I have a question about stay at home parents...

k2d4p

It's not exactly fun, but it's not related to fitness so I didn't know where to put it. I want to start by saying that I absolutely love and respect stay at home parents and truly think it is a job that doesn't get the credit it deserves. I am not being bitter, I am really just wanting other people insights and opinions.

Question: In general, what do you think are the duties of the stay at home parent?

I know every family is different, and job specifics would be different for each family. But, I would like some general opinions. Thank you.

Marisela233

according to my husband- cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids... i have a 7 yr old 4 yr old and 4 month old and sometimes wish i could work too love my kids but they drive me crazy!!!

abaker768

I wouldn't think of them as "duties"... I expect my hubby to share the work. I work full time (plus OT), go to school full time, Mommy of two, wife, etc.. I know I can't get things done. I think taking care of the kids is a major battle, but, I do expect him to fold laundry, (I washed it, he can fold it.) If I let him cook, we'd eat pancakes for every meal. I try to throw stuff in the crock pot, or have him do it. Just depends. Like you said, every situation is different. He's not working, so I am. (I am bitter about it at times, and I'd kill to stay at home, but health insurance and essentials are more important!) feel free to add me if you want!

zeeeb

I would say it is way under rated as a job.

I am a stay at home mum, and often I wish i could just go back to work, it is far easier... far less frustrating... and so much easier to keep your cool with other people than it is with your own kids.

For me, i don't earn enough money to go back to work, i'd be working for about $20 a day after paying all the childcare costs which is just not worth it, considering everything is more expensive, travel, petrol, work clothes / shoes, convenience food etc. and then time would be just CRAZY trying to get everyone everywhere, and the house cleaned, meals cooked, clothes washed, find time for the gym etc.

the duties, WASHING CLOTHES (i do 2 loads a day most days), caring for the children, feeding, cleaning, keeping them amused, keeping the household finances under control, organising kindy, school, activities etc.. but when you are at home, the cleaning is endless, you can tidy the house 10 times a day, and still when dad gets home the place is a mess and he wonders what i've been doing all day. i take my hat off to teachers and childcare workers, i could not do it, it would drive me INSANE!

mum23

personally i do as much as i possibly can in the home, and i am responsible for nearly everything for the kids. husband works full time, doing a manual job and in shifts. i do all cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, i do 70% of the diy and house stuff, i sort all banking, bills, repairs, i deal with all the school things, trips, meetings, volunteering. i have 3 kids 3, 7 and 11. husband does things when i ask him to. i choose to do it all. i dont always like it, and i get bored and fed up. but we chose to sacrifice extra cash for me to look after the kids until they are all in full time school.

Sutton002

Well, I always worked 1 or 2 full time jobs until 2 years ago. We have 8 children (some adopted) not that it matters but it makes parenting different because there are more issues.

Being a stay at home parent I feel my duties are : get kids ready for school, get them to school, pick up house, take kids to appointments, pay bills, play with kids, laundry, mow grass once a week, laundry, sports, attend activities, help with homework, keep order, structure and routine in our daily lives, be a taxi driver, a cheerleader, a reward giver, pack hubby lunch, make dinner, facilitate chores, create and maintain an enthusiastic, creative and nurturing home environment!!! I have tons of experience and lots of ideas! I have children from severe special needs to very independant! It is my responsibility as a MOM and a stay at home mom at that to keep things moving and in control!

xFrancescax

you can tidy the house 10 times a day, and still when dad gets home the place is a mess and he wonders what i've been doing all day.

Same here!!

LeeBeeW

I am a stay at home Mum and have been for the past 7 years, I go back to work next year when my youngest starts school. It isn't worth me going back to work before that as childcare would take most of my pay.

My duties are anything that needs doing really. When my husband gets home he is there to take on what needs to be done before the kids go to bed.
I am a little 'stepford wife' sometimes and have everything ready and organised so that my husband doesn't have anything to do and tea is usually ready by the time he gets in.

