I choose to stay fat!

annpat28

I have been thinking about this alot. I need to lose alot of weight, about 80 lbs. I will do great for a week or so, exercising and eating under my calories for the day. Then comes the weekend, It is like i completely forget or ignore what i need to do. So i eat everything wrong, dont exercise and usually it lasts about 5 days and i have undone everything i did. I have not exercised in 10 days and i have not watched what i eat. I usually lay in bed at night and think about how i am going to lose weight starting the next day. A couple of nights ago i was doing the same thing and while i was doing that i got to thinking. My weight is the one thing i have total control over. No one else can make me fat, no one else can make me lose weight. It is really very simple, i know how to lose weight. I need to exercise every day and stay under my calories. But instead of doing this i choose to eat the wrong things, drink too much soda, sit on my butt in front of the tv. Even this morning i woke up and immediately opened a can of Dr. Pepper. I have come to realize that until i figure out how to change my thinking and take control of my body and mind I CHOOSE TO BE FAT! I really dislike the person that i am and yet i know that i am the only one who can change it. I dont know how this will all end up, i know that i need to make some major changes. I just dont know how to make myself do it. I dont want anyone to feel sorry for me, i dont feel sorry for myself. I am very angry with myself for my lack of self control. Sorry for the vent..

Krisec

Good Luck to you - It sounds just like me - lol

Dawntodusk

I think you've made an important first step. Congratulations. However, it is not completely your fault or choice, although you are the only one who can do something about it. What I mean is that the food industry does not care about our health so they purposely manufacture food that appeals to the palate and that is - essentially - addictive. Think tobacco. Sugar is addictive. You are most probably addicted to it. I would say that a good 2nd step is to recognize that and cut out the sugar and refined carbs. Then it's not just a matter of self-control. You will no longer want those things and life will become ever so much easier. Good luck to you!

MrsSorenson

You sound very much like me a few months back. I'd go back and forth back and forth. But you will know when YOU are ready. Untill then don't beat yourself up, that only makes it worse. You have to be in the right mind set to lose the weight. But when you are.. IT FEELS SOO GOOD!

There is a ton of support on here for you when you are ready.

dalzinho

Don't be angry at yourself, and don't hate yourself either. I mean, I don't know you from Adam, but I'm sure you're quite nice.

Just stop buying sнiте from the supermarket (or at least, buy less!) and get to the gym occasionally, instead of beating yourself up.

Better to be tubby and at peace with yourself than tubby and miserable, right?

shanolap

I find it amazing that you were willing to be so personal here. That is a big achievement and should not be taken lightly. The next step could be that you join a group, either Weight Watchers, a health club or something else that would help hold you accountable...to you! Good luck on your journey, the tools you need are inside you!

963Nitro

Nobody is forcing you to get skinny. In your profile you said you want to do it for your health... I guess the shorter time you're going to be spending with your grand kids is alright with you then, along with being out of breath when you try and play with them and setting that awesome example for them to learn from. You know the one, "when things get hard, just quit". Yeah great job.

I'm sorry I'm not here to give you the attention you want and try to "win you back to the healthy side"
Some people just need tough love and know the consequences to their actions not only affect them, but the friends and family around them too.

You're welcome in advance btw for my tax dollars paying for your future medical bills due to poor lifestyle choice. Good luck with your goal! :flowerforyou:

FunRun08

Good luck, you will get there. I know exactly what you're talking about. I used to get so mad at how I looked and how I ate I took me a long time to admit that I had no one to blame but myself. Admitting where you are in the process is a great first step to getting where you want to be.

jamiefire7

Don't be sorry! It is good to get it out

I do the same thing. I need to lose about 30 pounds and I yo-yo all the time. Finally yesterday I decided that nothing tastes as good as feeling good about myself/my body feels...

WarmDontBurn

Wow that sounds a lot like I was. I convinced myself I was ok with where I was. Before I had kids I was 120lbs and never in my life worried about my weight. I could eat crap all day long and nothing. My whole life was like that so exercise and diet were just not in my day to day life.

THEN I had kids. My first I was on bedrest in the hospital for 44 days. Nothing but laying in bed and eating and eating. Ohh the chips I consumed. So easy to pass it off as a craving. Everyone said once you have the baby you will lose the weight...ya right I had a 4lb baby but still only lost a few pounds.

