

Your story reminds me of going to the gym when I had back problems. First, the physical therapist was located in the campus gym, so I had to hobble through the entire gym to get there. Also, my main form of exercise was water aerobics, so back again in the evening (if I could make it across campus), struggle to get a suit on. The pain slowed me down so much, that I had time to see how people were looking at me. Luckily, no one ever said anything, but it may have been because I already looked like I was going to cry!

I did once catch a taxi near the gym and after he asked if that was where I was coming form, he went on for the rest of the ride about how silly it is for overweight people to work out - they should lose the weight first. Actually, I see a lot of this in relation to strength training on these boards ("I am going to lose 10 lbs, then start using weights").

End6ame

I have confronted multiple people in the gym when I see them doing an exercise with improper form and helped them correct it...And this action is supportive, and constructive, but it was not what the person wanted to hear.

Why do you assume they "didn't want to hear it?" When you stop and HELP someone (please say confront was the wrong word) that is constructive. When you go home and say "I had to show another fatso how to use the damn machine" that is judgmental.

The fact that you do try to help, leads me to believe that you're not being a jerk. The fact that you (seem to) think that we all need that help kinda makes me think you are.

Everybody has a valid opinion, you included, but I think you're being a little harsh and confrontational with yours.

Because no one wants to be told they are doing something wrong. There is one case a specifically remember where I helped a girl with barbell squat in my gym. The moment I approached her, introduced myself and starting talking about the exercise she was clearly embarrassed, she didn’t want that. But after I spent five minutes working with her, she was quite grateful. And whether it was helpful or not, it was still judgmental. I saw her squatting and said to myself “holy crap her technique is atrocious”, but in the end it was positive and constructive.

concordancia

I have confronted multiple people in the gym when I see them doing an exercise with improper form and helped them correct it...And this action is supportive, and constructive, but it was not what the person wanted to hear.

Why do you assume they "didn't want to hear it?" When you stop and HELP someone (please say confront was the wrong word) that is constructive. When you go home and say "I had to show another fatso how to use the damn machine" that is judgmental.

The fact that you do try to help, leads me to believe that you're not being a jerk. The fact that you (seem to) think that we all need that help kinda makes me think you are.

Everybody has a valid opinion, you included, but I think you're being a little harsh and confrontational with yours.

Because no one wants to be told they are doing something wrong. There is one case a specifically remember where I helped a girl with barbell squat in my gym. The moment I approached her, introduced myself and starting talking about the exercise she was clearly embarrassed, she didn’t want that. But after I spent five minutes working with her, she was quite grateful. And whether it was helpful or not, it was still judgmental. I saw her squatting and said to myself “holy crap her technique is atrocious”, but in the end it was positive and constructive.

You story does not show that she didn't want to hear it - it shows that she didn't want to be accosted by a stranger in a gym.

Improvised

To be perfectly honest, I would freak out if a stranger guy approached me in the gym. I may even quit going. Not trying to be a total whimp, but that's how I feel.

End6ame

I have confronted multiple people in the gym when I see them doing an exercise with improper form and helped them correct it...And this action is supportive, and constructive, but it was not what the person wanted to hear.

Why do you assume they "didn't want to hear it?" When you stop and HELP someone (please say confront was the wrong word) that is constructive. When you go home and say "I had to show another fatso how to use the damn machine" that is judgmental.

The fact that you do try to help, leads me to believe that you're not being a jerk. The fact that you (seem to) think that we all need that help kinda makes me think you are.

Everybody has a valid opinion, you included, but I think you're being a little harsh and confrontational with yours.

Because no one wants to be told they are doing something wrong. There is one case a specifically remember where I helped a girl with barbell squat in my gym. The moment I approached her, introduced myself and starting talking about the exercise she was clearly embarrassed, she didn’t want that. But after I spent five minutes working with her, she was quite grateful. And whether it was helpful or not, it was still judgmental. I saw her squatting and said to myself “holy crap her technique is atrocious”, but in the end it was positive and constructive.

