Crying over my keys...87 pounds lost

jrlenig

So 2 weeks ago my scale broke, I started this obstacle off as oh well, let me eat junk. I did this one day, and halfway through my half of a large Papa John's pizza I thought what the heck am I doing? I put on my gear and headed off to exercise. Since that time has passed I also decided it was a good idea to eat a half of tub of low fat ice cream ( which really didn't even taste good), but heck if the scale was broken who would ever know. Well immediately I felt horrible, not like sick to my stomach ( that came later,since I am lactose intolerant) but that was really not the smartest thing to do, put in an extra 60 minutes of cardio the following day, and when I was done something happened. Some light bulb went off, just becuase I don't know a number just because I can't see progress or failure doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I remember not weighing for years, I mean this years. And this morning at my mom's house( I took a nap after my midnight shift) I woke up and looked up at her side table where she had a picture of me and my hubby and my niece.( from approx 2003), the things is I didn't recognize the woman in the picture. I am sitting here at my keyboard in tears I had to be close to my heaviest around 230, and I wonder how long I walked around thinking if no one saw the number if no one ever saw a size, they wouldn't see me. I was so unhappy, I don't know how it's possible I had a man who loved me for who I was ( and who I am), a mom and dad who would do anything in their power to see that nothing every bad happened to me, my niece( at the time we didn't have our own kids, hadn't even started to TTC)was the light in my life, and none of that made me me happy. Until I truly knew and understood God's love I was empty. So when I weighed this afternoon ( anxiously) and after I have already eaten for the time, I am usually a first thing after the bathroom in the morning kind of gal, and the scale said 148.2, I know that with God's help that I can get to my goal I can get anywhere I want to, so now that I am done crying over my keys I am off to study for Chemistry, after all God is there to help me through the next 2 plus years of school, and family, and work. For those of you who are doing the math btw that is 87 pounds lost(236 was my highest scale weight it could have been more but like I said I didn't weigh ever, this was my starting weight with my pregnancy in 2005) .

The pictures below start in 2005 I actually can't find any of the pics my mom has for the same reason I didn't weigh, once I had my son there are some shots of us after all I didn't want him to forget that I was around when he was little. ( the images won't post so sorry you will have to visit the links

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u59/jrlenig/Insanity before/001.jpg

This is my progress pic after I started MFP!
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u59/jrlenig/Insanity before/weightloss3.jpg

This is the beginning of April and a new challenge to hit my goal weight by May 11!
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u59/jrlenig/Insanity before/100_2707.jpg

FearAnLoathing

You look great.Awesome post.

JPod279

Congrats! Keep up the good work. You have done an awesome job!

DancingVe

Keep up the good work! You look great!

♥♥YoungMrs♥♥

Wow..what an inspiration!! You look amazing honey!! Always keep looking up when you are feeling down..

bjshields

WOW, that is so inspiring! And you're right, we get so caught up in the numbers sometimes that we forget how we FEEL about it really matters. Thanks for sharing. Keep up the good work!

MiniMichelle

Reading this post brought tears to my eyes. You have done an amazing job!

dwellsouth

You look amazing! Very well done!
And reality can sure be a *kitten* but you have to face it to reach your goals - for YOU! :glasses:

Kjandcuttysmom

congrats and good luck throughout your journey. you look great!

AmberLiscous

Congrats on the amazing weight loss :flowerforyou:

jrlenig

Thanks for all your support don't think i would have gotten this far before I found MFP!

KandiLicious

Awesome progress!!! You look great!

Newfiedan

hmm tried to link them but did nor work.

StaceyL76

I can relate to almost everything you said. I am so happy the lightbulb went on. You have worked so hard and look wonderful, but more importantly, you have realized that you are worth it! You are worth the efforts it takes to reach the goals that are yours.
Way to Go!

andreanchris

Jama! You have worked your bootie off... literally I am so proud of you.You have no idea how much you motivate me to keep on trucking with my weight loss. I still have a ways to go and I am thankful for you and your journey.

jrlenig

Thanks Andrea you yourself are an inspiration! Everybody has to keep on trucking even when the holidays have us in a bind! Looking forward to picking back up after the holiday, it is officially my no track time! But I am making smart choies, like only one smore, instead of 4!

ajmz319

amazing!!! good for you! it's a journey and it's wonderful to read stories of perserverance!!!