*Ssooobb*

SparkleLisa

So, we're watching Tv this weekend and a commercial comes on for Biggest Losers Home version (or whatever). My 9 yr old son turns to me and says "mom, you need to do that because you need to lose weight" My reaction was not a nice one and I left the room...

I know he wasn't trying to be mean, and he probably thought he was being helpful since I obsess about losing weight constantly and God only knows what thoughts actually come out of my mouth unintentionally when I'm thinking about my weight...

Still didn't make me feel very good...

chicabella

I am sorry your son said that to you. kids...! But you are on here , using this and on the right track! Every day is a new day..something I need to remember myself. Don't give up

wyze

Lisa, i know its hard to hear, but i think that you should have given your son a big hug cos guess what, He was being SUPPORTIVE in a kiddy sort of way, thats my spin of the said event and i think its a nice one :-) hope that cheered u up. HUGS Lisa.You are here and you are getting you life on track, you have every reason to be proud :flowerforyou: Hope you feel better

skinnylizzard

Awe, the innocent honesty of children! Now would be the perfect opportunity to teach him about tact and sensitivity! So many men grow up not learning that lesson, only to cause grief to the women who are left to teach them as adults. H doesn't know how it makes you feel because he has never experienced it for himself.

LillysGranny

Your son loves you very much and only wants you to have what you want -- weight loss. Give your little guy a hug and use his words as a wake up call....not that you're too fat but that he hears too much about how unhappy you are with yourself.

MyNameIsNotBob

I assume he's been hearing you talk about losing weight. That's where he got it. If he hears you saying those things about yourself, he'll say them, too. I know it must be hurtful to hear that from him, but this could be a good wake-up call for you to pay more attention to how you talk about health / fitness / weight / diets / self-image around your children.

chezmama

Awe, the innocent honesty of children! Now would be the perfect opportunity to teach him about tact and sensitivity! So many men grow up not learning that lesson, only to cause grief to the women who are left to teach them as adults. H doesn't know how it makes you feel because he has never experienced it for himself.

I couldn't agree more, having married such a man. His momma died when he was just a kid so she wasn't around to teach him. He has gotten much better over the years but you can't really put those words back once they are out there. Having said that, I have had to teach some of the same lessons to my 13 year old daughter and she has become one of my greatest encouragers...now that she knows that any sentance that starts out " Not to hurt your feelings, mom..." either needs to be rephrased or unsaid altogether.

WVBayouGal

As a 9 year-old, your son loves and respects his Mommy....and wants you to be happy. I'm sure he was supporting you, but because of being so sensitive about your weight, (yeh, me too) you took it the wrong way. I agree, I think you should give your son a hug, tell him you were wrong (yes, as parents we can be wrong and admit it) to yell at him, and you know he was just trying to help. I also agree that this is a good time to share with him how to support you without hurting your feelings....teach him the right words to say that would make you feel good!
BTW, my 'boy' is now 37, it seems like yesterday he was 9.... so enjoy your son while he is little and give him lots of hugs!!!!

JustJudy

We are our own worst enemy when it comes to our weight and body image huh?! I use to always say that about myselt until my son (5 y.o. at the time) said to me, "Mom why do you always say you look fat?" You don't look fat to me!" That stopped me dead in my tracks! I was painting a picture in their minds and it wasn't a good one. I have gotten much better (10 years later) at watching how I talk about myself and my body. (Just in time since we have a daughter now too). I try my best to use words like 'I want to be healthier', and " I want something healthy" instead of referring to myself as "fat' or describing food as 'bad for me'. It is a difficult thing to change, I've been battling this demon for about 30 years! I grew up in a family that always commented on weight whenever they saw you. You were too fat, too skinny, must be sick, doing drugs, etc. I would encourage you to use this as a learning opportunity and sit down with your son. Explain to him where your outburst came from and talk about the steps you are taking towards a healthier you. You will be glad you did! My biggest cheerleaders on this journey are my immediate family (3 kids and hubby!). I have also managed to make a positive impact on the very people who distorted my own body image growing up. Good luck to you!

spackham

My family says, "Do you want support or the truth?" I've been saying "support" for a long time but recently I started asking for the truth. If the truth hurts and you can or are already doing something about it, great. Put the comment behind you and move on. I agree with the comments that he was being supportive and just mirroring the reality you have been telling him his whole life. Love your son, he loves you!

emilex

Oh Lisa. I know it's hard to hear that kind of stuff from your family especially your babies! But if you talk about losing weight all the time.....of course he was going to say that! You say you want to lose weight...the commercial says its for people who want to lose weight.....the math in a little kids head is pretty easy! At least, that's what I told myself when my 5 year old told me "mommy you should buy that" about super slim or some crazy weight loss pills on a commercial!!! So, I have been there girl. And it does hurt. But just remember your kids are learning what you live. And another poster was right, he thought he was saying something good, something you would like, supportive. Something that would get you what you want....to lose weight! Hang in there, keep at it. You are doing great! ((hugs))

SparkleLisa

Thanks gang I just have to be more aware to approach it or react better next time... he's such a health freak at 9 already. It's amazing how observant he is. He is constantly asking "is this healthy to eat?" of course that doesn't stop him from eating candy or ice cream LOL - but at least he's asking and is interested in what is or isn't healthy.