You story does not show that she didn't want to hear it - it shows that she didn't want to be accosted by a stranger in a gym.

Except she didn’t show embarrassment until I started talking about her technique, but ok. I’ll keep criticizing, judging, and helping people in the gym and you can keep ignoring people.

Wait a minute… I think everyone is judging me now!!!

ItsCasey

I am going to allow myself to get flamed to defend some of these comments. First, I’d like to say that I do not defend derogatory statements about people, that is in fact, immature. That being said, referring to someone as fat, is not derogatory, it is simply an adjective like tall, skinny, athletic, white, black etc… and I think there has been too much sensitivity that has developed around referring to someone as fat.

Additionally, from my experience, many of these individuals that are sitting on the bike going 1mph and are more focused on their, book, phone, video games (yes, I have seen fat people on bikes playing handheld video games) are the same people that will come on here and say “but I am eating right and working out, why am I not losing weight?” and then reject every suggestion other’s give them.

Personally, I think that if people were criticized and judged more rather than spoon fed only what they want to hear, they would be much more motivated and achieve better results.

Let the flaming commence.

I actually totally agree with you. I would never, EVER offer my unsolicited opinion to anyone regarding what they do at the gym because, unless they ask me or unless I'm waiting on the machine they're pretending to use, it is none of my business. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to form my own opinions about what they do. It's not a matter of making fun of them or making myself feel better. It's a matter of constantly reminding myself (and anyone who HAS asked for my advice) that we are own worst enemy when it comes to losing weight. Nobody can or will do it for us. We have to put in the effort ourselves.

I don't really care whether or not someone pedals at 1 mph or walks at a really slow pace on the treadmill. If you're really out of shape and that's the best you can do, then good for you that you dragged yourself to the gym and put in that effort. But I really don't want to hear that anyone sitting on a bike playing video games on their cell phone is trying their best because that just isn't true.

And I definitely agree that people need to learn how to deal with criticism. In our society, we're so afraid of offending people that we're flat-out dishonest with them. That doesn't make anyone stronger; it makes them weaker. If someone asks my opinion about their diet or their exercise plan, they're going to get a brutally honest response. Lying to them and calling it "encouragement" or "support" isn't helpful at all. I'm not going to be anyone's enabler in the interest of not offending them.

BflSaberfan

I am going to allow myself to get flamed to defend some of these comments. First, I’d like to say that I do not defend derogatory statements about people, that is in fact, immature. That being said, referring to someone as fat, is not derogatory, it is simply an adjective like tall, skinny, athletic, white, black etc… and I think there has been too much sensitivity that has developed around referring to someone as fat.

Additionally, from my experience, many of these individuals that are sitting on the bike going 1mph and are more focused on their, book, phone, video games (yes, I have seen fat people on bikes playing handheld video games) are the same people that will come on here and say “but I am eating right and working out, why am I not losing weight?” and then reject every suggestion other’s give them.

Personally, I think that if people were criticized and judged more rather than spoon fed only what they want to hear, they would be much more motivated and achieve better results.

Let the flaming commence.

I actually totally agree with you. I would never, EVER offer my unsolicited opinion to anyone regarding what they do at the gym because, unless they ask me or unless I'm waiting on the machine they're pretending to use, it is none of my business. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to form my own opinions about what they do. It's not a matter of making fun of them or making myself feel better. It's a matter of constantly reminding myself (and anyone who HAS asked for my advice) that we are own worst enemy when it comes to losing weight. Nobody can or will do it for us. We have to put in the effort ourselves.

I don't really care whether or not someone pedals at 1 mph or walks at a really slow pace on the treadmill. If you're really out of shape and that's the best you can do, then good for you that you dragged yourself to the gym and put in that effort. But I really don't want to hear that anyone sitting on a bike playing video games on their cell phone is trying their best because that just isn't true.

And I definitely agree that people need to learn how to deal with criticism. In our society, we're so afraid of offending people that we're flat-out dishonest with them. That doesn't make anyone stronger; it makes them weaker. If someone asks my opinion about their diet or their exercise plan, they're going to get a brutally honest response. Lying to them and calling it "encouragement" or "support" isn't helpful at all. I'm not going to be anyone's enabler in the interest of not offending them.