When I decided we want another I used that as a motivator. I was totally motivated to lose weight because I didn't want to add to 40lbs I had gained with my first. I found calorie counting and lost 30+lbs.

Had my second child and gained even more with her. It was after her I said I was happy with my weight...well I appeared content until I couldn't get my old jeans past my knees! I went back and forth for months. I said once I was done breastfeeding I would calorie count again and I did for a day or week here and there. I started and stopped so often. I then decided we needed to update our family pictures and I would not be happy to look at me in my fat suit. So I made up my mind and got busy.

For me I need motivation. A goal and challenge. Is there something you can set as your goal? Find something that pushes you.
After many, many starts and stops I totally see where you are coming from but not sure what needed to change inside me.

Hope you find that switch or can set a goal because once you stick to it for a month or two the reward of weigh loss keeps you going.

monkeybuttsmommy

I went through this same realization! And I am proud to say I have been on my journey for close to 7 weeks now and have lost 12 pounds and almost 3 inches off my waist! I am very proud of myself! Your right that its all a choice and I guess we really dupe ourselves into thinking that we don't have control over our weight, but we do! Good luck to you!

Goal_Seeker_1988

Well, first off, give yourself the weekends. But once Monday comes try to get back on track. Once you hit the breaking thru point then it'll be so much easier to stick to it. Give yourself goals and rewards for accomplishing them. Don't set yourself up for disappointment. Treat yourself but don't over indulge. Take one day @ a time. Give yourself time to watch tv but don't let it be the only thing you do all day. For me if I don't set my alarm and get up everymorning at the same time and force myself to go to the gym then I end up not goin and I know that. So if you make a certain time of the day set aside just for exercise and stick to it everyday then it'll get easier.

WillWorkout4Food

Don't be angry at yourself, and don't hate yourself either. I mean, I don't know you from Adam, but I'm sure you're quite nice.

Just stop buying sнiте from the supermarket (or at least, buy less!) and get to the gym occasionally, instead of beating yourself up.

Better to be tubby and at peace with yourself than tubby and miserable, right?

It really is this easy once you are ready to commit to being less lazy. We have ALL been where you are, and when this vent occurs it means it's time to kick into gear. We are all here to support you!

jrusso28

I ended up in the emergency room before finally putting myself in gear.
That ambulance trip got me to quit smoking and start eating right.

Dont wait til your terminally ill before you start doing the right thing.

Dont get skinny, get healthy!

mielikkibz

I've got more to lose than you, and I do it in baby steps

Don't worry about the exercising right now, worry about eating better. Don't worry about huge jumps. Even if you don't eat perfect, take one part of your diet and master it, before moving on to another.

Soo, say that you eat a lot of chips. .. say this is the week that I'm goign to start eating less chips, and then work on that one thing, when you have it under control, state "this is the week I'm going to eat X number of servings of veggies without the extras" etc, etc.. . .

Give yourself a mini goal, not a huge one, a mini goal. .setting goals to high when it comes to weight loss seems to be the way to encourage failure. I'm hard on myself, so I set higher goals, but I also don't tend to get upset wtih myself if I screw it up Last week was a horrid week for me, I till ate decently well, just not under my 'ultimate weight loss' wish. . .but I'm currently stressed and needed to be bad a bit. . .and when you hit that mini goal, give yourself something to reward, a massage, a pedicure, a new purse, something that works for yOU

Good luck, you can do it. . .

georgiajuly

I am very angry with myself for my lack of self control.

YOU ARE NOT THAT BAD!!!!!
Now take that insight and use it to start being nice to yourself!
It took me 18 years of pretty steady gaining to get my brain wrapped around this diet/weight loss issue. The first day, in frustration, I decided to starve myself as much as necessary to lose it. I ate a Lean Cuisine meal (slimy turkey, gross sauce, and mushy vegetables, 180 calories), and I thought, "I can't eat this s***!" . That led to a mental brainstorming session of what I could reasonably eat, without punishing myself, and a real plan, which has been supplemented significantly by MFP. The rest, I fervently hope, is history.
Best of luck!

spaztastic13

Talk to your doctor and a nutritionist and you need to change your state of mind. If you dont then you will be like this forever and you dont want that....only you can change who you are and what you do and what u put in your body....hope that helped!

avninjalette123

I think that relizing what you do is an AMAZING step to start your weight loss! GRATZ! It took me three years of doing what you are doing to say enough is ENOUGH!!!! Now I take the weekends off...off of exercise and off of tracking. I actually just got so used to tracking I tend to still do it on the weekends. The only thing I care about at the end of the day is my cals. Right now it's just too much to try and watch everything. Take it one day at a time. Everyday is a new day and you start with a clean slate....even if it's an everyother day and you go over...no big deal because you have that chance to start over again and again...

oBirdieo

I can totally sympathize. Your post sounds exactly how I feel sometimes.

