Just to be polite...

shivers

I keep finding myself in situations where I need to eat what I'm given just so that I don't offend my host!! I've been trying to explain that I'm trying to "be good", that I'm trying to eat "low-fat/carb etc. etc." but they just put the plate of food in front of me and I feel so rude if I don't finish it! (damn that sense of etiquette!! :laugh: )

Is anyone else finding this a problem?

shivers

I keep finding myself in situations where I need to eat what I'm given just so that I don't offend my host!! I've been trying to explain that I'm trying to "be good", that I'm trying to eat "low-fat/carb etc. etc." but they just put the plate of food in front of me and I feel so rude if I don't finish it! (damn that sense of etiquette!! :laugh: )

Is anyone else finding this a problem?

tall_t

OMG yes!

I had 2 potlucks last week and I work in a position where I would offend if I didn't try something from everyone!

UGH!

ali106

I work in a "lets-bring-in-dessert-and-food-we-don't-want-in-our-house-for-our-co-workers-to-drool-over" office...sigh and they get all offended if you don't try some....they all know I'm being good and watching my cals etc...and now are used to me not having any or if I do..a smidgen....in the beginning I'd get all the comments and even teased about not wanting it...."you on a diet girl?" then laughing....me...ah ya {thinking what the heck is funny about that?!}

anyway....just taste it maybe and try to eat loads of salad if they have it....and RAVE about it...OMG you're salad is amazing...LOL...they'll be happy I'm sure....I think people just need to get your oo's and ah's of their food, I mean it is nice to hear you did well I suppose...but still stay strong!

hugs!!!
Ali

banks1850

I'm pretty sure everyone in my life now knows I'm not going to eat that stuff anymore. I have made it pretty clear to everyone I love. And almost all of them are fine with it. To people who don't know, well, be polite, but refuse. They'll live if you don't try it. Any chance I can, I try to tell people ahead of time that I'm being very strict with my food, if they don't like it, that's their issue, not mine. You need to be firm on this. People have a habit of coming to their own conclusions and not asking, just make sure they know, if they are still offended, then that tells you more about them then you. But note, if you know they will be doing a lot of prep work and cooking, it's polite to let them know ahead of time that you won't be eating some of the bad stuff. Be clear, be firm, but don't give in just cuz they insist. Insist right back!

jdickerson14

I hate being in this situation.

Yesterday my boss brought donuts in. I tried to ignore the donuts. But then my boss asked me if I wanted one. All I said was no thank you. She said she wouldn't bug me about it. Other people asked what happend and she said I was trying to be good.

Later one she went to the store and got me a nutri-grain bar with a little note that say "This isn't too bad". It was really nice and funny. But it makes me feel bad.

This morning we are having a breakfast pot luck and I dread it. I would be fine with just not having any but I know people are going to say something. I'm not trying to be rude. I just know myself and know that when I cheat I don't just stop at a little bit. So, I try my best to not cheat at all.

shkaki

just be firm and say no thank you. i've had to do that with mine and my fiance's family for almost 3 years now. They still try to push it on me, but i'm very firm about saying no thanks. Eventually they stopped really giving me a hard time about it. I think a lot of the pressuring comes because everyone who IS eating it feels uncomfortable because they probably know they shouldnt be having it either and are in some small way a bit jealous of you for having the strength, and knowledge to say "no thanks". If they're offended, then bring in something really healthy someday to share with everyone and show them what are good things that you enjoy snacking on!!!

jamerz3294

Yeah, sometimes you just hafta be loving, but firm, and don't give in. If it's food that you like, you could try just doing one bite of it, but that could lead to a slippery slop of eating too much. The people that really do love you will understand, just give them a bit advance notice, and stay the course with polite insistence. :flowerforyou:

jlwhelan1

With food there is the whole food = affection = nurturing thing going on.

There are (at least) three main types of people

Sabotagers -
Type A - If you don't eat the food I prepared then you don't like me...you hate me:sad:
Type B - If you don't eat the food I prepared then you might look better than me and I will feel bad about myself...you hate me:sad: (or the I hate you type:devil: )

Nurturer -
I just want you to feel included. I just want you to know I care. If you eat something I gave you then you know I care. I want you to know I care. Eat so I know that you know that I care. I'm ignoring that you are on a diet to lose weight and get fit because I already like you so eat so you know that I care.

Clueless -
Diet? I keep forgetting. Of course you want to eat (take it for granted.)
Did I ask you already? Do you want some? Of course you do...here it is.:happy:

In my sphere there are a lot of clueless. They don't mean any harm. I can't eat wheat/gluten/eggs/dairy. They keep offering...then catch themselves and apologize, then loudly bemoan that I am really missing out (when in fact I don't care and don't miss having the treats.):laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

dothompson

Sometimes the best thing you can do is control portions. There is nothing impolite about not clearing your plate and saying "that was delicious, but I'm stuffed".

One thing I've learned that works really well is that when someone is coming to my house and wants to bring a dish, I tell them that I've been on a weight loss plan and would they please bring a green salad. Then I just rave about it and gorge myself. They're flattered and I'm successful.

tashjs21

I just politely say no "thank you". I am doing this for me and if someone gets offended that I want to watch what I put into my body...then oh well. That is their problem.
Now every now and then I will try a tiny bit and then make sure to go longer at the gym that night.