Non Weight Related Vent

♥jewel♥

So....I'm a little pissed (angry) and a little hurt right now. My parents live in Ontario and I live in BC. I don't talk very often, about once a month or so. I phone today to see what they are planning to do for Easter and my mom tells me that her nurse is just leaving. I'm like WTF?! Who has a nurse and way, both of you are healthy. She proceeds to tell me that she has just come home from being in the hospital where she has been for the past 5 days for a prolapsed bladder (look it up, it's not something you want to experience) and that she had another heart attack while she was in the hospital! At this point, I am freaking out, NOBODY BOTHERED TO CALL ME! I understand why (I live far away, there's nothing I can do, she doesn't want me to worry, etc). I get that. But....she's my mom and I am still part of the family despite the fact that I live 5 provinces away. Someone should have thought, at some point "oh hey, we should call Jewel to let her know what's going on"

There is no point to this vent, I just needed it off my chest. Thanks for listening.

jewel

Heather75

My mom was hospitalised for having blood in her stool when I was living in the UK and no one bothered to tell me. I know exactly how you feel.

jrusso28

That's what parents do, they try to shield their kids from pain.

I hope that she gets well soon.

khk2010

I know how you feel too…

Laceylala

Can I also add to this vent:
My family didn't bother to tell me my brother got arrested last Wednesday. I had to find out from my husbands grandma who facebooked me how sorry she was and how my mom didn't need that...and then I had to ask her what she was talking about it.

For me, its because I am too judgemental on my brother and hard on him and my mom didn't want to deal with me at the same time. I get that. When you aren't as close to your family as you would like things like this happen I guess.

It blows and I am sorry that no one called you.

janemartin02

My dad was the same way,didn`t want to bother or worry us kids.It hurt my feelings many times.He was my dad and that`s how it went.My mom also.Didn`t know she had ulcers til the day she was having surgery to remove a portion of her stomach.

ron2282

My father had a seizure was I was on vacation in Australia and no one wanted to tell me. I found out when I called home during my 5 hour layover on the trip back home.

immacookie

I'm so sorry Jewel!! I hope your mom is going to be ok!!! :flowerforyou: :smooched:

I found out my grandpa was sick and in the hospital (for several days) AFTER he had passed.... and I lived a 3 hr drive at the time. Found out that an aunt died about 8 or 9 months after her funeral had taken place.... thankfully I hadn't asked my cousin what her mom was up to :noway: (she hadn't been sick).


One of my friends emailed out this story just a couple of weeks ago.... she lives with both her mom and dad as their "caretaker" (aka babysitter :laugh: ). She came home from work a couple of weeks ago and no one was home... odd... parents don't drive, but they do go for walks and it was nice.... she then finds the mail still outside and morning dishes were still in the sink (unlike mom)... she makes a few calls and finds out her mom had fallen and broken her hip that morning and was in the hospital. She LIVES with her parents and no one bothered to call her. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

dpauley46

My dad had a kidney stone and while having an ultrasound for it, the doctors found that he had an aortic aneurysm. He spent a day in the hospital for the stone and then home and best rest until they surgery the following Tuesday. After he lived through the surgery mom calls me and says everything is ok, your father did fine. I was furious and after finding out what happened I got off the phone. I had to pray about it and let it go. I don't like it but it is her choice to be all alone and she didn't really want to deal with my sister. I think she would have told me if not for my sister.
Also, parents protect their children, even their adult children. Forgive them, love them and maybe ask her if next time maybe she could call you. Hope your mom feels better soon.

auntiebabs

I remember how mad I was when my Dad died while I was on a ski weekend.

Good thing he was already at the hospital when it happened...
they brought him back, put a pacemaker in him and he lived another 22 years.


I hope you Mom feel's better soon. (and you too!)

anewattitude

wow.. I feel for everyone who has had that experience.

My mother is the total opposite! If she even so much as a cold she tells me!

My dad, however never spoke about how he felt about anything. When he was diagnosed with lung cancer he never talked ahout it and I didn't feel like I could ask him questions about it or even tell him how scared I was. I was afraid if I told him I was scared then he would feel I was giving up and I didn't want to be negative around him. It has been almost 15 years since he has passed away and lets just say, I wish I would have said what I needed to!

Sometimes people react to situations in a manner we feel is not appropriate or fair. My advice to everyone would be to tell your parent( parents) how you feel..... if you haven't already.... and let them know how hurt your were that you were left out. Let them know you have just as much right to know about their health as they do about yours, For those who said they understood why because of their own judgemental tendancies, perhaps that can be an opportunity to work to change that behaviour. We can't change our family, or their attitudes/behaviour but we can change our own. If you tell them how much it hurt and they still shut you out then you know you tried and that is all you can do.

Best wishes to you and your family

alienblonde1

Sorry that happened but be thankful your parents talk with you.

fitterpam

My husband's parents are the same way!!! They're in NB and we're in Ontario.....they specifically keep things from him regarding their health, so he does worry, but they tell me and expect me to keep it from them. I had to tell them that if they didn't want him to know not to tell me either, but that he was a big boy and could handle the stress......It's crazy!!!!