Why you should eat your celery (joke)

Phoenix_Rising
Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
edited September 2024 in Chit-Chat
The only bit of background you need: "Captain" is my ex.



Phoenix_Rising's Facebook post: I don't WANT any celery. *frump*

Comment from childhood best friend:
But it's a negative calorie food and will help you lose weight. By losing weight you can decrease your blood pressure. By decreasing your blood pressure you can lower the risk of heart disease. By lowering your risk of heart disease you can live longer. By living longer you increase your chances of outliving Captain. By out living Captain you give yourself the opportunity to dance on his grave. So you see by eating celery you get to dance on Captain's grave.

It tastes better now doesn't it!?


I responded by sending her a picture of me, holding my celery, with the world's biggest grin on my face.

I will never again think of celery as anything else but a life-elongating, dancing-on-graves wonderful food!

:laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh: :bigsmile:

Replies

  • jsmith2377
    jsmith2377 Posts: 208 Member
    LMFAO
  • ♥AngelKisses♥
    ♥AngelKisses♥ Posts: 86
    LOVE IT!!!
  • Kirsty_UK
    Kirsty_UK Posts: 964 Member
    :laugh:
  • mandylanerocks
    mandylanerocks Posts: 100 Member
    hahaha this made me laugh out loud!!! :) sounds like you've got a good friend there to remind you of all the wonderful benefits of eating celery & losing weight :) awesome!!!!!!!!!
  • CricketKate
    CricketKate Posts: 3,657 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Sorry you feel that way about your ex. Thanks for the laugh.
  • HeatherrSue
    HeatherrSue Posts: 106 Member
    That's adorable...and all very very good reasons. Try it with some fat free cream cheese on top...YUMMY!
  • DianeAuger
    DianeAuger Posts: 28
    LOL!! you have made my day with this one! love it as I crunch my celery! I dip my in a berry vinegarette or try cottage cheese with garlic and chives or dill. No peanut butter!
  • Chiquita_Banana
    Chiquita_Banana Posts: 500
    lol love it!
  • Dippydog
    Dippydog Posts: 154
    Too funny.
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,850 Member
    this is the BEST STORY!!! i'm totally keeping this around!
  • Heatherbelle_87
    Heatherbelle_87 Posts: 1,078 Member
    OMG! I love it! Total motivation
  • Mkmassey3
    Mkmassey3 Posts: 214 Member
    Loved this!! :laugh:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That is so funny!
  • sassylilmama
    sassylilmama Posts: 1,493 Member
    bwahaha
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Sorry you feel that way about your ex. Thanks for the laugh.

    CricketKate,

    As much as he irritates the crap out of me (he isn't ..... aw hell, he's a piss poor father), I don't hate him and I'd never dance on his grave! My friends hate him much more than I do! Her reply was too funny though!! :wink:
This discussion has been closed.

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