Can I get some opinions on a semi personal matter? (non wei

kirstinkrueger

i wouldn't meet him, but thats me. no way no how!

mufiey

tell him how you feel. write it out in a personal message on Facebook not on the wall for everyone to see. doing this will allow you to get the feelings off your chest. once you have done this be done with it. don't keep on at him. get it all out then and let him know that's what you are doing. then FORGIVE him yes i said forgive him. see you forgive someone so you can let go of it not so they can. you can forgive someone and never tell them but forgiving them helps you move on . now remember though just because you forgave him this does not mean you will forget! ! ! ! never make that mistake with him again and be on your guard with him concerning any other type of decisions he could take advantage of you in. because he sounds like a sleeze and you will probably never get your money back. and never let him stay with you.

chasingskinny

Okay, as everyone else said, he is a liar a coward, and just a real dirt bag. That being said, not forgiving him is eating away at your emotions. (I remember a quote by someone that said "forgive - not for them, but for yourself" - it's so true) My advice? Forgive him, let him and your hubby be friends. Heck, even let him come over every now and then if he wants. Make sure he knows you know what he kind of person he is and you are choosing to be civil in spite of it. DON'T EVER trust him, and don't forget the past or you'll end up repeating some version of it.

koosdel

If I may, my opinion on forgiveness.
I know its hard, I know sometime it doesn't seem right for you to be the one who steps forward.

Forgiveness isn't about the crime, it isn't about 'them' it isn't about regret. It is about you and your well-being. When you forgive someone, you don't have to put stipulations on it, you don't have to bring this person back into your life, and you don't have to talk about what they did.

It's all about you. Not, well you did this so I did that. It's just about you. I'm not telling you to forgive this person, honestly I didn't read the part of your post about what they did. I only read how it is making you feel. I can say that if you are still dwelling on their actions, maybe it is time to forgive and forget.

I really hope everything works out for you.

aliciadpo

1.) Forgive. You should always forgive. This does not mean you forget what happened. I have a situation with a friend from high school (she still thinks I haven't forgiven but I have)....which leads to #2
2.) Detachment - you have to detach yourself from the situation. You have to detach for yourself and for no one else. If you are like most people, you have enough going on in your life, you don't need anyone elses DRAMA. You don't have to be friends with or hang out with anyone you don't want to but you can forgive and always be cordial with someone. Let go and let God

aliciadpo

Also, you don't have to tell someone, "I forgive you". You can forgive without having to prove it to anyone

silhouettes

Thank you for all your answers. I have decided to let him have his say because I can't find myself to forgive him without talking to him. I have tried and I just can't.

We are going to meet, him, me, my husband and a mutual friend on Friday (after a Church event no less.. apparently he goes to Church alot now) and talk. I don't know what's going to happen, but I feel I have to do this face to face or not at all. I will be seeing him in person after this.. no longer avoid going with Josh's to his friend's outtings because I am afraid I will see him.

I figure get all the awkwardness out in the beginning. I can't lie I am nervous... but I feel I have to do this.

I will let you guys know how it goes.. wish me luck... I think I need it.

silhouettes

The "meeting" still hasn't happened so I have no news... with all the holiday's I am clueless to when it will if it does happen.. but I'll keep you guys updated.

bigjon1784

In my opinion, I agree with previous poster that you should forgive him, or at very least let go of the anger. HOWEVER, he is still one to keep at arms length, and , unless he makes a huge change or trun around, then don't make this person part of your life. There are many people that we rub shoulders with that don't change OUR values or principles, so go on with your life. I am sure your husband will and should understand. The thing that puzzles me is that why would he continue to be friends with this person if his standards are I expect higher.
Move on and don't let it consume you, your better than that!

chantel14

I would say forgive him for your own personal reasons... But I definitely wouldn't want someone like that in your life.

silhouettes

I wanted to put an update.. we had a "meeting" last night after my visit to bar.. I was a little tipsy because I was nervous but I was in a complete state of mind to think.. I think it helped to have drunk some because it relaxed me and we actually had a nice talk.. we had a mutual friend there because the two of us and Josh to help mediate.. but he ended up just sitting there doing nothing.

We were honest and stuff, I'm not sure what's going to happen from here... but it's a start.. I feel better.. I may or may not ever see him again but at least I feel my part is said.