Super dooper bored.
Options
Replies
-
try juggling eggs :-)0
-
dooper is a pretty sweet word.0
-
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Sorry if this offends anyone..............it's just a joke!!
0 -
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Sorry if this offends anyone..............it's just a joke!! 0 -
So there was a lawyer, a rabbi and a blonde.......0
-
Here's a quick Limerick for ya:
There was a big guy from Texas
Who liked having fun with the sexes
He created his threads
But they all wound up dead
Moderators were protective of their Nexus0 -
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Sorry if this offends anyone..............it's just a joke!!
Thats pretty funny actually0 -
Here's a quick Limerick for ya:
There was a big guy from Texas
Who liked having fun with the sexes
He created his threads
But they all wound up dead
Moderators were protective of their Nexus
Boy oh boy, ZH, did you create that for me, so nice of you:laugh: :laugh:0 -
Thank you, Thank you! I'm here all week :bigsmile:
:bigsmile: 0 -
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"0 -
^^^^^ see, thats what I am talking about, literally LOL'ed:laugh:0
-
Man shipwreck on a island with a sheep and a dog. After a while the sheeps looking pretty good. But the dog won't let the guy near the sheep. Months go by every attempt is thwarted by that darn dog.
Walking along the beach the guy finds a beautiful girl washed up on the beach apparently from another shipwreck. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
He takes her back to his camp excited by her presence, nurses her back to health. A few days later when she is strong enought she hugs him and kisses him thanking him for saving her. She offers to do ANYTHING for him.
The man thought for only a split second and with a grin on his face he said "Yes there is something. Can you hold that damn dog for a minute?".0 -
one of my favs!! 0
-
Man shipwreck on a island with a sheep and a dog. After a while the sheeps looking pretty good. But the dog won't let the guy near the sheep. Months go by every attempt is thwarted by that darn dog.
Walking along the beach the guy finds a beautiful girl washed up on the beach apparently from another shipwreck. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
He takes her back to his camp excited by her presence, nurses her back to health. A few days later when she is strong enought she hugs him and kisses him thanking him for saving her. She offers to do ANYTHING for him.
The man thought for only a split second and with a grin on his face he said "Yes there is something. Can you hold that damn dog for a minute?".0 -
hahahahahahahaahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahaha0
-
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."0 -
Y'all are TOO FUNNY! LOL0
-
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breath through something so small?"
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a pen1s have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your c0ck?
A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Q. Why is it called a Wonder Bra?
A. When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.
Q. How do you make five pounds of fat look good?
A. Give it a n1pple.
Q. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
A. When his hand caught on fire.
Q. What is the difference between "Oooh!" and "Aaah!"?
A. About three inches.
Q. When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?
A. When he eats his first Brownie
Hope this helps!0 -
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breath through something so small?"
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a pen1s have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your c0ck?
A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Q. Why is it called a Wonder Bra?
A. When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.
Q. How do you make five pounds of fat look good?
A. Give it a n1pple.
Q. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
A. When his hand caught on fire.
Q. What is the difference between "Oooh!" and "Aaah!"?
A. About three inches.
Q. When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?
A. When he eats his first Brownie
Hope this helps!
hahhaahahahahahahahahahaahahahah:laugh:
love 'em all!!!!!!!!0 -
Ok, I finally thought of something! Why don't we have a competition.....who can log on the most sex-related exercise calorie expenditure for the week?
Unless it's hidden I don't even see the categories on the exercise database....closest thing I could find was "Body Gymnastics" but nothing under "Sex", "Sexual Activity", "*kitten*", "Making Love" or even "Twister".
Even LoseIt.com has sex under exercise log....c'mon Beaver with your naughty following, let's put sex on the exercise database!!0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392.1K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.9K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.4K Fitness and Exercise
- 403 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 983 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions