Ladies...men and their comments about your weight!!

purplehaze12

Ok, this is not a rant on men in general...men, I love you! Promise

Oh and also to cover my *kitten*, I know women comment on men's weight all the time, so this scenario could easily be reversed.

ANYWAY. I was dating this guy about a year and a half ago. I was 20, he was closer to 30. He was kind of a bum, but that's a story for another day. At that time I was at my lowest weight, around 155 lbs. He was 130 lbs soaking wet. Naturally, I knew we looked a little "incongruent", but I also knew not all men liked size 0's. At that point though I felt satisfied with myself. I had worked my *kitten* off to get to that weight and he had never known me at my prior 200 lb weight. One day, when we'd been dating about 2 months, he got drunk and told me I was an exception to all the girls he dated. I was expecting some sweet talk about me being honest, affectionate, not like all the others, blah blah blah. But no, he next says that he never dates "bigger girls" like me. I think he might have thought it was a compliment that he was stooping down to do a fat a girl a favor by dating her (god bless who ever is dating him now!). Anyway, the waterworks started because I had worked hard to get to that weight. And he felt bad. I almost dumped him then. Then a couple of weeks later he started saying he thought we should go to the gym together so he could build some muscle and so I could get in shape. Yep. We broke up shortly after lol.

Anyway, in that time of 18 months or so I have gained about 40 lbs...almost all of the weight back. I'd been losing until we broke up, and then it just went bezerk and I stopped caring. When I would run into him before I came to Europe I would always feel so humiliated. I imagined he was thinking "thank god I broke up with her!". So now my motivation is to get in super good shape and then "by chance" run into him. Let him see what he missed lol. This image is getting me motivated haha.

JDMPWR

To see the exact opposite.

November 2009. I was dating a girl on and off for a while. I was at 248 but dropped about 15lbs while with her because all I would do after work was split a bottle of vodka with my roommate/business partner. I was in pretty bad shape and she dated me when I was at 270 and her being at 120-130max. When we broke up. I gave up drinking for a year THEN i said well if I want to be the best I can be and to prove it to myself and if at random I see her too

I started my journey of weight loss for me and to make me happy. Never let anyone control your happiness and think of it this way. If I lost it once I can surely do it again!!!!

shumatet1982

I am with you! Revenge is sweet! Just imagine the looks on the face ...

shreyaj

First off I just want to say we've all been there or most of us anyways. The most important thing to remember is that your doing this for YOURSELF because once the guy's out of sight out of mind there will be no reason to exact your revenge and you might fail again. For a long time I was failing because I wanted to prove other's wrong, you should be doing this to prove YOURSELF wrong that you CAN do it again. That guy was a jerk for saying those things to you but I'm sure you already know that. Us women are really sensitive about our weight, so when a guy says "let's work out together" sometimes we immediatly get on the defense like "are you trying to say I'm fat??" but we should take it sometimes as a positive approach that maybe it wasn't the fact he wasn't attracted to you or that he didn't like your weight maybe he just wanted to see you at your happiest & healthiest, I don't know the guy so I could be TOTALLY off... LOL. I've been with my fiance for 8 years when we started dating I had a great body size 3 belly button peircing and all and now I'm at miserable size 12--- YUCK which is tough for me because I'm only 5'0! I want to get in shape for both of us but our bodies will change throughout life and it's most important that you love yourself and do all these for YOURSELF first and foremost, but darling I really hope you get that day when you can drop that weight and "run" into this man and get your sweet revenge!!!

poustotah

Great motivation!!! When I was married to my second husband, I gained a lot of weight and he was drastically overweight. Well, since we divorced, I've lost a LOT of weight. Since we live 2 hours apart, I never thought I'd run into him again. At any rate, I was called into a business meeting and low and behold my big, fat, overweight ex-husband was sitting there in the meeting. I thought someone was going to have to call in a crane and a 2-ton jack to lift his jaw up off the floor.

Devine retribution right there baby!!!

jazgal

Maybe he had other issues .. I know a few gals that were at one time very heavy and now have lost 60 to 100 lbs and they will never date really heavy guys that eat a lot of junk ... only becase they need to be around healthy eaters ... because they will gain their weight back ... think I might end thinking that way when I start to date again ... I know me .. if I am around someone with really bad eating habits I will start eating poorly and I gain weight really easy ...

ka_42

I totally know how you feel /felt ....

Aaron, my boyfriend, and I had a discussion over a year ago that was life changing for me. I told him that I wanted him to be happy in our relationship and asked if there was anything he felt was missing. When he told me that he wished I were thinner I was shocked. I saw a pic of an ex who was much bigger then I ever was and he said that was one of the many problems in that relationship and he dated her for like 4 years. He said hurtful things that could go without saying and that I've just decided to forgive him for. I've honestly forgot about a lot of the hurtful things. He doesn't have a lot of experience in relationships he just says things without thinking about them first. He admits he didn't know the right way of going about discussing such a sensitive subject. People who have always been thin don't know how hurtful weight problems can be to discuss. He explained that he wanted to be with someone who was more active and cared about being healthy. I was a smoker at the time- or a recent quitter I can't remember but I was not healthy at all. I had stated at the time that I wasn't interested in dieting or taking better care of my body- before I saw a future with this man I didn't really care about my future. I would look at myself in the mirror trying on clothes and beat myself up for the way I looked. He said he didn't understand why I could be so dissatisfied but not want to do anything about it. It really came down to my not feeling like I could. I had always been overweight. I'm smaller now then I was in jr. high. I really feel like his comments helped in a way. Helped to push me into at least trying to lose weight. Since then I've realized that I want to be healthy, I wanted to lose weight and I wanted to do it for my future and my future family. At first I was heartbroken. I wanted him to love me just the way I was. I didn't feel like what he said was inappropriate or wrong -just honest. However, when I went to friends for advise- they did. I try to not even discuss my boyfriend at all with one of my friends because she thinks I shouldn't be with him and that he's a big jerk and thought I should move on. Ultimately it's my decision though and we've been together now for 2.5 years. I've lost 65 lbs since we've been together. We have some issues. I've lost a lot of confidence during this journey. I have the underlying feeling that he does want me to be a lot smaller... to have that ideal body. I really have no idea - he knows I have this confidence issue so when I ask him about the way I look he says I look amazing. He says I was cute before and now I'm super cute I'll probably leave him soon. I think someday I'll get pregnant and gain weight and he'll think I'm and ugly fat *kitten*. To feel better about it I just keep reminding myself that it's not like he's muscular and ripped. He's borderline scrawny. He's not perfect looking and I can't be either. There are issues to sticking with the rude guy who comments about your weight. I think it was worth the journey though. I'm on my way to liking the way I look.... for the first time in my life.