BUT, you're totally right -- you (we!) have complete control over how we treat ourselves and it comes down to taking it one day (hell, sometimes one minute!) at a time.

For me, temptation is just too much. If there's junk in my house, I will eat it. Period. So get rid of that Dr. Pepper, girl! Get rid of anything and everything that keeps you from being successful.

You deserve to be happy and healthy, and it's within your power to do it!

Sending you a friend request because I'd love to cheer you on!

ShellyMacchi

*S* yup.. choosing to BE a person you can admire and respect ... is a life changing realization, good luck on your journey *S*

havingitall

I hear you on this. I lost 87 lbs on MFP and then for the last year have been eating a lot of garbage and not losing weight. I know how to eat right, I know how to exercise... I even have had success at losing weight but still chose to go off it.

There are underlying issues that need to be dealt with. I have realized what some of my issues are and I am dealing with them. The hurts of my past can only hurt me now if I let them. I was actually discussing this with my 20 year old son yesterday, telling him how I felt aboutthings my mother did or didn't do and he pointed out some things to me. My Mom passed away over 5 years ago....why do I still get angry about things? I give control to somebody who isn't even around to do anything to me!

When you start to deal with your issues, you will find this easier to do.

I have just re-affirmed in my own mind that I can eat garbage and feel that way...or I can eat well and feel THAT way. I am tired of feeling like garbage.

Good luck to you. I hope you find the underlying problem and deal with it so you can find your way to health.

Johnnyswife

Good job owning your actions and the results that come from them. However, you will not wake up one day with willpower and self control. Its hard and a lot of work, and you have to push yourself to make the changes and see results, but it can only happen when you are ready!

I don't think anyone who is overweight wakes up one day and suddenly has the ability to eat the right things and work out. We face temptations everyday and are tired and don;t wanna work out, so we have to make the choice to eat right and work out.

For me, I push myself only after I hit rock bottom and know I need to change or else. We all have that moment where something clicks and it keeps us pushing until we get where we need to be.

So the first step is owning up to your choices. Its a big step and a good one that you took. :flowerforyou:

TCrawford70

I have been the same way for many years-I think part is A.D.D. and another part is bad habit. A few weeks ago I started a program with Peertrainer called Point of No Return (PoNR). They send you modules every week that help re-train your thinking and habits and walk you through everything from cleaning out you cabinets to helping you choose better decisions. It has been very helpful so far as to getting on the right track- hence how I found MFP. Between the two programs I have changed my outlook on things and am more positive in this whole weight loss journey. I have more inspiration to do what I need from everyone here on MFP. I have about 60 lbs. to lose and it is going to take time but it just feels right this time. Don't lose hope and don't give up, and you are right we are the ones who have to do it. I am one step closer today then I was yesterday, and if you fall dust yourself off and go back at it!:bigsmile: Good Luck and feel free to bfriend me!

catcrazy

Try changing just ONE thing this week. I'll give you the first one if you like...switch to Dr Pepper Zero...that'll do for this week.

Now what do YOU want to change next week?

Baby steps will get you there quicker than giant leaps if giant leaps mean you keep stumbling backwards

kkellam1

I think you are exactly correct. I realized the same thing about myself a while back. I "thought about" losing weight many times and could just not seem to take action. I have been overweight for most of my 20 year marriage. When I began this attempt in February, I realized very clearly that the past attempts were just window dressing for myself. I didn't really realize it at the time, though. This time, though, I could tell from the start that the dedication was real, the desire a true desire, not just wishful thinking. And the results have proven me correct.

The reason I tell you this is that I believe that you have taken an important first step. The self inventory is so important. Now you might need to have a conversation with yourself about where on your priority list you are placing improving your health. If the time is right for you to make this effort your top priority, you will succeed with flying colors. I believe that by writing the post that you just did, you are getting ready.