Never in the 16yrs has my husband ever expected anything to be done and he wouldn't care if he walked into a trashed house and had to cook for himself. As long as the kids are happy and you and hubby are happy, nothing else matters really :flowerforyou:

emsibun

As a stay at home mum my duties fall into three categories:

1. Childcare:

Looking after the children, making sure they are where they need to be at the right time (i.e. school and Rainbows etc). Keeping in touch with their school and their teachers and ensuring their homework gets done on time and with good effort. On the stop discipline - but their dad and I share any responsibility for discipline, especially if more is needed than a telling off, and explanation , sending to their room etc.

2. Housework

Daily cooking and cleaning. Anything - like window cleaning for example - that's more of a job is shared.

3. Household management.

Setting budgets we can follow, paying bills, booking activities for the kids and making sure that everyone has clothes and shoes that fit (this can include my husband since he'd wear a (clean) T-shirt until it fell apart!). Planning meals and shopping for all provisions.

Hope this helps!

Aylilth

haha it is a bit of a thankless job.

I cook all the time...but I like cooking. Then there's laundry and that is never ending. Plus things with the kids- school stuff/daycare things. Birthdays etc etc. Then there's budgeting paying bills.

My hubby says I run the house pretty much.

I would like to work yes, but it's not really worth it at the end of the day. So right now I study and do my gym thing.

Zuznana

I'm stay at home mum and due to circumstances my husband is at home atm too. So It's all kind of disorganized here as I don't want to do it all myself since he is home too (I know, but things should be shared, we always agreed on that).

So my day is kind of get up, get breakfast, MFP, get kids to school, exercise, MFP, lunch, MFP, washing, washing dishes, tidy up, MFP, get kids from school, tak them out of do something with them, MFP, clean up dishes, star cooking dinner, MFP, wash up after dinner, MFP, get kids washed (well, the 4 year old), TV bedtime story, story book, MFP and sleep.

When my husband finds a work and both kids are at school (my 4 year old starts in september), then I would be looking after the house, tidying up, general cleaning, cooking, shopping...lol, so basically what I do now, but without the audience, lol:laugh:

Sharkpak

Let me first say how amazing you look! I don't know you but i felt very proud of you after reading your story! Way to go! I feel so inspired by you! Im going to do it, and like you said you just "KNOW" its time thats how I feel and your story what you have done makes me feel its possible so i thank you for that.

What does a stay at home parent do? I think alot of the girls answered about accurate. What good moms they all sound to be.
What a tough job it is being the one that stays home and coordinates everyone's life down to what they eat! But as most moms know at the end of the day what a rewarding job they have. this is not the days of when all moms stayed home so you have to be creative in how you socialize and get your kids socialized. I dont think there is one right answer every mom does it different.
For me, my kids are 12, 9 and 3 all boys. And each one becasue of age requires someting different. Honestly i dont know how it al gets done but it does just not all in one day thats a key thing to remember, i used to think it did have to happen on one day but i realize you have to also enjoy your day, no rushing around. I say if your husband works all day make sure to have a hot meal waiting for him when he gets home its just a nice way to show him how much you appriciate him, for what he does so you can stay home and care for your and his children. Split the nighttime children responsibilites after all he has been working all day to bring in bacon and so have you, it gives him time to bond and get to know the kids in the way you do. For instance my husband (what a good guy) he asks what needs to be done and then there are regular things he does like teeth brushing time, and getting P.j.'s and showers going. I read the bedtime stories, dinner, homework, and direct the traffic ha! Everything in between while your husband is at work should work like this priorities like making lunches, kids to school appointments, etc and everything else try to enjoy the little moments with your kids, like holding hands as you go up an escalator at the mall looking down at him with a smile, enjoy coloring time, enjoy your role for what it is, when your child has a school problem take pride in being a problem solver and teacher all at once to him. In this society and culture what a gift it is to be able to be a mommy to your children 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Life is hard enough, taking care of children is not easy but it is the only job worth its weight. They are our future, give them what they need to grow and prosper and be productive citizens and be PROUD of what you accomplish through your children!

