Sick of the mind games

Newmammaluv

I KNOW I am not the only one out there that is struggling with this but I am SO sick of the freakin mind games that our very own mind plays on us. I've never been thin... ever. I don't even know what it looks like to be smaller than a size 14. I have lost 20lbs in less than 2 months... yesterday I did 25 minutes of interval training, 15 minutes of push ups, sit ups etc as a warm up and then later after dinner we went for a 40 minute walk. Today I feel HUGE, nothing fits right and when I look in the mirror I see a fat disgusting blob staring back at me. On days like today I don't care that I have already lost 20 (I've lost 70-90lbs multiple different times in my life) so big whoop. On days like today I don't want to eat at all. On days like today I want to hide from the world.

But at the same time I HATED the attention of being slimmer. I hated being hit on, I hated people commenting on how good I looked and I all around hated the entire experience of being smaller. I genuinely enjoy being heavy BECAUSE people leave me alone and I am virtually invisible.

So on days like today I am left to deal with my own secret war inside my head. Be healthy and thin and have unwanted attention or be fat and annonymous but unhealthy. It's easy to do either one but my mind never stops spinning on days like today.

dls06

Be hot but when they hit on you tell them "you couldn't handle it"! that shuts them up.

Onesnap

Soak in that attention. People don't mean any harm. After all, you only live once. It's okay that you're having a battle in your head. We're told not to like unwanted attention. Just smile and keep on walking.

ChunTingO

understood...been up and down and trapped in that battle of having the unwanted attention and the being invisible. But like onesnap said you only live once enjoy it!

Jojo42

whack a big ring on your engagement finger and waggle it at anyone who hits on you.

No seriously, we all get used to being a certain way and and fitting into society with this label...it's not going to change over night, it takes months,you will have time and chance to get used to feeling so different.
It's a bit like having a baby from scratch and getting used to it as it grows rather than just being handed a 3 year old to cope with!

carriehughes456

It is a battlefield of the mind. Keep thinking of your daughter and husband. Day by day. I have lost a lot of weight over the years (off and on) and we do get more attention when we are thinner. It is the world we live in. Try to think positive before you start your day and try to ignore those who bring you down for different reasons. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

As for the feeling Huge, we all days like that and want results faster. It will happen. Hang in there.

nrin04

I feel the same way....I do not like the attention, I like not being seen...I like being in the shadow of others. These are the minds games that torture us. I wanted to share so you don't feel so alone. Everytime I lose weight and then when I start getting unwanted attention, I start to overeat again...so I can be in my comfort zone.

Keep you head up...its about being healthly now, and not about other people

Best of luck....

Still_Sossy

whack a big ring on your engagement finger and waggle it at anyone who hits on you.

^^^^^^^ In my experience this does not work. My husband gave me a nice size and very beautiful one. So for when I go out or am in NYC for business and alone, I went and bought an "Absolute" diamond from Hsn that is 5 carats with a matching wedding band just so men could see it at 60 paces away, sparkles like crazy and impossible to miss. I though this HAS to keep men away. Fact is some apparently do NOT care if you are married, engaged, attached, or whatever.

♥Faerie♥

Know exactly how you feel.....just read my blog.....its maddening at times

Ashley_Panda

I understand this completely. I've lost almost 130lbs and still feel that I look like I did when I weighed 335.

happymom1197

I have my own version of mind games
Hang in there! Be healthy!!!!!!!!! Feeling healthy is worth all the other crap. . . . in my opinion anyway.