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xaintes
Posts: 129
(reposting here since I'm a space cadet and posted under Food/Nutrition)
THANK YOU!
Since before I was born, my father has never taken care of himself. He has eaten poorly, never exercised, and been generally apathetic about his health. His family has a long history of heart disease, diabetes, kidney disease, etc., yet he ignored every warning and piece of advice any doctor ever gave him.
Growing up, he'd stay in the car or in the hotel room while my mom, my sister and I would walk around on our vacations. He'd only make an appearance for a meal, then he'd disappear again. He'd complain every time we didn't want to go to some fat-laden restaurant, and would refuse any meal my mother made when she attempted to help him eat better.
By the time I hit high school, his health had deteriorated markedly. By college, he had two surgeries to clean out arteries clogged >90%, triple bypass, and had a stroke during my junior year at the age of 60. He spends at least a quarter of the year in the hospital, and had a fistula put in last winter to prepare him to start dialysis this spring. Still, he refuses to change his eating habits or even do physical therapy (despite the urging of every medical professional he encounters). He says that we don't understand how hard it is to change, and that changing his eating would suck all the happiness and enjoyment out of his life. He no longer works, and my mother now works 7 days a week trying to pay for his mounting medical bills. Even his social worker does not understand why he doesn't "get it".
The message he has sent me and my family throughout our lives is that food (namely candy, fast food, chips, and other junk) is more important than us. He would rather eat a McDonald's hamburger than be there for his family. He would rather enjoy his milkshake than ensure that he'll be able to walk me down the aisle for my wedding in July. It's painful to know that a parent does not see that they are choosing food over family. I know it's hard to change - I'm doing it myself right now. Many of my father's habits rubbed off on me, but then I realized that I did not want to live so selfishly and unhealthily.
So thank you, those of you that are doing this not only for yourself but for your children and your family. They may never say thank you (especially the ones that are only babies during this journey you're taking), but you are giving them the invaluable gift of your energy and health. By taking care of yourself, you're showing them how much you deeply love them.
THANK YOU!
Since before I was born, my father has never taken care of himself. He has eaten poorly, never exercised, and been generally apathetic about his health. His family has a long history of heart disease, diabetes, kidney disease, etc., yet he ignored every warning and piece of advice any doctor ever gave him.
Growing up, he'd stay in the car or in the hotel room while my mom, my sister and I would walk around on our vacations. He'd only make an appearance for a meal, then he'd disappear again. He'd complain every time we didn't want to go to some fat-laden restaurant, and would refuse any meal my mother made when she attempted to help him eat better.
By the time I hit high school, his health had deteriorated markedly. By college, he had two surgeries to clean out arteries clogged >90%, triple bypass, and had a stroke during my junior year at the age of 60. He spends at least a quarter of the year in the hospital, and had a fistula put in last winter to prepare him to start dialysis this spring. Still, he refuses to change his eating habits or even do physical therapy (despite the urging of every medical professional he encounters). He says that we don't understand how hard it is to change, and that changing his eating would suck all the happiness and enjoyment out of his life. He no longer works, and my mother now works 7 days a week trying to pay for his mounting medical bills. Even his social worker does not understand why he doesn't "get it".
The message he has sent me and my family throughout our lives is that food (namely candy, fast food, chips, and other junk) is more important than us. He would rather eat a McDonald's hamburger than be there for his family. He would rather enjoy his milkshake than ensure that he'll be able to walk me down the aisle for my wedding in July. It's painful to know that a parent does not see that they are choosing food over family. I know it's hard to change - I'm doing it myself right now. Many of my father's habits rubbed off on me, but then I realized that I did not want to live so selfishly and unhealthily.
So thank you, those of you that are doing this not only for yourself but for your children and your family. They may never say thank you (especially the ones that are only babies during this journey you're taking), but you are giving them the invaluable gift of your energy and health. By taking care of yourself, you're showing them how much you deeply love them.
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Replies
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I want to be healthy for my kids. To be able to run in the park, swim, and ride bike with my kids chasing me. It is a sad day when they slow down on their bikes to wait for me...they ask me if I am okay and yell at eachother to wait for mommy. They ask if I am okay and worry...what 6, 7, and 9 year old girls should have to do that??? I cry on the inside and push myself harder on the outside. They are my motivation and I will reach my goal for them and me!!!
Thank you for sharing your story...I will pray for you, your dad, and your family. May your dad finally be motivated by you and may you continue to motivate yourself by him!!!0 -
fabulous post....I'm sorry about your father, but I know that you are taking the right steps to live a better lifestyle. I wish you much success on your journey...0
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Last month I seen my doctor. Had some blood work done. My cholesterol and triglycerides are way too high. I either have to get them down or go on meds. I don't want meds, so I'm trying to get them down by changing my eating habits and losing weight. Also, I have 3 grown kids, but it's my grand kids I want to be here for. One day I was playing with my grandson, he's 6 almost 7 now, any way, we were playing. Well, I had a headache and I leaned my head back onto the back of the sofa. When he was trying to talk to me, I ignored him for a minute, trying to get my headache to ease up. Well, he started crying. I looked at him and asked him what was wrong. He told me he thought I was dead. That did it...that and my blood test. I'm doing everything I can to get healthy again. I want to be here for that little guy and our grand-daughter. I'm sorry your father hasn't done anything to improve his life, to insure he'll be here for you and the rest of your family, for years to come. You won't be able to do anything for him. You can't help someone who's not willing to help themselves. But you can help yourself and your family by getting healthy. You're doing the right thing. Feel free to contact me. Gotta run. My alarm is going off. Hope you have a good day.0
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Thank you for sharing your story with us Xaintes. Growing up I never had a problem with my parents keeping up with me. I had an active lifestyle until I got pregnant with my daughter 6 years ago. Ever since then I have let myself go and not have the energy to do anything. That is until the end of February of this year. I decided I was tired of being fat, and tired of always being tired and not being able to play with my 2 kids. I have lost 15 lbs so far. I started to lose weight for myself, but my kids are my motivation!0
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It makes me so happy to hear how motivated people are to change! I just really wanted to let all of you know what a huge thing you are doing for their families, even if they don't always consciously appreciate it (not mention what you are doing for yourself).0
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