****ty Friend... what to do?....

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  • Tiana405
    Tiana405 Posts: 270 Member
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    I know girls like this

    if you really don't want to cut ties with her (which you should but i understand loyalty to old friends)

    I suggest being extremely blunt with her
    it's the only way to get through to girls like this

    tell her just what you told us
    and worst case scenario she might hate you but you aren't really losing much of anything of a friend anyways

    but if she really responds to the harsh honesty and realizes what a **** person she's being then you might be really helping her. in the end you will be doing her a huge favor.

    That's the problem... I HAVE told her. It doesn't even phase her! I've been soooo blunt. Her feeling have been hurt and then 5 minutes later... it's like we NEVER HAD THE CONVERSATION! There are too many people like this in the world. ugh... :sick:
  • strapple
    strapple Posts: 353 Member
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    I know girls like this

    if you really don't want to cut ties with her (which you should but i understand loyalty to old friends)

    I suggest being extremely blunt with her
    it's the only way to get through to girls like this

    tell her just what you told us
    and worst case scenario she might hate you but you aren't really losing much of anything of a friend anyways

    but if she really responds to the harsh honesty and realizes what a **** person she's being then you might be really helping her. in the end you will be doing her a huge favor.

    That's the problem... I HAVE told her. It doesn't even phase her! I've been soooo blunt. Her feeling have been hurt and then 5 minutes later... it's like we NEVER HAD THE CONVERSATION! There are too many people like this in the world. ugh... :sick:
  • Tiana405
    Tiana405 Posts: 270 Member
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    Oy. I've got a "friend" like that too. Can't get rid of her because she's also a colleague in a fairly small department and she's a huge gossip. I say just walk away and share your life with your real friends. If you can't then every time she tries that stuff, say something bland like "No thanks. I have plenty of clothes," and then leave or completely change the subject to something she can't be competitive about like the weather or kittens or something else. When you get too boring for her she'll move on to better victims.

    Mean girls rot no matter what age they are.

    Oh, God.... apparently, you've never met a person like THIS! If you say it's gonna rain.... she sends you links that say it's not... you say kittens are cute when they're put in bonnets... she'll show you an ugly as kitten wearing one... relentless, I tell you.
  • Tiana405
    Tiana405 Posts: 270 Member
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    You've got that right! This woman is an adult... it is not your place to try to help her with her issues that she is trying so desperately to deflect onto you... drop her like it's hot and surround yourself with positive people. Life is too short and this woman needs to realize that you reap what you sow.

    She wouldn't know what Karma was if it fell from the sky, landed on her face and started to wiggle! *compliments of dan akroyd in the great outdoors* LMFAO!
  • Tiana405
    Tiana405 Posts: 270 Member
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    :drinker:
    i'd call her a spiteful b**ch not a friend:smile:
    [/quot


    AMEN, SISTA!
  • strapple
    strapple Posts: 353 Member
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    okay if you've confronted her and she is still in denial all you can do is cut ties and let her see it on her own. it might take years and she might never even thank you but you'll always know that someday she WILL realize she was being ****.

    this is coming from a former 'mean girl'

    im not proud of it but I can tell you honestly
    any lashing out she has... after she grows up, even if she doesn't ever thank you I promise you made an impact and she will be a better person for it someday
  • Tiana405
    Tiana405 Posts: 270 Member
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    Sounds like she's insecure & mightily jealous of your success. Depends on how much you still want her in your life - just change the subject when she brings it up or try & let her stupid comments wash over you - hard I know...

    We're still with you - you're doing just fine!!! :flowerforyou:

    Sue :smile: x

    Thank you for the motivation, Sue. I greatly appreciate it! I feel that she is very sour about our compared successes and she's kind of a non-factor in my life, so I could definitely scratch her off my "daily persons list". It would probably be in best interest.
  • Tiana405
    Tiana405 Posts: 270 Member
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    okay if you've confronted her and she is still in denial all you can do is cut ties and let her see it on her own. it might take years and she might never even thank you but you'll always know that someday she WILL realize she was being ****.

    this is coming from a former 'mean girl'

    im not proud of it but I can tell you honestly
    any lashing out she has... after she grows up, even if she doesn't ever thank you I promise you made an impact and she will be a better person for it someday

    I, too, have been a heartless ***** in my former days and I have had people impact my life and they don't even know it. I don't mind being a "stepping stone" for someone to better themselves with their ****ty personalities, but fuh! I don't ever remember being such a *****!!! Who does that?! LOL! yeah... I've been very blunt with her... calling her a rude *****... telling her that's not acceptable and that it makes me feel bad about myself, etc. Goes RIGHT over the head. *taking a pair of scissors and cutting the ties*
  • strapple
    strapple Posts: 353 Member
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    be blunt

    cut your ties

    if if helps her that's great, if not then ignore her and she's garbage
  • Tiana405
    Tiana405 Posts: 270 Member
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    it sounds to me that she feels intimidated by how well you are doing and is trying to sabotage your sucess, so she does better. the thing is she may not be fully aware of the impact her behaviour is having on you. it's a shame because as a pair you could motivate and encourage each other. at the end of the day you could spend a lot of emotional energy on her or you can focus solely on yourself and carry on with what you are doing. if you really cannot tolerate her behaviour, then don't spend much time around her. she will soon get the message. you may lose her as a friend, but she isn't behaving like a one, so you need to move on and find people who will support you.:bigsmile:
    AGREE!!!!
  • DebiP10
    DebiP10 Posts: 275 Member
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    i know a girl like this too. people like her are insecure and feel by putting other people down it will make them look/feel good. tell her to jog on and maybe take a long hard look in the mirror before making nasty comments.
  • Tiana405
    Tiana405 Posts: 270 Member
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    i know a girl like this too. people like her are insecure and feel by putting other people down it will make them look/feel good. tell her to jog on and maybe take a long hard look in the mirror before making nasty comments.

    i've tried sooo many tactics with this girl... NOTHING seems to work. I really need to just cut ties. I'm not the one missing out... Just need to remind myself of that.
  • TheGoktor
    TheGoktor Posts: 1,138 Member
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    i know a girl like this too. people like her are insecure and feel by putting other people down it will make them look/feel good. tell her to jog on and maybe take a long hard look in the mirror before making nasty comments.

    i've tried sooo many tactics with this girl... NOTHING seems to work. I really need to just cut ties. I'm not the one missing out... Just need to remind myself of that.

    Are you able to tell her face to face that you no longer want anything to do with her? I suspect this could be quite difficult, given how contrary she seems to be; perhaps it would end up with her being even more nasty, and you walking away, feeling like the villain of the piece. So maybe an email, where you could clearly explain how you feel and why you don't want her in your life any more? I realise it sounds a tad cowardly but honestly, do whatever it takes! You might also want to block her email address so any spite which comes back, goes straight into the junkmail filter!

    Good luck with it, however you decide to do it... and do try to remain calm and rise above her pettiness. If you sink to her level, you'll just end up feeling bad about it, and she'll still have a foothold. :grumble:

    (Finally, I get a chance to use the grumbly smiley!)
  • tiggr62
    tiggr62 Posts: 64 Member
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    If you have been friends for a long time then it might be really hard to just ditch her. If she has always been like this through out friendship on other issues then I would say she is very imature and has a lot of baggage. I wouldn't put up with her ****, I'd tell her exactly what is pissing you off about her and if she doesn't get the message then the hell with her. Life is way toooooo short to put up with other people and their crap. You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends. I wouldn't put up with it if it were me. The choice is totally yours but I'm sure you have plenty of other friends that can inspire and support you without this one causing you grief all the time. Good luck

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