Coworker & her comment

ruhimaach

My cube-mate at work is shorter & fatter than me. She eats anything that catches her fancy. We went clothes shopping yesterday. She must have selected around 10 skirts & tops to try on. Nothing fitted her, because of her tummy. She came out of the fitting room pretty dejected & vowed to eat healthier & get fitter. Next, we went to the Food Court because she was hungry. I had my munchies in my purse & didn't eat anything at the Food Court. She bought herself a big bag of Tortilla Chips with Cheese dip. Just 10 mins back, she was complaining about her figure. I don't think she's ready to get fit yet. About 3 weeks back, we had both set aside 30 mins during our lunch break to walk around the work campus. She canceled our walks 9/10 times. Finally, I canceled our "meeting". To me, it didn't matter much because I come back home & exercise anyway. I thought this would be a good way for her to walk for a bit.

Yesterday, before leaving for the day, she tells me "You must be thinking I eat so horribly...I ate that entire bag of chips". I said, "Well I am no one to judge you. I make horrible choices myself. For example, I ate 0.5 bags of Tortilla chips from Chipotle too. (But I'd already rationed it into my everyday calorie goal)". She smiled at me & felt a little relieved. However, I felt horrible after this dialogue exchange. I wonder if my "getting healthier" program is getting to her and if she feels judged? :ohwell: I've never asked her not to eat something. She offers me cookies & cakes pretty often and I always turn them down because what I put in my body is my decision.

She examines my tummy everyday to see if it has shrunk further. I have noticed her eyes traveling across the length of my body. I really like her as a coworker and we've had some amazing times together. But it does get annoying when she says things like "oh we're both so fat!". For the record, I am 5'1.5", currently at 153.2 lbs. She must be 4'11" and much heavier than me for sure. I really want to help her change her eating habits. But I really don't think she's ready yet.

wsheaf82

Keep doing what you are doing. Maybe your success will inspire her to make the changes she needs to. Show her there is a reward for the hard work.

ruhimaach

While I've just started this change myself, I really hope I can inspire her to stop feeding her body crap.

staciekins

Keep doing what you are doing. Maybe your success will inspire her to make the changes she needs to. Show her there is a reward for the hard work.

.

Yes...

GooneyAngel

It must be a little difficult for you. You are on a health journey and she is not. Just keep up your dedication to being healthy and encourage your friend whenever she gives you the opportunity. People at my work have finally stopped offering my unhealthy snacks. They all know that I am on this journey and encourage me every time they can! I feel so lucky to be working with such great people!

Johnnyswife

Stand up for yourself. She's not taking responsibility for her choices and acting jealous of your sucess. Next time she says that your both fat, just remind her your losing the weight, what is she doing?

Homer3D

I don't see any problem with what you are doing and you should not feel bad for her because you are trying to get healthier. Your coworker will have to deal with her own problems. There are tons of people out there that complain about how "fat" they are but yet do absolutely nothing to fix it. If she is not happy with they way she looks/feels, then she needs to make a change in her life. But don't let her self pity bring you down or make you feel bad about what you are doing.

frenchprairiegirl

Congratulations on not allowing someone else steer you away from your goal. Take your walks at lunch time, maybe she will eventually tag along. As for her eating habits, focus on our own. Again, seeing what you put into your body may inspire her to make better, healthier choices. But the decision has to be hers. Until she actually puts her mind to it and starts to act, it won't make a difference.
Keep at it!

strandedeyes

As much as you want to help her.... only she can help herself...

If it does get to the point where its unbearable, talk to her about it. Tell her that you don't appreciate her looks and those comments at it hurts. She probably is scared about being alone in the "i am fat" category and wants to keep you in it with her so she has company. Don't let her... talk to her and tell her that how you feel... if not... let her be and keeping doing you.. .you are doing amazing and your diligence with keeping up with your foods is awesome! Remember this journey is about you and for you.... not for her

fitkitty1

You are doing this for you. Don't let her comments make you feel bad. A few months ago I saw this article about weight loss and the psychological effect it has on people. The article stated that some people are honestly afraid to loose weight because they don't know if friends will reject them or not want to be friends with a skinny version of them. So they sabotage their diets. DON'T BE THAT GIRL! I know she is a friend... But maybe your fitness goals will inspire her... but be ready to face that it may drive her into a mini fit because you can fit things and she cant.

Were here to support ya and KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

cokpara

I agree with everyone else... keep doing what you're doing, but don't make her problems your problems. Seems like you have the personality where you want to encourage others to lead a healthier lifestyle as you are doing for yourself, but you can only help those who want to help themselves. stay focused, we're all here to support you and if she becomes a negative source or person in your life, then you have to let her go. trust me, that negativity has no perks to it. just keep it up, stay focused and let NO ONE deter you!

lyonscl

Have you asked your friend if she wants to be your "diet buddy?" While she is clearly not motivated the way you are, maybe she would welcome help in learning healthy eating habits and better choices. Sort of an "eat this, not that" approach. In any event, I applaud your dedication. We all know it is not easy to make good choices all of the time and to say "no" to those sweets. Kudos to you! Keep up the good work.

R_is_for_Rachel

i would actually suggest she joins this site! say how well it's working for you and how lovely and supportive people are here. It's understandable that she's feeling a bit envious, but from what you say i don't think she's being nasty -just insecure, so maybe MFP will help her?

ruhimaach

Everyone, thank you so much for your comments and for your support. :flowerforyou: I have mentioned MFP to her SO many times. I told her to download it to her BlackBerry so that she can at least TRACK what she's eating, even if she's exercise averse. She retorts back by saying "Oh please!". Whenever she says "Oh please!", I feel like she's insulting my effort to track food and exercise. Maybe she doesn't realize it, not sure. About a month back, when I was doing nothing to shed this flab, I would always say "Oh God! I hate being overweight!". I would never tell her that she's overweight as well. I don't think it's my place to tell her that she's overweight. That is why it amazes me when she includes me whenever she says something about being overweight. I know I'm overweight, but I would rather not hear about it from her. She also told me how two other coworkers think I'm pregnant. :huh: I already have issues with the way I look. I would have appreciated not hearing about these comments from her...dunno if she was trying to help me or make me look bad in my own eyes.

I guess my progress is not noticeable to her, which is why she keeps asking me "So what's new with your weight loss? Did you lose anymore?". Half of the times, I don't feel like sharing my success with her, because she responds by saying "Oh yeah?". I feel like telling her, "HECK YEAH!"

I agree that she's probably just envious because she doesn't do anything about her health. I would really like to continue to talk to her, because she sits right next to me. Ignoring her would make my work time very unenjoyable. Anyway, I will continue to keep up with my new goal & try to ignore her comments as much as possible. If she decides to change, I'll be there for her to support her. Thank you everyone once again!