lisam724

I #1 is the kids then I make sure the house the house work is done I take care of all the house bills and banking. OH and i work Saturdays Driving a City Bus.

k2d4p

Thank you all for the replies. I am the "income" working parent in my relationship. (I consider us both "working" parents.) My husband and I were having a discussion today about what he should be doing at home(since he is there all day) and what I am supposed to be doing at home(as the one who works outside the home all day). It turned into a little bit of a heated debate. I was really just looking for how other families who are in a similar situation as us divide tasks and how it works for you. Thanks again.

k2d4p

Let me first say how amazing you look! I don't know you but i felt very proud of you after reading your story! Way to go! I feel so inspired by you! Im going to do it, and like you said you just "KNOW" its time thats how I feel and your story what you have done makes me feel its possible so i thank you for that.

Thank you very much for this!

suzycreamcheese

taking care of the kids when hes not here, and doing the majority of the housework when hes not here.

he can help out with both when hes home though

catcrazy

As a former stay at home mum i'd say my "job" was to.....

Look after the childrens needs...all their needs until the time dad came home then he could share the duties (ha, didn't quite work out like that!)

Clean up, the general day to day tidying, polishing etc. Big clean ups were left to the weekend, I can't be bleaching/disinfecting toilets etc with a baby in tow (it still fell to me when he was home at the weekend - strange that!:grumble: )

Prepare and cook the meals, there wasn't a meal waiting on the table for when he got home but it was ready to cook/finish off for when he got home which I then did as he had daddy time with the children.

Bills were paid, appointments were attended and minor shopping was done. Main shopping was usually down to him because shopping with 4 children in tow was a nightmare and there is no way he'd have been left with all 4 children for the time it took to do the main shop. I didn't drive and there was only so much shopping a pushchair and myself could carry while taking care/keeping an eye on a baby, a toddler and 2 more under 9.

It was a full time job, and I loved it but he could have taken a bit more of the childcare workload once he got home and we did have many arguments about it. he worked hard, but he clocked off at 5. He'd spend half an hour playing with the kids while I finished off the evening meal then the evening was his own. My day continued until much later doing the things that couldn't be done earlier in the day. Bath time for 4 children, 2 lots of tucking in and bedtime stories. washing up after the evening meal and feeding changing a baby. No, we're no longer together!

kelsue35

i am a stay at home mom of 4 (18 13 10 and 6) and i also work from home doing data research on the computer. here is a list of jobs that are said to be the jobs of a stay at home parent. to bad we dont get paid to do all of this. we would all be rich!


Job Title
Daycare teacher
cook
Medical assistant
Tutor
driver
(Mental Health) Counselor
Housekeeper
Sr. administrative assistant
Event coordinator
Drug counselor
Writer (notes, letters)
DJ
Career counselor
Referee
Child advocate
Costume designer
Editor
Fundraiser
Tour guide
Entertainer

god bless all stay at home parents!

Aruba08

Wow OP, ot I know but you have lost a serious amount of weight. Really well done

I am a SAHM and I do most things with regards to housework, shopping, finances and childcare. My husband works full time but is still great when he is at home. He does the evening washing up and puts the smallest child who is nearly 2 to bed every evening

punkrockmama

Perhaps it would be easier to explain what happens when my husband gets home, as I do it all during the day. When he gets home he takes over while I prep dinner and clean the kitchen. We eat, he bathes the boys while I take care of whatever needs done. They have a snack, I brush teeth, then he reads stories and we tuck kids in. Then the husband is done for the night. I'll usually "work" for an hour after they go to sleep. Dishes, morning prep, grocery shopping, bills, etc. He also does dishes on the weekend, and really kind of takes over with the kids.

I think this is a balance that works well for us, but that each family has to find their own. We split up the things that we dislike the most, make sure that we each get enough 'me time', and enough 'together time'. And we always TRY to understand that we have no clue what the other one went through during the day.