As another poster said, don't beat yourself up over the bad. Just make some decisions and when the time is right for you, do it with everything you have. Celebrate every success you have along the way and use them to build momentum. You can do it. I like to realize that it's not an either/or, hit the goal or lose situation. Every pound, every good choice, every small improvement you make is something really good. Make today a healthier day than yesterday. Then do another day. Pretty soon you've made serious improvements and are better off than when you started.

jdm_taco

It is great that you figured this out. Stick to your plan, stay motivated, and set small achiveable goals. This is behavior modification and it sounds like you are on the right path. Good luck!!

jrbb0309

Sometimes making all the changes we need to make at once is overwhelming.

Last summer, I decided I couldn't change all my bad habits at once but I also couldn't continue the way I was going. So... I told myself I would give up potato chips and french fries. I could eat chocolate, drink soda/pop, eat fried foods, etc, but no more potato chips and french fries. A month later I couldn't have cared less whether I ever had another potato chip or french fry. I actually discovered that on wing night, I loved having a good house salad with my wings.

Then I gave up soda/pop. I could have water, 100% juice cut with water, chocolate milk, etc, but no pop. Another month later and I no longer had any interest in soda/pop.

The next thing to go was added salt. And I cut down fried foods to once a week. Gave up my smart food popcorn. Now I'm working on chocolate.

By taking things in baby steps and focusing on one thing at a time, I've been able to have a much easier time of changing my habits.

You may not need to give up things completely. I find I'm addicted to various foods, etc, and that cutting them out completely (while finding healthy substitutes) is best for me. Anyway. I actually spent 6 months focusing just on changing my food habits without tracking calories or working out or giving myself grief about the habits I had yet to change and it was really liberating. I found I actually lost weight (just a little but better than gaining) by relaxing about everything except each individual goal.

Just an idea... you might find the same sort of approach appeals/works for you.

Oh, and it also works for exercise. I went from doing nothing to 3 days a week of Wii yoga with a bit of strength training to months later doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and working out 5 or 6 times a week. Now I actually get antsy if I take more than one rest day. Who would have ever thought? :P

amazondan

It sounds like you're being 100% accountable which is a tremendous first step. Recognizing that you're choosing fat over fitness is an awareness that many lack. So based on that, it is up to you to ask, "Why am I choosing fat?" The answer to that could be quite self-revealing...and the key to moving you towards choosing fitness. Best of luck (though luck is the residue of design).

kelley555

It is totally amazing how you sound just like me! I would lay awake totally disgusted with myself for being overweight but then I wouldn't do anything about it. I finally decided that I needed to stop waiting for the next project or day or week or season and start living for today. I give you so much credit to talk to us so freely about your feelings. You are not alone and I wish you luck on your journey.

olyrose

That's a lot like what motivated me to really invest in the process around losing weight. I realized that all the good things in my life were there because I had ACTIVELY MADE them happen (finishing college, moving to a city I love, getting a great job, etc). And yet with my weight, I always just WISHED it would change but never did anything consistent or deliberate to move toward that goal. Earlier this month it hit me how ridiculous that was, and that if I could actively make other things happen, I could actively lose weight.

You are right that only you can make this decision, but don't let that feel like pressure. Take it as motivation to see positive results from something you choose to do.

You are obviously not happy with your current state, and losing weight is difficult, but you can choose which discomfort you'd rather have - make a healthier choice and give up something that's easy to turn to, or live as you are.

Use your food diary for meal planning. Sit down in the morning and map everything out. Give yourself some cheat calories (maybe 200 a day that are unaccounted for that you can do whatever you want with).

Find that motivator inside yourself and do something with it. You can do it if you decide to! Good luck with everything

lloydrt

i do know, that for me, not having in the house saves me........No kids here, so I dont have to worry about having snacks for kids, etc, moms who do have kids.............I respect you

The biggest reason why I chose to change, was my health...........in a few years, your blood pressure will increase, putting you at risk for heart disease, and strokes

you could face renal damage, resulting in death or kidney dialysis

liver damage due to belly fat that will damage your liver

gall stones because of a fatty diet, you could be forced to undergo surgery for gall bladder removal

I could go on and on, but by now you get my points............Obesity kills, it kills over 75, 000 kids a year and 110 , 000 adults a year.........thats all I needed to know to make my change. Obesity kills....

best wishes, I hope you do it and soon, if not for you, for your loved ones...........Llloyd