Well the big difference here is that someone asked for advice. In that case yes I'd tell them. But I'm not going to look at the person reading on the treadmill and make a mental note of how lazy they are during the 5 seconds I paid attention to them...and if I paid attention to them longer than 5 seconds I'm obviously giving it my all either.

End6ame

I am going to allow myself to get flamed to defend some of these comments. First, I’d like to say that I do not defend derogatory statements about people, that is in fact, immature. That being said, referring to someone as fat, is not derogatory, it is simply an adjective like tall, skinny, athletic, white, black etc… and I think there has been too much sensitivity that has developed around referring to someone as fat.

Additionally, from my experience, many of these individuals that are sitting on the bike going 1mph and are more focused on their, book, phone, video games (yes, I have seen fat people on bikes playing handheld video games) are the same people that will come on here and say “but I am eating right and working out, why am I not losing weight?” and then reject every suggestion other’s give them.

Personally, I think that if people were criticized and judged more rather than spoon fed only what they want to hear, they would be much more motivated and achieve better results.

Let the flaming commence.

I actually totally agree with you. I would never, EVER offer my unsolicited opinion to anyone regarding what they do at the gym because, unless they ask me or unless I'm waiting on the machine they're pretending to use, it is none of my business. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to form my own opinions about what they do. It's not a matter of making fun of them or making myself feel better. It's a matter of constantly reminding myself (and anyone who HAS asked for my advice) that we are own worst enemy when it comes to losing weight. Nobody can or will do it for us. We have to put in the effort ourselves.

I don't really care whether or not someone pedals at 1 mph or walks at a really slow pace on the treadmill. If you're really out of shape and that's the best you can do, then good for you that you dragged yourself to the gym and put in that effort. But I really don't want to hear that anyone sitting on a bike playing video games on their cell phone is trying their best because that just isn't true.

And I definitely agree that people need to learn how to deal with criticism. In our society, we're so afraid of offending people that we're flat-out dishonest with them. That doesn't make anyone stronger; it makes them weaker. If someone asks my opinion about their diet or their exercise plan, they're going to get a brutally honest response. Lying to them and calling it "encouragement" or "support" isn't helpful at all. I'm not going to be anyone's enabler in the interest of not offending them.

Typically I only approach people when they are in danger of hurting themselves. The girls squat form that I corrected was taught to her by the resident personal trainer, who apparently didn’t care about her knee or back health. The thing about engaging with other people at the gym is you learn more about them and their goals. I have since recommend a different program to this same girl, and she is doing awesome! All because of a little “criticism” on my part.

wonnder1

And I definitely agree that people need to learn how to deal with criticism. In our society, we're so afraid of offending people that we're flat-out dishonest with them. That doesn't make anyone stronger; it makes them weaker. If someone asks my opinion about their diet or their exercise plan, they're going to get a brutally honest response. Lying to them and calling it "encouragement" or "support" isn't helpful at all. I'm not going to be anyone's enabler in the interest of not offending them.

See now THAT'S very well stated. But if nobody is asking your opinion, then it's not up to you to offer it. That's plain annoying and egotistical.

Dawntodusk

I'd be very happy if someone helped me with my form! I'd rather that than them looking at me and quietly judging me. Why not help if they can?

I used to swim - a lot. One day a guy came up to me and said, "You work so hard at swimming. It's really great. But, if you improve your form a bit, you will be able to swim much more efficiently." And he proceeded to tell me what to do. I was really appreciative. I hadn't swum in years, so had forgotten basic form.

I often look at guys in the gym - to see what they're doing with the weights. (Ok, I admit, I look at the buff ones more. :-}) That's the main way that I have learned. I have had trainers from time to time, but I guess I haven't found the right one, so I mostly have learned by watching, but certainly not judging!

The gym is often lonely. I think it's great if people talk and help each other out.